A Kotor Tale
by Kudara
Summary: KOTOR Revan Bastila ff romance  Comments and suggestions for improvement welcome.
1. Revan's Tale

Revan's Tale

**Revan's Tale - Chapter 1**

**By Kudara**

Disclaimer: The name Star Wars, Jedi, Sith, are all the sole copyrighted property of George Lucas. The names, and material from the game Knights of the Old Republic are copyright property of LucasArts and Bioware. In no way does this work intend to profit from the use of any Star Wars material.

Rating: Teen +13

Revision History: 12/23/07

Feedback: Always welcome, feedback is what encourages me to keep writing. Please let me know what you like and what you dislike about the story.

* * *

Revan was supposed to be studying in her room, not sulking about the grounds of the Jedi training enclave, sidling from behind one bit of statuary or bush to another, carefully staying out of sight of the younger woman. She had been covertly watching Bastila for weeks; the brunette had a definite routine she followed, and at this time of day she always meditated in the grass field to the north of the enclave on top of one of the large boulders that dotted the area.

Revan cursed herself for following Bastila around like a moonstruck calf, but she couldn't stop herself. Just gazing upon Bastila from afar calmed the swirling mass of emotions she found herself caught up in more frequently every day. 'There is no emotion, there is peace.' She tried to calm herself with the words as she noiselessly climbed up a nearby boulder where she could watch over the younger woman.

'What am I doing here', she questioned herself sharply as she knelt laid down on the top of the boulder and then wiggled forward until she could see Bastila. 'I am a Padawan mooning over a woman four years younger than I. Wallowing in what I well know are dangerous emotions and desires. What draws me to her so strongly? What is this fascination she holds for me?'

Her attention divided between Bastila and the emotions and thoughts swirling so chaotically in her mind, it took Revan a few moments to become aware of another watcher's presence. One of which was creeping up on the young woman with thoughts of food, not desire, on its mind.

The kath hound was not alone, Revan immediately picked out three others in tall grass stealthy closing in on the younger Jedi. Revan cursed herself bitterly for not noticing the hounds earlier; she leapt to her feet and drew her lightsaber. Recklessly drawing upon the force, she used it to hurl her body across the distance between her and Bastila before the hounds reached the young brunette. She succeeded, surprising herself, and landed upon Bastila's rock, startling the young woman out of her meditation.

"What!?" exclaimed Bastila staring at Revan who was brandishing her two lightsabers. "Kath hounds guard yourself!" said Revan. Bastila leapt up, grabbing up her double bladed sword. Looking around, she immediately saw the danger she was in as the Kath hounds leapt at them.

As they fought, Revan was aware of how well Bastila was doing against the two kath hounds attacking her. Elegant and flowing in her motions, the younger Padawan was more than capable of defending herself against the two kath hounds she faced. Despite how well Bastila was doing against two hounds, Revan was all too aware of how close she had come to loosing the other woman. If Bastila had been alone, the four hounds would have been able to overpower her, drag her down and kill her.

A sharp stabbing pain in her leg was Revan's punishment for becoming distracted from the fight, one of the kath hounds had found a opening and now leap in and now its jaws were closed around her thigh, the teeth digging deeply into her flesh. She slammed the pommel of her lightsaber down upon the beast's head to stun it and make it let go of her leg, then flipping the lightsaber she drove the blade into the kath hound's chest before it could recover from the blow to its head. With the one hound down, she was quickly able to dispatch the second one and turned to assist Bastila with the two remaining kath hounds.

After the final hound was dead, Revan turned to Bastila, thoughts of what might have happened if she had not been there racing thru her mind. "I could have lost you," Revan cried embracing the dark haired younger woman. Impulsively she kissed Bastila. The soft giving of Bastila's lips, the feel of Bastila's body relaxing against her own, started Revan's heart racing and the blood pounding in her head. She deepened the kiss, trying to express all the feelings she had for the young woman in her arms with it.

Bastila had not been unaware of Revan's gaze upon her the past few months. The feelings inside her when she felt Revan's eyes upon her where disturbing and unwelcome, she felt both hot and cold by turns. The fragile peace she had built, and the mask of serenity she wore fractured every time Revan's gaze fell upon her.

Revan was beautiful, with her green grey long lashed eyes, her auburn hair, full lips and classic face. She was not tall, but always gave the impression of being taller than she was. She moved confidently and gracefully, giving the impression of a hunting cat, attracting both male and female eyes when she moved through the academy grounds intent on some task.

Lately, she had been intent on Bastila much to Bastila's dismay. Looking at Revan had been akin to looking into the noon day sun, her glances seemed to burn through her. She had been driven into increasing attempts to reclaim her unruffled existence, reciting the Code to herself, and recalling the endless lectures of the dangers uncontrolled emotions represented to a young Padwan. Her responses to Revan's glances frightened her.

Revan's embrace, and her anguished cry "I could have lost you", called up a storm of emotions in Bastila. Then Revan kissed her, and at first nothing seemed to exist but the feel of Revan's lips and her sheltering arms. Then Bastila's body began to react to Revan's and arousal was suddenly overcome with terror, Bastila forcefully pushed Revan away from her.

"Stop it!" she yelled wildly at Revan and herself, "I don't want you in that way; I don't want you to look at me anymore! Stop following me around and don't touch me again!"

Revan had gasped in pain, as Bastila had suddenly shoved her away, the gashes in her thigh making themselves known. But that pain was quickly surpassed by the pain in her heart, as she absorbed Bastila words, don't touch me, don't look at me" and then most humiliating "don't follow me around.

Revan's face became a white expressionless mask, she replied coldly, her voice only shaking the slightest bit in betrayal, "I am sorry my advances to you were unwelcome. I hope you will someday forgive me for my unacceptable behavior." The tone of her voice was devoid of any emotion, as expressionless as her face.

Bastila felt an incredible coldness spread in her chest as she realized what she had just yelled at Revan. Then she noticed that Revan was wounded and felt even worse. She started toward Revan exclaiming, "You're hurt." But Revan stepped away from her holding up a warding hand and said, "It is nothing, besides I wouldn't want you to have to touch me."

Bastila stopped, stunned by the words, and looked at Revan's expressionless face and pain-filled eyes. "Revan…" she whispered.

But Revan just said "No, I think you've made yourself quite clear Bastila, no need to apologize when it was I who erred by behaving inappropriately. You will not have to worry about it ever occurring again." With that Revan turned and limped away to the enclave.

The Mandalorian Wars came and Revan and Malak answered the call for help ignoring the warnings of the Masters.

Quietly to herself Revan acknowledged that she was in part leaving so that she would no longer be tormented by seeing Bastila each day. Maybe half a galaxy was far enough away to forget. Besides the cause was just and noble, why could the Jedi Masters not see that?

* * *

I wonder if I will have to kill Malak soon, Revan mused to herself. His excesses were becoming more and more pronounced, the destruction of Telos especially angering her. She enjoyed conquering planets. She enjoyed dominating them with an iron fist, breaking the spirit of the people until they obeyed her willingly out of fear and respect. However, that enjoyment required there to be people on the planets to dominate. Malak seemed to think that empty bombed out shells with a few broken survivors were worth ruling.

"Master," the raspy artificial voice of her apprentice brought her out of her meditation. She glanced at Malak, dispassionately noticing his face mask that hid the ruin she had made of his face for daring to speak of being allowed to participate in turning Bastila to the dark side. When she finally captured Bastila it would be she who broke her, not Malak, and she wasn't planning on making the Jedi an apprentice. Bastila would always be by her side, but not as a Sith, for she would never risk Bastila turning against her. No, the woman would serve as her obedient slave and only her slave. No one else would ever be allowed to touch Bastila and live.

"Yes, apprentice," she waited impassively.

"I have news. The Jedi Council will be sending a team of Jedi to attempt a strike against us. The Padawan Bastila will be among them," announced Malak.

Revan started, Bastila, here attempting to capture her? How amusing, her desired captive coming to her waiting chains. Revan smiled coldly, "Let their plans continue and we will draw them into a trap. I shall make Bastila my slave, and her power of Battle Meditation will be mine to command. You have done well finding this information and bringing it to me. I am pleased with it." Revan nodded in dismissal to Malak and returned to her meditation.

Her thoughts were obsessed with black scenes of how she would break Bastila to her will. How Bastila would hunger to fulfill her every wish and desire. How the beautiful woman would follow her master and beg for Revan to touch her. She would make sure the Bastila desired her touch so desperately that dark haired woman would never deny her again.

Malak strode out of the room, outwardly obedient to his masters wishes, carefully hiding the thoughts of vengeance in his mind. He caught the sight of his refection in the glass of the hallway, and his resolve hardened to have his vengeance on them both.

Nothing about this had gone as she planned, Revan thought bitterly, knowing full well who had betrayed her. Malak…he had seen his chance to claim the title he always wanted. However, in his usual weak way he would not face her directly. Instead, he let the Jedi fight his battles for him. Her ship's communications had been sabotaged, and certain units had been reassigned elsewhere, making an effective response to the Jedi and their strike team difficult.

It was her mistake though, she had shown weakness in obsessing over her plans for capturing Bastila, and that had given Malak his opportunity. Idly she wondered if he had been cunning enough to have arranged the whole thing from the start.

Perhaps, it mattered little to her though; she couldn't even manage be that angry at Malak. It was too difficult to feel much of anything today except for an empty, tired aloneness. She stood on the bridge of her battleship, and stared into space, her face hidden behind her environmental mask, giving few orders, and mostly ignoring the chaos around her. The few dark Jedi that she called were among the weaker of their brethren. It would not do for those approaching to think that she was just going to surrender to them, but she wanted to reasonably certain that Bastila would make it to the bridge uninjured.

Revan mused to herself, 'I'm not certain what I will do. Nothing seems very real today, and I cannot seem to rouse myself to feel anger or hate. I just feel empty, as does the universe around me.' Revan smiled bitterly, even her earlier lustful imaginings of how to break Bastila into being her willing slave seemed empty now and they made her feel slightly shamed and uneasy that she had ever thought them. Did she really think that she could bring herself to harm Bastila?

Revan watched with apparently impassiveness, as the Jedi and their strike force broke thought to the bridge. Three of her dark Jedi stood between the Jedi and she, and she watched as the battle ensued. Bastila was in the forefront, her yellow double bladed lightsaber a blur as she fought.

Revan for her part, watched her appreciatively. Bastilla had filled out, and now looked more mature, and more beautiful than she remembered. The sight of the dark haired beautiful Jedi was painful; Revan knew that too much blood and death separated them. There was no possibility of the lovely Jedi ever wanting anything to do with her now, not with the Dark Lord of the Sith.

A brash young soldier ran around the Jedi and attempted to attack her. Absently Revan waved her hand, and stopped him with a choke around his neck, as she waited for the Jedi to finish off the last of her Dark Jedi. As the last one fell, she noticed that she had killed the young man. 'One more to add to the blood already on my hands,' she thought darkly, it was impossible for her to turn away from what she had become.

Bastila eyes snapped with anger as she watched Revan drop the dead body, looking at the Sith Lord as if she were a monster.

Something was wrong with Revan's vision, it kept blurring, and she blinked to clear it. Dimly she was aware of how much pain that look of Bastila's had dealt her, but it was only accurate she was a monster. She hadn't meant to be when she started the war, but all the choices that she had made to win it, those choices had inevitably lead her here.

"You cannot win, Revan!" said Bastila.

Revan laughed, it was a wild, despairing sound as she raised her lightsaber. Suddenly she was aware of Malak's final move; his ship was firing at the bridge. He meant to kill both she and Bastila she realized, and that she could not allow. Her earlier question mocked her now, no she could never hurt Bastila, nor could she allow Bastila to be hurt today any more than she could that day four years ago.

Drawing on all her powers, she raised a force shield around the Jedi, desperate to protect Bastila. Revan felt a blinding sharp pain, then nothing as she felt herself sliding down into deaths welcome embrace.

The powerful force shield that had pressed them all to the deck had protected them from the sharp shards of flying debris that had flown across the bridge when the other ship had attacked them. Who had called it? It had been very strong, and then had faded away suddenly. Searching her memory, she recalled that Revan had gathered up the Force and released it at them. She had been sure it was an attack at the time, but now she realized that Revan had cast the shield to protect them.

Someone was dying, she could feel the life slipping further away from them with every moment; she rolled over and looked at the ruin of Revan's body. It was Revan dying, she had protected them from the deadly destruction of the bridge, but not herself. Time seemed to slow as she stared at Revan, the red strobing emergency lights casting a garish red color over everything, highlighting the wet slickness of the jagged wounds and the spreading dark liquid beneath the woman.

The barrier that Bastila used to protect herself from the feelings she had for Revan shattered and the young Jedi began frantically drawing upon the Force in a desperate attempt to prevent Revan's death. Uncaring of the sharp edges of the debris on the floor, Bastil crawled over to Revan's side and gently laid her hands upon the broken body.

She saw herself in Revan's mind, felt the power and intensity of Revan's feelings, and realized that Revan had acted unthinking of her own safety to protect her. Revan loved her, and she had thrown that love back in the older woman's face on the plains years ago, setting in motion the events that had lead up to this place where Revan was dying in front of her.

Somehow, the small group made it to their ship with Revan still alive. Bastila couldn't remember exactly how the small group of Jedi had managed to move them, as she had been completely absorbed in keeping Revan alive.

She had to give them both another chance, it couldn't end this way she wouldn't let it.

Jedi Knight Terian stood at the communications center of the ship, reporting to Master Vandar. "I don't know how we missed this at the academy, something happened between Revan and Bastila before Revan disobeyed the council. There was a weak bond between them, and the pain and injury that filled it was very apparent to all of us. I'm still amazed that Revan protected us, though perhaps I should say Revan protected Bastila. I believe we were protected only because we were near her." Terian paused a moment, deep in thought before continuing, "The entire trip through the Sith destroyer was too easy. I remember thinking that as we were fighting, there were not enough units, and the dark Jedi we faced were inexperienced."

Master Vandar questioned, "What thoughts from Revan did you pick up before you reached the bridge?"

Jedi Knight Terian thought back, "Very little, which was odd, I would have thought she would have attempted to turn us, but there was no such attempt. The only feelings I could pick up were tiredness and emptiness. I was beginning to hope that we might be able to turn Revan back to the light, but when we got to the bridge Malak attacked before I could speak to her."

Jedi Knight Maria hesitantly interrupted, "If I may bring up something…." Both Terian and the image of Master Vandar turned toward her and nodded. "I have felt what I felt from Revan before in my work on Coursant, with some of the refugees from the Sith worlds." She paused, looking sad, "The suicidal ones, the ones who had lost the will to live, and were just looking for a way out of life. That was what I felt from Revan, not the sense that we would be able to turn her, but that she had given up and was determined that we would kill her…. I got an overwhelming sense through her pain, that there was too much she had done to believe that she could come back. The only way out she could see was death. I think that's why she did not shield herself."

She paused for a moment longer, and everyone waited for her to continue. "From Bastila I sense a great guilt, for some reason she now blames herself for what Revan became. I knew during the trip here that Bastila felt that she needed to apologize to Revan for something she had said before Revan left, but she would not tell me what. I do not know what happened between them, but Bastila has thrown herself into keeping Revan alive, though I do not know what of Revan is left to keep alive."

There was silence as for awhile then as it became clear that no one had anything more to add Master Vandar finished, "Bring them back and we will see what there is that can be done, and the reasons behind what has occurred."

Jedi Knight Maria watched Bastila as she cradled Revan in her arms. Bastila's feelings of love, guilt and remorse were overwhelmingly obvious to Maria's force senses. The kolto had healed Revan's body, but the damage to her brain was beyond its ability to heal. She reached out her force senses to see if Revan still existed. There was only a faint sense of Revan, and what was left was very child like, and rested trusting in Bastila's arms aware only that Bastila cared for her and loved her, but Revan was beginning to pick up on Bastila's pain, and was becoming distressed.

She entered the room and rested a hand on Bastila's shoulder; Bastila looked up at her with reddened eyes. "Bastila you must control your emotions you are distressing Revan with your pain. She does not know why you are hurting, she just knows you are and it's upsetting her." Bastila looked if possible more stricken than before, and Maria felt her making the attempt to calm herself. "Bastila look into Revan's mind, can you see what remains?"

Bastila took some calming breaths, and then tentatively followed the older Jedi's suggestion. Only the weakest sense of Revan remained, and she followed that down into the other woman's mind to find what remained. A child, very young with little sense of whom they were, only knowing that someone caring was holding and protecting them and that they felt safe. There was some left over stress from where Revan had picked up on her pain, but that was fading. She came out of her meditation, and looked at Jedi Knight Maria wordlessly. Then with more calm cradled Revan against her, soothing the child that she knew was all that was left of the once powerful Jedi Knight.

Jedi Knight Maria returned to the communications area, Jedi Knight Terian looked at her questioningly. "They are both calmer now; though there is little of Revan left. What is left is childlike, with no memories remaining of even being at the Jedi academy, much less any of her time as the Sith Lord. The council will be able to determine whether or not that will continue I am sure," said Maria.

Terian asked "should we try and find out what is between them?" Maria decisively shook her head "No, that would be unwise. There is a strong bond between them, and if we upset Bastila we could damage beyond repair what remains of Revan. What would happen to Bastila's state of mind then I shudder to think. Both are very fragile right now. We should wait till Dantooine before raising any questions that might upset Bastila."

Bastila left the chamber; she had told the Jedi Masters almost everything. Only the image brightest in Revan's dying mind when she had first touched the Sith Lord did she hold back from the Masters.

They waited till she had left and fell to discussing what she had told them. Master Zhar said "This explains much about why Revan was so insistent about leaving, I always felt there was more to it than reasons she gave. In a way, I feel better knowing this. I had wondered if she had slipped to the dark side even then. Now I am certain she had not yet slipped, but was running from her problems here."

Master Vandar nodded, "Much work for both this will take, to mend what has been broken, of her guilt Bastila must overcome, her fear she must face. Much work has she to do, but a stronger Jedi will she be. Now of Revan we need to discuss. No memory left is there; repair her we can, but Revan she will not be. No force sensitivity do I detect, that has been lost. Decide what to do we must."

Master Dorak spoke up, "an old method in the archives describes how to guide a person with no memories into choosing their own path. We need to re-train her motor functions and cognitive abilities, then we can go through the process and she can choose what path she wishes to follow. She will never remember having done so, but the archives speak of this as being the only way that was found to do this without forcing a particular path upon the person."

"How is this done?" asked Master Zhar.

"Much in the same way as the path choosing for Jedi actually," commented Master Dorak. "I will guide her through situations and see how she chooses to deal with them. Once a basic choice has been made, the choices will become more and more specialized until one path for her becomes clear. Then we set about training her for that vocation, build up memories supporting it and arrange for a suitable position. After that we monitor her and make sure that she is adjusting and then leave her to build her own life."

Master Vandar nodded, "This is the path we will take, that Revan is dead we agree. A new life will she have."

Master Dorak said, "We are in agreement then. This shall be sealed and all parties counseled to strict secrecy about these events."


	2. Catherine McDonald is born

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own.   
  
Cait McDonald is born  
  
It took weeks to establish her history in her mind and establish files in the official records of her training. A planet attacked by the Sith was chosen for her naval training, this would explain the lack of complete records.  
  
Cait had suffered a head wound which caused her to loose her memory, but recently she had regained all her memories of training and insisted that she must report to the Republic Fleet. Once she was medically cleared she reported in to Coruscant for further orders. The navy reviewed the records of her training, noted the amazing number of languages she knew and called her in for a briefing.  
  
Ensign Cait McDonald reported as ordered to the Office of the Training Command. There she was asked if she would be interested in further training as a covert operations officer. She was warned the expected life span was short and there was a good chance she would die in combat, however she would be able to use her technical and linguistic skills to break into Sith bases, rescue captured Republic personnel, and assist local resistance movements with their fight against the Sith on occupied planets. Of course her answer was yes. She would attempt to complete the year long training.  
  
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Computer slicing, security bypass methods, robotic repair and reprogramming were the technical skills they first began training them in; small unit tactics and movement, stealth combat, advanced close weapons and sniper techniques, comprised the initial physical training. The physical training was demanding but fun in many ways, grungy and muddy often as not but oddly enough Cait enjoyed it.  
  
The Covert Ops school placed a strong emphasis on the mental stability of recruits due to the Sith defections following the Mandalorian Wars. They started the students with weekly ethics training. Those who displayed unacceptable responses to the ethics training at each phase would not be allowed to continue.  
  
The ethics training was hard on all of them. Initially it involved watching interviews with those who had fought in the recent Mandalorian wars. It was difficult to watch the interviews of how the soldiers had felt as they were ordered to desert worlds deemed tactically unimportant leaving them defenseless to the Mandalorin onslaught in order that they might reinforce more tactically important worlds. People had screamed at them for leaving, some had pleaded with them to stay and protect them. It had broken the spirit of many to obey such orders. Some of the soldiers were former Sith, and they were very open and honest about why they had joined the Sith.  
  
Looking on the war as a whole it was easy to see how the downward descent into darkness had occurred. The bitterest thing about the war was that the Republic had hailed every victory and had ignored the horrible things done to obtain it.  
  
It was a lesson the instructors took every chance to reinforce. Victory over the enemy was empty if you sacrificed your honor and ideals to obtain it. If you did so you would become the enemy as the Sith had, as Revan and Malak had. They couldn't fall to the dark side as the Jedi, but their actions could lead them down dark paths to become willing Sith soldiers.  
  
When the instructors had weeded out those incapable or unwilling to accept the lessons of the Mandalorian Wars they begin watching holo interrogations of captured Sith personnel. Since these were done for training the questions asked were more about how the person thought and felt about different things and were often done without any interrogation drugs. As with all the ethics training it was difficult, they had to figure out how and why the person they were watching had come to be whom they were. Not many nights went by without nightmares for many of them after some of these sessions.  
  
For Cait it became clear that certain emotions seemed to dominate all of the Sith soldiers. Fear and hatred were common themes for some, for others it was a will for power and complete domination over others.  
  
Some had ruthlessly killed the enemy out of hatred for what the enemy had done, and failed to realize they had become as evil as the enemy they fought. Others willing went to the Sith for power and the ability to force others to do their will. Some became Sith out of fear, fear that if they did not belong to the Sith and act as brutally as they could, that they would be one of the ones being brutilized. Those types turned her stomach; they were brutal because they thought that it would protect them from the brutality of their fellows. At least she could understand the ones who fell through hate.  
  
Finally when the class size was down to around 30% of its original size and the obvious undesirables were weeded out the psychotherapy began for all of them. Cait had to grin at the rest of her classmates when they complained about having to go over and over and over their relationships with their parents, siblings etc etc etc.  
  
She had felt sorry for herself that her memory never came back but in this case maybe it was a blessing. Her Twe'lik psychotherapist, Vaaya Maraa, had put her into deep memory regression hoping it would bring out some memories. The only thing that remained was the memory of being held when she was a child, by her mother they guessed. Cait suspected, her mother was dead and was sorry that she couldn't remember her mother's face. But she remembered being held, loved and comforted by her. There was a sense of peace about the memory and the strong sense of being safe and loved. It sustained Cait when she felt lost and alone, and she drew on the warmth of it to give herself strength when the training got difficult. Whenever she felt like she couldn't take another step, or when they were on night missions in the cold and wet that memory gave her the strength and courage to keep going.  
  
She always felt like her mother was still watching over her, the Jedi said that everyone continued to exist in the Force so maybe her mother was watching over her. She resolved to herself that wherever her mother was she would make sure she could be proud of her daughter.  
  
With the recommendation of Vaaya Maraa she added another training session to her daily routine. Musicianship and musical expression, where she decided to learn to play the mandovil. The instrument she was given was specialized and could be broken down into a very small unit for travel. It took forever to break down and put back together though. All of them were taking sessions in some type of art, whether it was music, drawing or sculpture. She now knew why there seemed to be so much art around the training complex. She proved to be rather good with the instrument and soon joined in with others of her training class to provide entertainment during the evenings.  
  
The psychotherapists also helped them deal with their reactions to the interrogations sessions, specific case studies showed exactly how most of the subjects had become the person they were. Cait didn't really like it but she begin to see how the people in front of her were broken human beings, in pain and anger and in most cases, unable to see what they had become.  
  
When she had to turn away during one of the interrogation holo's, the instructor had taken her to see her assigned therapist. Shuddering she explained what she had saw that caused her to feel such pity "she's torturing herself, with every evil act like she's slicing bits of herself away. She doesn't see it but she sees the distance that lies between her and us and she rages at us. I guess mostly because she can't see anyway to get back so she just continues on killing whatever is left of the humanity inside her. I guess eventually she will manage to destroy all of it unless she can be persuaded to stop."  
  
The twe'lik therapist Vaaya Maraa smiled at her and hugged her. "You have a compassionate soul Cait that is exactly what I see in many of them. Why do you think she is doing that?" Cait struggled to try and understand the motivations of the mad woman that they had been interrogating. "Maybe she thinks the pain will stop if she continues long enough, I guess it will, she will no longer be capable of caring about what she does. There will be a human body but no soul left."  
  
Vaaya said "Now a question for you.....", she paused and then continued. "Now that you have seen this do you think you can avoid doing the same thing to yourself?"  
  
Cait paused and gave the matter serious thought, "my weakness will be anger and hatred. People that I care about being hurt would be where my weakness lies. I might be tempted to return some of that pain like for like." "Is it worth the cost though to yourself, "asked Vaaya, "if you become that which you hate would you not also hurt the people you care about?"  
  
Cait quietly said "yes, I would hurt them if I became like that."  
  
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In some ways those sessions at least were easier than the ones where they dealt with my feelings for other women. Heh, sometimes it felt like everyone was out to get me laid, it was an odd situation to be in. Vaaya Maraa thought I needed to come to terms with my sexuality before it became a self-esteem issue. My squad mates were trying to be helpful and introduce me to nice similarly interested women. I was starting to feel very hounded indeed.  
  
Finally my squad mates bundled me off to the local hangout, promising they would 'protect' me from any unwanted advances. Of course the first woman that I showed the slightest interest in they insisted on almost shoving me in the woman's lap. My 'dear' friends seemed to think it highly hilarious that I caught myself in time to keep from falling on the petty brunette by stopping myself against the wall but in the process buried the woman's face in my chest.  
  
I apologized profusely to the woman blushing deeply, only to have her say "Oh don't apologize for that, it was certainly enjoyable for me. But I really feel we should introduce ourselves after such a meeting." The woman's grin was wicked and I flushed further as my squad mates hooted and called 'helpful' encouragements out. I was so pleased they were getting so much enjoyment out of this situation; I would definitely have to devise several ways of paying them back. Something slightly short of killing them ... maybe.  
  
"Names Maraya DeCalas, now who might you be beautiful?" I made the mistake of glancing down and noticed the dancing warmth of her grey eyes as she wrapped her arms around my waist and finished what my friends had started by pulling me down into her lap. I blushed again and shyly introduced myself "Cait McDonald" I looked up for my friends but they had all disappeared. Puzzled I looked around and Maraya said "Oh they left after some rather broad winks at me, I don't think I've ever had a woman literally thrown at me before it's a rather a nice experience."  
  
Somehow I managed to garble out something about they thought I should loosen up and ah accept who I was interested in. Maraya had been looking very amused through out my entire halting attempt but at the last she stilled. "You mean you've never been with a woman before? You are sure about being attracted to women?" she asked. Mutely I nodded twice my voice seemed to have completely deserted me. "Have you ever been with anyone?" she asked. I pondered this and said "I don't think so but I can't remember anything from before a year ago." Maraya raised her eyebrows and replied "well if you can't remember it then it counts as a no. Would you like to dance?" she finished asking. "Ah sure, yes" I stuttered more than a bit flustered.  
  
The dance Maraya was referring to was a slow one of course, and she would permit no space between the two of us. By the end of it I was sure this was some type of exquisite torture session, one designed to drive me crazy with longing for something. By the morning she had gently and quite thoroughly shown me what I had been longing for. Well I thought to myself quietly running a soothing hand along Maraya's bare back, no wonder the guys are always so intent on getting in a woman's pants. Maraya's dark hair hung in heavy bangs along side her face and the morning sunlight turned her body into a sculpture of golden lit highlights and shadows. Dreamily I watched my hand glide up and down watching the dust motes in the air dance and swirl.  
  
"If you don't do something other than run your hand along my back, I'm going to bite you I swear." I snapped out of my reverie and glanced into Maraya's eyes, and was caught by the arousal I saw there. Tentatively I touched her, employing my recently acquired knowledge. Soon all my doubts melted away and there was only the desire left to return the pleasure she had given me last night.  
  
"Some day I hope you have the same opportunity you just gave me, what a sweet mutual seduction that was," said Maraya much later. Puzzled I looked at her, she grinned at me and said "Oh yes, your shy looks your timid advances and retreats, were as intoxicating as anything I have ever experienced. I'm glad you gave in and let me seduce you or I would have been tied in knots of desire all day until I could persuade you to let me make love to you. Hmm, despoiler of fair maidens, has a nice ring to it would you said?" Maraya finished with a devilish grin.  
  
Caught by the sense of bubbly laughter inside of her and the lighthearted irreverence of her I had to laugh, amazed at my own daring I said in a mock haughty tone "Well I don't know that I feel quite despoiled enough to grant you that title yet!" She blinked and started laughing, "Oh a challenge, shall I win the coveted title or no?"  
  
We did stop for meals, and she did win her title and I knew the guys were not going to let it go that I had disappeared for and entire weekend with the first woman I had meet, but I didn't really care there was a lot of laughter, a lot of closeness and sharing and at the end of it we parted. She was a fighter pilot and I was due to graduate in a month from combat ops training. Neither of us knew where we would be posted next. In her case death was a constant companion; it would be my companion as well when I graduated.  
  
I'll never forget her last words to me "don't break hearts if you can possibly avoid it, that's unkind. But take what bits of life you can when you can, you never know when your numbers going to be up. Maybe if we win this war we can think of futures, but for now you can honestly only promise today. Take care of yourself Cait McDonald." With that she gave me one last kiss and left to get ready for her combat mission.  
  
I knew what was in store for me as I entered the squad's barracks, but I just sighed and resigned myself to accepting it. Heh, I was really too contented and well, drained to really care, it had been an extremely physically demanding weekend, hadn't I read somewhere that you used up more calories in that activity than in another? That would account for how drained I felt, I just wanted a shower and some actual sleep.  
  
The guys in the squad reacted as expected with ribald comments but I sensed that they were happy for me. I remarked that they were just jealous and they had to laughingly agree. Ricco was teasing me about looking like the cat that had gotten the cream and the bird when the DI walked in. We all snapped to and waited for the briefing for tomorrow. DI Johnson glanced around and then looked at me and grinned and said "well its about damn time McDonald you took long enough to get that dealt with, go see your psyc evaluator so we can get that marked off. Ok ladies and gentlemen with that I suspect all of you will pass on to the next phase of your training. I was thinking McDonald would have to be held back but I suspect now she will be passed on with the rest of you. And don't stand over there blushing McDonald there is exactly nothing to be embarrassed about." He stared hard at me and I snapped out a "Yes, Sir" Oddly enough it did help, though I began to wonder if I now had a 'no longer a virgin' tattooed into my forehead.  
  
When he left I stared at the guys and said "I was about to be held back, did you know?" They all nodded seriously. Ricco said "We were getting pretty desperate there Cait we didn't want to leave you behind, but boy were you stubborn. I guess we had better come clean, Maraya wasn't exactly a chance meeting we were pretty sure you would be attracted to her and we arranged the entire thing with her beforehand. You aren't gonna be sore with us for setting you up are you?" he asked and looked sheepish and pleading. "We really wanted to have you with us at graduation."  
  
I stood stunned and tried to decide if I was 'sore' at them or not. The entire thing had been carefully planned, I felt like a fool but then realized how silly I was being, they had really gone to extreme measures to make sure that I hadn't gotten myself held back because of a psyc evaluation.  
  
"I didn't realize it was so important, that they would hold me back if I couldn't deal with being a lesbian." They all smiled at me and cheered. I was flustered, then realized it was the first time I had said the word instead of dancing all around the subject. Their acceptance of me was warming and I gave them each a fierce hug and then reported as ordered to my therapist.  
  
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The interview with Vaaya Maraa was short; I ended my commentary with a statement that seemed to please her. "I feel comfortable in my own skin" I had said and she had smiled at me.  
  
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The next morning brought security briefings, reminders that all of our training was considered classified and under no circumstances were we to discuss it outside of the compound. We all stared at each other afterward and wondered what was about to happen next.  
  
Classes were next, extensive lectures about how our metabolisms worked, they separated us by species and we received extensive training on exactly how our bodies reacted under stress. For those of us who were human we discussed mostly the effects of adrenal hormones. We learned their affects and the emotions people experienced when they were under their effect.  
  
Effects included increased heart rate and pressure, greater airflow thought the lungs, break down of the body's fuel storage into sugars for use by the muscles; an increased metabolic rate for quicker muscle reactions, dilation of he pupils for better low light vision.  
  
Most of us when exposed to these chemicals would experience strong emotions, such as anger or fear that was due to how our brains would process the bodily changes and assign a recognized emotional state to them.  
  
After two days of classroom training we were taken to a new and different training room, it was more than a bit unsettling to note that the room was padded and that there were two guys wearing armor and holding stun batons. They were introduced to us as our "safeties".  
  
We would learn how to handle ourselves under the effects of strong adrenal stimulants, too many people using them for the first time had went berserk and attacked everyone, enemy and friend alike. So, now anyone using the more powerful battle stimulants had to be trained how to react while under their influence. The two men were literally safeties; they would make sure we didn't hurt ourselves or others. With our unarmed combat training the stun batons were a necessity as was the armor they were wearing.  
  
To my shame my first experience with the battle stimulants ended with me down on the mat stunned. The amount of anger I had felt frightened me. The only consolation was that I was not the only one to end up stunned on the mat. Needless to say we all went back to our daily therapy routines. It was hard for me; Vaaya finally resorted to hypno-therapy to get me to quit attempting to deal with my emotions by attempting an iron control of them, which was failing quite abysmally. I responded well to the therapy and finally realized she was right, my emotions didn't have to be controlled at all. I just had to control my responses to them.  
  
I could let the fear and anger storm and rage as much as it wanted to and remain calm in the center of it unaffected by my body's attempts to get me to react as it thought I should. I knew there was no danger so I didn't need to react. Somehow it seemed to be a turning point for me, as soon as I was able to stop reacting to my emotions they seemed to loose their intensity and it was easier to remain calm under the effects of the adrenals.  
  
Those that couldn't keep control while on the stimulants had their training ended and they were reassigned.  
  
As soon as those of us who remained achieved mastery of dealing with our emotions while not under combat conditions we moved to the next stage, managing to maintain the same level of control while we were in combat conditions. Those of us who remained were all very determined to make it through the final stages of training. But dealing with the adrenals while we were in danger was a challenge.  
  
My squad had managed to stick together through ought all of the training, all of us supporting each other through. We learned that we could depend on each other to pull us through when we were weak and lend our strength when one of us was faltering. Together we learned what our instructors wanted us to see, that we fought better when our minds were clear of anger or hate. We made better decisions all the way around and we made it through the training missions with fewer 'causalities'. It didn't take long for us to decide that giving into the hate and fear impulses made for a poor survival chance, and calm and rational thinking made for a much better survival chance.  
  
At some point after this realization it became a lot easier for all of us to ignore the impulses our minds gibbered at us while under the adrenals, we recognized that our bodies knew we were in danger of dying, and our instincts were designed to get us out of danger. It was natural, and there was nothing wrong with it. But we were sentient beings not animals, and we had the choice of how we would act instead of letting ourselves be ruled by instinct. We were soldiers and we voluntarily went into danger, instinct would be accepted, but not acted upon and we would go about our mission with clear minds. It was the best chance we could give ourselves of coming back alive.  
  
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Two months remained of training; we had a security briefing in an hour, all of us wondered what was the next thing that to be revealed. They had told us that a choice would be presented to us, if we choose not to accept it we would be given a chemical injection that caused short term memory loss and we would be accepted immediately into the regular Covert Ops forces. Those that refused the choice would believe that they had finished the training, and some of us had gone on for further training in our technical specialties.  
  
The next hour we went into the briefing room, some of us agreed to the procedure that was outlined to us. Some of us for personal or religious reasons could not agree. They left in the care of the psyc techs, their memories of the briefing to be erased.  
  
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My squad and I filed into our barracks to begin packing; we would be moved to another facility to complete the final two months of training. All of us were thinking about what we had learned but we remained silent. We were not permitted to speak of anything that we had been told.  
  
I wasn't sure why the extreme secrecy surrounding what we had been told. I understood that many people had religious issues with what they were proposing, that might have something to do with it, and the Sith might be very interested in getting their hands on some of the new implants we were going to be receiving. All in all maybe it was a good idea we were being closed mouthed, it was probably mostly to protect us from the attentions of the enemy and the notice of some of the more conservative religious groups.  
  
The next two months would be filled with three separate surgeries, rehabilitation and physical training to make sure the implants were accepted and we were completely adapted to them. I would be receiving some really useful implants. One to assist me with remembering schematics, diagrams and computer languages for my computer slicing, repair and security skills, I was excited about that one since I had never like rote memorization anyway.  
  
The second implant would help me with my general dexterity and fine muscle control. The third implant was the one of the two highly secret newly developed ones; it would be placed in my chest cavity and would be able to synthesize a dose every hour of a new hyper battle stimulant. The new adrenal cocktail wouldn't be much different from the old but it should be gentler on our bodies, we would never run out of stimulant injections, never have to pause to inject ourselves, the battle advantage was obvious.  
  
The last implant was the other of the highly secret newly developed implants, we were guinea pigs for it, but held too much promise to refuse receiving it. It was the new Navardan Regenerator implant, which would assist our bodies with healing and recuperation. That one implant by itself was worth a lot, it meant that we could survive injuries and wounds that would otherwise kill us.  
  
And of course there was the one final trick; they would teach us a way to overload all the implants. This would result in severe convulsions and immediate death. It was a frightening ability, but we all knew that anyone would eventually break under torture. If we were ever faced with that breaking point we had the freedom to choose death rather than betray the Republic and ourselves. Sometimes life could be much worth than death I thought, and was oddly reassured by the fact that I would be able to make that final choice.  
  
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I thought about tomorrow, while I picked up my dress uniform and made sure everything was perfectly in place on it. Tomorrow we would be graduating; my squad had amazingly made it through intact. Tomorrow we would also be promoted, no long Ensigns we would all be Junior Grade Lieutenants.  
  
I thought about the year I had gone through and recognized with astonishment how different a person I was from the inexperienced woman who had entered training. It was not just the new abilities that came along with the implants but my whole outlook on life had changed. I felt old in some ways, all the interrogation sessions, all the heart and soul searching that had been necessary, the changes I had to make to deal with the stimulants. All of it had changed me.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
The Jedi had been concerned when Cait McDonald had started Covert Ops training; it had been an unexpected development. They kept as close an eye on her as possible, but it was difficult, for they didn't dare let the military realize they were interested in one particular recruit. They were able to find out about the unusual training the Covert Ops people were undergoing psychologically and were concerned about Cait being exposed to Sith, but the further she went in her training the more they realized that perhaps everything had turned out for the best.  
  
Cait passed all the psychological testing the military could devise to make sure that only stable well adjusted trainees received the most advanced combat training. Then she dropped off the face of the earth as far as all records were concerned, all they could find out was that she was undergoing some type of advanced training that had the highest classification possible wrapped around it. Two months later she showed up again. She had been promoted to Lt. Jg and was a member of some type of specialist Covert Ops unit.  
  
They decided to wait till she was assigned a unit and then send out a Jedi to make sure that all was still well with Cait McDonald, after all they still considered themselves responsible for her well being. Jedi Master Zhar came to Coruscant for a visit during which he was given an official tour of the base after expressing an interest in the Covert Ops training.  
  
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"Dog and Pony show" I thought as they continued to show the Jedi Master around. My thoughts wandered to my plans for tonight, the tattoo artist was done with his concept work and was now ready to do the tattoo's we had commissioned for our squad. Crimson Panthers was the informal unit ID we had chosen, and we were all going to get tattoos of the Correlian Crimson Sand Panther over the next couple of nights. I was taking first turn and I wondered if I had made the correct choice in a full back tattoo, it would be expensive to get removed if I ever wanted to get rid of it.  
  
We weren't supposed to get tattoos of course, as it made us more identifiable, but the Fleet turned a blind eye to the practice, quietly acknowledging it as a sign of unit cohesion. Anyway if we ever got caught it not like we can pass ourselves off as some type of local, I thought, not with all the hardware we are carrying inside us.  
  
I would soon be off duty; I sighed quietly and tried to look politely interested in the discussion. I couldn't wait to be officially assigned to a Covert Ops unit; right now I was in limbo and thus attached for administrative purposes to the HQ unit. But later this week that would all change and I would finally get a chance to prove myself.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
He almost didn't recognize Cait McDonald she was so changed, she felt different and looked different. It was the way she moved now; very formal and erect in her bearing, very precise. She was perfectly military he realized, of course, he thought that makes sense, all she knows is being a soldier.  
  
She was much more muscular than he could remember her ever being, yet despite the muscularity she moved gracefully. Physically and mentally she was very different, not only from what he remembered of Revan, but from the person they had inserted into the refugee camp. He extended his force sensitivity; there was no sense that her memories had returned no recognition of him at all.  
  
There was something else though, and it startled him. She had a weak connection to the force, she could not touch it but it probably gave her an edge that others didn't have in awareness of the world around her. The amount of force sensitivity was small but it surprised him that it had come back at all; this development would have to be watched closely. If she developed any more force sensitivity they would have to consider what action to take. And he had not the slightest idea what that course should be.  
  
When she was introduced as one of the recent top graduates from the Covert Ops training program she smiled politely at him and said "Pleased to meet you, sir." He could feel that she was annoyed at being shown off like this. Behind the public effort to seem polite and interested, her mind was else where thinking of other things. Beyond the vague annoyance, there was a calm thoughtfulness that surprised him. Calm and thoughtful had never really characterized Revan at all. But then this was not Revan in front of him, there was no escaping fact that the person in front of him had become her own self.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Four months later I was over the need to prove myself, I had done well and had even been awarded a few medals for some of the missions.  
  
The current mission however, had turned sour quickly. Ricco had been detected and captured during the infiltration and they were currently torturing him in an attempt to extract information on where the rest of the unit was. We had changed radio frequencies to avoid being detected from his combat suit but we were all sickly aware of what the Sith were probably doing to Ricco at this moment.  
  
We were hiding in an empty room inside the base, while I was carefully breaking into the Sith security monitoring system in the hope that we could determine where Ricco was being held, if he was still alive, and whether or not it was possible to rescue him. I kept chanting to myself "hold on Ricco, hold on we haven't deserted you we are gonna get you out of this, and don't you dare use the implants to kill yourself before we can rescue you." I felt a bit odd as if I was actually able to reach out to Ricco and let him know we they were going to rescue him.  
  
Finally, there it was, I was in. I started through the through the security camera feeds one by one till I found Ricco. There were three people in the room. A technician who was applying the electrical shocks they were using to torture the Ricco. The other two were a Sith soldier and a Sith intelligence officer from his uniform markings. The technician had a blank look on his face as he kept applying the shocks as ordered by the intelligence officer.  
  
The Sith, predictably were enjoying the entire thing, they seemed to get as much amusement from torturing Ricco as they did in watching the technician. Something odd was going on there I thought, sick in my heart as I watched the Sith finally give up on the electrical device and move on to raw brute force.  
  
I closed my eyes unable to watch and tried to tell Ricco to pass out, to faint anything to get the beating to stop for awhile. I forced my eyes open and looked again and sagged in relief, Ricco had passed out and the Sith trooper with one last punch left him hanging in his bonds. Ricco looked horrible, they had beaten him severely, the technician made a move toward him but the Sith officer said something that caused the man to flinch and follow them out of the room. I looked closely to make sure Ricco was still breathing and was grateful that we all had the regeneration implant, he would probably make it out of this ok if we could rescue him before he was hurt anymore.  
  
I scrolled through the rest of the cameras and was puzzled by what I saw. They were keeping women and children penned up in one of the storage areas. I quickly ran through what I knew of the situation on this planet and decided that these were probably hostages for the good behavior of the technicians that were running the base. We had wondered why the technicians had stayed to work for the Sith, now I knew.  
  
Damned Sith, I thought as I realized what they had been doing to the technician by forcing him to participate in torturing Ricco. Black hatred of what the Sith were doing to the technicians and their families washed over me, it was an abomination to use their love for one another to force them to serve the Sith. But very Sith like I had to admit, they enjoyed things like that, and remembered the look of pleasure on the Sith intelligence officers face. Thoughts of beating that face in hazed in front of my eyes.  
  
In my mind I heard Vaaya asking me "and if you become that which you hate?" Suddenly I realized how dangerous my thought had become, and finished the statement to myself "I will hurt those that care for me."  
  
I will not become a brute like they are I thought, I will not let my hate cause me to act in any way that I will be ashamed of later, if I do I will have betrayed myself.  
  
I ran through the rest of the cameras and an idea began to form, we could rescue Ricco, and continue on with the mission to obtain information from the base computers. We could also rescue the hostages, and get the technicians away from the base. If we could do all of that it would put a big dent in the Sith occupation of this planet.  
  
I started to look for a way to make it work and I thought I saw one. I turned back to my squad and went over my improvised battle plan. Would it work I asked them? We all saw how risky it was but if it worked we had the possibility of pulling off a major operation against the Sith in this sector. Everyone nodded to me, the plan was a go.  
  
I turned back to the security console I had sliced and began to turn off the security systems. The Sith placed an over reliance on their droids, and if I could disable those most of their defenses would be gone. I made one final change in the droid commands. That should do it I thought, and went back through the operations to get to the cameras and verify that the security droids had been decommissioned, they were.  
  
I signaled the squad to move out; we only had so long before someone noticed the droids were not working.  
  
We paused; the next room from my camera reconnaissance earlier was occupied by several Sith troopers. We all tensed our muscles in the sequence that would release the battle stims from our implants and then stormed the room. The Sith troopers were cleaning their blaster pistols and rifles and barely had time to realize what was happening before we closed to close quarters and used our vibro short swords to good effect. Only a few rounds were even fired by the Sith, it had been almost a perfectly quiet operation. I quickly hacked into the terminal in the room and double checked the remaining guards; thankfully the few shots seemed to have gone unnoticed. This had been the major concentration of Sith personnel and the group I had been most concerned about when making my plans.  
  
Pausing only briefly to regroup we moved out to clear the next area, this one would be a bit difficult, we would attempt to capture the Sith intelligence officer alive for Republic questioning. The stims were still in effect and we took advantage of the time we had left, quickly we entered the room in a rush, Deutery, John and Maphit took out the two troopers with quick efficiency while Robert Dusty and I took down the intelligence officer and administered the tranquilizing drug. Looking at the man I realized that he was not the officer I saw torturing Ricco. That meant there was a second intelligence officer still around unaccounted for.  
  
We left the officer there while we went to secure the rest of the area. There were only ten Sith personnel left that I knew of and we would need to be quick about taking them down before any alarm could be raised. The good news was they were in separate areas and some of them could be taken out using the silenced sniper rifles we carried with us.  
  
We moved through the rest of the base efficiently, the only injury was Robert who caught a blaster bolt mid section as he rushed one of the Sith troupers. His armor protected him but he needed to rest and allow the implant to repair the damage that had been done through the armor. We left him to rest in a protected position and moved onward to clear the last area. This was the trickiest part; we needed to take out the guards on the prisoners without any of them being hurt.  
  
Silently, we moved into position, it would take precision work to storm the room and snap off sniper shots as quickly as possible. Hopefully none of the prisoners would be hurt. We tapped our supply of stims once more and then paused a moment to calm ourselves, these would need to be exact shots. I looked at each of them and waited, they nodded their readiness. I signaled go and we burst into the area quickly separating and firing on separate targets.  
  
Movement, I focused trying to pick out whether or not it was another trooper or one of the prisoners. It was too dark to tell and I didn't want to risk accidentally firing on one of the prisoners. All the targets were down but I still didn't know what the movement I had seen was on the partial second floor balcony. I caught the eye of each of my squad mates and signaled in combat sign, 'see?' and pointed to the balcony. I saw their eyes move upward and a negative shake from all of them. Damn.  
  
I scanned the upper balcony but could see nothing, taking a chance I moved to cover beneath it, moving quickly through all the prisoners who where huddled on the floor. "Down, stay down!" I heard Dusty yell behind me and blessed him for his quick thinking. The last thing we needed was the women and children milling around before we knew the situation was secure. I glanced at the floor above me and noticed that there was a gap along the back wall between the upper balcony and the wall. It looked just thick enough for me to squeeze through even in my combat armor. I took out a line pistol and looked for a good place to hook an anchor. Some pipes in the roof caught my eye and I fired the silenced weapon. A line whipped up and attached itself to the pipes adhering to its own self and forming a solid rope for me to use. I engaged the pistol in rappel mode and let it pull me up. Slowing as I reached the top I cautiously raised myself above the floor of the upper balcony. It wouldn't do for me to get my head blown off as I got up there after all. I quickly spotted the source of the movement I had seen, the intelligence officer who had been in the interrogation room. And he had one of the children, a young girl as a hostage.  
  
He yelled down that he would kill the girl if they didn't let him leave, but I noticed a panel on the wall that he was moving towards. The bastard, if he reached that he could call down reinforcements from the city on them. There is a way to move silently in Covert Ops combat armor, but it takes a lot of dexterity to move both silently and quickly in it. Fortunately I had excellent dexterity thanks to my implant and I was able to cross the distance between me and the back of the officer in a few seconds. I paused a moment thinking of what to do, finally I grabbed his knife in one hand removing it from threatening the girl as I injected a tranquilizer into the man with my other hand. I didn't need to kill him, and if I had I knew it would be a reaction to what he had done to Ricco, besides he might have useful information.  
  
"Clear," I yelled down, "Dusty, Deutery, and John go secure Ricco." "Maphit with me, we need to find the technicians." I turned and said to the frozen girl, "its ok we are Republic soldiers and we are here to help you." The girls face crumpled and she began crying, there was a woman coming up the stairs crying out "Mary!" and the girl ran to her.  
  
"Pardon me madam but I need to get by you to find the technicians" I said politely to the woman. The woman stared at me for a second and then moved away from the stairs with her daughter and I bounded down them meeting up with Maphit. "They should be held to the southeast if I'm correct about the base layout." We moved out and headed southeast; at the end of the hallway we surprised a single guard, quickly dispatched him and opened the door he had been guarding. Within were the technicians I had expected.  
  
"Republic Army here to free you, we have already secured the women and children and we need to get you out of this base quickly." I said quickly to the startled men then jumped out of the way as they ran to find their wives and children. One man did not move however, and I recognized him. He had this look of dread on his face as if he expected us to kill him. I went over and said "Don't you have a spouse to find?" He nodded shaking and I said as I pulled him up "then let's go find her."  
  
"I ..I "he started and then started shaking. I sighed and said "I know, I watched the interrogation through the security system." The man started violently "You don't need to fear reprisal from us, we aren't Sith, we are Republic soldiers and we don't do that. Now let's go and find your wife."  
  
Maphit inclined his head curiously toward me, and I said through the headset, "The Sith found it amusing to make him participate in Ricco's torture session, you know how they like to break down people." I could see his mouth twist in revulsion through his faceplate and he nodded.  
  
We led the technician back to where the hostages were and to my surprise the woman and girl I have saved came running toward him. "Henry" the woman cried and hugged him. Hesitantly he returned the embrace and started to weep. She looked at me accusingly but Henry said "No it's not their fault they have been very kind considering the terrible things I did to their friend." I shook my head at him and corrected "The things the Sith forced you to do, I'm sure you would have never done something like that of your own free will."  
  
Over the general din I shouted "Ok we need to get some information from the Sith computers, I don't suppose any of you have the passcodes?" Henry looked up and said "I have those I can get into most of the computer functions, I programmed the base computer initially and I never gave them all the codes into it. I just acted like another programmer. There is one more thing, one thing I complained about because it was a safety problem but I know how to get the base reactor core to explode. We would only have 30 min to get safely away from the area though once I started the sequence."  
  
Maphit and I stared at him and then I started to chuckle "Oh that would be very nice" I said. "Lets get the information we need first, get everyone ready to get out of here and then start that reactor sequence."  
  
I turned and saw Dusty, Deurty and John come in supporting a weakly grinning Ricco. "Hey Cait" he said through his split lip. "I swear I could hear you talking to me that you were gonna come and get me and for me not to do anything stupid." I went over and hugged him gently and said "Yea, just shows you how well you know me, that's exactly what I was thinking. I'm damn glad you decided to listen to me for once" and I grinned up at him "Lets get some healing kits in you and get out of this place."  
  
We recovered the two intelligence officers and gave them a second tranquilizer dose and restrained them. I had a moment with Henry where he wanted to kill the one intelligence officer but managed to get him to see that he didn't want to become as brutal as they were. Thanks to Henry's passwords we got all the information we came for and more. We cleared the base with all the technicians and their dependents and began the sequence in the computer that would cause the base reactor to overload and explode.  
  
I took advantage of the confusion I knew the explosion would cause to call up support and see if they could send extra transports for all the technicians, their wives and children. Luckily, there were free transport ships nearby and everyone was rescued. 


	3. Aboard the Endar Spire

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own.   
  
Aboard the Endar Spire  
  
We had a few free weeks after that mission, and then I got unwelcome news. I was getting a TDA (Temporary Duty Assignment) for the next few months attached to Jedi Bastila Shan's command aboard the Endar Spire. My teammates were being sent to various training opportunities during the same time period and we would be assigned our next mission after all of our TDA's had been completed.  
  
I was told that I had been picked due to my language and combat skills. I was to be a translator and if the need arose I was to employ my special training to protect her. I was reminded to not mention the details of any of my assignments. "The records that are being sent to the Endar Spire will contain only the necessary information Lt." my Commander said, "keep that in mind during this mission."  
  
Jedi Shan had some special Jedi skill called Battle Meditation that allowed her to affect the outcome of entire engagements. I wasn't enthused about the honor but I nodded to my Commander and said "I will endeavor to fulfill both duties to the best of my abilities, Sir." He dismissed me saying that I was expected to report into the Endar Spire in the next 48 hours so I needed to get moving.  
  
I packed, hugged all my squad mates and promised them I would be back as soon as I got through the mission I had just been assigned.  
  
I reported to the duty officer of the Endar Spire the next day and was assigned a bunk in the junior officer's quarters. The ship would be underway this evening and I was not expected to formally report until later in the week.  
  
I decided to check out the essential parts of the ship, the mess, the recreational area and the exercise facilities. The mess was acceptable, the recreational area was comfortable looking and had a few people sitting and chatting, and I smiled to a few and continued my exploration of the ship. I finally found the exercise facilities and looked around pleasantly surprised. I could tell that I would be able to keep my fitness level up. I noticed an older woman in a brown robe looking at me from across the room; I glanced at her trying to figure out why she was staring at me. I was puzzled by the non-military clothing until I realized she must be one of the Jedi. I nodded to her respectfully and decided to head back to my room for to change into some workout clothing.  
  
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Jedi Knight Maria had known of course that she might see Cait McDonald before any formal meeting still it startled her to see the woman in the exercise room. Master Zhar had been right to worry, she noticed looking closely Cait, she was showing signs of force sensitivity and it wasn't slight as he had said, it was very noticeable. Cait noticed her, but there was no recognition in her eyes. She just nodded to the Jedi Knight and left, her surface thoughts indicated that she intended to come back to work out.  
  
Jedi Knight Maria went to the Jedi quarters and found the others there, "well I just saw Cait, if I understood Master Zhar correctly when he described her level of force sensitivity then we definitely have a potential problem. She's clearly force sensitive now which means she's growing in force powers at a rapid rate" she said to them.  
  
Padawan Bastila said "then it's good that we were able to get her assigned to us, did you sense anything from her about her nature?"  
  
Jedi Knight Maria replied "I sensed no taint of the dark side at all. She's very different though, I understand now what Master Zhar was saying when he said that she is now Cait McDonald. She looks different, and she doesn't feel at all the same, she has a calm self-assuredness, it's not at all like what I expected." She paused then said "She is her own unique self."  
  
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The bed jolted, and I started awake, huh I thought. Then I realized the entire ship was jolting and the alarm klaxons began to wail. I jumped out of bed and was grabbing my gear when Ensign Trask came in.  
  
He filled me in on the situation, we were being attacked by a Sith battle fleet which had ambushed us as we came out of hyperspace above Taris. I was putting on my gear as he did so and cursing to myself about having no armor. Oh well perhaps there would be the opportunity to grab some.  
  
He said something about Bastila and I said "Bastila?" He babbled on for a minute about my training and how I had swore to defend her then finally said something coherent about going to find Bastila to protect her.  
  
I wondered exactly what had been sent about my training to have him going on about a promising recruit; I hadn't been a recruit for over a year. At least the elite combat training was correct. Obviously someone had interpreted the 'delete classified training' literally and had deleted almost all of my training and then sent what was left, which would be my basic and officer training. No wonder he had the idea I was a fresh recruit. Now wasn't the time to correct him though, so I merely nodded and went over to the doors.  
  
He said they were locked down but he had the codes, impatient I motioned him toward the door so he could unlock it. The young ensign was obviously nervous which would account for his volubility. We fought our way up toward the bridge and I managed to grab a set of basic combat armor on the way as well as a few med paks. The stims I divided between us, hiding the fact that I retained only a few. He might get curious as to why I would give them all to him. They were only basic stims, not at all of the strength or duration that I was used to being under.  
  
He seemed to finally have noticed that I outranked him and let me take the lead. Though honestly I wasn't sure if I wanted to be in front of the young man, he seemed a bit jumpy, I kept expecting him to shoot me by mistake but he settled down and his fire was reasonably accurate.  
  
I opened one of the doors to see one of the Jedi and what I guessed was a Sith Jedi fighting, the Jedi was more than holding her own and quickly dispatched him. As she turned toward us the power conduit behind her blew and she fell forward. I had been running to assist when the conduit blew and my reflex's took over and I dived to the avoiding the sharp shards of metal. She however, had been standing directly in front of the conduit, and when I got to her was already dead. Damn, I thought and closed the staring eyes. What was that the Jedi believed, they became one with the force? I hoped it was true for her and I realized she was the woman I had meet and nodded to in the exercise room. I got up and gave her body a respectful salute with my sword and we continued on toward the bridge.  
  
We stormed the bridge taking out the few Sith troopers that were there, it was in disarray, with electrical fires everywhere. Two Republic fighters had been on the bridge when we entered but when I looked again I saw that both they and their attackers had perished while Trask and I fought.  
  
Trask said "Bastila's not here on the bridge they must have retreated to the escape pods! We better head that way too. The Sith want Bastila alive but once she's off the ship there's nothing stopping them from blasting the Endar Spire into galactic dust!"  
  
The man had such a way with words but his supposition that Bastila had already used an escape pod was probably accurate and I didn't want to be galactic dust any more than he did.  
  
We entered the passage leading to the bridge escape pods and I paused, Trask had already used a few of the med paks I had scavenged on the way to the bridge. He apparently hadn't noticed that I hadn't required any yet.  
  
I was opening a bin of medical supplies and had leaned in to grab more med paks, when he rushed to the next door and said "There's something behind here," before I could order him to stop he opened the door. There was one of the dark Jedi there and the Ensign Trask rushed him saying "Damn dark Jedi, Ill try and hold him off, you get to the escape pod! Go!" I was almost to the door when explosions shook the room he had ran into and the door closed and jammed.  
  
Stupid foolish brave man I thought and shook my head, if he had only waited the two of us might have been able to taken the dark Jedi down. Maybe we could or maybe not, but certainly a better chance than him alone. He had sacrificed himself, and I decided that I would not squander his choice away. I decided to make for the starboard escape pods.  
  
A voice crackled over my personal communicator "This is Carth Onasi on your personal communicator. I'm tracking your position through the Endar Spires life support systems. Bastila's escape pod is away, you're the last surviving crew member of the Endar Spire! I can't wait for you much longer; you have to get to the escape pods."  
  
What was with this crew, they had a wonderful ability to state the obvious, as if I had been strolling about the ship, not trying to get to the escape pods. I was almost to the escape pods when I changed my mind about the unknown Carth Onasi.  
  
"Be careful!" he said and I froze halting my motion to open the door in front of me. "There's a whole squad of Sith Troopers on the other side of that door!" I looked around me for inspiration and saw the security console, now if I could only find some security spikes I thought. Carth said over my communicator "Maybe you can use the computer spikes in the footlocker to slice the terminal or use repair parts to fix that droid." Ah, useful information I thought and went over to the footlocker in the room and grabbed the security spikes out.  
  
Carth started to helpfully step me through how to slice the terminal but then faltered as it became clear that I was already in the terminal. I was definitely going to have to speak with the clerks back at command about what they had done to my records I thought, as I viewed the room through the security camera and saw a small Sith squad in the room. Carth was right that would have been and iffy situation to step into. I wasn't going to say I couldn't have managed to take all of them out, but without my battle armor I wasn't feeling like being suicidal.  
  
I saw the power conduit he had mentioned and set the overload to building. It wasn't the fairest way to fight, but four against one wasn't good odds either. I switched out of camera mode as soon as it blew and I saw the power lightening snake across the room. I had no desire to watch the deaths I had just set in motion. I grimaced to myself and waited the few moments until it would be safe to enter the room. They were all dead of course; I paused by the one in red armor and noticed the vibro blade that had fallen from his hand. It looked well constructed, there was something different about it so I decided to pick it up and take it with me.  
  
A man in a republic uniform, Carth Onasi I presumed, was in the escape pod section. He said "You made it just in time! There's one active escape pod left. Come on we can hide on the planet below."  
  
We entered the escape pod and strapped ourselves in. Carth pulled the release and we dropped suddenly weightless, the pod jounced and vibrated as we entered the atmosphere then there was a violent jolt and I blacked out. 


	4. Taris  Upper City

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own.   
  
Taris – Upper City  
  
I saw a beautiful woman, fierce and bright, she was fighting a dark Jedi her movements sure and swift as they fought. I could hear the hum and snap of the lightsabers. I gazed at her face; my eyes dwelled on her dark eyes, the tendrils of dark brown hair that escaped the elaborate braids she wore. The dark Jedi fell and the woman looked up a challenge in her eyes. Was she looking at me? At something past me? The dream faded and I woke to unfamiliar surroundings. I was lying on a bed in an apartment. I felt like I had been used for a punching bag, I must have been pretty beat up if I'm still this sore I thought, and I had a pounding headache.  
  
A voice said "Good to see you up instead of thrashing around, I was starting to wonder if you would ever wake up. I'm Carth, one of the Republic soldiers from the Endar Spire, I was on the escape pod with you do you remember?" He looked concerned and anxious.  
  
I focused on the speaker and recognized him; "Right" I answered "I'm Catherine or Cait McDonald. How did we get here?" I carefully felt over my head, it was tender in spots. That would account for my dazed feeling. Once again the regeneration implant had probably saved my life. I don't think Onasi expected me up this soon if at all judging from what he's saying and the looks I'm getting from him.  
  
Carth said "Well you've been slipping in and out of consciousness for over a day now. We're safe... at least for the moment. We're in an abandoned apartment on the planet of Taris. You were banged up pretty bad when the pod crashed. But luckily I wasn't seriously hurt. I was able to drag you away from our crash site in all the confusion and I stumbled onto this abandoned apartment. By the time the Sith had arrived on the scene we were long gone."  
  
I nodded and said "I guess I owe you my life, thanks"  
  
Carth replied curtly "You don't have to thank me. I've never abandoned anyone on a mission and I'm not about to start now. Besides I'm going to need your help." He began to fill me in on the situation we were in. Taris was an occupied planet under martial law and quarantine. He mentioned that for a raw recruit I knew a lot of languages but that would probably prove to be very handy in this situation.  
  
I sighed to myself, those darn records again. Carth finished "There's no way the Republic will be able to get anyone through the Sith blockade to help us. If we're going to find Bastila and get off this planet, we can't rely on anybody but ourselves."  
  
I said "Jedi Bastila, the mission commander from the Endar Spire. I never had a chance to meet her."  
  
Carth nodded "Bastila is the key to the whole Republic war effort. The Sith must have found out she was on the Endar Spire and set an ambush for us in this system. I believe Bastila was on one of the escape pods that crashed here on Taris. For the sake of the Republic war effort we have to find her."  
  
I asked, "Any idea where we should start looking?" Carth said "While you were out I did some scouting around. There are reports of a couple of escape pods crashing down in the Undercity. That's probably a good place to start. But the Undercity is a dangerous place. We don't want to go in there unprepared. It won't do Bastila any good if we go in and get ourselves killed."  
  
I chuckled and said "I couldn't agree with you more on that point." I paused and finally asked "about my service records what exactly was in them, I'm starting to suspect there has been a clerical error from what you are saying. For one thing I'm hardly a raw recruit."  
  
He looked at me and said "You aren't right out of officer basic training and the two month advanced officer combat training?." He said it like I was only confirming something he already knew.  
  
I sighed and shook my head, "No I graduated from officer basic school almost two years ago. Didn't they give any dates?" He shook his head "No, your service records were pretty spotty. They included your basic and officer training, a comment about some advanced combat training which we assumed was the usual officer combat training that everyone takes, and your marks, but no dates or anything. We were going to ask for more information but never had time to."  
  
I sighed and thought about how to proceed without giving away too much information. I know my commander had never thought I would find myself in this situation. If I withheld the fact that I was covert ops I would be hobbling Onasi who would be operating under an incorrect idea of my abilities.  
  
I finally said, "Well, this places me in an awkward position. I'm not sure how much to tell you of my training since so much of it is classified, which is why the service records you got were ah... so interesting. I'm under orders to not give out details but I can let you know that I'm two years out of officer training. After officer basic I went into covert ops training and I graduated from that half a year ago. Other than that there really isn't any more I can tell you. Sorry, but orders are orders. I'm bending them to tell you this much."  
  
He stared at me and said "That explains the tattoo on your back it's your unit symbol isn't it? I thought it was pretty odd for a raw recruit to have a tattoo with the motto "Death comes on silent feet." I colored realizing that he must have undressed me while I was unconscious, but then I thought that he had probably been trying to find out how badly wounded I was and administering medical care, exactly as I would have done if our positions had been reversed.  
  
"Yes it's my unit's symbol, how badly hurt was I anyway? I've got a huge lump on my head and a blinding headache. And I'm sore all over."  
  
He looked concerned and said "Honestly I don't know how you're up and moving, I was really worried given the extent of your injuries whether or not you were going to make it. You're pretty tough, I thought maybe you were a weight lifter or something, but Covert Ops, that explains a lot of things that were puzzling me. Like how you already knew how to slice that security terminal." Carth paused and said "I feel a lot more optimistic about pulling this off now, thanks for letting me know. I know that you can't tell me anything about your service experiences but I feel better knowing you probably have some combat experience." He looked at me and I kept my expression carefully neutral. He grinned and shook his head "alright, alright I'll stop. I know the drill you can neither confirm nor deny that you ever may or may not have been in combat."  
  
My lips twitched and I said "I need a shower before we go anywhere. Maybe my head will quit hurting so much too. We can combine what we know of this place after my shower and figure out a plan of action." I examined myself in the shower and winced at the bruising evident; I checked myself over for fractured bones but couldn't find any evidence of any. I checked out my reactions as best as possible and determined that I was probably still suffering from a slight concussion. It would be best if we took it quiet for another day and I let myself heal up.  
  
Once I had finished my shower Onasi and I compared what we knew of Taris. It wasn't a great place to live unless you were in the upper city. The further down the towering spires you lived the worse the conditions got. And the Undercity sounded like a truly terrible place with no true sunlight and some type of mutant life form called rakghouls wandering about it.  
  
As we talked I examined the vibrosword I had picked up on the Endar Spire, Carth had grabbed our packs from the escape pod and had brought them as well as myself to the apartment. I was very pleased that he had, as it meant we were not completely without supplies. The weapon was some type of prototype and it was upgradeable. I had a few upgrades on me and decided to install them while we talked. I swung the sword around a few times after I had finished and was pleased with the results. My headache had passed while we talked and we decided it was a good time to go do a bit of scouting around.  
  
As we exited the apartment we immediately ran into a Sith officer and two patrol droids harassing two Duros, one of the Duros asked why they were being harassed and the Sith shot him for doing so. The Sith officer noticed us and immediately identified us as Republic fugitives. Moving swiftly I took him out before he could call for help and Carth and I dispatched the two droids. Sith always over relied on droids for some reason. The remaining Duros thanked us and said that he would take care of the remains.  
  
Much to Onasi's embarrassment I poked my head into every apartment that looked empty for stuff that might be sellable. We needed credits to buy some decent equipment and I wasn't above salvaging everything that didn't have an obvious owner to get them. A helpful Twi'lik by the name of Larrim had a small shop set up in the apartment building and was more than pleased to buy any decent equipment we found. By the time I we had finished exploring we had promised to help a woman we found hiding in one of the apartments with getting a bounty removed. I wasn't sure how to go about getting it done but I would try if we could get to the lower city.  
  
Carth had a pensive look about him and I paused and asked if he could fill me in some on his Republic service. He told me he had been a star pilot for several years and had fought in the Mandalorian Wars before all this started. He said the Sith were more senseless than the Mandalorians had been. I nodded remembering my training classes, Carth was right the Sith did slaughter like senseless animals. He said that his home world was one of the first planets to fall to Malak's fleet, I apologized for bring up such a painful subject. He mentioned failing someone by following his orders but then he clammed up and said he didn't want to talk about it anymore. I could see his pain and dropped the subject; if he wanted to he would bring it up later.  
  
We wandered around the upper city, at first I was tense with all the Sith troopers about but it became obvious we were not drawing any attention. I started relaxing some and noticed a clinic, if the doctor wasn't the type to ask a lot of questions it would be a good thing to get myself checked out. I wasn't worried about my implants showing up they were all coated with a protective coating that would hide them from the usual scanning devices.  
  
The doctor was a kind man, one of the ones who took his oath to treat everyone that came to him seriously. He mentioned that he could treat everything but the rakghoul disease and I asked him what that was. What he said was horrible, I thought the rakghouls were some mutant, but he told me that they were people who had been infected by other rakghouls and had mutated into them. He mentioned that the Republic had developed a serum to cure an infected person but that the Sith had come and took over before it could be distributed. They were of course keeping it for their own patrols, and refused to let the Taris medical staff have any. I nodded and resolved that if I had a chance to get a sample I would bring it to him so he could synthesize some. I had him check me out and he confirmed that I had a slight concussion which he was able to cure.  
  
I thanked him and he wandered off. For some reason I was drawn to the back of the clinic, there was a door there that was locked and I quickly sliced it open. Onasi noticed what I was doing and started to argue with me but stopped as I motioned that he should come in the room with me. Two Republic soldiers, hung in bacta tanks at the end of the room. Their wounds were severe and it was clear that they would probably not survive them. We stared and the doctor came in behind us agitated asking what we were doing back there it was for employees only. Carth said "I know these soldiers." and the doctor looked at him and said the only way you could recognize them is if you were a friend of the Republic. We nodded, all of us not mentioning that we would obviously have to be fellow crew members. Carth and I thanked him for caring for them and I asked if there was anything we could do. He shook his head and said that he was keeping them pain free and that was the most anyone could do for them.  
  
On our way out the medical assistant told us that if we found the rakghoul serum that Davik Kang would pay us well for it. I asked why he was interested in it and it became clear that Kang saw a profit to be made in selling the serum. I was disgusted and told him so, and that I would give the serum to Zelka if I found any.  
  
We found the local cantina and went inside, Carth went up to the bar and I noticed a pretty young woman glancing at us from one of the tables. I walked over and gave her a friendly smile, she smiled back but said that she wasn't looking for conversation; she was only here to relax before her next duty shift. I was surprised she didn't look like one of the Sith, I said as much and she grinned and said that she didn't wear her uniform when off duty. She said the Sith didn't own her and that being in the fleet was just a job to her. She didn't sound very happy and I said as much, she sighed and said that she had been promised adventure and excitement in exotic locales. Instead she was stationed here on a backwater planet, but she didn't have any other way of earning a living. I nodded and she looked worried and said that she would appreciate it if I didn't repeat anything she had said, it might not go over well. I thought to myself that would probably be very accurate and assured her that I would not. I stored away all that she had said, it was a facet of the Sith fleet that I hadn't been exposed to. I hadn't thought that the Sith would be recruiting using the normal recruiting methods of promising adventure and travel. It meant that some of the people walking around in Sith uniforms were not necessarily evil people, at least not yet. I wondered sadly how long it would be before the young woman messed up and got herself executed or became hardened to what went on around her.  
  
I wandered about the cantina and found my attention drawn to an area where they were showing a duel, one of the men fumbled and dropped his weapon and was quickly down, and the announcer mentioned that he was just unconscious. I wondered what was going on and went over to ask the Hutt about the duel and he told me they used energy suppressor fields to ensure that no one was killed during the match. Medical droids were on the arena floor just in case as well. He asked if I was interested in fighting and said that I would get 10% of the money bet on the match if I won. I went over in my mind the skill levels of the two men I had seen fighting and smiled. He had a deal; even Carth allowed that it was probably a good way to raise some credits. He gave me the name Mysterious Stranger and I chuckled and agreed to use the name.  
  
The first fight was amazingly easy, so I agreed to immediately meet the next duelist on the list. People were gathering to watch and were looking like I would be able to make a decent amount on the next match if I won it. The second fight went almost as easily, I had to duck a blaster bolt as I closed the distance to melee that left a welt on my arm but I was unhurt other than that. I stood on the edge of the ring until the regeneration implant healed it enough to where it didn't hurt and waved off the droids watching them carry Gerlon away.  
  
I left the dueling ring and stood in the back of the room trying to judge the next duelist. It was a woman named Ice and she looked fit and dangerous. Hmm this would be a nice duel I thought to myself, I might even get a good workout. The cantina was crowded and I had gotten 200 credits for the last fight. I went up to the Hutt and agreed to the next duel. It was a close match, she was quick and very good with her vibroblade, I was being careful and got a painful slice for my efforts but I took her down without injuring her too badly. I watched the medical droids anxiously to make sure she was ok and breathed a sight of relief when she got to her feet. That was more than enough for me in one day, besides I didn't want anyone wondering why I was healing so quickly.  
  
As we were making out way toward the other end of the upper city we noticed two men threatening an old man. Carth and I looked at each other and wandered closer wondering what was going on. We got close enough to hear that they were threatening the man because of a loan he owned Davik Kang. It was fairly obvious they intended to seriously hurt or even kill the old man if he didn't produce the money. They noticed us watching and said something about witnesses. I couldn't stand by and allow them to hurt the old man so I said "Leave this man alone or you will have to deal with me." Not being very bright they immediately attacked Carth and I, and died very quickly. The old man thanked us and then worried that there would only be more until they killed him. I asked if here was anything I could do to help and he smiled and said unless you have a spare 100 credits, there wasn't much more that I could do for him. I could tell from his attitude that he was not seriously expecting me to give him money, and I chuckled and riffled through the two thugs wallets and pulled out the money in them and handed it to him. "Here's 100 credits right here, take them." He blinked and began thanking me, but I said laughing "It only seems appropriate that you use that money to pay off Davik."  
  
We finally found the elevator to the Lower city but it was guarded by a Sith trooper who waved us off saying "This elevator is off limits. Only Sith patrols and those with proper authorization are allowed into the Lower city. Its obvious from the way your dressed that your not one of the Sith patrols, so unless you have the authorization papers you must move along!" We moved off but it was now obvious what we needed to acquire in order to get down to the Lower City.  
  
We found another apartment complex and with a grin I said "ohh another tour opportunity." Carth groaned but nodded, "just be careful that they are abandoned."  
  
We went in the first room only to find a man hiding in the corner asking us not to kill him and mentioning a name that was becoming all too common, Davik. I assured him that I was not here to kill him and asked how he was in trouble, he owed Davik 200 credits and if he didn't pay Davik would kill him. I was about to shrug and turn away when I realized what I was doing, I had the credits and I was thinking that 200 credits had more value than this mans life. I pulled out the credits and gave them to him, it's not like I couldn't earn more in my next duel anyway. The sheer gratitude in his eyes and voice was certainly worth more than 200 credits. Carth muttered "That sure was generous of you. I just hope we don't end up needing those credits later on." To which I replied, "We have enough, and we didn't need it nearly as much as he does." I chuckled and finished "Though I hope I stop stumbling on these needy souls soon or we may run out of money."  
  
We continued along the hallway only to see a group of three Sith troopers questioning an alien in the common room. I heard the word uniform and drifted closer. The Sith Commander was asking where the alien had hidden Sith uniforms, the commander was getting angry and the trooper edged out of the rooming muttering something about not wanting to clean blood stains from his uniform this time. I blinked realizing what was about to happen and said "Maybe the alien really doesn't know anything." The trooper spun and said "Just stay out of this if you know what's good for you." I tensed releasing adrenals into my blood knowing the outcome of what I was about to say "I won't let you kill a defenseless prisoner!" The Sith Commander spun away from the alien and focused on me "What was that? let us kill him? Time to teach this civilian the penalty for defying the Sith!" I didn't hesitate and cut down the nearest trooper as he said this and rushed the Commander letting Carth take out the other trooper. The Sith commander was slower than I expected and went down quickly. I really hadn't needed to bother with the adrenals but better safe than dead.  
  
The alien thanked us for saving his life and I asked about the Sith uniforms he admitted that he had been stealing them and giving them to a Lower City gang called the Hidden Bek's. The leader was a man named Gadon Thek and he mentioned that I should take the uniforms off the Sith we had killed and use them to get into the Lower City and talk to Gadon. I wasn't sure this gang leader would know anything but it was worth a try, if he was collecting Sith uniforms to fight then at least he might be sympathetic to us. 


	5. Taris  Lower City

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own.   
  
Taris – Lower City  
  
We decided to go back to the apartment and sleep and attempt the deception with the uniform in the morning. We only had the one uniform and we both hoped it would be enough. Carth agreed that I would pretend to be the Sith trooper and he would pretend to be a paid informant accompanying me. The Sith liked to use paid informants, so we hoped that would allow us to pass through the checkpoint. Carth put on such an amazingly good weasel face, that I had a hard time not laughing in front of the Sith trooper.  
  
It worked like a charm, the Sith trooper even gave us some good warnings about what to expect down there for which I thanked him. We stepped out of the elevator right into the midst of a gang fight. Before they noticed us we stepped to the shadows and I quickly changed out of the Sith armor which probably wouldn't be too popular down here. One side was the Hidden Bek's and the other side Black Vulkars I gathered from the standard threatening dialogue that preceded the confrontation.  
  
The Hidden Bek's didn't do so well, when the dust settled the Black Vulkars noticed us and before I could say a word attacked. What charming folks I thought, I had noted they were not that skilled in the use of their weapons and met the quickest of them in melee combat so Carth had a good chance to use his blasters. Carth and I made quick work of them, I got a slight cut but it quickly healed. The fight did point out that we really needed better armor. If I couldn't acquire some soon I would have to break down and purchase some.  
  
We went to check out an apartment complex across from the elevator first, maybe there might be some information or stashes of goods we could find there. It was crawling with Black Vulkar, all who attacked as soon as they saw us. We shook our heads over this, these Black Vulkar were worse than the Sith on this planet. Wouldn't you know my luck held perfectly, in the first apartment I broke into we found someone hiding. I had to struggle not to laugh as I said "I'm not one of Daviks thugs; let me guess you have a bounty on your head over money owed."  
  
The Twi'lek shook his head no and told us how he had turned in information to the government about exchange information. My respect for him rose even if he was probably suicidal given what I could tell of this Davik character, I asked if there was anything we could do and he had a surprising answer. Arrange it to look like we had taken the bounty on him, messily enough that there wouldn't be any remains left. His idea was to use demolitions and I had to agree that it was excessive for the task but they might believe it from a rookie bounty hunter. He gave me some items to sell in exchange for the detonator and told me where he thought I could buy it. I argued some with Carth about it but he agreed to stay with the man while I went up to the Upper city and back. He was correct in where to purchase the item and I noted that if we didn't find any armor soon I would be back here to buy some of the armor the merchant had. It was good quality and the prices were not too bad.  
  
On the way back I saw some children kicking and taunting an Ithorian, I was outraged and stopped to reprimand them. They seemed to think that something was wrong with me for protecting an alien and I told them that just because someone was different they didn't have the right to attack them. They ran off calling me an alien lover and I thought sourly what a charming planet, the Sith should get a lot of recruits here. I noticed the Ithorian looked pretty bad and offered him one of my medical pak's. He said he should probably get back to someplace safe and I agreed, I needed to get moving as well Carth would get concerned if I took too long.  
  
I went back to the apartment with the detonator, and gave it to Matrik. Matrik refused the extra credits left over from the items I had sold, saying that we should keep them. He placed the detonators on a short timer and we took cover outside the room. The explosion was rather spectacular and we agreed that the story should hold up, Matrik left but told us where to visit to collect his bounty.  
  
We continued and the next deserted apartment we hit pay dirt. It had some type of odd logic puzzle on the lock dealing with some local band but inside the security crate was a set of echani fiber armor and some credits. Our luck was looking better and Carth and I agreed that I would wear the fiber armor and he would get the combat armor I had been wearing. The next apartment over was a difficult fight and required us to use our first med pak but the gang members there had some supplies that allowed us to upgrade Carth's weapons.  
  
The next stop was the lower city cantina where we would hopefully get the Hutt that handled bounties to accept that Matrik was dead. The Hutt Zak believed my story about Matrik and I was actually able to bargain an extra 100 credit for the bounty out of him. He also told me about other bounties one of which was the one on Dia's head. We exited the cantina area where the Hutt was and witnessed an exchange at the bar between a brash young Twi'lek woman and two Rhodians, she called for help and Wookiee got up and went over to her. Interesting young lady I thought, good thing she has her friend to back her up otherwise that mouth of hers would get her killed.  
  
I walked over to see what information I might be able to get from the odd pair. The Twi'lek youngster was friendly and said that her name was Mission Vao and her friend was Big Z and they were our official welcoming committee! I grinned at that and said I had a few questions she might be able to answer. She was more than happy to fill me in on the Lower City situation between the two gangs. I thanked her for the information after we had talked awhile and she said she had to get going.  
  
I finally found Holdan in the bar, what a pleasant man he was. No wonder Dia had sliced his face open. I noticed the Twi'lek dancers were giving him particularly cold looks and wondered if it had something to do with the bounty. As he went on about how he couldn't let Dia get away with what she had done, I worked the conversation around to what the results of the bounty had been. As I had suspected, his chances of getting anything from the women here had plummeted since he had placed the bounty.  
  
I pointed out that perhaps he might have more luck with the women in the bar if he removed the bounty from Dia's head. I could tell the thought was working its way around slowly in his brain as he weighed it. He finally decided I might be correct and went to have the bounty removed. I had to chuckle as he left and Carth finally moved out of the shadows where he had retreated during the conversation so that Holdan couldn't tell he had been laughing quietly during all of it.  
  
I paused and asked him about something that had been bothering me a bit since he was my superior rank wise. He had indicated when we started out that I should take the lead position and he would back me up. He replied to my question and said that I was a natural at it, and I had a way with people that made me the better choice to talk to them. Besides, people were instinctively less threatened by a woman than a man. I had to agree with the last since it was true and we both knew it. I agreed with his evaluation of the situation, and it was grave enough that we couldn't pass up any advantage we had.  
  
As we continued wandering around, we witnessed and exchange between the Vulkars and some of Davik Kang's men. A tall muscular man walked confidently up and the Vulkars quickly backed down, he looked like a Mandalorian. I cautiously approached and politely asked who he was, he introduced himself as Candarous Ordo, so he was a Mandalorian. He said he had to get going and with one more look at me he left. I un-tensed, that would have been a dangerous confrontation. He was much more experienced than I was and might have killed me if it had come to a fight; I knew that both of us had been sizing each other up. I wondered what he had seen when he looked at me.  
  
We went on to check out the second apartment building, and interrupted Calo Nord taking in a bounty on two rhodians. The man was quick, I had seen him kill some thugs that had bothered him at the bar earlier. He said nothing after he had killed the two and I didn't either I just moved out of his way as he left. This apartment building was also crawling with Vulkars and we had to kill a lot of them as we went through it. Hopefully some of this would trickle back to the Hidden Bek's and they would be interested in meeting with us.  
  
I had just opened one of the apartments only to find a woman standing within, she had a blaster pointed at me and asked what I was doing, I recognized her from my bounty description, and said "your Selven aren't you?" It wasn't the brightest thing I've ever done that's for sure, she started firing at me and I took a diving roll to get out of the blaster fire and sprang to my feet at melee distance and attacked. She dodged my first attack and pulled her vibroblade, she was very good and I would have had been in serious trouble if Carth hadn't been there as well. Between the two of us though, we were able to kill her without getting seriously hurt. Carth correctly pointed out that I telling her I recognized her hadn't been a good move and I sheepishly agreed. The next room held a nice surprise once I disabled the gas mine protecting the sealed strongbox and figured out the passwords. Republic armor and 100 credits, Carth grinned as I handed them to him and immediately exchanged is basic combat armor for them. We were now in good shape as far as armor and weapons were concerned.  
  
I took the opportunity to ask Carth if this were a good time to ask him some more questions, I was curious as to what he had meant earlier. He stunned me when he replied "I'm all ears, beautiful." I blinked and said "Isn't that a bit inappropriate?" He didn't take the hint and replied "Is there something else you would prefer." in an obviously flirtatious tone. It was an uncomfortable situation and I replied "How about my name?" He replied, "Don't get yourself in a twist over it, gorgeous. I didn't mean anything by it." Rapidly getting tired of this I finally said "That's no good, either" and then added "Sir" on the end.  
  
I had finally made it clear that he had crossed the line. He said trying to be humorous, "Oh, for crying out -- fine. If it'll make you feel better, you call me something. Go ahead, come on, I can take it." I wasn't going to play though and replied "What? Don't be ridiculous." He still kept valiantly on though "What? Are you afraid you'll hurt my feelings? Come on, spit it out. You can do it." I shook my head and said "Forget it. Let's get back to my questions."  
  
He sighed and said "All business today, eh? Are these questions really necessary?" I decided he must still be uncomfortable about the entire issue and said "Not if you have a problem with it." The man was really irritating; he replied "No, No, I don't have a problem with it, really. Go ahead and interrogate me."  
  
Well really if he didn't want to discuss the issue I thought, why didn't he just say so in the first place. I replied "This isn't an interrogation. I never said that." in what I felt was a commendably even tone. He groaned and said "No, I was just joking, though you do seem to be full of questions. It's rather refreshing to be honest. Let me ask you something first, though. I've been going through the battle aboard the Endar Spire over and over in my head since we crashed. Some things just don't add up for me. Maybe you could tell me what happened... from your perspective."  
  
I grimaced and said "I certainly wasn't in a position to know what was going on. I was too busy trying to remember the layout of the ship and figuring out where I needed to be going to have a good idea of what was going on in a tactical sense."  
  
Carth nodded and said "Neither was I, to tell the truth. I was onboard as an advisor for the most part. The battle began so fast, it's anyone's guess as to what actually happened. We lost the ship and a lot of good people... and for what? On the hope that Jedi powers would save us, somehow. Not that Bastila had much of an opportunity to act. We didn't choose that battle, anyway. It got forced on us. Hell, I'm just surprised that any of us are alive to talk about it." He looked at me and continued "come to think of it, it's more than al little surprising you happen to be here isn't it, given your position in the Republic fleet. You were a last minute addition to the crew roster and you just happened to be one of the survivors."  
  
I stared at him trying to figure out if he was really accusing me of having something to do with the attack. Maybe he was just reacting to my rejection of him I decided. I said "What's so odd about me being added to the crew at the last minute?" He replied "You were the only one. Not to mention that Bastila's party was the one who requested your transfer." I said, "I was told I was the only person in the sector who had the necessary language skills." He kept right on with his accusatory tone and said "Considering your connection to Bastila and the Jedi... whether you know it or not... your presence here seems a little convenient. I'm probably wrong and this is probably nothing, I know. I learned a long time ago not to take things at face value, however. And I hate surprises."  
  
By this point I was more than a little bit angry, no one had ever had any reason to doubt my loyalty to the Republic and I had risked my life for the Republic many times. And here was this fly boy who barely knew me throwing around baseless accusations. My tone went to icily cold and I said "What do you mean by surprises?" He blinked and said "I mean I have to expect the unexpected. Just to be safe." I was still angry and said sarcastically "You do know we're on the same side, right?"  
  
He finally seemed to clue in on the fact that I was angry and said "Look... it has nothing to do with you, personally. I don't trust anyone, and I have my reasons. And, no, I'm not going to discuss them. So can we just keep our mind on more important things?"  
  
I stared at him in disbelief; he all but accuses me of being a traitor and then tells me its nothing personal? I said "I consider this important."  
  
He sighed and said "Alright, alright. You must be the most damned persistent woman I've ever met. We'll talk about it... but later. Right now I just want to get going."  
  
I stared at him and though, lovely now it's my entire fault, I hate men. I shrugged and decided to just let the subject drop for now. He obviously had some serious personal issues; I just hoped they wouldn't jeopardize our mission.  
  
We went back to the lower city cantina and picked up the bounty for Selven, I managed to persuade him that she was worth more than the standard bounty and managed to get 400 credits. This business of killing people for money wasn't particularly nice but at least it they weren't nice people that I was killing, at least not the ones with the government bounties on their heads.  
  
We decided to approach the Hidden Beks and walked up to where we had heard they were located. The woman guarding the door was suspicious but I could tell she had heard something about our exploits. I chucked to myself and though I doubt there's anyone down here who hasn't heard of the literally bloody path we've cut through the Vulkars. I sort of regretted it for a moment, but all of them had made the mistake of attacking us first and what I had heard of the Vulkars made it clear they were brutal thugs.  
  
I said "Maybe we can be allies against all those enemies" in reply to her listing off all the people who might want to kill Gadon. She cautiously nodded and said, "Well, we do need all the help we can get. Go in and speak to Gadon if you want. Just remember we are watching you." With that she opened the door and let us into the Hidden Bek base. I approached the person I thought would be Gadon and was intercepted by a Twi'lek woman. "Hold it right there - who are you and what is your business with Gadon?" she asked in a no nonsense tone. Gadon remonstrated with her about her attitude and said they would not start acting like the Vulkars. She agreed but gave an earful about what would happen if we were here to harm Gadon. I took no offense at her tone; she was only trying to do her job, which was obviously to protect Gadon.  
  
I asked him if he knew anything about the escape pods which had crashed down into the Undercity, I wasn't expecting much, but he had just the information we needed. He knew of a Republic officer named Bastila who survived the crash. And that the Vulkars had took her prisoner with the idea of selling her into slavery. I was astonished at our good luck, and asked if he knew where she was now. He said that she would not be at the Vulkar base; she was too valuable for that. Brejik would have her hidden away somewhere safe until the big swoop race. I frowned puzzled and asked what swoop racing had to do with it. Gadon told us that she was being offered as the prize in the big swoop race, he went on to mention that our only hope of rescuing her was to win her in the swoop race. I asked if he could help us with this and he said that he might if we helped him with something. He correctly stated that we both and something to gain and something to loose. I looked at him and asked what he was proposing.  
  
He said that he would be willing to sponsor me in the swoop race if I would break into the Vulkar base and steal back the prototype engine that they had developed. I asked him how I was supposed to get into the base and he said that Mission Vao would be the one who would know if there were back ways in. I recognized the name it was the Twi'lek kid we had meet with her Wookiee companion in the cantina. I was doubtful about the entire thing but couldn't see another likely way. I asked how I would find Mission and he told me to look for her in the Undercity. He had security papers from an ambushed Sith patrol that we could use to get pass all the guards. I asked why the uniforms we had wouldn't work and he said that the security here was much tighter and a simple disguise wouldn't work but the papers would get us through unquestioned. I had my doubts but decided to trust the luck that had gotten us this far.  
  
We decided to go back to the upper city and rest before heading into the Undercity. Besides I needed to give Dia the good news about the lifting of her bounty and we had a few things we needed to sell. I had also picked up some upgrades for our armor and weapons and wanted to install them before we ventured into the Undercity.  
  
Dia was grateful to hear that the bounty had been removed and wanted to give me some family heirloom as a reward since she didn't have many credits. I told her to keep it, and she left.  
  
I still wasn't tired and I decided to go visit the cantina, maybe if I felt like it when I got there I would see if Marl was interested in dueling. I had liked the older man when I met him earlier and was eager to test my skill against him. I left Carth resting in the apartment and told him I would be back after a drink. I was being a bit foolish I knew with the dueling and I really didn't want to hear any lectures.  
  
The duel was a good one, we were fairly matched but I was younger and much quicker and was able to win the duel. I went up to him afterward to make sure he was ok, he chuckled at me and assured me that I hadn't hurt him too badly. He had realized during the duel that I had been pulling blows and shook his head at me. We chatted some more and he told me that he realized it was time for him to retire and he wished me well.  
  
I was hyped after the battle and on the spur of the moment decided to challenge Twitch. I had picked up an energy shield in our salvage travels and I knew that would give me the time needed to close him. He preferred using blasters and I knew that that meant he was probably less skilled at melee. Or I hoped it was the case. I released my adrenals right before the fight and activated my shield. I could tell he was on adrenals as well which probably accounted for his name and reputation. I closed the distance between us in a rush and attacked him strongly; he drew his swords and defended himself. As I had suspected he wasn't nearly as good at melee and I was able knock him to the mat unconscious fairly quickly. I had picked up a few wounds but nothing too serious.  
  
Suddenly I was the new dueling champion; I had actually forgotten that would be the case if I defeated Twitch. Needless to say I didn't have to buy myself any drinks. The only interested I looks I gathered were male though, I sighed to myself again. I had no clue where one would go on Taris to find my idea of companionship, and I resigned myself to the fact that my time on this planet would probably be celibate.  
  
I went back to the apartment, Carth was still up and I added the 900 credits I had just gotten for the two duels to our stash. It was getting quite healthy. He stared and asked where I had gotten that, I grinned at him and said "Your looking at the new Taris duel champion." As expected he started fussing at me but I just chuckled at him.  
  
I decided to take this opportunity to try and figure out why he didn't trust me. I said "I want to discuss something with you." Carth looked wary but said "You do, fair enough. What do you want to discuss?" You're right to look wary fly boy I thought to myself and said with my arms crossed "I want to talk about these issues you seem to have with me."  
  
Carth sighed and said "I knew you wouldn't understand where I was coming from. Let me try to explain. You're probably one of the most skilled women I've ever met. You've saved my butt more than once and I'm lucky you're here to help me, no question. But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop watching you or being wary. I'm just not built that way. Period."  
  
'Built that way?' I thought what the heck did that mean. I asked "And what, exactly, are you watching me for?"  
  
Carth said "I don't know that, yet. Like I said before, it's probably nothing. But I've been betrayed before by people and I... well, it won't happen again, that's all."  
  
I stared at him wondering who had betrayed him, judging from his reaction to it they must have been someone he cared about or respected. I said "So you want some guarantee that I won't betray you?" Carth said "I don't know that you will betray me. But there are no guarantees... not for you, not for me. You don't have to take it personally."  
  
I really couldn't believe he had just said that, how could you not take it personally. I decided to turn the tables on him and asked "Right. And how am I supposed to know that you won't betray us?" He blinked and said "Me?" in a surprised voice. I said challengingly "Yes, you! Why should I trust you, after all?"  
  
He sighed then said "You shouldn't if you're smart, you won't trust anyone... not me, not Bastila, and especially not yourself." I shook my head at him aggravated and said "I wouldn't want to live like that." He said in reply "Not all of us have the luxury of a choice. I'm conditioned this way, sorry." Suddenly tired of the whole thing I said "That settles that, I guess." and turned away planning on going to bed.  
  
Carth stopped me and said "Why is whether or not I trust you or anyone so damned important to you? Why... Why do you even care?" he stared at me and then said "We don't have time for this tonight we need our sleep. Can we please just... drop it? For now? Can we pick it up later if you really must."  
  
I nodded at him and went to take a shower before falling asleep, tomorrow would be a difficult day. 


	6. Taris Undercity

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own.   
  
Taris – Undercity  
  
The papers worked like a charm, just like Gadon had promised. The Sith trooper at the elevator to the Undercity said something about it crawling with rakghouls and advised that we should shoot first and ask questions later.  
  
We exited the elevator to a grey landscape. The ground was dry dirt, and very little vegetation could be seen. There was not enough sunlight down this far down for much to grow. Two shabbily dressed men came up and accosted us as we exited, telling us we owed them five credits for using the elevator. I raised my eyebrows and asked them who they were. They said they were outcasts and had lived all their lives down here, they mentioned again that I owed them five credits for the use of the elevator. Moved to pity, I shook my head and handed them 20 credits. They grabbed it and exclaimed that they would be able to buy clothes and medicine and ran off to hide their sudden bounty. I felt ill, and wondered how Taris could claim that it was a civilized world when there were so many examples of how callously it treated anyone that wasn't human and fortunate enough to be born in the Upper City.  
  
A woman came up and apologized for the behavior of the two men who had begged money from us. She assured us that not all of the villagers were like that and told us her name was Shaleena. She asked if the upper city was as beautiful as she had heard, I decided against commenting that it would be except for the people inhabiting it, and said that it was beautiful. She said that she had never seen the sun because she had been born in the Undercity. She mentioned that Rukil used to tell stories of what it was like to live up there and I asked her who Rukil was. She said that he was the oldest man in the village; he told them tales of the Promised Land, but those were just legends. I asked her to explain further and she said that they were only tales but if we wanted to know more we should ask Rukil. I nodded and asked about any other upworlders that had been through. She said that Gendar the village leader could tell us more than she could about that. I said I would go and speak to him. She shyly backed away and said that if I ever felt like talking to come back and see her since she hardly ever got a chance to speak to someone from the upworld. I nodded and said that I would do that if I had the time. I know Carth was impatient this entire time but I didn't really care, it would have been cruel to have brushed her off.  
  
Rukil was interesting to say the least. He spoke in metaphor and asked me if I was the herald of prophecy or just another harbinger of shattered dreams. I was at a loss as to how to reply to him and asked what he was talking about. He replied that I was uncertain, and then went on to say that after a hundred years of life he himself became confused at times. The entire situation struck me as funny and I had to chuckle. I asked him what he wanted of me and he asked me if I could find out what become of his apprentice. I agreed that if I came across her or found out what happened to her I would let him know. He might be crazy but he was harmless and very concerned for Malya his apprentice.  
  
I guess it was the surroundings and the grey dimness of the life they led, I found myself unwilling to add in any measure to their lot. If I could do something for them while I was down here I would do so. No one deserved to live like this, especially since whatever their parents had done, the punishment was being visited on their innocent children. I also spoke to Gendar about the village and found him to be a kind man. All in all I found them more pleasant and kind than most of the people in the Upper City. The only unpleasant one I met was Igear the salvage dealer, and I agreed with Carth's assessment that he was slimy.  
  
We went toward the village gate where there was some commotion going on, a woman was pleading with a man for him to open the gate and let Hendar in. I looked past the gate and saw a man running, Hendar, I supposed, and chasing him was this whitish thing. A rakghoul, I realized. The woman cried "this isn't fair, let him in". The man said "they are too close I cannot risk it." I heard myself saying "open the gate I will kill the rakghoul." I was distantly surprised at myself but her despairing cry had roused a determination in me that I would not stand by and just let this man be killed. The man stared but opened the gate and I rushed though, I released my adrenals and then closed on the rakghoul powerfully attacking it to stop it from attacking the outcast man. Carth had been caught by surprise but also came though the gate and started firing at the creature. Between us we were able to kill it. The couple thanked me whole heartedly then embraced and walked arm in arm back to the village. I smiled, at them pleased that everything had ended well. I grinned at Carth and said "well at least we know we can kill the things. I suspect we will be seeing more of them out there." He grumbled, but I could tell he had been moved by these people's plight as well.  
  
We went back out the village gate only to have the very person we were looking for come running up to us. She was distressed. "Please, you have to help me! Nobody else is going to help me. Even the Beks won't help me. But I can't just leave him there - he's my friend! You'll help me, won't you?" "Whoa, slow down Mission, what's wrong?" I said. I didn't see her Wookiee friend and I had the strong suspicion that he was the one who needed help. Zaalbar was in trouble she replied, I thought that's right Zaalbar or Big Z, she mentioned someone selling him into slavery. Almost everyone on this miserable planet seemed to be into selling people, I thought to myself. I got her to calm down a bit and tell me what happened, Gamorrean slave hunters had been waiting for them this time and had ambushed them. Mission had gotten away but there had been too many of the Gamorrean's for Zaalbar to deal with. I said that we would help her get Zaalbar back but we needed her help afterwards with getting into the Vulkar base. "It's a deal as soon as we get Big Z back, I'll show you a way into that Vulkar base " Mission replied to me. I was cheered by her words for they showed that she did know of a back way into the base.  
  
We meet one of the Sith patrols but the leader looked at my security papers and said "ah one of the trackers the Commander sent down right?" I nodded to him as it sounded like a good cover for us being down there and he mentioned that they had lost a security patrol in the southern section already but he couldn't go look for them. He mentioned that they had been attacked several times and had even run out of rakghoul serum. I asked where the patrol had been lost and he jumped to the conclusion that we had been sent down to search for them though he expressed surprise that they would. I thought to myself, no you're right Sith don't do that, but allowed him to think that might be the case, as I said that I needed to get going.  
  
I outlined to Carth and Mission my idea for dealing with the rakghouls. I would go close enough to one as they were wandering to lure a single one away from the pack. I would then run with it following me back to them and we would take them out one at a time. Otherwise they might overwhelm us. They argued but agreed to try my idea; it was so successful with the first group that we decided to us it as a tactic whenever we could. It required a certain measured patient pace but it was sure and the best way to make sure we didn't get infected.  
  
We came upon the corpses of the Sith patrol and I found the serum I had been looking for. I argued that we should take the time to go back to the Upper City and get it synthesized. It should take us less than an hour total and not only would the good doctor get a supply, but we would have several doses for ourselves.  
  
Zeloka Forn was very pleased to get the serum, he didn't want to know where I had gotten it and I agreed that was probably wise. He tried to offer me something for the serum but I declined saying that the first doses he could synthesize would be plenty. He caught on to my sense of urgency and within 30 min we had enough serum for our usage and some extras. He then began synthesizing the serum for the clinic's usage.  
  
I decided to use the time while we were waiting for the serum, to ask Mission where her parents or family were. She replied that she guessed her family was dead and that Big Z was her family now. She related how she had met up with Zaalbar in the lower city being harassed by the Vulkars. She had impulsively rushed to help him and I made the mistake of mentioning that she could have gotten hurt. I got the "your not my mother" reply, Mission really had an issue with anyone suggesting that she wasn't doing just fine by herself. Zaalbar had taken exception to the Vulkars knocking her around and had grabbed one of the Vulkars by the throat and lifted him up. The other two broke and ran and the one he had grabbed fainted.  
  
I asked how she had survived she had done before she had meet up with Zaalbar and she mentioned something about a brother but didn't want to say anything more. I let the subject drop but resolved to find out more of her history when I had a chance to. The chance came up sooner than I thought as she quickly regretted snapping at me. She told us how her brother and she had been stowaways on a freighter, fleeing her brother's debt.  
  
She told me about the skills she had taught her, and it sounded like her brother was a petty thief, but I said those were good skills to have. What could I say, I knew all of those types of skills as well, but I had learned mine at Covert Ops training. I asked her why her brother had left and she mentioned a woman named Lena whom she obviously blamed for her brother leaving and asked that we stop talking about the subject for now. We had been walking back down to the Undercity this entire time and I merely waved the serum containers at the guards. It worked like a charm as they all assumed I had went to pick it up at the Sith base, and, of course, no one would want to be without the serum in the Undercity.  
  
I decided to check in with Gendar and let him know I had serum; he told me to take it to the village healer and thanked me for my generosity. I went where he pointed and found the woman. She said there was nothing to be done for the ones already infected as the risk was too great. I was shocked but decided that the healer was correct for herself; she would have no chance against a rakghoul if someone transformed. I said that I would go in and administer the serum. She said that I was foolish but she wouldn't stop me. I told Carth and Mission to be prepared and opened the gate. Unfortunately three of the infected ones changed as soon as I stepped in the quarantine enclosure, without Mission and Carth it would have been iffy but the three of us were able to kill the newly transformed rakghouls and administer the serum to the remaining people inside. One of the women I had administered serum to told us about an escape pod that had crashed to the northeast and I thanked her.  
  
The healer came up and thanked us and said "You amaze me. I always thought the surface dwellers couldn't care less about us Outcasts. But you risked everything to help those infected villagers." I was embarrassed and blushed and said that I wasn't from Taris. She nodded and said that they had nothing to give me but gratitude and I said that and some healing would be more than enough. I left a few of the extra serums with the healer and told her if I could I would get more from the upper city doctor to bring to her.  
  
We decided to go looking for the escape pod the woman had mentioned and found a lone Republic survivor, he had been infected and I quickly gave him the serum. They had been attacked as soon as they came out of the escape pod and had killed the other people in the pod with him. I asked him about Bastila and he said that they had been tracking her pod and that it had gone down west of here. Suddenly he said "I heard something it's those monsters run!" He sprinted past us panicked and right into a pack of rakghouls. There was nothing could do, one of them killed him with one blow. I was dismayed and saddened what were they teaching these men? You never ran off like that leaving your fellows behind, first Trask and now this soldier whose name I never got. We fought off the rakghouls and cautiously continued on.  
  
We ran into Canderous Ordo and ended up fighting off some rakghouls with his group. Canderous lost two of his men during the fight, and told us that everything in the pods had already been stripped by the lower city gangs. He was going to take his remaining men and leave and advised us to do the same. I nodded and watched them walk off. We continued looking for other pods and any survivors.  
  
During this search we found the body of Rukil's apprentice and I took her journal to give to him later. We decided to press onward and check out the lower sewers, both to find Zaalbar and to check for any survivors. We ran into more rakghouls and Gamorrean's and had a few nice fights. In one of the rooms I saw a skeletal body with a datapad in its hand. I walked over and gingerly removed it wondering if it was related to more of Rukil's Promised Land searchers. Reading it I could tell that it was and I tucked it away with the apprentice's journal. I resolved to keep my eye out for anymore of them while we were down here.  
  
We finally found Zaalbar guarded by several Gamorreans. We managed to kill them all and released him. He asked who we were and I replied with introductions, he was surprised that I understood his language. Then proving that no good deed goes unpunished he swore a life debt to me. I tried to talk him out of it, but he had already made his vow. Mission said that wherever Big Z went she went as well and that I was stuck with her too. Everyone seemed to be getting a great deal of amusement out of my predicament, Carth most of all. I closed my eyes and wondered how I would explain this one to my Commander. 'Uh sorry Sir, I seem to have picked up two dependants, a Twi'lek teenager and a Wookiee.' Oh yea this would go over real well, the guys would find it a prime source of amusement for a long, long time.  
  
Oh well, I thought nothing could be done about it now and his presence in the team was a very welcome addition. We found Zaalbar's bowcaster in a nearby footlocker, and the Wookiee was very pleased to see it again.  
  
We finished checking through what Mission called the Lower Sewers and found a second Promised Land journal but no Republic survivors. I decided to return to the village before we entered the Upper sewers. The journals looked as if this Promised Land was some type of hidden underground facility, from the notes in the data pads it might actually exist. I argued with Carth some about it and reminded him that we had promised we would return if we found the apprentices journal. Besides a visit to the healer would be good for everyone, especially Zaalbar, I pointed out.  
  
Rukil began as cryptically as the last time, being called a beacon to the path to their salvation was highly embarrassing and I could feel Mission and Zaalbar staring at me. I asked how I could guide when I didn't know where the Promised Land was. He said something about me being marked up, and a mantle of destiny. By now I had given up hope of understanding what he was talking about and stopped trying.  
  
Finally he said that he would tell me the history of the people of the village. I was interested in finding out why they were down there, so I asked him to continue. He told us that 100 years ago Taris had suffered a widespread famine due to rising levels of toxic waste, the poor had rose up against the wealthy who were hoarding food and rebelled. The rebellion was eventually crushed, and those taken prisoner were banished here. Mission chimed in that the Tarisian nobles would stuff their mothers down here if it would make more room, and I had to agree with her. He finished by telling us about the Promised Land, it was supposed to be an underground self sufficient colony founded just before the rebellion. He mentioned that his father and grandfather had journals that had been lost and said that these journals might hold the key to the location of the Promised Land. I was already pulling out the two journals I had found in the sewers; I knew they had to be the ones he was speaking of.  
  
He immediately saw what I had seen in the cryptic notes, the Promised Land might actually exist and the journals showed the route. We went to show them to Gendar, and he looked them over. Gendar said "Is this true?" the light of hope dawning in his face. Gendar and Rukil discussed it some more and talked about the journey that would have to be made. It would take weeks, maybe months to make it but they had the supplies to make the journey. I pulled out the weapons we had found on the dead Sith and Gamorreans and insisted that they take them, they would need them for the journey much more than I needed to sell them. We visited the healer and had Zaalbar checked out, everyone's wounds healed, and then we wished Rukil well and went back to the sewer gate closest to the village.  
  
I paused for a moment as we passed the gate and said a prayer in my thoughts for them that they safely make the journey and find a better life, that the colony was the Promised Land they hoped it would be. They certainly deserved better than the life they had.  
  
We went back in the sewers and followed Mission to the force field that blocked the entrance to the upper sewers; Mission had the codes for it and lowered it so we could pass through. There were a few minor confrontations with rakghouls and Gamorreans, but it wasn't long before we were approaching the area where Mission had told us the rancor lived. As we approached I noticed a gruesome sight, an arm with a datapad still clutched in its hand along with some containers filled with a liquid.  
  
Curious I pried the datapad from the hand and read it, ignoring the grimaces I got from everyone. It was interesting reading, it seemed it had belonged to a Hidden Bek and that the liquid in the containers was a synthesized odor designed to attract the rancor. The owner of the arm had hoped to lure the rancor into eating something lethal to it but obviously he had failed.  
  
I motioned for everyone to stay back and went to have a look at the next area. A rancor stood facing a door with his back turned toward me, a pile of half eaten bodies and animals some distance behind it. A thought came to mind, it was gruesome but it had a good chance of working. I didn't want to ask Mission to do what I was planning, so I indicated that they were to remain where they were. Keeping an eye on the rancor I silently slipped over to the corpse pile, it smelled as bad as I suspected it would and I was careful to breath through my mouth so I wouldn't gag.  
  
I located what I was looking for and gently levered the half eaten body to lie over by itself. Steeling myself I took out some fragment grenades and carefully wedged them into the corpse's gaping chest cavity. Then I quickly opened the synthesized scent and poured it over the corpse. I sprinted back to where Mission and Carth were waiting and we hid and waited for the rancor to react.  
  
It wasn't long before the rancor came over to check out the scent and grabbed the torso and ate it. That dislodged the grenades I had placed in the body and they exploded inside the rancor killing it. I went back to where some clean looking water had been flowing and cleaned my hands as best I could, if I found some soap I would definitely clean them again. I did get some looks from Carth and Mission and said "yea it wasn't pleasant but the rancor is dead and we aren't hurt."  
  
Beyond the door the rancor had been facing was the Vulkar base, we were in, now to find the prototype accelerator. We had killed off quite a few of the guards and patrol droids when we came across a woman cowering in what looked to be a kitchen. After reassuring her we were not going to kill her we asked her if she had any idea where the accelerator might be, she didn't know but thought it might be on the lower level where the garages were. I asked if she thought she could find her way out and she said yes she could, I wished her well and told her to go ahead and leave. I also took the opportunity to quickly scrub my hands clean. Carth saw me washing my hands and chuckled at me.  
  
We went further into the base and found a lone Twi'lek man in one of the rooms; he knelt and surrendered after only a few blows. I quickly pulled up my blade and backed away from him. He asked that we not kill him and said he wasn't like Brejik and his new Vulkars. He said the Vulkar's hadn't been violent and bloodthirsty before Brejik took over. I asked why he hadn't left before. He said that Brejik wouldn't allow people to leave the gang, at least not alive. I told him he was free to leave, and as he did so he wished us well.  
  
There was a security panel in the area and I took a moment to slice into it to scout out the rest of the base. I quickly realized that we had already covered most of the lower area already. The few rooms that were left however included the barracks and there were eight Vulkars in that room. I decided that it would be unwise to fight such a large group and entered in the commands to overload the power conduit in that area. I went back to the camera a few minutes later and noticed that there was one Vulkar left alive in the room. I nodded to everyone and we headed that way. The one remaining Vulkar would not surrender and I had to kill him, afterward I checked all the bodies and found a passcard to the lower level on one of them. This was what we needed to get down to the next level. We went back to the door with the pass card reader and opened it, and took the elevator down to the next level.  
  
In the garage office I found another pass card and another security terminal. I sliced into it and took a tour of the level using the security cameras, there was a droid in the loading bay and four people in one of the rooms with what I thought might be the accelerator. There was no conduit in the area I could use; we would have to do this the hard way.  
  
The loading dock was a room we probably shouldn't have passed by, the droid had some type of stunning attack that I had to dodge, but we finally took him down and paused to heal ourselves. The chests that it had been protecting contained over 3000 credits and some nice equipment, almost making the fight worth the risk.  
  
When we came across a workbench I think Carth was both amused and annoyed that I insisted that we take the opportunity to install some of the upgrades kindly provided by the Vulkars. I was skilled enough that I only took me 10 minutes to finish the upgrades and Carth had to agree with me that they would give us more of an edge in the upcoming fight. The only door we hadn't touched was the one to the room I suspected the accelerator was in and I knew it would not be an easy fight. Before I opened the door I insisted that everyone use an energy shield, I also used my adrenal implant.  
  
The Twi'lek man in the room tried to talk us into joining the Vulkar's against the Bek's but I had seen too much of what the Vulkar's were like to ever want to be associated with them. I refused their offer and told them I would not betray Gadon. The fight with the four Vulkars was longer than I would have liked and I was thankful that I had insisted upon the use of the energy shields.  
  
We picked up the swoop accelerator and I thought to myself that Brejik was likely to be livid when he found out. Not only did we have the accelerator but we had just killed off a large number of his gang members. We decided to use the front door of the Vulkar base instead of returning through the sewers and quickly made our way back to the Hidden Bek base. 


	7. Taris Who rescued Whom

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own.   
  
Who Rescued Whom  
  
We turned the accelerator over to Gadon. I reminded him of our bargain and he said that he was not going to back out of it. I would be racing under the Hidden Bek colors, and I would be using the swoop with the accelerator. I asked him why he was doing this and he told me that the accelerator was unstable and that he wouldn't ask one of his people to take the risk. If the swoop blew and I was killed, one of his riders would still have a chance to win the race.  
  
I raised an eyebrow and commented that he had all the bases covered. I didn't see another way to accomplish our mission though so I agreed to take the risk. I spent the night at the Hidden Bek base. I rested in the bunk provided and I told myself this was no different than the night before any major mission. I went through the calming exercises we had been taught and was able to finally fall asleep.  
  
In the morning I met with the mechanic, he had been working on the stability of the accelerator and thought it would stand up to a four or five races before it became dangerously overheated. I had him explain the principles behind racing then went out for my first heat. I walked over toward the race announcer, noticing a woman in a cage as I did so.  
  
I paused, realizing that this must be the woman we were trying to rescue. The Vulkar guard didn't object to me looking over what was supposed to be the race prize so I walked over to the cage to check her condition. She had no bruising or other signs of abuse that I could see. There was a neural collar around her neck which explained why she remained a prisoner. She stood slumped barely able to stand under the effects of the neural collar. She was beautiful with her dark brown hair, and pale porcelain skin. I noticed something else as well, she looked amazingly like the woman I had seen in my dream when I had first woke up on Taris.  
  
Seeing her I was more determined than ever I would win this race and free her. I thought back to my experience with Ricco at the base when he had been a captive and under torture and how it had felt, impulsively I attempted the same communication with Bastila. I tried to will her to know that someone was here to rescue her and that it would only be a short while longer before she was free.  
  
Then with determination in my heart I went to the race announcer and told him I was ready for my first heat. The first race went well despite the fact I was learning how to ride the swoop bike, it wasn't too different from some of the one person transports I had used in Covert ops. So I wasn't entirely as inexperienced as I had thought I would be. One of the Vulkars ran a heat after I did and beat my time. I was certain that I could better my time and went out for another heat. I managed to better my time by quite a bit on the next heat and the time stood. I had won!  
  
Brejik though had other ideas, during the presentation he accused me of cheating by using the accelerator and he was withdrawing the victory prize. I was about to argue when the race announcer said that was against the rules and couldn't be done. Brejik announced that the traditions were nothing to him; he was the wave of the future and could do what he wanted.  
  
Then something happened that stunned everyone, Bastila spoke up from the cage "I might have something to say about that, Brejik!" she announced. We all turned and looked and she made a motion with her hand and the cage door fell. She took out the guard with one blow and grabbed up his weapon. Brejik said something about it being impossible for her to free herself and she replied "You underestimate the strength of a Jedi's mind, Brejik a mistake you won't live to regret!" Brejik started screaming for the Vuklars to kill both of us and the battle began.  
  
Jedi Bastila went for Brejik, and I was worried that she might still be confused from the neural disruptor but she was holding her own. I went for the other Vulkars, quickly cutting them down. Redros gave me a slight pause but he was sloppy and I got in a quick stab. I turned around and went to assist Jedi Bastila with Brejik, I came up behind him and attacked and he was dead. I was only panting slightly and I grinned at her and was about to congratulate her when she angrily said "Well, maybe those bloody Vulkars will thing twice next time before trying to keep a Jedi prisoner! And as for you if you think you can collect me as a prize...."  
  
I stared at her this surely wasn't the rescue scene I had anticipated. I had hoped for some gratitude, instead she looked quite ready to attack me! I was about to say something calming when she said "Wait... I don't believe this! You're..." she paused for a long second then said "you're one of the soldiers with the Republic fleet, aren't you? Yes, I'm sure of it. How did you end up racing for these swoop gangs?"  
  
I was feeling a bit resentful but politely said "My name's Cait McDonald. I'm here to save you." Bastila replied in indignation "Save me? Is that what you were trying to accomplish by riding in that swoop race? Well, as far as rescues go this is a pretty poor example. In case you hadn't noticed, I managed to free myself from that neural restraint collar without your help. In fact, it's more accurate to say that I saved you! Brejik and his Vulkars would have left you for dead if I hadn't stepped into that fight. You're lucky I was here to get you out of that mess!"  
  
I couldn't believe this woman, I needed help? She hadn't even managed to finish off Brejik by herself. I had taken out three other gang members then helped her with Brejik. I would have been able to take all four, maybe not without some wounds but I would have been able to take down all of them. I swallowed the disrespectful reply I wanted to give; straightened myself and replied "I think you've got things confused. You were a helpless prisoner until I came along." Ok maybe it wasn't polite but it was a lot better than the reply I wanted to give. She obviously took what I said poorly and replied haughtily "I may have been a prisoner, but a Jedi is never helpless. Maybe you've heard of a little thing called 'the Force'? I narrowly avoided outright gross insubordination by blurting out 'bitch!' and bit my tongue, hard.  
  
Perhaps something in my rigid stance and narrowed eyes finally communicated my anger to her, she said apparently amused at me "But I suppose I shouldn't be too hard on you. You did try to save me after all, even if it didn't go quite as planned. So let's get down to business - we're not out of danger yet. If I'm going to figure out a way for us to get off this planet I need to know what kind of resources we can draw on. First, are we the only two survivors left from the Endar Spire?"  
  
I took a breath and calmed myself, I was a professional soldier and I wasn't about to let some stuck up Jedi, aggravate me into being rude, especially since she was officially my commanding officer for the time being. I said with a measure of calm "We aren't the only survivors. Carth Onasi is alive as well."  
  
Jedi Bastila said "Carth Onasi is alive? Finally, some good news! Carth is one of the Republic's best soldiers. He's proved himself a hero a dozen times over! And he sent you here to save me? Maybe I misjudged you. Carth wouldn't have sent you if he wasn't confident in your... abilities. Forgive me - despite my Jedi training, I still tend to act a bit rashly sometimes. Please, take me to Carth right away. Between the two three of us I'm sure we can figure out some way to get off this planet before the Sith realize we're here."  
  
First she attacks me, then she laughs at me and now she's trying to be polite, for a moment I wondered why we had all risked our lives to save her but then the answer came to me. It was my duty. I replied, "Of course Ma'am, if you would follow me. I will take you to him." I could see her pause for a second then nod and I set out at a brisk pace back toward the apartment.  
  
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Bastila had to almost run to keep up with Cait's ground eating stride. Things hadn't gone well at all but she had been rather shocked when she realized that Revan was the woman who had been fighting with her. The conversation had gone down hill from there, and it was all her fault, she had lost control of her emotions and had reacted out of fear.  
  
She would have to regain control of the situation and get all of them off the planet and to Dantoonie where the Council would know what to do with Revan. She had almost wrecked everything when she had almost called Cait Revan, but she had managed to stop and say soldier instead. You could see the Force swirling around Revan as she walked, and it frightened Bastila. What would happen if she regained her memories!  
  
Cait, she told herself, this is Cait McDonald, don't even think the name Revan. She knew that Cait was still angry with her and she couldn't blame her. Cait had come here to rescue her and she had arrogantly rebuffed her. Bastila felt ashamed of how she had handled that, Cait had reacted with anger at first but then immediately calmed down. Now she was treating her with a precise military formality, and disapproval radiated from her.  
  
Cait led her out of the Lower City, nodding politely to the Sith trooper stationed there and obscuring his view of Bastila. They arrived at the apartment and Carth Onais sprang up at their arrival exclaiming "you're alive! Finally, things are looking up. Now we just need to figure out a way to get off this planet.  
  
Bastila felt her fear rising again and said "You mean you don't have a plan to get off Taris yet? What have you been doing all this time?" Cait replied "We were trying to find you, remember?"  
  
Bastila recited to herself 'there is no emotion there is peace' to calm herself and said "I see. Now that I'm back in charge of this mission, perhaps we can start doing things properly. Hopefully our escape from Taris will go more smoothly than when you "rescued" me from Brejik."  
  
They both stared at her and Carth said "I know you're new at this, Bastila, but a leader doesn't berate her troops just because things aren't going as planned. Don't let your ego get in the way of the real issues here."  
  
Bastila snapped back "That hardly strikes me as an appropriate way of addressing your commander, Carth. I am a member of the Jedi Order and this is my mission. Don't forget that! My battle meditation ability has helped the Republic many times in this war, and it will serve us well here I am sure."  
  
Carth looked at her and she could sense his disappointment, he said "Your talents might win us a few battles, but that doesn't make you a good leader! A good leader would at least listen to the advice of those who have seen more combat than she ever will!" Cait said in a tired tone "Both of you settle down, this isn't helping."  
  
Bastila paused, the masters had warned her not to be too prideful of her abilities and to not let emotions rule her, but that was what she had just been doing. She was letting her fear rule her again and look what was happening. There is no emotion she thought there is peace.  
  
Bastila said "Yes... You're right, of course. I apologize, Carth. This has been a difficult time for me. Of course I'm happy to listen to your advice. What do you suggest we do?"  
  
Carth replied "First off we cant get hung up on whose in charge; we all need to work together if we want to get off this rock. The answers out there, we just have to find it."  
  
Bastila nodded "Well said, Carth. And the sooner we start looking the better; I've already been a prisoner of the Vulkars and I don't plan on being captured by the Sith." Cait looked at both of them and said "Okay, so what now?" Bastila said "I think we'll need some help getting off Taris. Maybe if we ask around one of the locals can help us out. We should probably start by asking around at the cantinas."  
  
Bastila noticed that Cait was looking pale and said "Is... is something wrong? You seem as if something is troubling you." Cait looked at her and Bastila could see the mistrust in her eyes "Forget it, its nothing. I just need to go clean up; I have Vulkar blood all over me." Bastila blinked and said "Of course we should probably both clean up before going back out."  
  
Cait went into the shower and Bastila thought, I wonder what that was, she regretted the fact that Cait obviously didn't trust her enough to tell her what was bothering her but after the way Bastila had treated her it wasn't surprising. I need to apologize again to her, she thought.  
  
Bastila decided to extend her force senses to see what she could sense of Cait, what she saw surprised her. Cait was strongly inclined toward the light, it almost streamed off her. She would have to find out what had occurred while she had been in the hands of the Vulkars. She decided to take this opportunity to find out from Carth what had occurred.  
  
What he told her was amazing, they had saved several peoples lives by assisting them with getting bounties removed from their heads, they had saved several people from the Sith, they had helped the outcasts in the Undercity discover a place for them to go to find shelter. The list of people they had helped while trying to find her was amazing. She complimented Carth but he said that it had all been Cait's doing, she had argued and sometimes outright went against his wishes to help others. There were also two more members of the group that would be joining them shortly a Twi'lek girl and a Wookiee who had swore a lifedebt to Cait.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
I stood in the shower and let the sonic pulses soothe my tense muscles; the Jedi woman had really gotten to me. And then there was the vision that had overcome me for a second when we had been walking back. It had been almost exactly like the vision I had before, now I knew that the woman in the vision was indeed Bastila.  
  
Bastila had been fighting Dark Jedi on the bridge of a ship, a body of a republic soldier had slumped into view and Bastila had cried out angrily "You can not win Revan!" Then I saw the soldier's killer, a figure in black with an environmental mask covering their face. The figure had just elegantly brandished their lightsaber when another ship had fired on the bridge throwing everyone to the ground. I saw Bastila stir and roll over and look at the figure in black who lay unmoving and a sudden look of pity and anguish crossed her face. Then the dream or vision or whatever it had been had faded out.  
  
I had wanted to ask her about it but had changed my mind, she might be acting more reasonably now but the woman was like a rose. Beautiful to look at but all thorns that scratched the hell out of you close up. I was getting wound up again, I cursed myself under my breath and then reminded myself that emotions were to be experienced, understood and then reacted to only if I choose to do so. I had completely been forgetting that and had been reacting to my emotions like some type of green recruit.  
  
I went over the day in my head and realized most of my resentment was due to the dim idea that I had that I would be able to free the barely conscious Jedi, sweep her up in my arms and bear her gently back to the apartment. She would have been trustingly relaxed in my arms with her head resting beneath my chin. HA! that had been a rudely crushed fantasy. Most of my resentment was due to that not happening.  
  
I went over the conversation and decided maybe I should give her another chance. She was young, younger than I, and she had been placed in charge of this mission due to her battle meditation. She had gotten herself captured by a bunch of thugs, a neural disrupter slapped on her and finally stuck in a cage as a prize. I strongly suspected she had been reacting to her embarrassment over needing to be rescued at all. It was not what I associated with Jedi, and probably not how she saw herself. I was surprised the Jedi had let her out of training so obviously before she was ready, but then I thought, her battle mediation. And there had been several senior Jedi on the Endar Spire with her, probably to continue her training and give her guidance.  
  
She had been placed in a position she wasn't ready for due to her ability, and had acted like any nervous green commander given combat troops. When Carth had confronted her over it though, she had backed down and apologized and listened to him. Thank goodness for Carth, I thought, I should have corrected her myself but I was too busy reacting to my emotions. I grumbled some at myself, and resolved to not let my physical attraction for the woman get in the way of my good sense.  
  
I should probably stop treating her rudely as well, I might hide it behind a formal politeness but I had been being rude. And I finally thought she had apologized to me, she had asked me to forgive her before we ever started to the apartment but I had been so angry at the time I barely heard it.  
  
I breathed out a slow breath and let my anger go, I still felt a bit sad, but I had set my own self up for disappointment with my romantic daydreams. I dressed and went back out into the common area.  
  
Bastila and Carth both looked up at me as I approached. Something seemed different Bastila seemed calmer for one thing and more thoughtful. I guess they had had a long discussion while I was getting cleaned up.  
  
I said "Jedi Bastila, I wanted to apologize for my abruptness earlier. I did have something I wanted to ask you about. Something weird happened when we first met. Like a vision" Bastila looked at me puzzled and said "A vision, a vision of what?" I replied "Of you, fighting a dark Jedi. Revan, I guess." I could see her hesitate and she looked paler for a moment, she said "This is... strange. Such visions are often a sign of Force sensitivity." Huh? I thought and said "Force sensitivity? What do you mean?"  
  
Bastila continued "I... I'm not sure. It may be that you have some connection to the Force. It would not be unheard of. When we first met, your natural talent may have fed off my own Force abilities. It is possible that in the excitement of the battle's aftermath the Force allowed you to witness one of my more intense memories." I was very confused now and said "This isn't the first time I had a vision." Bastila replied "The force is complicated; even I with all my training cannot fully understand it yet. This is a matter best left to the wise Masters of the Jedi council. Once we escape Taris we can seek the guidance of the Council, if you wish. They will understand the significance of your vision... if there is any. However, I think it would be best if we all stayed focused on the task at hand right now."  
  
I nodded to her and she went to go clean up herself. What had she been saying? That I was force sensitive? Oh I didn't like the sound of that, I was a Covert Ops soldier not some robe wearing member of a monastic like order who talked of peace and the Force all the time. She might think I was interested in talking to her council, but the only thing I was interested in was getting back to my unit in one piece.  
  
When she came back out she wanted to talk to me again. I sighed to myself but agreed. Bastila said "I would like to know what happened after you crashed on Taris. I'm curious as to know what you and Carth were doing before we all joined forces." I decided to see if I couldn't get her to lighten up some and I gave her a friendly grin and said "Before we rescued you, you mean." The woman was stubborn, she said "I managed to free myself, as I recall. In fact, if I hadn't been there Brejik and his thugs might have killed you in that fight. It's probably more accurate to say that I rescued you." I shook my head at her and said "Can't you just admit that you were rescued?"  
  
Bastila replied "I'll admit that I probably wouldn't have been able to free myself if not for the brawl after the swoop race. I guess I should thank you for that, at least." I raised an eyebrow 'at least?' gezz. She continued quickly "Actually, your presence at the swoop track is what I'm curious about. It couldn't have been an easy task to find me there. Yet somehow you managed. You also avoided detection by the Sith, discovered I was a Vulkar prisoner, gained sponsorship for the race and became the Taris swoop champion. That's quite a resume."  
  
Some imp of mischief took over my mouth and I heard myself say with a chuckle "And rescued the damsel in distress. Don't forget that." Bastila straightened but I could see she could tell she was trying not to get angry with my jesting "Yes... well. I hardly consider myself a damsel in distress. I'm a member of the Jedi Order, after all. But I won't deny you've impressed me with what you've done. When you were chosen to join this mission, I doubt any of us expected this much from you. A Jedi could have done such things, of course, but only by drawing heavily upon the Force."  
  
I was put on the defensive for a moment, I said "I think you're underestimating us non-Jedi" Bastila said "Perhaps. But the Force works through all of us to some degree of another. There are some individuals outside the Jedi Order that we consider 'Force Sensitive'. It is obvious to me that the Force has been working through you. There is no other explanation for your great success, though I am not certain what to make of this discovery. Perhaps if you weren't... well if you were younger the Jedi might take you for training. But as it is..."  
  
I interrupted her "I don't know about all this Force sensitive stuff, I'm a Covert Ops officer. It's not anything we aren't expected to be able to accomplish. Give the credit to my military training for being able to rescue you."  
  
Bastila paused obviously taken a bit aback by my words and finally said "Ah, yes the rescue again. Very well. For what it's worth, I concede the point to you: You rescued me from Brejik. And yet we are still stuck here on Taris. Hopefully between your... abilities, my Jedi training and the skills of our companions we can find a way off this planet."  
  
Difficult woman I thought to myself, my only satisfaction was that she was probably thinking the same thing of me. 


	8. Escape from Taris

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own.   
  
Escape from Taris  
  
As we exited the apartment, Larrim caught my attention and said that he had a message from Canderous Ordo. The Mandalorian wanted to meet us at the upper city cantina. I thanked him for the message, and we decided to go see what he wanted.  
  
Canderous wanted to get off the planet, he was tired of working for Davik and he needed us to steal the Sith launch codes from the Sith military base. Without those he said anyone leaving the atmosphere would be attacked by the Sith fleet's automated defense guns. He figured we were crazy enough to do it. I had to chuckle, after everything else we had done on this planet why not. What was in this for me, I asked. The means to get off the planet, he replied, Davik's flagship the Ebon Hawk. He knew of a droid we could purchase that would allow us to break into the base and told us where to buy it. I asked why he didn't do this himself and he replied that he was too well known. If he broke in the Sith would send an army down to Davik's estate to get the codes back.  
  
I had to agree with that and we agreed to meet him in Javyar's cantina when we had the codes. Break into the Sith military base I thought, sure piece of cake, it wasn't like I hadn't done things like this before anyway.  
  
Carth took the opportunity of our walk to ask Bastila how she had been captured. She explained that her Force powers had been drained during the battle, when the escape pod landed she had 'misplaced' her lightsaber and had been overwhelmed by the Vulkars. I shared Carth's sense of amusement at this but said that he should leave her alone. I didn't need the two of them angry at each other right before we tried to get the codes. Carth relented and said that she might want to leave that detail out of her reports. Bastila agreed that she would consider doing so.  
  
The purchase price of the droid was 2000 credits; it was a good thing we had picked up so many credits at the Vulkar base I thought as I paid the purchase price. There was only one way into the Sith base, the front door. We watched anxiously as the droid broke the codes on the door and it opened. I grinned and said "show time" and walked boldly into the base.  
  
There was a Twi'lek woman at the reception desk; she didn't believe my tale of having an appointment so I bluntly said "Don't hit the alarm. I don't want to have to hurt you." She asked us not to hurt her and I told her to go ahead and leave, which she promptly did.  
  
I knew we would have to fight our way through this place and our only hope was that we would be able to attack small groups instead of large concentrations of troopers. I said "Ok hit hard and hit fast and take them down before they have time to raise a general alarm, we can't stand up to a large force." Everyone nodded soberly and I used my stim implant and opened the first door. It was a brief and hard fight. Bastila was a very good fighter I noticed, the lightsaber cut through the troopers armor like it wasn't there. And afterward she was able to use her Force powers to heal us. I waved off her help when she got to me, my wounds had already healed. She looked puzzled for a second then shook her head and went to help Mission.  
  
We found a security terminal in the third room and used the system to scout out the base. I made sure everyone had a good look at what we had to face and was able to disable the shield on a particularly nasty looking assault droid as well as disable all the patrol droids. Bless the Sith and their continued reliance on droids, they always made it so much easier for me. There wasn't much else I was able to do but I was optimistic about our chances after viewing the cameras. There were a lot less personnel than I had anticipated in the base.  
  
In the next large room we found the Duros that we had run into and saved during my first trip out of the apartment a few days ago. The Sith had found out he had removed the bodies and were going to execute him. I asked how to get him out and he told me. I examined the panels he spoke of and thought about how to manipulate them so that he would be released and not executed. I could not mess up. I breathed a sigh of relief when the panels all went red and the Duros was released and told him to get out of here as quickly as he could.  
  
We walked along the hallway past the disabled droids and I patted one fondly as I went by it. Bastila looked at me oddly and I chuckled and said "I love the Sith, I can always count on them to make things easy by using a lot of droids." I realized I was treading too close to classified mission information and stopped. But she looked as if the answer satisfied her and didn't say anything else.  
  
The fight in the barracks was the hardest one but even then it wasn't that hard. As Bastila healed everyone again I went through the bodies and found what I had been hoping for a base pass card. She came to heal me and once again I waved her off, this time I just said "good reflexes I guess" and didn't give her time to reply.  
  
The next fight was the droid and I bore the brunt of its attack. I did get hurt in this one. Bastila came over after the droid was down and began to heal me but realized that my wounds were healing as she watched. I grabbed her arm and said in a low voice "you're healing me ok, say nothing about this" and kept her between me and the rest of the group. She look startled but nodded and said nothing but I could feel her eyes on me afterward and knew I would have to tell her something.  
  
We went up to the control tower and there was one person up there the Sith Govenor. I gave him a chance to surrender but he just laughed and attacked. He was using force powers and was more of a difficult opponent than I expected. He attacked Bastila right off and put her on the defensive, leaving himself open to my attack. He had managed to knock Bastila back and off balance using his force powers and was about to attack her when I went for a strength attack and carved through his armor and killed him. I didn't usually do that since it left one almost defenseless if it was countered but he had been in a good position to possibly seriously hurt or kill Bastila and besides, I attacked from behind.  
  
I went over to Bastila gave her a reassuring look, she was a bit pale. It hadn't escaped her notice that she had been in a bad position right before I had killed him. I checked the body and the storage containers in the area and then waved the data pad with the launch codes triumphantly. We had what we came for now to get out of here.  
  
Our luck was uncanny, no one had managed to raise any alarms and no one noticed when we exited the base and walked to the lower city elevator. I coolly flashed my pass at the Sith trooper there and we went down. Mission could hardly suppress her giggles over my boldness.  
  
We meet up with Canderous at the cantina and he said that he would get us onto Davik's Estate by saying we were interested in joining the exchange. Davik would invite us to stay for a few days while he checked us out. We would use the opportunity to steal the Ebon Hawk. Only two of us could go with him and I sent everyone back but Bastila to wait in the apartment. With any luck by tonight we would be back to pick them up.  
  
Davik met us and showed us around his Estate, the tour included the Ebon Hawk. She looked like a fast ship but was protected by shields to prevent theft. We would need to find the codes to lower the shields before we could take the ship. Davik said that we would be his guests for the next few days while he ran some background checks. He told us to not stray past the guest quarters or his security forces would deal harshly with us.  
  
I grinned at Canderous after he had left and said "shall we go see how harsh his security guards are?" Bastila sighed at the both of us and shook her head. For some reason I liked Canderous, even though I knew his morals were very different from mine.  
  
Davik's guards were not as good as he thought, and we didn't have much trouble with them. I noted with amusement that Bastila wasn't as worried as she had been over me getting slight cuts, she came over to check that I was doing ok after each fight and I could see her watching me heal with a curious look at me. I noticed that Canderous seemed to be doing the same thing but at a much lower rate, his implant must not be as good as mine I thought.  
  
We found a man in a torture cage and released him. My luck was continuing, he had been the pilot of the Ebon Hawk and knew the security codes and was more than happy to give them to us in thanks. We now had the codes we needed, it was time to get out of here.  
  
Suddenly something odd occured, the base shuddered as if under heavy fire. Maybe the Sith had found out about the codes we had stolen. I knew that Bastila and Canderous were aware of it as well as we sprinted toward the hangar. We opened the doors to the hangar bay and entered it. The cause for the explosions was obvious, the Sith fleet was attacking the planet. I was dumbfounded; it seemed an odd way to go about attacking Davik's Estate if they wanted the codes back. Who knew what the Sith were thinking anyway, we had more things to worry about as I heard a Davik's voice say "Thieves in the hangar." I saw Davik and Calo Nord running in from the opposite side of the hangar.  
  
"Energy shield's up" I said in a low voice and then continued as Davik and Calo threatened us, "use grenades first, and then close." When the firing began we relied on our energy shields to hold through a few rounds and lobbed sonic and thermal grenades at the two figures. Our trip into the Sith base had netted us quite a few of these and I had of course picked them up when I noticed them in the Sith Armory.  
  
Suddenly Calo yelled "You may have me outnumbered and outgunned, but if I'm going down I'm taking all of you with me! This is a thermal detonator and will blow us all to bits!" He held it up over his head then cursed the Sith. Prophetically it turned out I thought as I saw a large piece of the hangar bay scaffolding fall on him and Davik. We took the opportunity to run over to Davik and verify he was dead; Canderous picked up the body and took it with us as we ran toward the ship. I paused and deactivated the codes and looked at him quizzically, and he said "I want the armor he's wearing, its specialty made." It was a bit macabre but yea why waste good armor, "just dump the body as soon as possible" I said as we entered the ship and he dropped the body by the airlock and nodded to me. We all sprinted to the controls and Canderous piloted the ship back to the city.  
  
It was not just the Estate they were attacking we realized it was the entire city. I was stunned, there was only one reason I could think of for this. They were trying to kill Bastila and were willing to bring down the entire city to do it. Sith madness, I thought. Then with a pang I remembered the Undercity dwellers, maybe they had made it far enough from the city to not be affected by this, they had been on the move for almost three days so there was a good chance they were past the attack radius. I was more concerned about our companions but they were waiting for us at the hangar bay nearest the apartment. And entered the ship as soon as it the boarding ramp lowered. Carth took over the controls and piloted us out of the wreckage the city was quickly becoming. We made it out of the planets atmosphere and Bastila insisted that we head for Dantoonie to seek refuge; Carth interrupted "Incoming fighters." I was already sprinting for the turrets, this was one task I could do. It took me a few passes but I was good with handling gun turrets and was able to take out all the attacking fighters before they were able to do much damage to our shields.  
  
I walked back to the cockpit of the ship, Bastila and Carth were arguing over whether or not Dantoonie was a safe place to go. I sided with Bastila if only for the reason that I needed to turn her over to the Jedi Order before I could go back to my unit.  
  
Bastila said "We can get supplies here and recuperate. The Academy is a place of mental and spiritual healing; something we could all use after what we've been through." Carth replied "Maybe you're right. It isn't easy to witness the annihilation of an entire planet. I know Mission must be taking it pretty hard." "Entire planet?" I asked, I had been in the gun turret and hadn't seen much of the attack of the planet. Carth looked at me and nodded, "they were attacking more than just the city from what I could see." I felt a cold pit in my stomach but realized that I couldn't deal with my own feelings just yet.  
  
Bastila looked saddened and said "Mission will find a way to come to terms with her grief. She is stronger than she appears. We just need to give her time." I thought to myself, yes she is but she can also use a friend, and went to find the young Twi'lek.  
  
I found her working on some tunneling spikes at a workbench in one of the ships compartments. She looked up at me as if just noticing I was there when I touched her shoulder. "Huh? Oh.... sorry. I was thinking of Taris. I still can't believe it's gone! I mean, I grew up there and now it's ... it's... it's just gone." I hugged her and said. "I'm sorry... I don't know what to say."  
  
Misson said "I don't think there is anything you can say. I just have to find some way to deal with it, I guess. It'll take some time." I looked at her with concern and she said "Look, I'm not saying I can't go on or anything like that. It's just... it's a shock, you know? I mean, I knew the Sith were evil and all, but the reality of it kind of slaps you in the face. But I suppose that's why we need to stop Malak, right?" I nodded to her and said "If you ever need someone to listen or just need a hug remember I'm here, ok? and I'm your friend." She nodded and hugged me back and went back to her work. I could tell she was using it to distract herself but I wasn't surprised her emotions about Taris had to be fairly complicated given that there was much of her life there she had hated.  
  
I walked back to the bunk areas to deal with my own feelings of remorse and fear; I knew there was nothing I could have done to change things. I had no control over Malak's decision to bombard the planet but I felt responsible somehow. I guess because I had managed to rescue Bastila. Maybe somehow he had known she was about to get away. But there certainly hadn't been any other choice; it wasn't like I could have decided not to rescue her. Anyway he probably would have bombarded the planet if she has still been a Vulkar captive, he had probably been reacting to how much time had passed without the Sith finding her. I accepted that there was nothing I could have possibly done to stop the bombardment and went on to dealing with the next feeling.  
  
Fear, I didn't want to think about Shaarena, Rukil and Gendar being caught in that bombardment. Maybe the damage didn't go down that far I thought. Most of the paths they were taking were through the sewer systems. It would be amazingly hard from space to manage to strike that far down given how tall the buildings were, maybe the damage was fairly contained to the upper levels I thought. Then I felt guilty for forgetting all the people we had helped, several innocent and kind people existed in the upper levels. I shouldn't be thinking that it was better or worse for the attack to fall on the Upper city as the Undercity. I thought of the kind doctor and all the people I had helped and was overcome with grief. I realized that I needed to deal with these emotions and experience my grief before it poisoned me, besides there wasn't much of a chance that I would be able to retain my calm for much longer.  
  
I sat on the edge of the bunk and let myself feel the grief and anguish, and cried for all of them and for myself. I had always been a silent crier and so was surprised when Bastila sat down beside me and put an arm around my shoulder, I hadn't even noticed her come in I thought surprised. She looked at me troubled and said "is there anything you want to talk about?". She wasn't the person I would have thought of to turn to for comfort but the fights in the Sith base and Davik's estate had formed a tentative friendship between us. She had protected me and I had protected her, and we both knew now that we could rely on the other.  
  
So I didn't reject her offer, instead I leaned against her and tried to explain what I was feeling. I talked about the people we had helped and my feeling of whether or not it had meant anything at all now. Bastila said to me "of course it meant something, even if they are dead now, you were kind to them and gave them their back their freedom to live. Whether or not those lives were long or not, at least they were able to walk about and live without fear of being killed by a bounty hunter after you helped them."  
  
I thought about what she had said and nodded, it was true at least they hadn't died still afraid and hiding in the apartments as I had found them. They had walked out of those apartments with hope, and the length of their lives didn't diminish that in any way.  
  
I opened up and explained what was bothering me the most, all the people that were making the dangerous trek to what was hopefully an underground colony. I spoke of how their plight had moved me when I had first went to the Undercity, my crazy impulsive decisions to help them by protecting them from attacks and by getting the serum for them. Finally I described the search for the journals and realizing that their Promised Land wasn't a myth but had a good chance of being a reality.  
  
I could see her trying to think of something to say after this but I said "I don't know if they are dead or not, there is a chance that the bombardment didn't reach that far down, I may never know. I just need deal with my feelings of guilt over hoping they are alive while knowing that those above them are dead. I just have a lot of confused feelings right now." I paused a moment then asked hoping that she wouldn't choose this moment to go all Jedi on me and asked "could... , could you just hold me for awhile and let me cry please that's what I really need." I waited for her acceptance or rejection and felt her stillness at my request. I thought to myself; don't take it personally if she says no McDonald.  
  
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Bastila had been on the bridge thinking with sadness of all the lives lost on Taris when she felt Cait's grief. She realized with shock that the bond between them which had been almost unnoticeable for the past two years had become stronger now that she was near Cait again.  
  
She was uncertain what to do, she should wait for the Masters council on how to deal with the entire situation but how could she not respond to Cait. These emotions might lead her down the path to the dark side. She reluctantly and with some trepidation went to find her. She found Cait in the bunk area, with her hands over her face crying silently. She went over to the bunk and put an arm around Cait's shoulder and felt Cait start and then look at her. Her eyes were reddened and the pain in them tore at Bastila.  
  
Bastila said "is there anything you wanted to talk about?" She could see Cait look at her warily but then Cait leaned against her and started talking about the people she had meet on Taris, about finding them fearful in different places about the things she had done for them so that the bounties were lifted. Cait was wondering if it had been worth it given that they were probably dead now, Bastila argued with her and told her that surely they had felt their freedom had been worth something to them. Bastila could tell that she was listening to her and that she accepted her words.  
  
Cait started talking about the people of the Undercity, Bastila was amazed by her compassion toward them, obviously something about them had moved her deeply. She had risked her own life several times in order to try and help them. Bastila realized how much it had meant to her to find the journals and to think that they were going to be able to lead better lives once they found the underground colony. Bastila didn't know what to say to her that she wasn't already saying to herself and was at a loss when Cait said as much and then asked her to just stay with her and hold her while she cried. Bastila thought about what Cait had asked trying to figure out what to do, she didn't want to reject Cait, the last time she had done that look at what had happened.  
  
Bastila realized she was afraid of holding Cait because she feared the emotions that it would awake in her. She had convinced herself over the past two years that she had gotten over the attraction she had felt for Revan. Now it was all coming back, the woman in front of her was not the Revan she remembered. If anything she was more attracted to the person Cait was than she had ever been attracted to the brash bold Revan. Cait was much more thoughtful, and oddly enough more gentle, even though she was one of the best fighters Bastila had seen outside of the Jedi Order.  
  
Bastila couldn't reject Cait just because she was afraid of her own feelings she thought, she had done that once before to Revan. She wasn't going to reject Cait's request for companionship now. So she gathered Cait closer to her, stroked Cait's back and was silent while she cried and tried not to dwell on how right it felt. Neither realized when they fell asleep.  
  
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I woke from a wonderful dream, and realized was sleeping in Bastila's arms my head pillowed against her chest. I grinned slightly to myself and thought no wonder my sleep was so pleasant. Reluctantly I levered myself up and glanced back at the sleeping woman; ouch I thought that's going to hurt if she keeps sleeping in that position. "Bastila, honey you need to lie down." I winced and hoped she hadn't noticed the slip but she was still mostly asleep and grumbled at me some. I don't think she really woke up but slipped down into the bunk instead of upright against the bulkhead. At least the clothes she was wearing were loose enough to sleep in; I undressed down to my underclothes then chuckled to myself and slipped back into bed with her. The morning would probably bring me some new thorn scratches but what the hell.  
  
As I slipped back into bed she cuddled up against my back and wrapped her arms around me, I laid staring for awhile wondering if I was reading the entire situation correctly. Maybe my feelings for her weren't all one sided after all, but I would have to go slowly and feel out the ground as I went. I finally fell asleep again, though it was difficult to relax with her breathing softly against my neck and pressed up against my back.  
  
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Canderous went to the bunk area to stow his gear and looked at the two women sleeping so close together and was quiet so as not to waken them then returned to the cockpit. He said to Carth "Well Cait is sleeping well tonight, I don't know how she managed it but she got the Jedi princess to share her bed already."  
  
Carth stared at him with his mouth open; Canderous laughed "You hadn't noticed? How could you not have?" He shook his head and decided to go strip Davik of his armor and dispose of the body before it started smelling, leaving Carth with his thoughts.  
  
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Bastila awoke slowly, pleasantly warm and realized she was lying in a bunk and holding a sleeping Cait in her arms. She froze wondering how she had gotten there and attempted to unwrap herself from Cait without waking her. No such luck though, Cait stirred and yawned and rolled to her back and smiled up at her. "Morning" Cait said, "thanks for staying with me last night, I had thought I might have nightmares about stuff but you must have kept them away."  
  
Bastila grabbed at the proffered explanation and said "of course, I'm glad that I could help you." She made the mistake of looking at Cait as she did so and saw the merriment in Cait's eyes and knew that neither one of them were fooled but Cait was giving her a graceful way out of the situation. Cait nodded and rolled over and sat on the edge of the bed and began stretching.  
  
Bastila couldn't help but notice the full sized tattoo of a crimson correlian sand panther on her back, the animal was depicted crouched, muscles coiled and ready, eyes intent on some prey. Below the front paws was a ribbon with the words "Death comes on silent feet." Bastila watched Cait stretch and thought about how different Cait was from what she remembered of Revan. Jedi Knight Maria's words came back to her, 'she is her own unique person.'  
  
Bastila got up and said "I must speak to the Council as soon as we get on Dantoonie." Cait nodded and she looked sad, Bastila wondered why but Cait said "I expect I will be returning to my unit after we return you to Dantoonie. My assignment to your mission is done, and I expect command will want me to get back as soon as possible for a debriefing."  
  
Bastila blinked and said "But... you must see the council about your Force sensitivity." Cait looked at her and shrugged and said "It doesn't really matter; I can't just go off on my own and make commitments like that Bastila. I don't have that freedom, I'm a Covert Ops officer and I have to report back into my commander no matter what your Jedi Council might want me to do. And I'm not so sure I want to become a Jedi anyway." Cait's eyes spoke her regrets to Bastila but her body posture and the feelings Bastila was getting through the link made Cait's determination to do what she saw as the correct thing clear. Cait had given Bastila the graceful excuse because she thought that she would never see her again.  
  
Bastila thought I shall have to report to the council that if they should decide to train her that they will have to get her command to approve it, she will not even consider accepting the training without those orders. Once again she was struck by how different Cait was, she wasn't blindly obedient, she was proud of being an officer in the Covert Ops and would not act in any way that she thought would bring any dishonor on that position. If only Revan had been as proud of being a Knight of the Jedi Order, Bastila thought. 


	9. Dantooine  New Orders

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own. Dantooine – New Orders  
  
Bastila had left the ship to report to the Jedi Council over an hour ago. I expected they would want to talk to me for a debriefing before I left to go back to my unit. Bastila came back and said "I have spoken briefly with the Council; they request and audience with you. We should go at once."  
  
Carth said "An audience with the Jedi Council? That's pretty unusual for someone who isn't even a Jedi. What's this about Bastila?" Bastila replied "I'm sorry; Carth, but I cannot tell you. All I ask is that you trust in the Force and the wisdom of the Council. Come, they are expecting us. I will lead you to the Council chambers."  
  
I followed thinking of what I could say during what I was sure was to be a fairly ordinary debriefing no matter what Carth seemed to think. They probably wanted to know of our actions during Bastila's rescue.  
  
Bastila and Carth had gone on ahead and I was following them ordering my thoughts when a young woman stopped me asking why I was not wearing the robes of the Order? I drew myself up and replied that she must be mistaken I was Lt. Catherine McDonald assigned to Bastila's command. I could see that I had confused her and she said something about Bastila and her Battle Meditation, but she had a foolish pride in it, I stopped myself from chuckling but just barely. She apparently thought I was joking and said something again about seeing the Force within me. I looked directly at her and told her I was telling the truth. She finally recognized how rude she was being and apologized. I could tell she was young, but did they teach these people nothing about manners and how to think before they opened their mouths?  
  
I walked into the Council chambers, I recognized one of the Jedi what was his name? Master Zhar I thought it was. The Twi'lek Jedi who I recognized said "Ah, so you are the one who rescued Bastila. It is appropriate that you are here. We have been discussing your rather special case. I am Zhar, a member of the Jedi Council. With me are Master Vrook, Master Vandar and, of course, the Chronicler of our Academy, Master Dorak."  
  
I nodded to each and said "What did you want from me?"  
  
Master Zhar said "Bastila tells us you are strong in the Force. We are considering you for Jedi training."  
  
I looked at him and said "I cannot possibly accept your offer, I must return to my command as soon as possible."  
  
They stirred and Master Vrook said "Master Zhar speaks out of turn, perhaps. We need indisputable proof of your strong affinity to the force before we would even consider accepting you for training. And as you said you have other duties to consider."  
  
Bastila said "Proof? Surely the entire Council can feel the strength of the Force within her... and I have already related to you the events that took place on Taris..." she trailed off. I had not moved during all of this and I could tell they all looked at me. I kept calm and thought of my duty, they could say what they wanted I would be leaving to meet up with my unit soon.  
  
Master Vrook said "Perhaps it was simple luck." Master Zhar said "We both know there is no luck. There is only the Force. We all feel the power in Bastila's companion, though it is wild and untamed. Now that this power has begun to manifest itself, can we safely ignore it?" Master Vrook said "The Jedi training is long and difficult, even when working with a young and open mind. Teaching a child is hard. How much harder will it be for an adult to learn the ways of the Jedi?"  
  
I realized he was looking at me and I said "Sir? I would have no idea how hard it would be for me to learn. But as I said I must report into my unit, I do not have authorization to accept any training offer."  
  
He raised his eyebrows at this and Master Dorak spoke up "Traditionally the Jedi do not accept adults for training, though there are rare exceptions in the history of our Order. But you are a special case." Master Vandar said "I agree with Master Dorak. Many of our own pupils are leaving the Jedi order to follow the Sith teachings, we need recruits to stand against Malak! With Revan dead..."Master Vrook interrupted "Are you certain Revan is truly dead? What if we should undertake to train this one and the Dark Lord should return?"  
  
I was rapidly getting confused had they heard nothing I had said about having to return to my unit? And what was this about Revan returning, everyone knew Revan was dead.  
  
Master Vandar said "We should discuss this matter more fully in private. Bastila, you and your companion must go. This is a matter for the council alone."  
  
Bastila agreed and we returned to the Ebon Hawk, Bastila seemed subdued but I needed some time alone. I wandered back into the bunk area and decided to put my mandovil back together again. I pulled out all the pieces and set to assembling the instrument. Bastila came back as I finished and looked at me puzzled. I chuckled and set about tuning the instrument. "Where did you get that?" she asked. I replied "I've always had it; I just never took it out on Taris because there was never time to play." Bastila asked "When did you learn how to play an instrument?" she sounded surprised and I glanced at her. I said "We all had to pick up some form of creative expression at the Covert Ops Academy, this was what I choose." I had to laugh at her look when I said that, I guess it did sound like an odd skill to pick up an advanced combat training.  
  
I had finished tuning it to my satisfaction and started on a simple song, I needed to practice with it again I thought my fingers are getting rusty. Bastila kept on staring at me as if I had grown a second head or something, and I finally asked "Why are you staring at me like this surprises you so?" She blushed and said "It doesn't seem to go with... well with the tattoo... and your combat training... it just seems odd..." she trailed off.  
  
I chuckled and said "The academy was very interested after several defections of key units after the Mandalorian Wars in making sure that never happened again. So they brought in some psychologists and devised training and testing to make sure that only the most stable and loyal of the recruits actually made it to the end of training." She stared at me and nodded "so this was part of the training they started?" she asked. I said "Yes, some of us did art like painting and sculpture, some of us took up music. I thought it odd at first but it did help me deal with a lot of things. You can put emotions into music that are hard to express in words."  
  
With that I shifted to one of my own compositions that I had worked on to help me deal with the woman who had been slowly killing her humanity. It was angry and raging and sad and crying and I could tell that she picked up on the emotions though she had no idea what it the music had been about. "What was that" she said after I had finished. I said "Well I guess I can tell you about this, this was what I wrote about one of the Sith that we did a case study off." Bastila gave me a look and said "You studied Sith?" in an incredulous voice. "We watched training videos of some interviews with them yes, it was designed to help us understand them better and to understand why they had become Sith." I said. I could see her struggling to understand why they would want us to do that and I said "When you understand your enemy, you know what to expect from them better. We learned to understand some of the Sith ways of thinking and we learned how they had become what they were. So that we could avoid the same pitfalls, and avoid walking down the paths they had walked."  
  
"In this case though, I wrote this because this woman moved me to pity her. We were allowed to ask her questions through the holo and she would answer if she wanted to. She raged at us calling us pathetic weaklings and trying to get us to be as mad as she was. The more we stayed calm the angrier she would get. I finally asked her why our questions hurt her so much and she just screamed at me. I had to turn away at that point because suddenly I saw what was hurting her."  
  
Bastila had been quiet but said "What did you see in her?" I replied "That she was killing herself with her actions, each thing she did that was cruel she did in a way to herself. Each person she hurt she hurt herself inside. It was like she was trying to destroy herself and reflected it upon the world around her. I saw her for the maddened pain filled creature that she was and stopped hating her and began to feel pity for her and compassion."  
  
I stopped and said "The next interrogation with her I asked her why she was punishing herself so, and she yelled at me and asked why I would say that. She was afraid of me I think. I told her I could see the pain she was in, and she yelled at me again that she didn't need my pity. I told her she could stop hurting herself that we could help her and she looked so stricken and said that she could not stop she had gone too far. I said that if she still felt pain then she was still alive, that somewhere inside herself she was still a good person and that I had faith in her that she was strong enough to make the journey. She started crying and asked how and I told her about this damn training hill that we had to run up again and again until we felt we would die. She got a bit mad not understanding what I was saying at first but I told her she could make it up her hill just like I managed to make it up mine. Don't look at the top of the hill it doesn't matter, just concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other and don't stop. The top of the hill will come of in its own time; you just have to keep moving forward and not stop. I told her that we would all be with her in her struggle, that we would help her however we could and the guys started cheering and telling her she could do it that they thought she was strong enough. It got to be quite a rowdy session and the instructors had to eventually break it up. I think they were astonished at the outcome of the session. They decided during that session to work on the break in her attitude that I had opened and managed to rehabilitate her. We were allowed to write to her during her rehabilitation and later she was allowed to come and see us toward the end of our training. We all hugged and she thanked us for giving her back her life again."  
  
I stopped talking and started playing again, this time the song was hopeful and soaring and spoke of pain faced and struggle but victory at the end of the struggle.  
  
I looked at Bastila and she had the oddest look on her face, I said chuckling "What's that look for? It's not like I really did anything the therapists who worked with here did the actual work. I just provided an opening, not that much really."  
  
Bastila just looked at me and said "You are much more than I thought you would be when we asked for a translator. I had no idea your training included all of that; I guess I had just assumed it would have been all combat training. But I was wrong I see. Thank you for sharing that with me and your music."  
  
With that she walked away and I was puzzled, something more had just gone on and I was clueless to what it could be.  
  
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That night she had another dream. In it she could see figures standing in front of a stone door of some type. She though the two might be Revan and Malak. Revan paced thinking in front of the door and Malak was saying something about the dark side being powerful here. He asked whether or not this was worth the risk and mentioned that the Order would surely banish them if they found out. The figure who I thought was Revan did not say anything but waved a hand in front of the door and it opened it and went through with Malak trailing after. Malak was asking whether or not something called a star forge was worth this as they walked toward some type of device on the floor of the room they had just entered. Then the dream faded.  
  
I went looking for everyone and found Carth outside the ship. He said "This morning is getting stranger by the minute. First Bastila comes out looking like she saw a ghost, and now you. Well, Bastila did mention that you should go to the Council chambers before she left. It's no doubt urgent so you shouldn't keep them waiting"  
  
I nodded to him trying to shake the dream from my head and order my thoughts, and then I proceeded to the Council chambers.  
  
Master Vandar said as I entered "Bastila has told us of a most unusual development. She claims you and she have shared a dream, a vision of Malak and Revan in the ancient ruins here on Dantooine." I started in astonishment, 'shared vision' I thought and glanced at Bastila; she had seen it as well?  
  
Master Vandar continued "These ruins have long been known to us, but we believed them to be merely burial mounds. Perhaps they are more than we first suspected, if Revan and Malak found something there." He paused and looked at me. I decided he was waiting for confirmation and said "Yes... they seemed to be searching for something."  
  
Master Vandar said "Bastila has described this shared dream to the Council in great detail. We feel it is more than a dream. It is a vision. The Force is acting through you as it acts through Bastila." I felt like I was in some strange dream and said disbelieving "I am having visions now?"  
  
Master Zhar said "You and Bastila share a powerful connection to the Force... and each other. This is not unheard of. Connections often form between Master and student, but rarely does a bond develop so quickly." I stared at him astonished by what he had said trying to make sense of the words. A bond between us, I knew we were attracted to each other but was he saying there was more to it than that? And master and student... ah well that wasn't my idea of our relationship.  
  
Master Vandar spoke up and said "Whatever dangers may lie ahead, we cannot ignore the destiny that has brought you and Bastila here to us. Together."  
  
I was so lost here; I asked "What are you talking about?"  
  
Master Vandar sighed and said "You and she are linked, as is your fate to hers. Together, you two may be able to stop Darth Malak and the Sith."  
  
Suddenly Master Vrook chimed in "But do not let your head be filled with visions of glory and power! Such thoughts are the path to the dark side. The way of the light is long and difficult, as you must learn. Are you ready for such a hardship?"  
  
I stared at him wondering what the hell he was talking about and then recollected myself and said "I have already stated that I cannot accept any offers of training, I must report to my command."  
  
Master Dorak said "As to that I have some orders here for you."  
  
He handed me a data pad and I reluctantly accepted it, I had the strong sense my fate was about to be sealed. I read the data pad and was surprised by the first order; I was to be promoted to a full Lieutenant. I had received an early promotion. The second order was the one I dreaded, I was to be assigned indefinitely to the Jedi Order. I was to follow what ever course of action they directed for the good of the Republic.  
  
The third item on the data pad was a letter from my commander. He said that he didn't know the details of what was going on but that the Jedi had determined that I had an important part to play in defeating Malak. He knew that I was to undergo Jedi training and told me that he expected no less of me than that I was to do my best. He said that I though I was on indefinite orders to the Jedi Order for me to always remember that I was still a member of Covert Ops. The last made me feel better; it meant that I still had somewhere I belonged. He went on to say that all of my files would be sent to the Jedi Order shortly and that I was now authorized to reveal to them whatever information I felt was necessary for the success of the mission. I re-read my orders and then looked back up at the Jedi Council.  
  
Master Vandar said "Understand that there is little choice in this matter, for you or us. Across the galaxy the numbers of our Order dwindle. We have sent many Jedi in quest of a way to thwart Malak's advance... many have not returned. The Sith hunt the Jedi down like animals, ambushing and assassinating our brothers wherever they are found. We fear it is only a matter of time until they discover even this hidden refuge."  
  
Master Zhar said "If Malak is not stopped the Republic will fall, and the Jedi will be hunted to extinction. The galaxy will enter a time of darkness and tyranny not seen for a thousand generations."  
  
Master Vandar spoke "The Council had decreed that you and Bastila must investigate the ancient ruins you dreamed of.... once the Council deems you ready. Before we send you to investigate the ruins, you must be trained in the ways of the Jedi so that you can resist the darkness within yourself... within all of us. Otherwise you are doomed to fail."  
  
He paused and I replied "As you wish, Master Vandar. I will do my best."  
  
Master Zhar nodded and said "We must begin your training at once. You have a destiny upon you that you must be prepared to face. The entire fate of the galaxy is upon you."  
  
I stared at him thinking of an old Covert Ops joke that 'fate of the galaxy' in your orders actually meant, 'this mission is so dangerous that we are preparing your funeral speech right now.' 


	10. Dantooine  Jedi Training

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own. Dantooine – Jedi Training  
  
So began my Jedi training, it was both different and like my Covert Ops training. Physically less emphasis was placed on sheer strength and more on precise control and dexterity. Weapons training focused on melee combat, an area I thought I knew well but quickly came to find out that I still had much to learn about.  
  
I had told Master Zhar and Bastila about my implants early in the training and Bastila had commented that she had thought it had to be something like that but why hadn't I just told her on Taris. I pointed out that the regeneration implant I had was far superior to what was generally available and that I didn't want anyone cutting into me to get my implants. Presented with that possibility, she had to agree that that it was probably wise and that we should continue to keep the existence of my implants a secret. I think that she felt better knowing about them, it explained why I was so dexterous and where I got my strength in combat.  
  
I knew that none of the Jedi were pleased that I could choose to terminate my life. I suspected that the wonderful holo of a captured Covert Ops soldier taking just that choice had something to do with it. I watched rather impassively, proud of the noble choice the man had made rather than betray the Republic, but the Masters and Bastila appeared rather shaken afterwards. It wasn't the neatest of deaths I had to admit, but it was quite sudden and unstoppable once it began. I remembered in training that we had gotten a moment of satisfaction out of the futile attempts of the Sith interrogators to stop the man from dying, they had undoubtedly been disciplined harshly for the failure. Since the implants essentially exploded there was also nothing left for them to find in an autopsy. I had come to find the option rather comforting, but Bastila stared at me like I was insane when I told her that. I just shrugged and said that I was quite certain there were things worse than death to be found in the hands of the Sith. She shuddered but I could see that my point had been made.  
  
I learned how to meditate to connect with the Force, and I realized that I had made attempts in the past to do so. Maybe I had been able to speak to Ricco, I thought.  
  
I read the teachings of the Masters of the Order and tried to understand their meaning. Some things I agreed with and some things I disagreed with. Love was one of them, while I understood their concern that it could lead to the dark side and I was more than willing to admit that love could turn into hate. I didn't think that shunning it was the correct answer. I could see why Bastila was avoiding our feelings for each other if she had been taught that to fall in love meant that you would fall to the dark side. I just couldn't see that one had to follow the other unless love soured and turned into hate.  
  
Bastila became a good friend during my training, I had always been attracted to her but now we got to know one another. I told her a great deal about myself, that I could not remember anything before my fleet basic training, about the rescue camp. She seemed sad that I had no idea who my parents were other than the information I had on my military records. I said that it bothered me some but I didn't dwell on it.  
  
She managed to get most of my history from me and was both shocked and amused by my tale of meeting Maraya. She shook her head at me and said that she didn't want to hear anymore after I made it clear that Maraya and I had been intimate with each other. I chuckled at her and got another one of her lectures. I wondered if she realized how much like Master Vrook she sounded, it wasn't surprising though given that he seemed to be her particular Master. I had been annoyed at first but now I only listened to her with half an ear when she started with them as they usually seemed to be as much for her own benefit as mine.  
  
I learned about her life here at the Academy but she was unwilling to discuss much about her life before the Academy. I knew her father had been a hunter and that she had traveled around the galaxy with her farther and mother before she had been sent to the Academy. But that was all she was willing to say about her family.  
  
I know she came to understand how close I was to my squad mates, how they were all the family I had and she said that she wished that I would come to think the same about my fellow Jedi. I glanced at her and chuckled and she blushed, but I held my tongue and didn't embarrass her further. It was fun to bait her sometimes but she would withdraw for hours after I had managed to annoy her so I only did it when she was being her most preachy.  
  
I also had time to talk to the friends I had made on Taris, people that were rapidly becoming my new squad mates. I finally got Carth to open up about some of his troubles, his question to me of 'if you could not trust the best of the Jedi, meaning Revan and Malak, who could you trust?', was heart wrenching. I suspected, though , the Council would disagree with him, since Revan and Malak had disobeyed them by assisting the Republic in the first place. He seemed angriest over the non-Jedi who had joined the Sith; his statement that they deserved no mercy was full of anger. He did apologize to me though for taking out his problems on me while on Taris. I had to admit what he had gone through would have shaken my faith in people as well.  
  
Canderous was a puzzle to me, he was full of darkness but he was also honorable in his own Mandalorian way. I decided to try and get him to open up by talking about his battles. He spoke of honor and glory in combat, of how that was how you proved your worth. I guess it was oddly flattering that the Mandalorians thought the Republic was worthy of battle, though it was an honor we could have done without. He spoke of weeping for the loss of his violent past and I guess I could see how being Davik's thug was a bit of a step down from his battles for worlds.  
  
I learned quickly and began to understand the use of my Force powers, and was rewarded by Master Zhar saying one day "In all my years I have never seen one who has mastered all the initial training so quickly. You have done in weeks what many cannot do in years."  
  
He told me my apprenticeship would end soon and I would be granted the title of Padawan, the lowest rank in the Jedi Order. But first I must prove myself worthy. I asked how I would do this and he said that I must pass three tests. The first of which was to prove that I knew and understood the Code of the Jedi Order.  
  
I had talked with Master Zhar before about the code and he had commented that my military training gave me a unique perspective. My adrenal training had taught me that I could be calm no matter what my emotions. So my perspective was not so much that there is no emotion... there is peace. As no matter the storm of emotions you might find yourself in there was peace in the midst of them. I don't know if he agreed but he understood my meaning.  
  
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge did not make much sense to me until he explained it as understand the will of the Force. I allowed that perhaps that was one I needed to grow into understanding. I think he appreciated my honesty, in admitting I didn't fully understand the meaning of it.  
  
There is no passion... there is serenity. I always assumed this was another stating of the first line. And Master Zhar agreed that they were very similar in nature.  
  
There is no chaos... There is harmony. This was another difficult one for me unless he meant that what appeared to be chaotic was only a small part of a greater harmony.  
  
There is no death, there is the Force simply sounded to me like an affirmation that there was something beyond death for everyone.  
  
I don't know if my understanding of the code was correct but I gathered it was good enough for me to continue to the next test. A greater understanding would come in time Master Zhar said to me.  
  
My next test was to pick my Jedi path, and though Master Dorak thought I was best suited to be a Jedi Consular. I felt a more balanced path would suit me better so I picked Jedi Sentinel as it seemed a middle path between the Consular and Guardian. I took my yellow focus crystal from Master Dorak and returned to Master Zhar. Master Zhar instructed as to how to make a lightsaber and then told me to go and make my own. When I was done Master Zhar commented on how well I had done setting the focus crystal.  
  
My last task was to cleanse an ancient meditation grove to the northwest of a dark taint that had come over it. The kath hounds in the area had become savage and ruthless and were attacking people. I asked for more information and Master Zhar said for me to remember that not all who are on a dark path are lost forever. Upon hearing that I had a strong suspicion that I knew what was in the grove, a fallen Jedi. It would fit that I needed to see the corruption of the dark side for myself and I knew my task was to bring them back to the light if at all possible.  
  
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Carth, Canderous and I exited the Jedi Enclave and decided to explore some instead of heading directly toward the grove. I decided ask around the Enclave to see what information I could gather about Dantooine before we went out looking for the taint in the grove. An old Jedi by the name of Nemo did give me some valuable information about force crystal caves, though he didn't say where they were located. He said they were dangerous to enter because they were inhabited by Kinrath spiders attracted by the crystals.  
  
We were stopped on the way out of the Enclave by a man who accused the Jedi of sitting safe in their enclave while Mandalorian raiders stole and killed them. From what he said the raiders had come to their home demanding all they had and his daughter had defied them and been killed. Canderous said to him "You should have protected her better. And you call yourself her father." I knew enough about Mandalorians from my training to know that in their twisted way they had honored the daughter by killing her and the fact her father was alive meant they thought he was a coward. It wasn't my place to judge his actions though, and as he said the only thing he could have done was get himself killed. These people were farmers not warriors, and I had to wonder about the honor of these Mandalorians trying to provoke farmers. Somehow I couldn't see Canderous stooping so low. I told him I would see what I could do about the raiders and he calmed down enough to let us pass.  
  
The next person I spoke to was an older woman standing by a speeder looking anxiously toward the enclave, I walked up to her and she asked if I could help her find her companion who she had lost. I thought it an odd choice of words but inquired further, and found out that her missing companion was a droid. She seemed oddly attached to it, apparently it had been made by her late husband as a personal assistance droid. I was bothered by something in her emotions but I said that if I saw her droid I would send it back to her.  
  
The kath hounds were aggressive; a small pack of them attacked us just outside of the enclave, and as we explored any that we saw quickly attacked us as well. We had quite a few nice battles as we wandered about and I could see that Carth and Canderous were enjoying their outing. Bastila would have been complaining over the pace and why we were just wandering about but the two of them seemed to understand we were playing hooky for the day even if it was rather dangerous play. Carth did grumble though since he was the only one needing med paks. I replied telling him he should get is own regenerative implant like Canderous and I. I hadn't mentioned any of my other implants but the regeneration one was too obvious and it was just easier to admit I had one rather than continue to try and hide it.  
  
Furthur on we came upon a group of Mandalorians threatening an old man; to my shock the old man offered the Mandalorian his wife and child in exchange for his life. The Mandalorian laughed and killed the old man before I could intervene and then said something to his Duros friends about taking the wife and child. I was upon him then and though he was a challenging opponent he went down quickly. I was a better melee fighter now than I had ever been and I had gotten used to fighting with the lightsaber more quickly than I thought I would.  
  
I walked over to the body of the old man and wondered what his wife would have thought had she known he cared about them so little he was willing to turn her and his child over to them in exchange for his own life. I shook my head and we moved on.  
  
We came across than albino horned kath hound that had us all battling seriously for our lives, after we finally killed it; we rested in the shadow of an overhang and made sure we were all okay before moving on.  
  
We found the woman's droid being attacked by kath hounds. He had sought them out trying to destroy himself. It seemed as if she had been treating the droid like it was her dead husband. I could tell the guys were looking at the droid, and we were all thinking the same question, but I decided some questions were best left unasked. The droid asked if we would be kind enough to destroy him so that Elsie would be able to move on and live a more normal life. I pondered the request and finally agreed.  
  
Near where we found the droid we found the entrance to the cavern that contained the force crystal formations. The spiders were not much of a problem for the three of us and after we had cleared the cavern of the adults I collected a few lightsaber crystals and we left the cave.  
  
We finally decided we had dawdled enough and were making our way to the grove when I came across another Jedi, Master Bolook. He asked if I would be interested in assisting him with a murder investigation. I agreed and started questioning the two suspects. It was an interesting puzzle; I quickly realized both men were lying about several things and that both had motives for the killing. Finally I put all the clues together and realized what must have happened. Handon had killed the victim for cheating on his wife. Rikard who had also been out looking for the victim to murder for swindling money from him, mistook Handon for the dead man and shot him from a distance, injuring Handon which was how his blood got on the blaster. Handon had dropped his blaster and called the Enclave hoping to place the blame on Rikard. Master Bolook was pleased with my findings and said he would let the Council know of my progress.  
  
We approached the ancient grove and I motioned Canderous and Carth to stay behind while I checked out the situation. As I suspected there was someone there in Jedi robes, her thoughts filled with darkness and emotional turmoil. I assessed the situation and realized the woman was a Cathar; they were unusual to see as the Mandalorians had all but wiped them out. I watched her some more and realized how young she was, maybe as young as eighteen I thought.  
  
She challenged me and attacked when I approached her. She was a good fighter, but her anger made her sloppy and weak in her defense, the fight was difficult only because I would not seriously wound her. Finally I was able to disarm her and she retreated. I asked her why she had attacked me and she told me this grove was her place of dark power, where she had went to have solace, after killing her master Quatra. I thought to myself, this poor youngster, she means she went here to mourn after thinking that she had killed her master. I hadn't heard anything about any student killing their teacher at the enclave, and I was pretty sure that would be unusual enough that I would have heard something. I also realized what she had gone through was rather like my first experience with the adrenals, I too had totally lost control, but I had ended up on the mat stunned and pinned. She had ended up here; there was a lesson to be learned here for the both of us.  
  
I told her I had been sent to cleanse the grove of its dark taint and she asked why I hadn't killed her, wasn't it apparent she couldn't be saved? I shook my head and told her I had no desire to kill her. She argued with me for a bit and it became apparent to me that the young woman had some serious self-esteem problems. I told her that I saw a beautiful young woman who had a lot of talent in front of me. She blushed and I became aware that I might have just misstepped when she said that I seemed to know what affected her. Opps I thought to myself, Bastila no matter how uninterested she acted would be very hurt if she thought I was attracted to another woman. I decided to use less emotional appeals after that, and stuck to the Code to persuade her to turn back to the light and ask the Council for forgiveness. As she left for the Enclave I realized was time for us to return as well.  
  
Before entering the Enclave grounds I told Elsie that her droid had asked to be destroyed and that I had honored it's request. She looked at me stricken and I told her the droid's last request was that she find other people to meet and interact with. She cried that she could not bear to live without her droid and I was worried when she ran off but then I saw that she was headed to the Enclave. I resolved to give her some time to herself but to check up on her in a few days to see how she was doing.  
  
Juhari was waiting in the Enclave and I paused to ask her how the Council meeting went. She told me that she was once again welcome within the Jedi Order, that Quatra's injuries were not as severe as she had believed. The confrontation had been nothing more than a part of her training, that her teacher had wanted her to understand how easy it was to fall from the path of light. Once again I noted how she disparaged herself and grimaced. I said "Don't think so badly of yourself, sometime when I'm not on busy remind me to tell you of the time I went into a killing rage and tried to kill my Instructor during training." She stared at me astonished and I grinned at her and waved and left to report to Master Zhar.  
  
Master Zhar said "You have done well, my pupil. The ancient grove has been purified, and Juhani's journey down the dark path has been halted. Because of you she walks in the light." He told me to not dismiss what happened to her and I nodded, then he finished "Congratulations, apprentice. Or should I say congratulations, Padawan? You have proven yourself worthy of joining the Jedi. Let me be the first to welcome you as a full-fledged member of our Order." He then indicated that I should follow him in to see the Council.  
  
Master Vandar greeted me and commended me for my role in returning Juhari; he then said "Your training is now complete, young Padawan. And perhaps now is the time we dealt with the matter of the dream you and Bastila shared. When we heard of the ruins in your dream, Master Dorak recognized it as one of a series of ancient structures here on Dantoonie. This one in particular lies to the east of the Enclave. We sent a Jedi to investigate... but he has not returned. Perhaps sending him in the first place was a mistake. The Force is guiding you through your visions; it may be that exploring the ruins is a task tied to your destiny. That is why the Council has now decided you should be the one to investigate this. Be sure to take Bastila with you. There is a powerful link between you, and you will need to draw strength from each other during the trials ahead."  
  
Suddenly a older man burst into the Council area shouting "I demand justice! The Sandral family is blight on Dantooine! They must be punished!"  
  
Master Vandar said that the council would look into the matter, but that his accusations had no proof. The man said "Mistake? My son Shen is missing! How can there be any doubt the Sandral's are to blame?"  
  
Master Vrook stated that there were other possible explanations and the man stormed out threatening that he would only wait so long before taking action on his own. Master Vandar sighed and turned to Bastila and I and told us that the Jedi could not abandon their other responsibilities, no matter how dangerous the threat of Malak. He asked that if we had time we should look into this matter between Nurik Sandral and Ahlan Matale, and I said I would do so at once.  
  
As we left Bastila said to me "This task has its own importance. It may also serve to divert our minds for a short time... something which carries its own rewards." I had been aware that several things had been troubling Bastila as the end of my training approached. The bond between us had grown and I suspected she was more than a bit unhappy with that.  
  
I told her I would like to discuss the dream we had shared now that the time for actually finding the place had come. Bastila nodded, she had been unwilling to talk much about it before now and our conversations had focused more on our pasts and my training. I had been puzzled as to what exactly the bond was, everyone had given me the standard answer that it formed sometimes between Master and pupil but I knew that was not the relationship I had with Bastila, even if she did try and take that role.  
  
I said "I still don't understand why we shared this vision." She said "Are you wondering why we shared the vision? Or why we even received it in the first place? To the first I can only repeat the answer that the Council gave us. Our fates are linked, and for two as strong as we are in the Force that amounts to a near-physical bond." She looked troubled as she said it and I could sense her continuing distress with how strong the bond had become. Bastila continued "As to the second, I don't truly have an answer for you. The Force works as it will, and perhaps we should be grateful for what we have been given."  
  
I said what I had really been wondering "But how did our fates become linked?" Bastila looked at me and said "I... I don't know. Believe me, I certainly don't find the prospect of being joined to you enjoyable in any fashion." I blinked at her hurt by the words and turned away saying "Well, thanks a lot." She grabbed my arm and pulled me back, I could see the pain I was feeling reflected in her eyes and she said pleadingly "Please forgive me. I did not mean to imply that you were repulsive in any sense of the word." I looked at her and I could see she meant what she said, she finished "That we share something so personal is just not something I'm used to." She still held my arm and I could tell that she wanted me to say something. I covered her hand with mine and said "I understand it's not easy for me sometimes as well. And I forgive you." She blushed slightly and freed her hand from mine and said something about going to investigate the disappearance of Shen Mantrel.  
  
I looked at her for a moment longer and though to myself, no the bond isn't easy for either of us to deal with sometimes. It's damn uncomfortable to feel how nervous and afraid of her feelings for me she is. And I can imagine my steady pursuit of her is just as wearing as her dogged determination to resist is on me. What a pair we are.  
  
I had picked up one of the new Jedi robes for myself earlier in the day, I had chosen a white robe with a black belt and shoulder pads. I had went ahead and picked out a dark maroon robe for Bastila that I hoped she would like. I had set it down outside the Council chamber when I had gone in with Master Zhar.  
  
Now I got it and gave it to her, she seemed pleased and admired it. I breathed a sigh of relief when she tried it on over her bodysuit, while I really liked the bodysuit she favored I always wanted to walk a few paces behind her to admire the view. I knew it drove her nuts but I couldn't help myself. The robe was less form fitting and actually made it easier to concentrate on something besides that lovely rear of hers.  
  
She had a small smile playing about her lips and asked me if I hadn't liked what she usually wore. The minx, I thought to myself, she knew the entire time. She must have realized what she had just revealed to me because she suddenly flushed and said she had to go to her room and change into the new robe before we set out. I watched her leave and shook my head, what mixed messages she constantly sent. I couldn't figure the woman out, she constantly pushed me away, but at the same time she did things to make sure that I would stay interested. How amazingly frustrating she was, and how very desirable. 


	11. Dantooine  Padawan

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own. Dantooine - Padawan  
  
On the Matale estate we stumbled across the body of Casus Sandral. A journal on the body indicated he had been investigating strange ruins across Dantooine. From the wounds on the body I surmised that he had been killed by kath hounds. Further on we spotted another group of Mandalorian raiders. It was a vicious fight as we were outnumbered two to one, but we managed to prevail and I was sure that we had taken out the Mandaliorian raider's leader. He had two Jedi lightsabers on him as trophies and I showed them to Bastila. One of them had a red crystal and I stared at it puzzled, Bastila looked at it and said it was a dark Jedi lightsaber.  
  
We proceeded on to the Sandral estate where I told Nurik Sandral of the manner of his son's death. He made an odd statement about how it changed nothing, and then asked for Casus's journal. He offered money for it but I refused and gave him the journal. He thanked me and then left. A few seconds after he left his daughter entered and asked if we were looking for Shen. She said her name was Rahasha and her father was mad with grief and had kidnapped Shen, she asked us to find him before her father hurt Shen in his madness. Caught by her emotional state I asked why she was so interested in freeing Shen. She told us that she had met Shen away from the estate and they continued meeting when they could and had fallen in love. I smiled at her and told her I would find Shen and free him immediately so her father would not have the chance to do anything to the young man.  
  
Bastila didn't like it but given that his daughter was afraid that he would hurt Shen if we took the time to consult the Council she agreed that perhaps we should act on the information immediately. We had to deal with a few droids but it wasn't long before we found where Shen Matale was being kept. However, Shen refused to leave out of fear what Nurik would do to Rahasia when he was discovered missing. He compared her to an angel and said that he would rather die than leave her to suffer her father's wrath. I had to smile at this, and told the young man that I would find out if Rahasia would be willing to elope with him. Somehow I didn't doubt that she would. We found Rahasia and I told her that Shen would not leave without her. She laughed and said that she would wait for us outside. She was waiting for us outside the gates and they both thanked us. I mentioned that we might want to get moving before it was discovered that Shen was gone but it was too late.  
  
Nurik Sandral and Ahlan Matale appeared each with escorting droids at that moment. I calmed myself and reached out with my force senses trying to see what the best way to handle this was. They were both very stubborn old men that thought they knew what was best for their children. They started out insulting each other; I asked them to calm down, but they continued. I said "You should try to work this out together" I said it in an even reasonable tone which was a marked contrast to how the two men sounded. It worked; they stopped shouting and tried to sound like they were being reasonable as well. I looked at Ahlan and said to him "Shen is capable of making decisions on his own" my tone and body language continued with the unspoken 'which is how you would want you son to be'. Ahlan said to me "But he is my son... I don't want to lose him..." I nodded in understanding.  
  
Nurik said "I won't let my daughter go with him!" I turned to him and nodded and said "Children grow up and leave eventually." I left unsaid 'that is how things are supposed to be'. But I knew that he heard the unspoken words. Shen and Rahasia clung together and I could see the two men staring at them. Shen was being protective, sheltering Rahasia in his arms and looking like he would face down anything for her and she looked up at him adoringly. I could see both of the parents finally looking at them and realizing what they were seeing. Nurik said "Well, it wouldn't be so bad would it? Shen seems to genuinely care for my Rahasia. He might be a good husband for her someday. Ahlan humphed but said "As much as I may dislike it... I think I see it too."  
  
I smiled at both of them and said "So you will let them stay together?" careful to phrase it such that it would be their decision. It was going well till they started arguing over where the couple would live. I said "Why don't you compromise?" Rahasia being a bright woman said when they started arguing again "Then you propose to buy us a new house, do you?" I had to smother a grin. It stopped both the old men and they thought about it and agreed that it sounded like a good idea. Ahlan and Nurik wandered off discussing where the house should be built and I hoped they wouldn't start arguing again but they sounded like they were agreeing. I relaxed some and smiled at the two young lovers, Rahasia then stunned me by saying "We will praise you to the Council for what you have done and name our children after you." I blinked and assured her that it wasn't necessary and that we needed to report back to the Council.  
  
I suggested we go ahead and explore the ruins before we reported back now that the situation between the two families was settled. Bastila and Canderous agreed that it would probably be a good idea and we cautiously entered the ruins. Within was an ancient droid it spoke several unknown dialects at us before speaking in a dialect I knew, ancient Selkath. It said this place was a monument to the power of the Star Forge. That the droid served a race known as the Builders and it had been here over 25,000 years. It did not know what the Star Forge was but I guessed it might be some type of factory which would explain where the Sith were getting their supply of ships. The body of Jedi Nemo was in the corner and we asked if the droid had killed him, the droid replied that it hadn't. Nemo had failed the tests to prove himself worthy of the knowledge of the Star Forge. I asked how to pass the tests and the droid replied that we must enter the proving grounds to the east and west and prove ourselves or be destroyed.  
  
We activated our energy shields and went to the west, there was an ancient battle droid there and we fought it and won. Past it was a computer console; I used my data pad to communicate with it and was able to answer the questions on what were the three forms of life giving planets. The east was much the same with one ancient battle droid; the question this time was what the three death giving planets were. With that the seal was broken and we were able to enter the room behind the initial droid. I had a strong sense of deja vu as we walked into the room of my dream and saw the device on the floor. It opened and a sphere rose from it and projected a navigational chart. We examined it closely and recognized several planets, but the map was incomplete and did not indicate where the Star Forge might be. Bastila and I agreed that the other pieces to the puzzle were likely on the planets indicated in this map. We needed to report back to the council and find out what they wanted us to do next. Though we both knew what it was likely to be.  
  
It was a relief to get out of the oppressive ruin and back out into the sunlight. Malak in my dream had been correct the place was strong with the dark side of the force. And it was like a foul taste in my mouth, I was more than happy to be away from it.  
  
As we walked back I paused to let the grieving father know that I thought I had found the leader of the raiders that had been plaguing them and had taken care of their threat. He thanked me and pressed some credits on me though I really didn't want them.  
  
Bastila paused before we went in and said she wanted to speak with me, I nodded and we walked over to the retainer wall. Bastila said "I've been thinking about what the Jedi Council said about the two of us." I hitched myself up on the wall and leaned back letting the sun warm my face and listened to her. "There is a bond between us, I do not dispute that. I can feel it, as I'm sure you can. The nature of that bond and it's effect on our mission remain in question." I opened my eyes halfway and glanced at her and feeling mischievous said "I think you're interested in more than just the bond between us." She glared at me and said "Please! I'm a Jedi. Such feelings such attractions, are... well, they're beneath me, quite frankly."  
  
I just grinned and raised an eyebrow at her, and said "Really?" She flushed and said "I admit, I find you intriguing. Uh... I mean, I find your command of the Force intriguing. But my interest in you is purely academic." I looked at her and said "your interest in me is not purely academic Bastila and we both know it." With that I walked away from her and entered the enclave leaving her no choice but to follow me into the Council Chamber.  
  
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The Jedi Council was disturbed by what we had found and wanted to search the archives before coming to a decision. They summoned us when they were done and as I had expected told Bastila and I to go to the other four planets to find the information leading to the Star Forge. Juhani had requested to be included in the mission, and I was both pleased and worried. Pleased because she was a very good fighter, worried because I knew she had a crush on me. I asked about Carth, Canderous, Mission and Zaalbar. They would accompany me as well. I was a bit worried about the lack of a senior Jedi, but I could see the Master's reasoning for not wanting to draw attention to our mission.  
  
Before we went back to the ship I decided to check on Elsie and see how she was doing. I honestly didn't think a lot of the man she was attracted to but I didn't say so of course. Bastila did surprise me when she said to the woman that love can do strange things. I was happy to see that Elsie had gotten over me destroying her droid and was interacting with people again.  
  
On the way back to the ship Jedi Deesra stopped me to give me a warning about a creature he had come across in his records. It fed on the blood of those strong in the Force and was believed to have been bred by the ancient Sith to kill Jedi. It was naturally resistant to the Force and was strong and cunning. It was called a terentatek, and he thought that Malak's successes may have drawn them out of hibernation. The last time they had been seen was after the Exar Kun war. There had been a Great Hunt to try and exterminate them. The Hunt was called off rather than send Jedi to Korriban, and only three Jedi were allowed to continue. They all had strong bonds to one another and to the Force and it was thought that together they would be able to resist the dark side. Their names were Duron Qel-Droma, Gunn Han Saresh and Shaela Nur their master had felt them become one with the Force sometime after they had left for Korriban and it was thought that one of the monsters had killed them. He warned me that we might encounter one of these on our journey and for us not to underestimate their cunning.  
  
On the way into the Ebon Hawk I waved to the Twi'lek Lur Akra Sulas and assured him that I would keep an eye out for Sasha in my travels. He had stopped me earlier in the week on one of my trips to the ship to inquire if I had seen a young human girl named Sasha. He was in the employ of Rundil ot Sulem whose daughter had been kidnapped by Mandalorian raiders a few years ago and had not yet been found and her father still hoped that she was alive and that he would find her.  
  
I entered the ship and smiled at Juhani who was already aboard and asked her if she had settled in. She nodded to me and assured me that she had found an unused bunk on the women's side of the ship and had already stowed her gear. Hesitantly she said "I feel I must apologize for the way I acted towards you before, in the grove. It was wrong of me." I nodded and said "You thought the dark side had consumed you. It is nothing." Juhani said "I am sorry for attacking you. I am sorry for thinking you would only try to kill me. I hope that by helping you in your task I may redeem myself in your eyes... and in my own." I shook my head and said "Do not worry, Juhani. I forgive you." She replied "Thank you... It is most reassuring to know that you can forgive me, even though I tried to take your life." I chuckled and said "Don't put me on some pedestal Juhani, and don't forget to remind me to tell you my story." With that I left her and went to find Mission. Droids were moving about the ship getting it ready for the journey and I side stepped them as they moved busily about.  
  
I finally found Mission in the women's bunk area working on some security tunneling spikes. I sat down on my bulk and watched her; finally she stopped and turned toward me with a raised eyebrow. I said "Is it an alright time to talk about your brother?" When we had spoken earlier on Taris she had gotten very upset about her brother leaving her and seemed to blame it on a woman named Lena, I was curious to find out more but the time to ask had never presented itself. Mission blushed and apologized for her anger the last time she had mentioned it and said "When it comes to Lena I tend to get a little worked up." I asked why she hated the woman so much and Mission told me of how her brother Griff had meet Lena at a cantina where she was a dancer. They had begun dating and a few months later Griff had told Mission that he and Lena were going off world to try and make their fortune. Griff had promised that he would come back and get Mission when he had made some money but he had never returned. Mission blamed it all on Lena, I wasn't so sure but I didn't think that Mission would listen to me right now. She was positively seething at the mention of Lena. Misson said that part of the reason she had come with us was the hope that she would find Griff but for me not to worry that she would let her search interfere with our mission. I nodded to her and left her to her work hoping she would calm down.  
  
Since we wouldn't be leaving until the morning I decided to go find Canderous and see if I could pry some more of his past out of him. I found him working on his repeating blaster and leaned up against the swoop bike in the bay to watch. I casually asked if he would tell me any more of his war stories and he nodded and paused in his work. Canderous started "I was one of the best youth warriors in clan Ordo in my time. No one before me had mastered the power of our Basilisk war droids as quickly as I had, except Mandalore himself of course." He told of how young Mandalores would prove themselves in real combat and bring back the story of their achievements. I asked him what his story had been. He looked at me and "I remember it well, orbiting high above a placid world, its defenses just stirring. As was tradition, I would go ahead of the first wave to find enemies in the thickest fighting. I remember sitting there in my armor, linked directly with the Basilisk thrumming beneath me. My heart racing with fear at the coming battle." I grinned and said "I didn't think Mandalorians got afraid." He looked at me and replied "Every new warrior has to fear to understand how to beat it. You must know that." He paused and looked at me and I remembered my first combat mission, I to had felt fear and my heart had raced, he was right you had to know fear and get through it when you were a warrior. I nodded to him soberly and he continued telling of how he had been dropped from high altitude riding a battle droid of some type, I was reminded of the devastation the Mandalores had wrought when he described leveling an entire complex. What an odd people they were, bloodthirsty, violence loving, honorable and courageous. It was a shame that they felt the need to test themselves in the way they had chosen. They could have been so much more than the ravening plague that they had been. Canderous finished his tale saying "I'll never forget those times. But... things are different now. We can't go on fighting the way we had. There are too few of us left now." With that he returned to the work on his blaster obviously wanting to end the conversation.  
  
I finally decided to find Carth and see if I could resolve the issues still between us. I found him on the bridge checking out the navigational computer. I waited till he was done and asked if we could continue our discussion. Carth refused and I asked if he wouldn't feel better if he did. Carth snapped "Listen sister... just because we're working together does not mean you get to badger me with constant questions!" I said "Do we have another problem, now?" He replied angrily "Blast it if you aren't the most frustrating woman to talk to! Isn't there someone else you can harass for a little while?" I grinned at him and said "No you're the last one left, I've harassed everyone else already." Carth stared at me then sighed and said "Okay, I give up. You win." He went on to tell me of his commanding officer Saul Karath who had taught him everything about being a soldier. Saul had approached him about how the Republic was on the loosing side and how he had gotten angry with him and Saul had left. Saul turned to the Sith and betrayed his unit by giving the Sith the codes to bypass their scanners. And Carth blamed himself for not seeing that Saul was trying to recruit him and killing him then. He had fought Saul for years and vowed to make him regret his betrayal. I had to agree, there is nothing worse than betraying your own men to the enemy. I nodded my understanding to Carth and left him to his thoughts.  
  
I decided to go to the equipment shop and see if there was anything that we needed before we left Dantoonie and stopped to ask Mission if she wanted to accompany me. We were passing through the inner courtyard when a Twi'lek woman paused and said "Mission? Is that you? It's me, Lena. Remember? I was dating your brother back on Taris."  
  
I was astonished that we would run into the very person Misson had been talking about and a bit concerned as to how Mission would react. I extended my force senses so I could detect if the woman was lying. Mission asked where Griff was and Lena replied that they had broken up a few months after they left Taris; she said Griff could be charming but he was bad news. Mission threatened to smack the woman if she didn't take the comment back and Lena stepped back astonished and asked "What? Mission, what's wrong with you? Why are you acting this way?" She was sincere and I told Lena that Griff was a sensitive subject. Lena replied to me that Griff could be frustrating and she guessed that's why Mission hadn't wanted to come with them when they left Taris. She wasn't lying; I could detect no falsehood in her statement.  
  
Mission said "You liar! Griff told me you didn't want his little sister tagging along - that's why he had to leave me behind!" Lena cursed and said "I wanted you to come with us Mission. I even offered to pay for your ticket." She went on to say that Griff had told her that Mission didn't want to leave Taris and she had said that they shouldn't even go, but Griff had assured her that as soon as they struck it rich on Tatooine they would come back for Mission.  
  
Mission replied "No you're the one who's lying! Griff wouldn't... he wouldn't try to leave me behind!" She looked at me for reassurance but I knew Lena wasn't lying; I simply shook my head sadly. Lena said "Think about it. If Griff wasn't trying to ditch you, Mission, then why didn't he tell you where we were going?" She went on to say that Griff had tried to blame Mission for holding him back, then when she ran out of money he started blaming her. Lena looked at me for support but I simply said "I'd like to hear Griff's side of things before I judge him." She told me that as far as she knew Griff was still on Tatooine. Mission yelled that Griff was probably better off without Lena. And I moved over to Mission and put my arm around her and looked at Lena. Lena caught my meaning and said "I guess that's my cue to leave then. I didn't mean to upset you Mission. But one day you'll see I'm right about your brother."  
  
I decided the shop could wait and steered Mission over to some benches in the shade to talk with her. I knew that she was upset and needed to talk over things before they festered. Mission said to me "Don't tell me you believe Lena's lies? Griff might be working as a miner on Tatooine, but the rest of her story is bantha poo-doo!" She said that she would like to try and find her brother if we had time during our visit to Tatooine. I nodded not replying to whether or not Lena had been lying and told her that we would try to find her brother. I decided to drop the subject for now and let her have time to think over things. We went to the shop and bought a few supplies then returned to the Ebon Hawk.  
  
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It was after dinner and I had sat down to practice on my mandovil when Juhani approached me asking if now was a good time to ask me to tell my story. I nodded to her and asked her if she had ever used adrenals. She shook her head and said that her race had no need of such things; they produced enough of their own. I asked her if she knew what they did for humans and she said that she supposed they acted like hers helping us to react quicker and with more strength. I nodded and asked if she had ever heard of hyper battle adrenals, Carth overheard at this point and came over saying that he didn't like those stims, too many people had used them and went into either insane rages or became incapacitated with fear.  
  
Juhani was surprised and looked at me inquiringly and I nodded to her. "Yep my first experience with hyper battle adrenals, I went into a rage and yelled something at the instructor about how I would rip his heart out and feed it to him" I grinned and chuckled at this point. Juhari's eyes were wide and I noticed that everyone seemed to be listening now, including Bastila who had just boarded the ship. She was staring at me astonished having come into the conversation late. "I think I got as far as lunging toward him when the two safeties started beating on me with the stun batons and brought me down. I don't really remember that part well I just remember coming to face down on the matt with two very heavy guys on top of me. My instructor grabbed me by the hair and flashed a light in my eyes to see if I was concussed and laughed at me. He told me that he hadn't realized I cared for him so much then told me to get up and get back in line. He then started yelling at everyone else that they would have their turn as well and not to think the same thing wouldn't happen to them."  
  
I paused and Juhani said "so you attacked your teacher in a rage as well, yet you obviously have learned to deal with your anger, how?" I grinned at her and said "Well a lot of work with my assigned therapist on how to handle anger, I kept trying to keep it under control, trying to suppress it. Every time I went on battle adrenals it spun out of my ability to suppress and I lost all semblance of control. She finally got me to realize that I wasn't doing well with my attempts and taught me that I didn't have to control my anger at all. I just had to control whether or not I choose to react to it. I had to totally relearn how to deal with my emotions but I have to admit two huge guys in full armor with stun batons is really, really good incentive to learn quickly. Its an odd feeling when you do learn it, rather like being in the center of a whirlwind, you emotions always try to get you to react to them and its hard not to because its instinctive to think that emotion and reaction are the same thing. But you can separate them, feeling the emotions but still being calm. We used to say in training 'We are sentient beings, with animal bodies, we have the choice to react as the sentient being or as the animal'. We are all evolved from ancestors that learned to think and the instincts that served us well when we were not intelligent are still hardwired into our bodies. I know most people don't even realize how much their natural adrenal reactions drive their emotions. But the brain feels the body's reaction to adrenals and attempts to assign emotions to them, usually fear or anger."  
  
I paused and looked at Juhani. She nodded and said "Yes, the fight with Quatra was intense and I could feel my anger growing as she pressed me. I attempted to control my emotions but at some point I slipped and my anger overwhelmed me and I attacked her." I nodded and said "I thought as much, your body knew you were in danger during the fight and kept ramping up your hormones, you reacted both to the situation and the increased adrenals by feeling anger which eventually exceeded your ability to control. Consider what I said about trying to separate the emotion and your reaction to the emotion. They don't have to follow the other automatically, but it is not an easy thing to relearn."  
  
Canderous said "Wise words, a warrior deals with fear just so, recognizing the bodies' reactions and the feelings that rise, refusing to react by cowering in fear but proceeding with on with what needs to be done."  
  
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I was stowing the rest of my gear in my bunk later when Bastila came in and sat down on her bunk, looking at me curiously. I turned to here and said "You have something you want to ask me?" She looked surprised and said "I do. How did you know?" I was feeling mischievous so I replied "well... your face is all scrunched up like a kinrath pup." She immediately became the Jedi princess and said "A... a kinrath pup?! It most certainly is not!" I sat back to watch the show paying little attention to what she said until she said "My thoughts remain hidden, including whatever my feelings are for you. Uh... I mean whatever I feel about you... uh... I mean whatever I think about you." By now she was blushing intensely and I could only think of how beautiful she was and how desirable. I said smiling "You're so cute when you're embarrassed." If anything she flushed deeper and said "I... that is, you... Why must you be so impossibly infuriating?! You know very well what I'm talking about. I'm referring to the bond between us; the one the Jedi Council spoke of. Our connection allows us glimpses into each other's mind. We can feel some of what the other feels. And what I feel within you troubles me."  
  
I listened with half an ear I knew the rote speech already about the dark side and was starting to feel a bit abused by all of it. I mean it was like they were saying we know you are going to fall to the dark side, it's predestined. If they went on and on like this with all their Padawans its no wonder they just went over to the dark side, at least they were away from the speeches. Our instructors in training had ragged on us but they had never implied that we would not succeed, just that we weren't trying hard enough to succeed and to stop being lazy. Bastila was winding down some and saying"... relatively little training could have terrible consequences. For you, and for everyone around you." I couldn't help myself I just couldn't take it seriously right now "You could warn me when I do something bad. Blink once for dark side, twice for light" I said grinning.  
  
Bastila said angrily "This is not a joke! The choices you make could affect both our destinies, not to mention the fate of the Republic and the entire galaxy! There is much at stake. Thankfully you have exhibited a degree of compassion and self-control up to this point. I sincerely hope you can maintain these traits in the future. We must all resist the influence of the dark side! It is everything we are fighting against! This is doubly important for you, with your natural affinity for the Force!"  
  
She was angrier than I had usually seen her and the amusement value of her preaching at me while being so angry at me was not lost on me but I didn't think it was healthy for her so I asked mildly "Why are you getting so upset?" That deflated her and I could see her getting her anger back under control, she shoved stuff down, it was no wonder it got away from her all the time. She said "I'm sorry if I come across as harsh. But I am concerned. For you, for our mission. And for myself, as well. Our destinies are intertwined. Everything that one of us does will have consequences for the other. Any reckless behavior on your part is likely to affect me as well."  
  
I suddenly realized she really was concerned that I might affect her for the worse with my emotions. I got up and moved around to face her and knelt on one knee on the deck in front of her putting myself on eye level with her. I thought about how utterly certain I was of this one fact and sent that through the bond and said "I won't do anything to hurt you." She looked at me searchingly and said "I believe you truly mean what you say. For now. But sometimes it is not easy to keep such promises. Your power could be a gift or a curse. When you need guidance, or advice, or support I will do my best to help you stay on the path of the light." I sighed to myself and said "I would appreciate any help you could offer" and vowed to myself to be more pleasant the next time she felt the need to lecture me. I really didn't want her to be upset and worrying about me. She said "I only hope I have the wisdom to help you through the dark times." I nodded to her and got back up and continued stowing my gear.  
  
I kept my thoughts close so she wouldn't realize how worried about her I was, I knew the masters had their reason for not sending along a senior Jedi but for her sake I wish they had. She had so little self confidence that it angered me. She was proud of her Battle Meditation but underlying it was a sense that she was only of worth to the Jedi because of it. I was angry for a moment at the Council but then remembered how many times Master Vandar and Khar had said that we should support one another. Maybe that was my task, to get her to trust in her own strength.  
  
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The next morning we left for Tatooine, during the hyperspace trip I had a chance to talk to Carth again, he had been very quiet and had been avoiding me since our last discussion/confrontation. I finally cornered him and asked what the matter was. He said that he felt that he was being left out of the loop and why had they sent Bastila and I off without a Master Jedi at the very least. I nodded and said that Bastila and I were a special case because we had a force bond. He gave me an odd look but continued questioning me as to why we were being sent off after the Star Maps. I shrugged at him unable to give him a better reason and he said "I'll tell you this much... I am not going to wait around until I'm betrayed again!" I looked at him steadily and said "I am not going to betray you. I am not Saul" He said something about seeing about that and then realized what he had just said from my outraged stare. Carth said "Look, I didn't mean it that way." I raised my eyebrow at him unconvinced. "I want to get to Saul, not.... no... no, forget it. It seems all I can do is insult you, isn't it? Just forget I said anything." he finished and turned away and left for the men's quarters.  
  
I shook my head and went to see how Mission was doing. She was in our quarters talking to Juhani, I came in and overheard her asking "How did you come to be a Jedi?" I was curious to hear this myself so I seated myself on my bunk and listened. Juhani nodded to me and answered Mission "Well... It goes back a number of years... Back on my home world we did not see Jedi very often, especially where I lived."  
  
Mission asked "Where did you live?" Juhani answered "The hind end of space. A pit of a world, to be sure. Where Jedi rarely tread... But we had heard of them. Well, everyone had, so that is not to be unexpected. Champions of truth. Defenders of justice. Heroes of the Republic. It was very easy for a child to be enthralled by their image, their mystique. May be I was one of those children."  
  
I broke in and asked curiously "Did you meet a Jedi?"  
  
Juhani nodded to me and said "Yes... yes I did. When I saw a Jedi for the first time they lived up to everything my imagination had created them to be. I was awed... and maybe a bit enamored..." Mission said "So what did you do?" Juhani continued "From that moment on I knew that I would have to try to become a Jedi. To lift myself out of the rut I had been living in for years and to make a real difference, as the Jedi were. The foolish delusions of a child. But this child made it happen. As soon as I was able I left my world and went in search of them. I found them and was accepted. I had been living my dream on Dantooine for several years before you came. Although... perhaps I was not entirely ready for it... or not completely suited to the task. Otherwise I would not have fallen..." with the last she looked at me and said "But thanks to you I have been redeemed. Perhaps I may yet live to see that dream of mine come true."  
  
I said to her "If you want to be a Jedi you have the strength within yourself to become one Juhani. Of that I have no doubt." She looked surprised and maybe gratified in my confidence in her and nodded to me. Juhani left after that going off somewhere else and left me alone with Mission.  
  
I took the opportunity to ask Mission how she was doing. Mission admitted that perhaps Lena had been right when she said that Griff always blamed other people for his problems. I asked her if she believed Lena now and she said that she didn't, but maybe it was Griff's idea to leave her behind, maybe he had thought he would come back later and get her. Maybe he had skipped out on some debts and had to leave her behind so it would look like he was coming back. I didn't want to appear too harsh on her brother but I wondered if she realized what she was saying about him. I simply said that it sounded like how they had come to Taris. She started to agree then realized what she was saying and finally said that perhaps Lena was right. She realized she had been idolizing her brother and not seeing his faults, but she still wanted to go find him and speak to him herself and see what he had to say. I nodded to her and told her we would definitely inquire on Tatooine for her brother. 


	12. Tatooine Arrival

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own.   
  
Tatooine - Arrival  
  
The night before landing on Tatooine I had another dream. This time it was just a vision of a Star Forge device with the sphere raised and the map projected. It looked like it was in a cavern of some type; there were broken pillars and statues lying around it.  
  
Bastila supposed that it might be somewhere in the Dune Sea, there would probably be many undiscovered caves and caverns hidden there. I agreed and hoped privately that the Force would give us some further help or we could be exploring caverns on Tatooine for years.  
  
Bastila looked as if she wanted to talk more and I asked her if she had something else she wanted to discuss. She said that she did and that I should prepare myself for when we had to face Malak. She looked pained as she spoke and she said she remembered how hard it was for her to face Revan.  
  
I asked if it was true that she had killed Revan. She said "Our mission was to capture Revan, if possible. It was Malak who turned on his own master, firing upon Revan's ship while we were still on board it. It was his desire to kill us and his master both. Thankfully we narrowly escaped the vessel as it exploded."  
  
I commented on how typically Sith it was and she looked at me and nodded. "True, I suppose. And yet the outcome of that battle was... unexpected. To all of us. Revan's end was... unforeseen." She seemed oddly hesitant and unsettled, but I could see how the events of Revan's death could unsettle anyone. Bastila continued "As I said, we were there to capture Revan alive. The Jedi do not believe in killing their prisoners. No one deserves execution, no matter what their crimes. Remember that Revan and Malak were once great Jedi, heroes in every sense of the word. They demonstrate the danger of the dark side to us all. I'm sorry. We really shouldn't speak of this anymore. The memory of my confrontation with Revan is... painful. Let's return to our mission please."  
  
We landed on Tatooine and I went to ask Mission if she wanted to accompany me on our visit to Anchorhead. On the way Zaalbar stopped me to tell me that someone had been into the emergency stash of food and no one on the ship knew anything about it. I nodded to him and went to check myself. I examined the emergency food supplies myself and noticed that there were no partial packages, there were just less packages than there should be. Someone had been pilfering them. I wondered puzzled what it might mean and looked around the storage area for clues. Nothing presented itself though and I resolved to keep my eyes and ears open for something unusual. On my way out of the storage area I thought I heard footsteps behind me but when I turned around I could see nothing. I turned around and went to investigate the sounds they led back to the storage area and as I quietly approached it I saw a young girl slip back into the cargo area. I sprinted into the hold before she could disappear again and she cried frightened "Na abds! Na adbs!!" I crouched down and told her to calm down, that I wouldn't hurt her. She responded to the tone if not the words and asked "You... yooba me na adbs?" I was puzzled because some of what she spoke almost sounded like Mandalorian but it didn't make any sense.  
  
I asked her what her name was and she just looked at me puzzled so I pointed at myself and said "Kait McDonald" and then pointed at her. She said "Waaba soosa Sasha!" and I was surprised, could this be the young girl that Lur had been looking for? I spoke with her for awhile longer slowly getting to understand the words she used. I finally understood that she had hidden in one of the access panels and thought of the ship as her home. No telling how long she had been onboard. She had escaped from Mandalorians and had hidden on the ship. I was certain now that this was the Sasha that Lur had been seeking. I asked if she knew where her home was before the ship and she said Dantooine. I told her that her father was still looking for her and we would go back to Dantooine as soon as we could. She seemed uncertain about this and I told her to think about it. I went and found Juhani and told her about the young girl and asked if she would watch over her for today. Juhani agreed curious and I we went back to the hold and I introduced them. They were playing name that item games when I left and Sasha seemed completely comfortable in the Cathar's presence as well as picking up some words in Basic.  
  
I went and informed the rest of the crew and several of them went back to see the young girl and say hello. Thankfully Canderous was not that interested in saying hello. I asked Mission if she were ready to go into Anchorhead now and she nodded. Carth wanted to stretch his legs and asked to go as well.  
  
I spoke to the Czerka Customs officer and got some information about who might know about antiques and some of the history of the planet. He told me that Tatooine used to be a lush planet a long time ago and he told me of the difficulties the Czerka were having with the native Sand People. I was stopped on my way out of the landing bay by a Jor Ul Kurax saying that my order of gizka had been delivered to the ship. He said that the crate might have split open and a few of them might have gotten loose. He quickly retreated and disappeared as I looked back at the Ebon Hawk and groaned. Gizka were not dangerous and were often kept as pets but they had a reputation for rapidly breeding. I decided rather cowardly to let Bastila deal with the problem for now while we went ahead to find the Czerka Office.  
  
We found the office, inside a Duros male was arguing with a woman about corporate policy, something about the company having no accountability. With a final wave of his fist he exited. I went over and asked the woman about Griff. She hesitated and then denied knowing anything about anyone named Griff. I could tell she was lying and I asked if she was certain of her information. She finally admitted to knowing Griff and went on to say how he had been a poor worker, always late for his shifts, faking injuries, and suspected of stealing supplies. I had to agree that that sounded like Griff, and she told me that he had been captured by the Sand People.  
  
I questioned her more about these Sand People and she told me that she would give me a hunting license in exchange for my assistance in stopping the Sand People attacks on their employees. I was to get her the gaffi stick of the chieftain of the tribe that was attacking them. I had to have a license to even get out of the settlement, so I reluctantly agreed to the contract.  
  
The Duros male who had been in the office earlier intercepted me as we were leaving the office and introduced himself as Sayso Cooh a conservationist. He asked if I had been hired to kill the Sand People chieftain and I grimaced and said yes. He told me that the Sand People were not animals, they were intelligent. I mentioned that the Sand People had attacked first and he agreed but asked me to look at it from their side. The Chzeka had come in with sandcrawlers and tearing up their desert without any attempt to contact them and discuss mineral rights or any treaties. I nodded and agreed that I could see how the Sand People probably saw it as an invasion of their territory. I asked if he had any ideas on how one would go about communicating with them and he mentioned that a local droid dealer claimed to have a droid for sale that could speak the Sand People dialect. I agreed that I would make an attempt to find a peaceful resolution.  
  
We were still standing outside the office after he left when my attention was drawn to a desperate looking woman. I extended my force senses and could tell that she was worried and anxious. I went over to introduce myself and she begged me for assistance. I said that I would help her if I could and she told me that her husband had been killed while hunting and she was now destitute but she had a wraith plate that she could sell me that was worth 500 credits. She couldn't sell it herself because she didn't have a license but since I had one I could sell it. She was alone and had children and I only paused to ask her what she knew of her husband's death. She said the Gamorrean hunters laughed when they saw her and she had her suspicions that they were responsible.  
  
I gave her 700 credits since we should have more than enough for the droid. Mission and Carth smiled at her joy when I gave her the money and I could tell they felt good about helping her as well. I smiled at her when she wished us well. I also resolved to check out the Gamorreans to see if her instincts were correct. I entered the Hunting Lodge and was able to sell the plate for 500 credits as the woman had said. I also asked around with the hunters about antiques and about the Gamorreans.  
  
Without exception they all implied that the Gamorreans hunted two legged prey and if you were wise you would not turn your back on them. They also said only the Sand People and Jawa's might know about old ruins on Tatooine. One of the men in the lodge was quite forward, even though Carth threatened to loosen some of his teeth for him if he wasn't respectful. I had to chuckle, I didn't need Carth protecting me but I let him have his testosterone moment. I rebuked the hunter for his advances, but he just grumbled about how his wife didn't understand him. I pitied the unknown wife.  
  
Finally I went over to the Gamorreans and asked them some questions, it was very clear from their comments about how it wasn't their fault that some of the hunters didn't come back that they were attacking the hunters away from the Anchorhead walls. I finally asked them outright if they had killed the woman's husband, they said that he had gotten lost in the dunes and perhaps I would get lost as well. I extended my force senses and knew they had killed the man. I told them that they would not escape justice and they told me that the dunes had no justice. I just smiled at them and they decided to leave suddenly.  
  
I decided it was time to go check out whether or not Sayso was correct about the droid he mentioned. We were making our way over toward the shop when we were accosted by three dark Jedi. I sprang ahead of Carth and Mission to engage all three hoping that the two would be able to quickly bring down one of my attackers. I focused on defending against all three until Carth and Mission brought down one of the dark Jedi then I went on the offensive and we quickly finished off the other two. I had been wounded in several places but my implant had kept me from being weakened during the fight and after a few moments of rest I declared that I was fine and ready to continue. I stripped the three bodies of any useful items and stopped at their lightsabers. One of them had a short lightsaber, the crystal had been changed out to a foul red crystal but other than that there was nothing wrong with it. I took out the crystal and crushed it and put the now empty handle in my pack. I could use it to replace the vibroblade I had been using in my off hand. One of the dark Jedi carried a datapad, in it were the details of the bounty Malak had placed for our deaths.  
  
We found the droid shop and I asked the proprietor about the droids he had in stock. He told me that he just had one droid in a HK-47 and said that it could translate the Sand People dialect. He mentioned that it had some odd mannerisms and that he had tried to wipe its memory but could not as those circuits were too well protected. I went over to talk to the droid and see if it could confirm that it could translate the Sand People language. For some reason I found the droid rather amusing though I was starting to suspect it was one of a few illegal assassination droids. It did claim to be able to translate several languages however, including the Sand People dialect. At least if I purchased the droid, I would be able to make sure it stayed out of more dangerous hands. I finally managed to talk down the asking price to 2500 credits and purchased the droid. I decided it was probably wise to return to the Ebon Hawk and check over the droid before heading out to the dunes on the following morning.  
  
Back onboard the Ebon Hawk I put a blue crystal in the short lightsaber and switched out my vibroblade in favor of it. It was lighter and of course easier to carry. I also cleaned up HK-47 and did some upgrades. I questioned the droid while I worked and found out that it was indeed an assassin droid. It had assumed that the restraining bolt was stopping it from accessing its memory but informed me that it had been incorrect and that tampering and repair attempts had damaged some of its functions. I asked if I could restore its memory and it replied in the affirmative and asked that I be careful. Amused I asked the droid if it was implying that I was inept. It replied that it had not meant that but that I was limited in my skills by not being a droid. I assured it that I happened to be very good at robotic repair. And I had to laugh at its appeasing "Yes, master of course master."  
  
I finished up the repair and HK-47 assured me that it now had access to some new memory. It now remembered its previous owner. His last owner had been a low ranking officer of Systech Corporation; he had been purchased from a previous owner that he could not identify. HK-47 said that the man had been terminated by the droid prior to system shutdown. I stared at it and asked "You killed your own master?" HK-47 assured me that the termination was accidental; he told me that his former master had discovered his assignation protocol and proceeded to instruct him to kill all those responsible for the production of a competing product. He had been unaware though that the competing company was also owned by Systech. The droid had killed 104 corporate officers when his master became aware that both companies were owned by Systech. He went into a rage and had attacked the droid with a pen, managing somehow to puncture the assignation protocol actuator and electrocute himself.  
  
I shook my head after the recitation and asked the droid if he had accessed any other information due to my repairs. He said that he now had access to the memory of some actuators that would enhance his performance and was activating them.  
  
I decided to attempt another repair since it was still early in the evening. It didn't take me very long and the droid was able to access more memory. It now remembered the owner prior to the Systech officer. His previous owner had been a senator on Coruscant. His assistant discovered his assassination protocol and informed the senator insisting that the droid be scrapped. The senator promptly ordered the droid to eliminate the assistant and had made extensive use of the droids skills.  
  
I had to chuckle over the droids comment that he was proud of having participated in the political processes of the galaxy, it was dark but it was funny at the same time. I thought it was probably a good thing that Bastila had been avoiding me; the droid would probably irritate all her Jedi sensibilities. HK-47 went on to tell me that all would have probably been well and the senator would have made Chancellor if he hadn't set the droid on his own wife. It seemed that his wife was cheating on him and ordered the droid to kill his wife and any male companion he found her with. Apparently right afterward he had realized that this murder would be directly linked to him and had followed the droid. The droid had gone to the senator's summer estate and had launched his attack just when the senator had arrived and had thrown himself in front of the droid. He had of course died and the droid had promptly shut itself down. The senator's wife had then sold the droid to the Systech officer.  
  
I asked if he had found anything else and he told me he had found more programs that would enhance his performance. I decided to break for dinner and then attempt one more repair. This repair was also successful and the droid was able to remember his owner before the senator.  
  
He had been owned by one Bochaba the Hutt on the planet Sleheyron. I asked what gruesome fate had awaited this owner. The droid replied that I was being unfair that he had nothing to do with Bochaba's gruesome death, or very little at least. Bochaba had used him extensively and he had terminated 322 sentient meatbags in one year, making Bochaba very wealthy. Bochaba had eventually overstepped and the Exchange retaliated. HK-47 had not been present when his old master had been assassinated and said that he had appreciated the artistry behind his demise upon his return. Hesitantly not sure if I wanted to know I asked "Why, How was he killed?" HK-47 replied "Allow me to say that I have little doubt the residents of that sector were fishing pieces of Bochaba out of their soup for weeks afterward." I had to chuckle at that though it was definitely a disgusting image. A rival Hutt had claimed Bochaba's possessions and had sold the droid to the senator.  
  
I told the droid "I should dismantle you" though I didn't seriously mean it. HK-47 said "Supplication: Please, master, have I not pleased you? I cannot control the acts I have performed... perhaps that is why my memory is erased? At any rate, I act only as you instruct me... even if it means being..." the droid hesitated and then said "...non-violent." I had to chuckle at this and said "How very self-sacrificing of you HK-47" and then noticed that Bastila had come into the bay. She gave the droid a hard look and inquired as to what it was. I told her that it spoke the Sand People dialect and we would need it to attempt a peaceful compromise with the Sand People. She nodded and asked if I was going to attempt another repair but I said that I needed to think about how to do the next repair as it was much harder than the previous ones. Besides I suspected she might insist on scrapping the droid if she knew its capabilities and for some reason I had grown attached to the homicidal thing. I found it amusing to listen to and had no doubt that with the proper upgrades it would be a powerful combat droid.  
  
She glanced at me and I put on an innocent face, and told her I was going to bed and would she like to accompany us tomorrow? She agreed and I asked if Carth had told her about the dark Jedi? She blinked and said that no he hadn't what was I talking about. I handed her the datapad and she examined it and grimaced. "This means that every dark Jedi will be looking for us to collect this bounty. I guess I should be flattered at the amount." Bastila said. I nodded and showed her the short lightsaber I had gotten; she complemented me on how well I had set in the new crystal and handed it back to me. I decided that she seemed in a talkative mood and decided to see if I could get her to tell me more of her past.  
  
I asked casually "Bastila, how did you come to join the Jedi?" She glanced at me and said "I was found to be strong with the Force at a young age, as most Padawans are. As a girl I was given to the Order to be trained. When I joined the Order I left my family on Talravin, as all Padawans do. My family is still there, the last that I heard. I have had little contact with them, as it is discouraged."  
  
I was puzzled and asked why; Bastila replied "Relationships with family members are fraught with powerful emotions. Such extremes are to be avoided. Anger and hate are the worst, but even love can lead to folly." I remembered how my team mates had groaned over their counseling sessions and agreed to some extent.  
  
I asked "You aren't allowed to love?" Bastila said "Emotional entanglements can be dangerous. They can impair rational thought; they can lead to outbursts of uncontrolled emotion. A Jedi must be above such things." I asked her "Don't you miss your family at all?" I was caught by the sense that no matter what she was saying about accepting the Jedi and letting go of her attachments to her family that she had done nothing of the sort. She still obviously thought of her father fondly and idolized him and she blamed her mother for insisting that her father hunt and how she had whittled away her father's fortune. She also blamed her mother for giving her to the Jedi.  
  
I wondered if she realized what she had just told me, she still had that child's understanding of her family frozen in time, she had never been permitted to find out if it was accurate or not. From listening to my team mates discussions of their families I had knew that a child's understanding of their parent's relationship was seldom correct as it was simple and one dimensional. Adult relationships were complicated, and often both partners fell into roles that, healthy or no, both of them to some extent agreed upon, even if it was unconscious.  
  
I also realized that whether she realized it or not she resented the Jedi for taking her away from her father. No matter what her words of understanding the wisdom of their policy, and of sacrificing personal desires, the emotions I felt through the bond were ones of suppressed resentment.  
  
I was not surprised when she said that she really did not want to continue the conversation. I nodded and paused and gave her a hug, and told her she could talk to me at any time if she wanted to discuss it more. I put forth all the acceptance and non-judgment that I was feeling into the words and could see that it was making an impact on her. She nodded and said that it was definitely past time for us to go to bed if we wanted to be well rested for tomorrow. In the night I heard her tossing and got up and went over and laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder. She never woke but settled into a more peaceful sleep. I brushed my lips over the shoulder I had touched and went back to my own bunk to try and find some sleep for myself. 


	13. Tatooine Mothers and Sand People

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own.   
  
Tatooine – Mothers and Sand People  
  
The next morning Bastila, HK-47 and I set out to explore the area surrounding Anchorhead. Hopefully, we would acquire some Sand People robes and discover the location of the Sand People camp. On the way out the gate my attention was caught by a Jawa beckoning to me. I walked over to see what it wanted. The Jawa said that its name was Iziz and it was the leader of its tribe as I was of mine. I puzzled out what it said and realized that it was correct, I had automatically taken over the leadership position in our team. Bastila had even automatically accepted that I was the leader of the group. I hadn't even really thought about it before.  
  
From what the Jawa said the Sand People had made captives of his tribe and he wanted me to free them. Why not I thought, I was going there anyway. He said something about the fact that Anchorhead had been settled over and over, and how his people scavenged pieces of ships that fell after battles above. I was puzzled over what this could mean and Bastila said "It could be that this Jawa knows things about this planet's history that the Republic has no inkling of." I asked him if he knew anything about a Star Map and he said that he did. Iziz promised that he would trade information about the Star Map we were seeking for the freedom of his tribe.  
  
I showed my hunting license to the gate guard and he let me out. Standing just outside the gate was a woman heading back into Anchorhead. I nodded to her and she paused and said "You must be a hunter, when you see Tanis, and I know you know him, tell him his wife enjoys the anniversary gift." I paused trying to place the name then grimaced and nodded to her, the obnoxious man at the hunting lodge. I looked at her wondering what she had done to the man and said "Anniversary gift? What are you talking about?" She smirked and said "Just a little something to remember me by. Something that symbolizes our years together. Something that will blow up in his face. Of course, he'll never understand how appropriate it is. He can't talk his way out of this one he's not smart enough." I said "You sound like your planning on killing him." She laughed and said "Oh I'm through planning. I just left him a little mess that he has to take care of. If he's smart, he'll be just fine. But he's not smart." With that she went back into Anchorhead.  
  
I sighed and looked out into the desert where she had been staring. Sure enough I could barely see a figure surrounded by several droids. The figure was not moving. I grumbled, I really hadn't like the guy but I couldn't just ignore the fact that he was out there either. I started for the figure and I could tell Bastila was puzzled over the entire situation. There was also a large sandcrawler in the distance with plumes of smoke rising from it. I decided to check on the hunter first since he was closer then check out whether something was wrong with the sandcrawler.  
  
As we got closer Tanis called out for help, he didn't look too good and I wondered how long he had been out here. He promptly started flirting with both Bastila and I, I was astounded at the audacity of the man. He paused in his attempts to ask me to help him fix the droids. Bastila said "I say we leave him." I paused and looked at her amused; she really had taken an immediate dislike to the man. Tanis said "You're pretty heartless for such a pretty lady you know?" Bastila stared at him and said "I take it back, let's go congratulate his wife." HK-47 chose this moment to chime in and say "I say we blast the meatbag and save you the trouble, master." Tanis drooped and said "What's with all the droids lately, my wife get to you too?" I looked at HK and Bastila and chuckled, and Tanis said to me "I'd really appreciate a bit of help, please."  
  
I told him to hold on and went around to the droids seeing what I could do. I accessed the system message and had to snicker when I read it. All the problems were logic puzzles and it took me a few moments to figure out the correct programming changes to make. Shortly, however, I had all the droids fixed and Tanis said "Thanks for the help, I would have been a goner, Heh and the old bat thought I was dead." I frowned at him and he said "Now my dear lady, I must see to your reward. Will uh earthly delights suffice?" I just looked at him and he stepped back and said "Er... I suppose not. You never asked me for anything, but I consider my life worth something. Please, take this. I insist." I thanked him and he ran back to Anchorhead with his droids. Bastila looked at me and said "What an unpleasant man." I agreed but said that we could hardly leave him out here to die of thirst. Bastila wrinkled her nose at me and nodded saying "I knew you would help him, let's see if that sandcrawler needs some assistance."  
  
They did indeed need help, as we got closer it was apparent that the sandcrawler had been attacked and was motionless in the sand. A few miners stood under its shade looking wildly about and startling at our approach. Their leader barely had time to tell me that the Sand People had attacked them when a small group of Sand People attacked. Bastila, HK and I beat them off quickly and they were followed by three more waves. I force jumped to the nearest group and released my adrenals and was whittling down the group when Bastila trotted up and helped giving me an odd look as she did so. I wondered what it was for until I realized that it was the first time I had used my Force powers that way around her.  
  
It was not a skill taught to me, but something I had worked out on my own. And it was so fun to use even if it was slightly crazed. There was nothing like springing into the mist of enemies who were not expecting you to arrive so quickly. We finally beat off the waves and Bastila turned to me and said "Who taught you guardian skills?" I looked at her and said "No one it just seemed a logical use of the Force so I figured out how to do it on my own. You should really try it; it's rather a lot of fun. Even if Carth thinks I'm crazy for using it." I grinned at her but she continued to look at me oddly then shook herself and said "That tactic of the Guardians always seemed crazed to me as well, so I'll leave it to Juhani and you. Why did you choose Sentinel anyway it doesn't really fit you. I expected you to choose Guardian or maybe even Councilor."  
  
We were walking back to the sandcrawler and I answered her in a low voice "Well I wanted both actually and Sentinel seemed a good middle ground since I couldn't make up my mind between the two." She shook her head at me and said "So Sentinel isn't truly your path, you should not have chosen it then." I replied to her "Well they didn't have a Guardian/Councilor type which does feel like my path. So why, not since none of the choices fit." She looked at me but just shook her head since we had arrived back at the sandcrawler.  
  
The captain thanked us even though he seemed a bit nervous around us for some reason. He told us that the company had gotten turrets to set about the mining route but the Sand People had gotten the Jawa's to disable them and had set them up around their own camp. I nodded and thanked him, I hoped that our plan would work and we wouldn't be attacked as soon as the Sand People realized we were not members of their tribe.  
  
Behind the sandcrawler was what looked like the wreck of two land speeders, there was still smoke rising from the wreckage and we hurried over to see if there was anyone left alive. Something was wrong about the scene though and I said as much as we approached and activated my energy shield. It was too obvious; this was a set up, probably the Gamorreans. I was cautious as I approached the wreckage and heard the voice of a female human coming from the wreck crying out for help. Even still the blast caught me by surprise and though I avoided most of it I was still injured.  
  
The three Gamorreans ran up and demanded 500 credits; I said "Is this how you have been killing the hunters? Remember when I said there was justice on the dunes? You have two choices die here or stop attacking people. Which shall it be?" Gurke said "What? Attack them! They are trying to fight!" The three immediately attacked us which was not a bright move on their parts for they were soon dead. Bastila asked me why I had said what I did and I told her of the woman Mission, Carth and I had helped yesterday. I said "I could have persuaded them to leave us alone, but that would have left them free to kill others who could not defend themselves. That doesn't seem right to me, so that's why I gave them the choices I did." She nodded thoughtfully and didn't say anything more.  
  
We wandered around the dunes a bit more and were attacked by Sand People several times. We collected enough robes to try the deception, but agreed that we wanted them cleaned and sterilized before wearing them. After a few hours we returned to the ship and gave the robes to T3 to clean and mend.  
  
While the robes were being cleaned and mended I decided to see if I couldn't repair HK again. When the repair was completed HK told me that he had recovered the last of his deleted memory but unfortunately his history was still not complete. Most of his memory was locked in his core and he could not access it. He said that perhaps some external stimuli might eventually activate it but he had no idea what that might be. He said that he had completed an assassination in Mandalorian space though he could not remember what the target had been or who had sent him. His motor functions had been damaged and he was claimed by a Mandalorian soldier who had proceeded to use his functions to raise his rank. Eventually the soldier had sent the droid against the current Mandalore. HK was captured in the attempt and reprogrammed to assassinate the soldier instead. HK had promptly deactivated himself after the successful assassination of his owner and had then been sold to the Hutt on Sleheyron. He was however able to access several Mandalorian implants that would improve his performance, and gave him a limited self-repair ability.  
  
By the evening the robes were ready and Bastila and I decided to take advantage of the evening light to attempt our deception. Bastila wanted to talk with me before we left though and I could sense that she had been carefully preparing another speech. I groaned to myself but reminded myself to be nice to her; perhaps she needed to tell herself something.  
  
She told me that she had been watching my progress since my training. I raised my eyebrows at her and said "I think we both know the real reason you've been watching me" and I grinned at her and waited for the outburst. Unfortunately she was beginning to catch on to my game, and she merely narrowed her eyes and said "You never give up, do you? I admit I'm interested in you. I find you intriguing. Compelling, even. But it's not what you think. You have a great gift. You have an awesome command of the Force, and I tremble when I think of how you might misuse it." At the word tremble I glanced at her and watched her flush slightly at my intense look but I decided not to bait her anymore and merely replied "I won't misuse my power, Bastila."  
  
She drew in a breath, probably in relief, and said "I've seen how you have resisted many temptations and continue to walk the path of the light side." She continued trying to tell me what the dark side was, how it was not simply giving into anger or temptation to use the Force to destructive ends. She said that it begged you to surrender to it, to release all its terrible power. I was beginning to get worried because it sounded like she had heard its sirens call entirely too clearly. I had heard it as well but I well knew from my training of the path it represented, and that it was no path I wanted to tread. Bastila was saying "And once you stop resisting, it is too late. It twists you up inside and... and turns you into a mockery of everything you once stood for."  
  
I said to her "You seem to know that temptation very well" with concern in my voice. She stopped and focused on me seeing that I was more concerned for her than myself. She shook her head and said "I am no less resistant to temptation than any other. I simply have the benefit of training that you do not. But even the training of the Jedi might not be enough to save us." I shook my head aggravated by the tone of self-defeat, but she took it to be disagreement and continued "We only need to look at the atrocities which have been committed by those under its sway to understand the terrible, corrupting evil of the dark side. Millions dead, and far more suffering. What sort of person would you have to become to perform such deeds gladly?"  
  
I answered honestly "I don't know." She nodded and said "Neither do I and I hope I never do." She continued to say how it was easy to think that you could not fall, but the Sith had become powerful because so many Jedi had joined them. The Jedi were weakened while the Sith were strengthened. She said "We must harden our hearts and do whatever is required to fight against the dark side. Even when the battle becomes wearying." I wondered if she were talking about hardening her heart to the attraction between us or something else entirely. I asked "Do whatever is required? Such as?" Bastila replied "I don't know. The vision of our future is clouded by shadows cast from the dark side. But I sense something ominous lurking in those shadows."  
  
She left the conversation at that and we went to pick up the robes from T3 to attempt the deception. We put on all but the head pieces on the ship, and put our robes over the garments. The head piece wrappings would of course have to wait until we got out of the sight of the Anchorhead walls.  
  
As we were walking out of the Ebon Hawk I was paying half attention to my surroundings and trying to figure out what Bastila had been trying to talk about. I was trying to figure out if there was some new type of approach the dark side used with Jedi that I hadn't seen during my Covert Ops training. The only one I could figure out was that with my new powers the temptation to be all powerful had gotten stronger. It had always been a temptation I had to fight with my strong desire to lead and my dislike of being wrong in any way. Now with the power at my fingertips to play at being a small god it was stronger, maybe I had given into it with the Gamorreans or maybe I hadn't. In any case it would be wise of me to keep the temptation in mind when I made decisions. I supposed anyone that got a taste of power had to face this particular demon and overcome it. I just had to keep in mind that I was not intrinsically any better than anyone else, force sensitive or no.  
  
As we were walking through Anchorhead a Twi'lek woman approached us saying "Excuse me... I know it's been a very long time, dear, but aren't you Bastila, Helena's little girl? yes - it's you! I can see it in the eyes. My how you've grown." This pulled me out of my reverie and I looked at Bastila who appeared rather startled and said "I am Bastila, yes. I take it that you know my mother?"  
  
The woman introduced herself as Malare and said that she had worked for Bastila's mother and father on an expedition years ago and had recognized Bastila from holo's Helena had shown her. Bastila said "Is there something I can you for you miss? As you can see, we are in quite a hurry." I said to her "Don't be rude, Bastila." I got a look for my efforts but I didn't care. The woman apologized and asked if Bastila's mother's condition had improved. Bastila was confused and told the woman she had not seen her mother since joining the Jedi Order. Now the woman was very uncomfortable and told us that she had seen Bastila's mother here on Tatooine and that her mother was very ill. I told Bastila that we should go see her mother; I could tell she didn't want to but I wasn't really going to give her any options. It was past time for her to deal with her feelings about her mother.  
  
On the way we got clear indications that her mother was still in the cantina, I was hard put not to snicker and was quickly wondering whether or not part of the problem between the two was that they were too alike. No one could top Bastila's high and mighty attitude either when she got going. This should be one interesting meeting, hopefully I could keep the bloodshed to a minimum. We got to the cantina and I could immediately tell who Helena was, yep same type of princess attitude, except in her mother it was more of a queenly attitude. No wonder the two fought even when Bastila was a child.  
  
The reunion got of to as wonderful a start as I expected then took a downward turn when Helena told us that Bastila's father had died. I felt Bastila's pain and then her anger as she attacked her mother saying "Dead? What happened? What did you do to him?!" Helena turned to me saying "Isn't this a lovely reunion? Already she is flinging insults at me. Tell me.... you're one of her friends. Do you treat your mother this way?" I looked at the both of them and said "I have lost my memory of my childhood, I do not remember what my mother or father looked like, nor whether or not it was a loving relationship or no. From my records though they are both dead so I will never know." Helena said to me "Is that so? Well, I'll be joining her soon enough, I suppose." I looked at her and extended my force senses and could tell that she wasn't lying she was dying. Bastila was ignoring that she could do the same and I resolved that I would make sure that the two were reconciled even if I had to drag Bastila into it.  
  
Bastila asked what her mother had gotten her father into that killed him and Helena responded saying "I hadn't realized Jedi were so spiteful. You want me to tell you I brought your father here for an expedition, do you? You want to blame me for his death? You never accepted that your father loved going on his treasure hunts, leaving you alone with me. I was always to blame for everything, what else is new?" I could tell that she was still being truthful and wondered that Bastila still wasn't using her abilities; did she just not want to see that Helena was telling the truth? Helena continued "So yes, fine. I brought your father here to look for kryat dragon pearls. He took and expedition into the Tatooine desert and he died." She told us that he had been hunting and was attacked by a krayt dragon; one of the guides had managed to get away and had seen him being killed. She asked that we find his holocron and bring it to her. Bastila was still being petty and asked "Why? So you can sell it?" at that comment I gave her a hard look to let her know that she was now really behaving badly. She caught the look and had the grace to blush.  
  
Helena said "Is it too much to ask that I have something to remember your father by? Of course it is, isn't it? You couldn't be bothered." I felt bad for the woman, she hadn't realized how much her daughter still resented her and it was hurting her. Bastila mumbled something about us not having time and shot me a desperate look that I ignored asking her instead if she didn't want to find her father's remains. She asked what remains would there be? I asked her what about your mother's sickness? Bastila turned around and asked "Are you actually sick, Mother?" Helena said "What difference does it make to you? None, I'm sure. Just find your father's holocron and you won't have to worry about me again either way." The conversation ended badly but Bastila agreed that we would look for the holocron if we had time. The feelings I was getting from her disturbed me and I resolved to try and get her to talk about them as soon as possible. But for right now we needed to get out to the Sand People camp if we were to even make the attempt. I said as much to Bastila and she agreed we needed to get moving.  
  
We passed the now deserted crawler and paused on the other side of it to don our disguises, then continued on to where the Sand People camp was supposed to be. The disguises worked and we were able to approach the Sand People camp and enter it. As soon as we entered the camp the guard recognized that we were not sand people. HK was able to communicate with him and we were stripped of our sand people clothing and taken to their chieftain. The chieftain required a show of good faith before he would believe that we meant peace. He wanted us to bring back moisture vaporators before he would agree to talk to us. He had already been planning on moving his tribe further away from Anchorhead and needed these to build up stores of water first. I agreed and we were escorted outside. We put back on our robes and proceeded rapidly back to Anchorhead. By my estimation we easily had time to make the round trip this evening.  
  
I managed to purchase two moisture vaporators from the Czeka office without revealing what they were for and we returned to the Sand People camp with them. The Sand People looked at us with disgust but allowed us to approach unmolested. We were taken to the chieftain again and I presented the moisture vaporators. He gave me his chieftain's gaffi as a reward. I then asked about Missions brother Griff, he appeared almost hopeful that I would take him off their hands and said that he was without any semblance of usefulness to them.  
  
I then asked about the captive Jawa's and was told they had lived past their usefulness and if I wanted them I could take them. I then had HK ask him about whether or not they had ever seen a Star Map and he said yes but they had not scavenged it since a krayt dragon had taken up residence in the cavern that contained it. I wondered if coincidences would continue and this might be the same dragon that killed Bastila's father. I thanked the chieftain for the map he gave us and we went to free the captives. I found the Jawa's first and freed them telling them they could run to Anchorhead. Then I found Mission's brother. He wanted to surprise Mission and was planning on going to the space port to see her; I said that we would travel with him. He looked uncertain as did Bastila, but I wasn't about to leave Mission alone to deal with her brother unsupported. It was late anyway and the Star Map would have to wait until the morning. I said to Bastila "Our other task will have to wait till morning anyway; it is too late today to properly scout out the area." She reluctantly nodded and we proceeded with Griff back to the ship.  
  
I made Griff wait outside the ship and let Mission know we had found her brother; she accompanied me back outside the ship to see him. Griff did seem to be happy that Mission was still alive and had not died on Taris. Then Mission asked him whether or not it was his idea to leave her on Taris. Griff danced around the subject and then claimed that he had always meant to go back to Taris for her as soon as he got some credits. I could see Mission droop as she realized the truth and I put a supportive hand on her shoulder. She glanced at me and straightened back up and asked him how he could have done that. He said that she hadn't needed him anymore, and besides she looked like she was doing well financially, and could she spare him some credits. Mission stared at him and said "You... you're hitting me up for credits? I don't believe this! Lena was right about you, Griff! We should have just left you to the Sand People! Don't talk to me anymore - ever!" With the last she stormed back into the ship.  
  
Griff looked at me and said "Huh... that didn't go well. Sis always was a little too fiery for her own good. She'll cool down in time" I just looked at him and he promptly begged me for some credits. I was fairly sure that he was telling the truth that he was absolutely broke and gave him 100 credits. Griff said that he had a job already lined up and would I stop by later to see him about some plan that he had. I sighed but agreed that I would at least hear him out.  
  
I decided to go ahead and report to the Czeka Office and turn in the chieftain's gaffi. The officer there took the gaffi at face value and thanked me for taking care of the situation; I merely nodded and accepted my payment. They didn't need to know exactly how I had taken care of the situation. 


	14. Tatooine  Helena, a holocron and an irat...

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own.   
  
Tattoine – Helana, a holocron, and an irate dragon  
  
I returned to the ship and went looking for Bastila, she was lying down in her bunk and I sat down beside her and realized she had been crying. I realized suddenly she hadn't had any chance to mourn her father and I felt terrible. We hadn't paused between her learning of her father's death and proceeding to the chieftain's camp. I didn't say anything but sat next to her and rested a comforting hand on her back and sent feelings of sympathy and concern through our bond. She finally turned over and sat up tears on her face, it was all I could do not to kiss her. I held out my arms instead and she leaned against me and cried into my chest while I held her and stroked her hair. She finally stopped crying and went and washed her face and came back, I could tell she was ready to talk about her mother now.  
  
I asked her about why she didn't want to find the holocron and she said we had more important things to do and even if we found it she didn't know if she wanted to give it to her mother. Her father had recorded all of his thoughts in it and it would be like having him with her. She didn't see why her mother deserved it, since she drove him to his death. She had loved him and she hadn't even had a chance to say goodbye. I said "You would keep it for yourself?" I was careful to make the statement entirely neutral and kept my feelings neutral. The last thing she needed right now was me judging her, she needed to find her own way for herself, she had been told quite enough times how she was expected to feel. She said "I don't know. Part of me would keep it just so she didn't get it. I don't like that part of me. I would have thought my Jedi training would have put me past this kind of pettiness. I wish..." she trailed off and I let her think for a moment then moved the subject.  
  
I asked her why she didn't believe her mother was sick? Bastila said "Mother used to lie about many things to get her way. She is a selfish woman who pushed my father into doing what she wished." I replied "You sound bitter." She said "Yes, I... thought I had let go of that anger. All my training, and it comes back so quickly..." She said "surely you could tell she was lying about that." and looked at me.  
  
I said "You could have determined that yourself, it isn't my place to determine it for you." I could tell she was surprised by my statement but realized that she could have at any time determined if her mother was lying but she had chosen not to. I could see doubt entering her mind and she asked me "Please tell me, was she lying? Did you sense any deception from her?" I looked at her and said "I still think you should determine that for yourself but.... yes I did use the force to see if she was lying, I could sense no deception from her during the entire conversation." I could see her pause shocked and she looked at me searchingly, I looked back at her and let her see that I was concerned for her.  
  
She said "You must think badly of me then for how I acted." and lowered her head. I put one finger under her chin and raised her eyes to meet mine and said "No." I put all of my acceptance of her into the word and thought of how much I was coming to love this complicated woman in front of me. She looked confused and looked away from me while I got my feelings for her back under control but I could tell she was comforted by my response.  
  
I said to her "Would you allow me to share a story with you about one of my team mates? Since I don't remember my own family his will have to do." I smiled as I said this and she nodded. I told her of how Ricco's parents had divorced when he was very young; he had always blamed his father for the divorce since he remembered his father always arguing with his mother over things. During training he was required to get back in contact with his mother and ask her what she had thought of his father. She had been puzzled over his memory of the relationship and told him that they had been arguing because his father did not want the divorce. But she knew that she did not love him any more and wanted him to move on and find someone who would truly love him and before she grew to hate him for keeping her trapped in a relationship she didn't want anymore. He went looking for his father to try and mend the relationship but found out he had recently died. It took him along time to deal with the fact that he had shut his father out unfairly and that now he would never have the chance to get to really know him.  
  
Bastila looked at me and said "but I remember them arguing about his hunting..." she paused and I could tell she was trying to remember the exact words of the argument. Bastila said "I cannot remember the words anymore, just the fact they were arguing over him leaving me behind. Mother would not let him take me along on his hunts." I said "So your mother refused to let him take you along?" she nodded to me and I said "Ok so why don't we take Sasha with us tomorrow." She stared at me like I was insane and said "What are you talking about we can't take her into such a dangerous...." she paused and I could see it sinking in. I could see how confused she was and I said "Enough thinking for tonight, sleep on it and see if things make more sense tomorrow. You have had a very difficult and emotional day today." She nodded and then paused and said "would... would you stay with me a bit till I sleep?" I nodded and she lay down. I laid down beside her and gently stroked her hair and never realized when I fell asleep.  
  
I woke up in the morning and realized I had fallen asleep in Bastila's bed again. I wondered what the other women had thought but they were already gone when I woke up. She was lying curled up against my chest lightly snoring. I had to grin at this and watched her as she woke up and stretched sinuously against me. My blood started to pound and I had to fight to keep my desires under control and wait for her to wake up fully. She suddenly froze as she realized what she was doing and scooted away from me looking to see if I was awake. I knew the extent of my desire had to be written on my face but I got up and said that I was going to shower and I hoped she had had a restful sleep. I went to take a cold shower and get my thoughts under control and on the day's task.  
  
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As Cait left saying she was going to shower Bastila was trying to sink into the bed and just disappear in embarrassment. She couldn't believe what she had done when she had woken. She hadn't been fully awake and was just aware for that moment that it had felt so wonderful to wake up with Cait there and how good Cait had felt next to her. She had stretched along Cait's body enjoying the feeling before fully realizing what she was doing. She had hoped desperately that Cait was still asleep but no such luck. Cait's eyes and the feelings surging through the bond told her clearly the state of Cait's arousal but Cait had merely said that she had hoped Bastila had a restful sleep and that she was going to shower.  
  
Bastila lectured herself some and then thought about how kind and wonderful Cait had been to her the night before. She had deserved one of the lectures she had frequently given Cait but instead Cait had been accepting of her bitterness and anger and had helped her see that she might have misjudged her mother. She didn't know what she felt about her mother but Cait's story had made its mark. If her mother was dying she might never get the chance to find out what was the truth unless she acted now to find out.  
  
She wasn't sure what she felt for Cait, she had been jealous during her training watching how apparently effortlessly the woman breezed though her lessons. How easily all the skills came to her. She was slightly resentful of how easily doing the right thing apparently came to Cait. She tried to remember if Revan had been the same way but found it difficult to remember what Revan had been like, thoughts of Cait overshadowed her. She realized with a shock that she really thought of Cait as a totally separate person from Revan. She knew that she had played an important part in Revan's fall but she had not made Revan choose the dark side or walk the path, those had been Revan's choices.  
  
She couldn't understand how Revan and Malak had fallen and it made her afraid that somehow Cait would fall prey to the same weakness. She desperately hoped that she would find some way to keep Cait at arms length and get her to accept that they could just be friends. Jedi could not afford to love it was too dangerous. Now if only her on rebellious feelings and thoughts about Cait would cooperate.  
  
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Bastila, HK-47 and I followed the map the next morning and ventured into the Eastern Dune Sea. We hadn't gone far when I spotted the cavern the Sand People chieftain had spoken of. There was a land speeder out front and two hunters. We were walking up to them when one of the hunters lost his patience and entered the cavern. There was a roar and then a quickly cut off scream from the cavern then silence. As we got closer I recognized the remaining hunter Komad Fortuna from the Hunting Lodge and went over to speak with him.  
  
The Twi'lek hunter told me that he had placed mines about the entrance to the lair and that we could lure the dragon out using a bantha herd that was in the area. I asked him why he was using mines and he told me that it was indeed unsporting but the dragon's hunting range extended deep into settled areas. The dragon was too large for us to take down by ourselves without the mines, and too dangerous to be left alone. I showed him the bantha fodder I had forgotten I had on me until he mentioned it and he pointed me in the direction of the bantha herd with a warning that the local Sand People would probably attack us when we tried to lure their bantha closer.  
  
As he had predicted a small group of Sand People noticed us luring the bantha's away and attacked. They were stronger than the Sand People around Anchorhead but they were no match for the three of us. After they were dead we continued leading the banthas toward the kryat dragon's cavern and placed the fodder on the ground where Komad indicated. We then withdrew and watched for the dragon. The ground rumbled as the huge beast came out from the cavern, I was amazed at the sheer size of it. It was easily as large as the largest sandcrawler I had seen on the planet. After the mines had killed it Komad made a small incision in the beasts hide and found the kryat dragon pearls in its gullet. There were two of them and he handed me one thanking me for my assistance and reminded me to not let the spoils of the hunt be the only reason for killing. I assured him that I would not and he left for Anchorhead.  
  
We proceeded into the cavern hoping that it would contain the Star Map. As we explored the caverns we found some lightsaber crystals, one of which was a very unusual saber crystal that was colored violet. I could detect no hint of the light or dark side about it and asked Bastila about it but she did not have any answer as to what it was either. I was intrigued by the color though and carefully pocketed it as well as another saber crystal. We proceeded further into the cavern and found a lone tattered equipment pack, Bastila slowly walked up to it and opened it and paled. We had found her father's equipment pack; the holocron was the sole item remaining in it. I looked further into the cave and saw the Star Map device, it could wait though. Bastila held the holocron for a moment and then placed it carefully in her pack and nodded to me. We went and activated the Star Map.  
  
As we were exiting the cavern we could tell that we had some unexpected and uninvited guests waiting for us. Calo Nord and four other bounty hunters. We activated our energy shields and prepared for a fight. Calo refused to negotiate and began firing at us as soon as we got close enough. He was quick and managed to hit me with blaster bolts a few times before I was able to bring him down, the wounds were painful but I refused to let them affect me until after the fight. Bastila was more worried about my wounds afterward than I was, insisting that I allow her to force heal me. I sat back and relaxed and let her heal me even though it wasn't really needed. It was nice to know that she really did care for me.  
  
As we approached Anchorhead I asked Bastila what she would do now that she had the holocron. She asked me if I thought she should and I asked her if she needed it more than her mother did. Bastila said "I would like to keep something to remember Father as much as she would. I'll think about it. I should... try and remember my training. I should be able to let go of this, but I can't. I don't want to talk about this anymore. Let's... keep going." I gave her a reassuring clasp on her shoulder and we went into Anchorhead, as we went through town I asked her if she wanted to go by the cantina now or wait till later. I didn't give the option of not going to the cantina at all and I'm sure she noticed. She sighed and finally indicated that we might as well go now.  
  
I prepared myself for what was likely to be a difficult few moments. Helena started the conversation saying "Back already? Have you even looked for the holocron, yet?" I groaned to myself and Bastila replied to her mother "I have the holocron, Mother. I'm just not sure I want to give it to you." Helena looked saddened and said "And why not, would you deny me even that?" Bastila said angrily "I've never denied you anything, Mother. You may think I don't remember what it was like before I left for the order, but I do. You were the one who pushed Father to go on one treasure hunt after the other. You loved living in wealth. You think I don't remember the fights? You were eager to send me to the Jedi, even though I didn't want to go. You took Father away from me, and now this holocron is all I have of him."  
  
Helena replied "Fool girl! You have a strange way of remembering things. That wasn't..." But Bastila cut her off saying "No. I don't wish to argue with you any more, Mother. It's time we parted ways, now, for both our benefit." They were staring at each other angrily at this point and I said to Bastila "Maybe you should listen to what she has to say." I got an angry look for it but didn't back down, I wasn't judging her but I wasn't allowing her to run from the situation either. Bastila said to me "You don't know her. My mother is notoriously deceptive when she wants something. Why should she have the holocron?" Helena said sadly "Is it too difficult to believe that I am a dying woman who simply wishes to see her husband one last time?" Bastila looked at her still angry and said "I find it difficult to believe anything you say, Mother."  
  
I shook my head and said "Maybe one of you should be the first to give the other a break?" Bastila sighed and said "You're right. It shames me, but I just... I find it difficult to... let go of the past. I'm... sorry Mother." Helena said to Bastila "I was hard on you, dear. I wasn't a very good mother to you, I know that. Your father loved you so... He wanted you to be just like him... he wanted to take you on his hunts, but I said they were too dangerous."  
  
It was the opening I had been looking for and I asked Helena "Yet you let your husband go on these dangerous expeditions." I could tell that Bastila finally had started using her force powers and she was listening to her mother with more than just her ears. Helena replied to me "I always tried to keep him from the dangerous ones, but he would have none of it. It was a reckless life we led, always moving... I didn't want that for you." The last was said to Bastila. Bastila could not argue with what her force senses were telling her, her mother was not lying to her. Bastila said "So that's why you gave me to the Order?"  
  
Helena said "What do your father and I have to show for all those years of hunting? Nothing. That was no life for anyone, especially not someone as gifted as you. Your father... he spent all his last years trying to pay for my treatments. That's why he went for the pearls. I begged him not to but..." Bastila interrupted saying "Your treatments." Helena nodded and said "I'm dying, Bastila. I did not lie about that. It's been a long time coming, and there is really nothing that can be done anymore. I told your father to let me go, but you know how he was. Stubborn. Like you..."  
  
Bastila glanced at me and then her mother and said "I'm so sorry, Mother. I don't know what to say..." Helena looked at her and said "Keep the holocron, Bastila. It would do me good to know you have it. This... talking to you... this is what I really needed before I..." Bastila said "I know, Mother. Thank you. I'm glad we talked, too."  
  
They stood staring at each other and I finally said "Bastila don't you think you should hug your Mother, I think both of you could use one." Bastila looked at me and I could see Helena look hopefully at her daughter. Bastila looked at her mother and finally saw what I did, that her mother had been very hurt by Bastila's coldness and bitterness toward her. Bastila took one hesitant step then quickly crossed the distance between them and mother and daughter embraced. I have no doubt there were some tears but I turned my back and glared at anyone foolish enough to glance over toward us until they were done.  
  
I turned back around when Helena said "Well, now. You said you had important business, and you were never one to mince words. You there... you take care of my daughter, you hear me?" I nodded to her and said "I will do my best." Helena replied "That's good. I'll feel a lot better knowing there's someone to watch her."  
  
Bastila asked "Where are you going to go?" Helena replied to her "It doesn't matter, dear. Don't you worry about me." Bastila pulled out her credit fold and handed it to her mother saying "Here. Take these 500 credits. It's all I have. Go to Coruscant and find a doctor. I'll meet you there after... after what I have to do." Helena said "But I already told you there's nothing that can..." Bastila pressed the credits into her hand saying "Please, take it. I... want to see you again. When we can talk." Helena sighed and said Alright, I will. Now you do what you have to, Bastila. You go make your father and I proud." Bastila smiled shyly back at her and said "I'll try. Farewell, Mother."  
  
With that she straightened and walked out of the cantina, I paused a second and handed Helena a tightly wrapped roll of credits and told her "She needs to talk to you again, so you stay alive. Here take this, that 500 credits won't go far but this should. Don't unroll that here just tuck it away, its enough to draw dangerous attention to you." I walked out of the cantina before she could say anything and grinned to myself, there had been 4000 credits in the roll I gave her. That should be enough to pay for her medical care for a short while. I caught up to Bastila and we walked silently back to the Ebon Hawk.  
  
It was late in the evening and I decided we would stay one more night before leaving in the morning so we could have some supplies delivered. It left me time to check on everyone which was something I hadn't really taken the time for in a few days. Mission was still angry at her brother and worried about the 'job' he had for me. Which reminded me that I should go see him, I had forgotten about it until she mentioned it. Canderous had another story to tell me about how he had taken advantage of an unexpected tactical mistake by the Althiri and with his unit had defeated a force ten times their size. It had gained him command of an entire sub-sect of his clan.  
  
I had a chance to talk to Juhani as well and asked her more about her past, apparently the Jedi on the way to the Mandalorian Wars were the ones that she remembered from her child hood. She said the peace they had brought lasted only while they were there and as soon as they left the humans had begun to persecute them again. I reminded her that all species were capable of intolerance and she agreed but pointed out that humans seemed to be the most pervasive. I had to agree with her on that point. She got angry during our discussion and stopped and apologized for her outburst. I pointed out that it was okay just so long as she didn't let it influence her. She thanked me for not lashing out back at her and started meditating; I left her to her thoughts.  
  
Carth wanted to apologize for his behavior and this time I had the feeling he meant it, I was thankful he had stopped with the romantic nonsense and pleased when he referred to me as partner when I accepted his apology. I understood his feelings of uselessness on this mission and resolved to make sure he was more of a participant in the planetside missions rather than only being our pilot.  
  
Bastila stopped me on my rounds and thanked me for urging her toward the reconciliation with her mother. She said "That brought me a lot of peace. More than I thought it would have." I smiled to her and gave her a quick hug and went to get something to eat before I was tempted to think of more than hugging her.  
  
I went the next morning to see what bright idea Griff had come up with, he wanted me to get some tach glands so that he could brew a batch of Tarisian ale. The Exchange was willing to synthesize it and sell it. I reluctantly told him that if I came across some of them I would make the trip back and give them to him. I wasn't willing to kill the innocent creatures for them though. He nodded and asked me to hurry since he had told the Exchange that he already had the glands. I groaned and resisted the temptation to smack him upside the head. I also remembered to go see Iziz the Jawa, we had already found the Star Map but I thought I should make sure his people had gotten back to Anchorhead alright. It took some hunting around but I finally spotted him, he thanked me for their return and gave me another map of the Eastern Dune Sea. I didn't mention that I had already been there and thanked him for the map.  
  
After I returned from Anchorhead we set out for Dantooine to return Sasha to her father. I was able to find Lur and convince him to come aboard and see if the girl was indeed Sasha, he was convinced she was and I told Sasha that he was going to take her home. She appeared rather uncertain but thanked me and went with Lur to meet her father. 


	15. Kashyyyk Czerka and an old Jedi coot

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own.   
  
Kashyyyk – Czerka and an old Jedi coot  
  
We stayed on Dantooine and resupplied, and Bastila and I informed the council on our progress so far. They encouraged us to return to our task and I assured them we would be leaving for Kashyyyk first thing in the morning. It did the crew good to be able to relax and all of us get good nights sleep.  
  
Juhari stopped me during my inspection of the ship to thank me for my and the crew's acceptance of her. I asked what she meant and she told me that Cathar did not usually do well in groups, even on Dantooine she had remained alone, not ostracized but separate. She did not feel that way here. She said it was warming to feel welcome and needed and found it reassuring that I could be decisive when needed. I thanked her and told her we were all in this together and she said yes, that was her point though she was finding it difficult to explain. I finally realized what she was saying and nodded my understanding.  
  
I had a chance to talk with Carth away from everyone else and finally found out why he wanted to kill Saul. After he told me of how his wife died in his arms, how he had lost his son and didn't know if he was alive or dead, I was ready to kill Saul for him. He said that he knew that killing Saul wouldn't bring them back or make him happy but it was something he felt he had to do. I nodded my understanding to him and thanked him for trusting me enough to tell me.  
  
I caught up with Bastila alone in our quarters and decided to ask her a question that had been bothering me for awhile. Given the bounty placed on her head I didn't see why the Council didn't take this chance to send a senior Jedi with us. I mean, it was difficult to see how much more obvious we could get, senior Jedi or no. Even though a senior Jedi would probably immediately squash my occasional romantic overtures, I would feel better if Bastila had someone she could talk to since she wasn't going to admit any weakness to Juhari or I.  
  
I asked "Why did the Council send me with you on this mission?" Bastila looked at me confused and said "Why? I could not accomplish this on my own; I need the aid of others - especially one who is strong in the force. The bond between us made you a natural choice. Besides, the events on Taris proved that the Force wanted to bring us together for the mission, and there is little left to chance when the Force is involved. Is that not enough for you?" I thought moodily that the bond between us certainly felt like it left me little choice, Bastila was like an obsession for me, an addictive one, one that I could not ignore no matter how much my rational self told me to let it wait till after the mission was over.  
  
I looked over at her and said "If the Force wants us to be together, why do you keep resisting my undeniable charms?" And I grinned as roguishly as I could manage and waited to see what she would do. Bastila shook her head at me and said in an aggrieved tone "I said we were brought together for our mission: to stop Malak. I hardly think the Force would be pushing us towards a romantic involvement when the fate of the galaxy is at stake! Please try to stay focused. I doubt the Council would approve if they knew we were busy discussing our mutual attraction when we should be saving the galaxy from Malak."  
  
I grinned at the last statement and said "Mutual attraction? I knew you were interested in me!" Bastila finally lost her calm and said "Mutual attraction? I never said...." she paused as she realized what she had said and then continued gamely "It's just an expression! Whatever our feelings... uh, I mean... whatever your feelings, you have to try and ignore them. Don't let this complicate things. Finding the missing pieces of the Star Map is our only hope of locating the Star Forge and defeating Malak. The Council explained all this quite clearly."  
  
I started pacing at this point and said "And thats it? That's enough reason for you to accept all this?" Bastila seemed distracted by my pacing and replied "I admit, there were times that I wondered if this were more than just a mission to stop Malak. There were times when I wondered if this was also a way for the Council to test my own abilities." I looked at her and said "I get the feeling that there's more going on than I know" and continued pacing.  
  
Bastila replied "I wondered if the Council wanted to see how I would help and guide you on our quest. I wondered if they were testing me to see if I was ready to become a Jedi Master myself. And then I realized how foolish such thoughts were. As the Council, explained sending a Master in our group would have drawn unwanted attention from the Sith. The fate of the galaxy is at stake, the Council would not risk it merely to test me. They calculated the risks and in the end chose the only option available." I looked at her and merely nodded not really accepting her explanation.  
  
Bastila said "You must learn to trust in the wisdom of the council. Your destiny will come in its appointed time. You mustn't be so impatient." I stopped and stared at her and said "Me? You're the one who thought this was her big audition for Masterhood!" Bastila stamped her foot and said "Must you be so frustrating? I admit, I had a moment of foolish pride. But I'm over it. Now I am focused on my true responsibilities. I am simply trying to help you and complete this mission, and yet you battle me at every turn."  
  
I paused and looked at her admiringly; she looked so beautiful with a slight flush to her face. Bastila flushed slightly more at my open regard and I said "What can I say? It's fun." She gaped at me and said in a raised voice "Fun?! Fun?! Driving me insane is your idea of a good time?" I thought to myself, the entire ship must have heard that one, and said to her with a smirk "Careful. Remember your self-control." She stared at me as if I had grown a second head then said in a more moderate tone "You.... you are a very odd woman, do you know that? I simply don't know how to deal with you. All I want to do is help you, but you seem determined to drive me mad."  
  
I paused and smiled at her warmly and said "Complain all you want, but I know you love it." I meant it too, these arguments between us diffused some of the sexual tension in the air, and it seemed to be something we both sought out to bleed off some of the intensity between us. Bastila glared at me, and then her face softened and she said "I don't know if I should be outraged that you keep joking about serious matters, of if I should be grateful that you can always lighten the mood." I said more seriously "I'm not so bad Bastila, but you just have to accept me for what I am."  
  
The look on her face was unreadable and I wondered why she had reacted to my simple statement so. She finally replied "It's isn't as easy as that. But your point is well taken." With that she turned away from me and I decided some space between us was probably a good idea. I got some curious stares from everyone as I went to the loading bay for a workout. Maybe I could exhaust myself enough to sleep.  
  
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Cait's last comment kept repeating in Bastila's head even after she left. Bastila had wondered if Cait was getting flashbacks of things other than the Star Maps or if it was just a general comment. She searched Cait's eyes for clues and decided that Cait thought the tight shield Bastila kept on her thoughts was because she didn't fully accept Cait. That wasn't it of course but she could hardly tell Cait the truth, the Council had forbidden it. They were to find the Star Maps and return to Dantooine, the Council would decide what to do about Revan afterward.  
  
It was starting to really bother her that she had to keep lying to Cait. Even though the reason was a good one she wondered how Cait would take the truth if it ever came out. She knew enough about Cait to know that she would take her real past very hard. Cait was passionate about everything, doing the right thing, being an honorable person and of course the bond between them. Would Cait blame her for not letting her know sooner? Would she blame the Jedi? Would she still care for her if she knew the truth about their past, of Bastila's rejection of her and the part it had played in Revan's fall.  
  
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Bastila and I discussed our shared vision of the Star Map when we landed on Kashyyyk. It looked like the Star Map was on the forest floor, where only the bravest of the Wookiees would venture; it was unlikely they were even aware of its existence. We were greeted by a Czerka representative at the landing dock to collect the landing dock fee, we then moved further into the Czerka compound.  
  
Zaalbar stopped me and told me that he should have prepared me for Kashyyyk. He went on to say that he had been exiled by his father for attacking his brother and to his shame he had been so angry at his brother for working with slavers that he had used his claws in the fight. He had lost his honor in the eyes of his people and was known as a madclaw, his word was not to be trusted. I nodded to him and told him that we would deal with that situation if we had to.  
  
We continued down the walkway and my attention was drawn for some reason to two men standing around a display booth. I wasn't certain what drew my attention to them but I stopped to chat and find out more about them. The owner of the small shop was one Eli Gand, the second man was an indebted employee Matton Dasol. I inquired as to the cause of this indebt ness and I noticed that Eli seemed to be lying about quite a few things as he commiserated with his employee about how sad it was that he had lent him money and his crew had disappeared with it while Matton had been repairing one of Eli's ships. I asked if I could settle Matton's debt but Eli refused saying that he valued Matton's skill as a mechanic more than the debt. I looked at him and knew there was something dark he was hiding, but there was nothing I could do about it at this moment. I nodded and thanked them and moved on, vowing to keep my senses open for more clues as to what was going on there. I traded glances with Bastila and she nodded to me, she had sensed deception in Eli as well.  
  
We left the Czerka controlled area, and proceeded down the Great Walkway toward the Wookiee village. We came upon a group of Czerka employees arguing around the body of a dead Wookiee a few meters down the walkway. The group's leader introduced himself as Patrol Captain Dehno and asked what I wanted. I introduced myself and asked what happened. The man said that the Wookiee slave had gotten rebellious and had to be put down. Zaalbar almost lost his temper at hearing that, I asked him to let me handle the situation. He complied and said that he would for my sake.  
  
I asked the captain if their superiors approved of them killing Wookiees? The captain was suspicious and said no of course not, what was this a snap inspection? He repeated that he was standing by his patrol; the Wookiee had been rebellious and had to be killed. I told him that I would not permit him to enslave or kill another Wookiee. I could sense Bastila staring at me but she did not say anything just got in a position for a fight. The captain asked me who I was to say that and I looked him in the eye and said "This posting is trouble, friend. Get out while you can." He stared at me nervously and said that I made sense; perhaps it was time for him and his men to request a transfer off the planet. The edged around us and headed back at a quick pace, the captain repeating to his men that they were going to request a transfer and not to argue with him.  
  
Bastila said "How do you do that? You don't use the force to persuade them, I would sense it." I turned to her with a grin and said "I just tell the truth in such a way that they accept it, I don't know how I choose the words they just come to me." Bastila looked at me and then shook her head, and said "Maybe you are using the force after all, to know what to say so that the person will accept it." I though about that and nodded, I might have been unconsciously using my force senses to tell what I needed to say to get the desired outcome.  
  
After that it was rather a nice walk thought along the path, I paused often to admire the view. The occasional mykal and kinrath kept it from being an entirely peaceful experience but they didn't stop me from enjoying myself. A Wookiee guard stopped us from proceeding deeper into the forest and said that only Chuundar could decide if we would be permitted to enter the Shadowlands. Reluctantly, we headed toward the village.  
  
We encountered three dark Jedi on the way there that had hopes of collecting a certain bounty but they were no match for us. I checked the bodies afterward and collected a few lightsaber crystals that I pocketed for later inspection. We proceeded to the gate of the village where the sight of Zaalbar provoked a strong reaction from the guard. I felt bad for Zaalbar but there was little I could do but stand with him and offer my support. We were finally escorted to Zaalbar's brother Chuundar who had taken over the Chieftains position; I wondered to myself what had happened to Zaalbar's father.  
  
Chuundar seemed very sure of himself and sure that the Wookiees would never believe that he was working with the slavers; he said to us "They trust me, the mighty Chuundar. Even with my brother insane and father enslaved, I rose to protect my people despite it all." I shook my head and asked him what he wanted. Chuundar said that he merely wanted a chance to talk to his brother while the rest of us went and did a task for him. If I wanted Zaalbar back I would have to seek out a mad Wookiee that was attacking the Czerka in the Shadowlands and kill him. Zaalbar said that his father would oppose his brother and Chuundar replied that his father had attacked the slavers alone when he discovered the truth and hadn't been seen since. Freyyr was gone he said, and he ruled now. Chuundar said that he would lead the Wookiees forward but there was a price that had to be paid. I counseled Zaalbar not to listen to him and this angered Chuundar who had us quickly escorted out of his hall.  
  
We left the village and went back out upon the Great Walkway, following it around as Chuundar had directed to meet the guide he had arranged for us. I had called the Ebon Hawk as we left the village and Canderous came out to meet Bastila and I for the journey into the Shadowlands. Along the path we saw three Wookiees fighting a large number of kinraths and went to assist them.  
  
Chorrawl, the leader of the hunting group, was not pleased with our assistance though and told me that he wouldn't allow me to take him as a slave. I finally managed to persuade him that I had no such intention and found out from him the lies Chuundar was using to control his people. He had told them that he had bargained with the Czerka to have the number of slaves taken reduced but if any of the Czerka were killed the number increased again. He also mentioned something called Bacca's blade with which a blood relative of Chuundar might be able to challenge him for chieftainship.  
  
We finally arrived at the basket the Wookiees used to descend into the Shadowlands and meet our guide Gorwooken. I managed to persuade Gorwooken to tell me about what others had recently journeyed into the Shadowlands. He told me of Rorworr who had gone down several days ago and had not returned. Gorwooken said that many hunters had not returned recently and that Chuundar believed that one of their own was down below mad, crazed and killing all. I thanked him and he told us to be still while we descended or we would attract unwelcome attention. It took almost an hour to descend all the way to the forest floor, I knew it was a long way down but I had really had no concept how far until that long journey. We finally reached the forest floor and I thanked Gorwooken and we carefully began to explore.  
  
We had not gone far when we were attacked by a group of katarn, afterwards we proceeded very cautiously keeping our ears open for further attacks. In the distance we heard a battle and quickened our pace, we arrived in time to see the end of the fight. A lone older man fought a group of katarn, several of them already dead, he wielded a green lightsaber and as we came up he finished off the last of his attackers. I was respectful of the skill with which he wielded his lightsaber and politely asked his name waiting to see if he would be a friend or foe. My instincts said friend and he was not using the distinctive red lightsaber that those of the darkside preferred. I extended my force senses slightly and was surprised to see that he was neither of the light or the dark but balanced between the two and he seemed at peace there. I also had the immediate sense that I would like this old man, for some reason he reminded me of one of my Covert Ops instructors.  
  
He introduced himself as Jolee Bindo and invited us to his home; I asked if he was a Jedi and he grumped at me, telling me not to fawn over him he was too old for it. I had to repress a chuckle, but Bastila looked a bit scandalized. He told us to keep close as he set out saying something about having fought the Sith and now he lived in a home under a log like some rodent. His home was under a log I saw as we came up to it, one very huge log, and his house was not that small. He invited us to pull up a stump and be comfortable; we had a few things to discuss. I asked him about the situation with the Wookiees and Chuundar. Jolee said "Czerka Corporation was smart to put him in power. He's as good at destroying Wookiee culture as dropping a corpse full of Ardroxian Flu," he looked at me and said "Will you work for him or against him, I wonder? I will be interested to see."  
  
I cocked my head to the side and said to him amused "You don't have a recommendation?" He grumbled at me "Uh, sure, how's this: think for yourself. I don't care for politics, and I'm big on letting people figure things out for themselves." I laughed at this, it certainly made a change from most of the Jedi I had meet. I then asked him if he had seen any crazed Wookiee in the Shadowlands and he said that he had helped one maddened with grief into the lower forests but he had not been crazed. I asked him when he had fought the Sith and he glared at me and commented that my ears were annoyingly good. He said those days were gone, and to leave them alone. He said he had seen his share of the dark and the light and both extremes annoyed him. Bastila choose that moment to comment that she could see no taint of the dark side within him and that she thought he was a servant of the light no matter what he claimed.  
  
He looked at her directly and told her he saw more grey these days than dark or light. For some reason she seemed unable to hold his gaze for too long and dropped her eyes. I was puzzled and asked him if he had seen any ancient star map in the Shadowlands. He looked at me and said "I knew that had to be why you were here. The problems of a few Wookiees don't amount to anything before the concerns of the Jedi. No, you are here for the map."  
  
I frowned at this and told him maybe I had come originally for the map but more now concerned me about Kashyyyk than just finding the star map. He stared at me for a bit then said "Kashyyyk is an interesting place, more so than anyone suspects. If Czerka Corporation knew, heh, the planet would be a strip mine. The Wookiee's have their legends that they were not always here, but it is more than that. The trees themselves are strangers." I stared at him wondering if he was telling me this was one of the Builders terraformed planets and I asked him to be more specific.  
  
He changed the subject and told us there were walls in our way, and we wouldn't find what we needed without his help. I nodded and waited for him to continue. He asked us to complete a task for him before he helped us. I asked him with a grin "Why should I trust you, you crazy old coot?" He snapped back "Oh, save it. I know this sounds absurd, but I'm old and entitled to work you around a bit. Besides the test is simple." He then told us of a group of Czerka that had set up camp and were slaughtering the wildlife and threatening entire species. They were irritating him and he wanted us to remove them for him.  
  
I looked at him and said "I see. So the aged semi-Jedi wants me to get some kids off his lawn." Bastila was glaring at me for what she saw as my disrespectful behavior but Jolee was amused and quipped back "Yes, yes, I'm an old man that's getting fussy. Call me foolish if you will, I don't care. You still have to do it." At the last I chuckled and nodded to him. I think Bastila finally caught on that we were actually getting along quite well in our own way and stopped glaring at me, I could tell she was confused as to why we were playing the game we were. Jolee shooed us off to do our errand, reminding me that if he had wanted them dead he could have done that, I was to find a better way.  
  
When we got out of earshot Bastila asked me what I had been doing, I admitted that Jolee reminded me strongly of one of my old instructors. He had been past age to retire but he had gotten a special extension due to his ability to impart his wisdom to his students. He also preferred that we learn things by doing and finding the answers for ourselves. I thought to myself, but didn't say aloud that he thought no one could learn anything by merely being lectured on what they should do. You had to actually go out on the field and find out the hard way why you did things certain ways. He wouldn't let us get badly hurt but he thought a few bruises and cuts were a small price to pay on the training field if we learned something that would keep us alive on the battlefield.  
  
We all grew to love that old man, and we constantly insulted him and he insulted us back but through it all we looked up to him and trusted him with our lives. Jolee from what I could tell in the short while was very like him, and I hoped that he would decide to come along with us for more than just Kashyyyk. I shared some of this with her as we walked and she nodded thoughtfully when I told her about my old instructor and how much I respected him, and I know she realized through the bond that I felt a lot of affection for him and had looked on him as a father figure. She asked me if he was still teaching and I replied "Oh, yes he's busy terrorizing a new group of students probably at this moment" and grinned at her, she shook her head but smiled back at me and we continued exploring.  
  
On the way we stumbled across a broken droid, the only functioning thing working on the droid was a playback of the last few moments of the droids existence. I played for everyone and Bastila and I found it very enlightening. It was a recording of Matton's crew and of their murder by Eli. As I removed the droids head a surge of feedback destroyed the remainder of the droids circuitry. But the memory of the droid in the machines head remained intact. I carefully placed it in my pack and we continued on. We stumbled over the corpse of a Wookiee and I examined the remains. I found a distinctive bowcaster bolt casting near the body that I pocketed, I also picked up the dead wookiees bowcaster and a datapad. Reading the datapad I realized that the body was that of Rorworr and that he had been dealing with slavers. Undoubtedly some other Wookiee had found out and had killed him because of it. I got back out the bowcaster bolt and realized it did not belong to Rorworr's bowcaster, which left the likelihood that it belonged to whomever had killed him. I thoughtfully pocketed all the pieces of evidence and we continued looking for the Czerka employees.  
  
It wasn't long before we came across them and I realized they were slaughtering the tach's wholesale to get large supply of their glands for use in stimulants. I asked their commander if he even cared that he was wiping out and entire species and he said no, he would be wealthy by then so what would it matter. I shook my head at this and decided there was no way to get him to leave voluntarily and politely took my leave of him. I decided to question some of his guards instead to see if I could get an idea for how to get them to leave without any bloodshed.  
  
I found out the guards really did not want to be down here. They were here to guard the emitters that were keeping the sonic barrier in place, if enough of them went down the camp would have to be abandoned. The guard quietly gave me the code to shut down the emitter behind him and proceeded to ignore me. I persuaded one more code out of another guard and managed to shut down a second emitter. We withdrew a shot distance from the camp and watched as the commander realized that the sonic field had failed when a large predator of some type wandered though the camp. The guards were in the lead on the way back to the basket leaving their commander in the rear with the beast chasing him though he looked like he would manage to outrun the beast. They disappeared from sight and I persuaded myself that I hoped that all of them would make it back ok. Reluctantly I went through the supplies that they had left behind and obtained some tach glands to give to Griff.  
  
We returned to Jolee's home and informed him that his task had been completed. He looked at us and said "I don't sense the smell of death on you. You spared them? Interesting." I stared at him puzzled and said "Enough. Have I passed your little test?" He looked at me and said that if I wanted to imagine a meaning behind the task then that was probably good but such a trivial thing was not a measure of a person. I replied that if he hadn't cared about the outcome why hadn't he done it himself. He glared at me and said that I was here and it needed doing, and besides the Czerka were dirty business and he hoped I had washed my hands.  
  
I laughed out loud at this comment and told him it was probably good advice. I asked if he would assist us in finding the Star Map now and he told us he would, there was a path east of where the Czerka camp was that lead to it but the way was blocked by a sonic barrier. He had watched as they put it in and knew how to take it down. I nodded to him and told him we would return in a few hours, we needed to take care of something up top. Bastila almost argued with me but I reminded her that the little tasks were part of being a Jedi, and there was an injustice that needed to be addressed. Jolee watched in interest but I ignored him and Bastila admitted that I was right.  
  
We went back to where Gorwooken was waiting and went back up to the Great Walkway. From there we headed back to the Czerka compound. We went to where the small sales booth was located and showed Eli and Matton the droid head, Matton recognized the droid head as belonging to the repair droid from his ship and asked Eli what it was doing in the forest. Eli was trying to say that we had merely found rubbish but Matton was ignoring him. I told Matton what I had heard in the recording and he turned to Eli and angrily said "I thought I owed you! You tricked them into the Shadowlands and killed them all while I fixed your freighter in orbit!" I decided to speak to Matton before he did something rash like killing Eli and managed to calm him down. Eli ran off and I observed that he wouldn't last long in the Shadowlands. Matton decided that he could persuade Eli's suppliers to deal with him and that he would take over the small shop till he got enough credits to leave. I wished him well and we headed back down the Great Walkway to the village. I wasn't sure who I should see but they should have someone official who would like to know what happened to Rorworr.  
  
I finally managed to get one of the Wookiees to give me directions to the Holder of the Laws. I politely thanked them and went to where the building was located and entered it. I asked him if he knew who the bolt casing I had found near Rorworr's body belonged to and he looked at it and said the family insignia on it indicated it belonged to Jaarak. He asked how I got it and I told him about finding Rorworr's body in the Shadowlands. He left to get Jaarak and returned with an older Wookiee who I assumed was Jaarak and a young Wookiee who I found out was the closest relative of Rorworr, Woorwill.  
  
I quickly realized that Jaarak was not going to speak in his own defense and would accept the penalty for killing Rorworr, which apparently was death. I could not let him do this so I told them that Rorworr had been dealing with slavers. Jaarak pleaded with me to be silent, that Rorworr had been a hero to them and they needed to believe in him. I shook my head and said that it was not right for him to let them believe in a lie, the truth might hurt right now but it was better than believing in a lie.  
  
I showed them the datapad that proved that Rorworr had been dealing with slavers. Jaarak said "I'm sorry Woorwill. I didn't want you to know. So much is against us... you need someone to look up to. I couldn't let him betray you... betray everyone. Outsiders are enough of a threat by themselves; we don't need traitors of our own." Worrroznor the Holder of the Laws said that I was the first outsider he was glad to know, that I had acted with honor and deserved my reward. I stared at him puzzled and asked what reward he was speaking of. He told me I was entitled to one third of Rorworr's possessions as the finder of the crime, I tried to decline but he wouldn't let me. I caught up with Jaarak and Woorwill and cautiously approached them to see if they were ok, they both thanked me for what I had done. Woorwill said I was like he had thought Rorworr was and I thanked him and wished them both well.  
  
I turned to my companions afterward and noticed that Bastila looked unwell; she was pale and seemed distracted. I asked her in concern if she was ill, and she admitted that she was not feeling that well and should probably return to the Ebon Hawk. I could sense very little through our bond; she was tightly shielding her emotions and thoughts. I could only get a vague sense of turmoil from her, but she was obviously did not want to discuss or admit that something was bothering her. I told her that we would go with her back to the Ebon Hawk and then Canderous and I would go back to Jolee's home. Jolee looked quite capable of dealing with the Shadowlands by himself, so the three of us together should be quite safe. As I watched her enter the Ebon Hawk I wondered what was bothering her, she had appeared to be quite well until the Jaarak trial. 


	16. Kashyyyk Questioning, a Star Map and a W...

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own.   
  
Kashyyyk – Questioning, a Star Map and a Wookiee Rebellion  
  
We returned down to the Shadowlands and went to Jolee's home. He asked where Bastila was and I told him that she had gotten ill and had decided to return to our ship. He nodded to us and joined the group and we proceeded to were he indicated the barrier was located. As we approached I could see the blue shimmer of the sonic barrier that prevented us from entering the lower Shadowlands. Jolee disabled the barrier and we crossed into the lower Shadowlands. As we walked down the path we heard the sounds of a battle and the sound of a Wookiee battle cry. I glanced at my companions and we broke into a run, as we rounded a bend in the path we saw a lone Wookie fighting with some Mandalorians.  
  
We rushed to the aid of the embattled and outnumbered Wookiee and assisted him with dispatching his attackers. I gave the Wookiee a med pak to heal his wounds as well as force healing him for he was close to death. He said his name was Grrrwahrr and that he and his companions had been attacked by stealthed ambushers. The Mandalorians had attacked like cowards waiting until the Wookiees were resting and did not have weapons to hand.  
  
Canderous said they were probably poachers and had been the first to flee when the fighting had went against his people. I promised Grrrwahrr that I would seek them out if I could find them. He advised that they would not attack unless they thought we were unarmed and I nodded to him.  
  
We secreted our weapons as best we could and continued on, shortly we came upon the bodies of three Wookiees and paused to examine them. I could tell that we had unseen guests with my force senses and I waited for the Mandalorians to unstealth themselves. As soon as they did we attacked them. The ferocity of our attack took the Mandalorians by surprise and we were able to kill our attackers without anyone being seriously hurt. We paused to heal and rest then continued onward. We came across another group of Mandalorians and had a slightly more difficult fight; I narrowly blocked a blow that would have decapitated Jolee when he was attacked briefly by all three Mandalorians. I was able to use my force powers to knock back the Mandalorians and the fight was easier afterwards. We found a signaling device on one of the Mandalorian bodies I pocketed it. We had gone only a short distance along the path when I spotted a group of swoop bikes back in a valley.  
  
We cautiously approached and I could sense that there was no one about. I inserted the signaling device and we waited for the Mandalorians to respond to it, which they did after a short wait. Canderous and the Mandalorian Commander exchanged words and then the fight began. I once again used the force to break up our attackers and knock them back and down, and we were able to engage them separately. I fought against the Mandalorian Commander and was able to easily parry all of his attacks, he over extended and I took the opening and pierced him through the neck where he was unarmored. I turned to assist the others but all of the Mandalorians had been killed. I stripped the Commander of his armor and insisted that Canderous wear it, I told him "Canderous I know you like Davik's armor but pink really isn't your color." Canderous growled at me but accepted the blue and silver armor.  
  
We proceeded back to where Grrrwahrr was resting and I presented the Wookiee with the damaged helmet of the Mandalorian Commander. Grrrwahrr thanked me for avenging his fellows and gave me the symbol of his hunting clan in thanks. I nodded to him and he proceeded back along the path to the upper Shadowlands. We returned to exploring the lower Shadowlands and finally in the distance saw the Wookiee that Jolee had spoken of, we approached him cautiously. The Wookiee would not listen to either I or Jolee and said only that all outsiders were enemies and attacked us. We were hindered by our desire not to kill the Wookiee and so it was a difficult fight, finally I managed to stun the Wookiee and he stopped fighting saying "I... I am beaten. Take my head, Czerka filth. You won't get another chance. So swears Freyyr of Kashyyyk." I blinked realizing this was Zaalbar's father and told him that I was not going to kill him and would he just listen for a moment. He said that I would only lie and I asked him if he knew Zaalbar and Chuundar. He asked why I would speak his son's names and I told him that I had come to Kashyyyk with Zaalbar, he asked if I was Zaalbar's owner and I told him that Zaalbar had swore a life- debt to me. He then told me of how he had not believed Zaalbar's claims and had exiled him but later had found out that Zaalbar had told the truth.  
  
Freyyr told me there was a way to challenge Chuundar, he could appeal to the traditions of his people if we could recover Bacca's blade from the Great Beast. The blade had been broken a generation ago when Rothrrrawr fought the Great Beast and had broken the blade off in its hide. Several years ago a Jedi had come seeking the beast and like many before him the Jedi had not returned. He told us that we should display the bodies of the viper kinrath's we had killed in the Ritual Glade to the south of here and wait for the Great Beast to come. If we were successful there was a chance he could challenge Chuundar.  
  
We had come across the Ritual Glade earlier and had been puzzled by the marker there, now we made our way back to it and hung the bodies of the kinraths from the vines in the glade and waited. It was not long before the Great Beast arrived; it matched the descriptions of the terentatek that I had been told of back on Dantooine. I knew that the beast would resist my force powers so I sprang to the attack determined to take it down. With the four of us fighting it, the beast did not last very long and I was able to recover Bacca's blade from the hide, within the body of the beast I found a journal and headband which I gingerly cleaned. I was amazed they had survived in the beast's stomach. The journal belonged to Gun Han Saresh and I wondered where his companions had been since he had fought the beast alone.  
  
Curious I paused to read the journal, it revealed that Duran and Shaela had loved one another and had admitted their feelings for one another. He spoke of them as being doomed to fall to the dark side and he had abandoned them on Korriban. The tone of the journal was one of arrogance and he spoke of how the two had dared to warn him that he was on the dark path and that he had left the fools. He had heard of a beast on Kashyyyk and had gone there to slay it and prove that he did not need either Duran or Shaela with him to defeat the terentatek. I shook my head and sighed, it certainly sounded from the tone of the journal that whether he had known it or not he had begun the path down the dark side when he abandoned his companions.  
  
We proceeded back to Freyyr and gave him the blade. Freyyr was energized by the finding of the blade and said that he should have challenged Chuundar long ago. I cautioned him to proceed carefully and he told me that he would climb to the surface and try to gather support. I told him we had one last task to perform in the lower Shadowlands before we could return to the surface and he said that he would wait for us before confronting Chuundar. With that he began to climb the great trees toward the surface.  
  
Jolee now took the lead and we followed him to where the Star Map was located. I could see it from the distance as we approached, unlike the other Star Maps there was some type of installation around this one and amazingly a hologram of some unknown species stood in front of the installation. I walked up and addressed the hologram, the terminal said something about initiating a neural scan and that there was a prelimary match. Jolee was surprised at this since it had apparently said negative match to him before. I proceeded to ask the hologram questions about the installation and found out that it was 30,000 years old, records of the builders of the installation had been corrupted and were unavailable. I asked what the purpose of the installation was and it replied that it was an agricultural reformation installation built to increase the production levels of the planet. The hologram theorized that the installation was the cause of the giant trees of Kashyyyyk and mentioned that the planet had most likely been bio-seeded to allow the ecology to remain balanced. I could get no answers about who had installed the hologram interface except for the fact that it had occurred five years ago, about the time Revan had been here I commented.  
  
I finally asked about the Star Map and the hologram said additional security access was needed, I needed to be made to match the parameters it had been supplied. It told me to answer its questions honestly and it would be able to determine whether I would be able to access the Star Map. I grimaced and then shrugged, there was no help but to play the computers game. It began by stating that both Zaalbar and I had been captured and if we remained silent we would each serve one year, if I said Zaalbar was a traitor he would serve five years while I served none. I told the computer that I would remain silent of course knowing that Zaalbar would remain silent as well. My reply seemed to puzzle the computer which told me that my loyalty was dangerous. I had a bad feeling about the way this was going but the computer had been clear that I could detect false answers.  
  
I told the computer to continue and the next question dealt with a war situation. I had obtained information from intercepting a transmission that would allow me a victory in ten days, in five days the enemy would attack one of my cities but if I responded the enemy would know that I had found out their battle plans. I told the computer that I would evacuate my city. Unsurprisingly the computer said that it was shutting down and defense mode was being initiated. From the depths of the installation two attack droids appeared. I sighed and went to attack them. The droids did not last long and I went back to the computer hoping there was some way to activate the Star Map despite the interface's shut down.  
  
To my surprise the interface was still active; it said that secondary scans during battle had revealed that its initial scan was incorrect and that I now meet the parameters to access the Star Map. It continued that it's had completed its primary duty and was finished with the subject. I tried to ask it what had changed during the battle but it said the information was not available, and that soon I would recognize the proper course to follow. I frowned at it and was about to retort, when the Star Map opened and the interface shut itself down.  
  
Jolee mused that maybe the Star Map being an artifact of the dark side had an influence on the evolution of the creatures in the Shadowlands which might explain why it was so dangerous. He then said that we needed to return to the treetops and meet up with Freyyr now that we had the information we had come for. As we approached the basket Gorwooken attacked us yelling about us betraying Chuundar. Reluctantly I attacked him and had to kill him as he would not surrender. I had watched as he had operated the basket earlier and I was able to operate it to return us to the treetops. Chorrawl was waiting for us above and told us that Freyyr had went to confront Chuundar and that we should follow him to the throne room.  
  
Freyyr, Chuundar and Zaalbar were all there and Chuundar dismissed the pieces of the sword as ancient trinkets, Zaalbar finally yelled at both of them to stop arguing. He asked me what I suggested they should do and though I didn't like Chuundar I though he should be given a chance to change. I advised Zaalbar to seek a compromise between the two sides so that the fighting among the Wookiee would end. Freyyr was willing to compromise with Chuundar but Chuundar was not willing to compromise with anyone and attacked Freyyr saying that he had Czerka support. The fight in the throne room was fierce but in the end we prevailed and Freyyr was once again the Chieftain. Freyyr apologized to Zaalbar for doubting him, and said that he had been blind. Zaalbar said that he forgave him, he had learned a lot over the years. Freyyr asked him to stay and I was willing to relieve Zaalbar of his life-debt but Zaalbar said that honoring that debt was more important to him now than ever before.  
  
I asked Freyyr what he was going to do about the slavers and he said that he had sent quick-climbers to the other villages and that they would fight the slavers and drive them off the planet. We would be the last outsiders that were welcome on Kashyyyk for a long time. Freyyr asked what he could give us as a reward for all that we had done, and Zaalbar requested that Bacca's sword be remade and that it be given to him for safe keeping until he returned to his home. I smiled at Zaalbar and agreed that that sounded like a fitting reward, Zaalbar would make a great Chieftain someday.  
  
We left for the Ebon Hawk and on our way to the landing pad assisted the Wookiees against the Czerka forces that were still opposing them. I hoped that Matton had been able to leave the planet before the fighting began. As we passed the area where he had been selling items I was relieved to see that the stall was gone and there was no sign of Matton among the bodies near the area. He must have sold his stock and managed to buy his way off planet.  
  
We decided to stay on Kashyyyk that night and get a few fresh supplies and take the opportunity for everyone to get a good nights rest. I stopped to talk to Canderous and he was willing to tell me about the start of the Mandalorian War, they had started by conquering worlds just outside of the Republic quietly so that the Republic would not notice. When they had finally attacked Republic worlds they did so trying to provoke the Republic into a counter attack. Canderous called the Republic defenders cowards saying that they hid among the civilians, and thought that the Mandalorians would not use appropriate force against bases inside major cities. I looked at him and told him they could have found another way besides wiping out entire cities to defeat Republic shield devices. He exclaimed that cowards deserved to be hunted down and exterminated. Then he calmed and said that there was no honor in wiping them out like they had, but that some of the Republic forces had redeemed themselves in the Mandalorian eyes after Reven had joined the war. Canderous said that Revan was a genius on the battlefield and was willing to make sacrifices to win victories. I looked at him but let it pass that Revan had made the wrong decisions. Canderous said that in the end Revan proved to be too much for them, Revan fought them to a standstill and then began pushing them back. Canderous said that it was what they had wanted all along a battle worth fighting.  
  
Canderous paused then said that the battle was supposed to be the most glorious battle in their history, but it was a costly one. There were not alot of them left after the last battle, Revan defeated Mandalore personally. The survivors were stripped of their armor and weapons and forced to watch as they were destroyed. Some of his people had taken to raiding worlds, and were nothing more than bandits now. Canderous had ended up on Taris as an enforcer for Davik, but it was not a worthy challenge. He said that now with me he thought he might find opponents worth fighting. I told him I was honored and I was, though I strongly disagreed with many of his ideas.  
  
I also had a chance to catch up with what Juhani had been up to while we were in the Shadowlands. She looked bothered by something and began the conversation by saying "I never told you where I came from, did I? Where I grew up as a child? I suppose I was trying to deny what I was feeling." I was puzzled and asked her what she meant. She grew agitated and said she needed someone to blame for the destruction of her homeworld, for the deaths of everyone she had known except those on Datooine. I was stunned and realized she must mean she had grown up on Taris. I tried to apologize to her but she continued that it was my and Bastila's fault that her homeworld had been destroyed, I tried to get a word in edgewise but she said "Just let me vent my anger, I need someone to blame anyone!"  
  
I nodded and let her continue, she said that she had an ache in her heart where all her childhood memories were and my face was there with them. She wound down and I apologized to her. She seemed to deflate and then said "I... I know... I suppose I realized that. But it is so hard to lose your entire past. You would not understand." She paused then realizing what she had said to me and dropped her eyes, I did know what it was like to lose my past. I told her that it would be alright, and she said that she supposed that it would, if we remained focused on our task.  
  
I left her to calm down and went to rest in my bunk for awhile, it was not to be though for Bastila tracked me down and hesitated. I said "You look like you have something to say" I said while lying down on my bunk. Bastila stood there and I finally sat up and she said "I do. I have been trying to come up with the best way to say this for some time, but I suppose I should just come out and say it." I looked at her curiously and she continued "The truth is, I have come to depend on you. Not just for the sake of the mission, but for my own sake as well. I am... I am glad you are with us." I blinked and then grinned and said "What was that? I think I'm going deaf. You better say it again." Bastila smiled back at me and said "Now you're teasing me. You know very well what I said." I put a hand to my heart and fell back in my bunk and said "I'm still reeling from the shock. Was that a compliment?" Bastila was starting to look a bit annoyed with me and said "Well, yes. Surely that is not so surprising." I stared at her and said "You're kidding, right?"  
  
Bastila smacked my thigh with her hand in annoyance and I laughed at her and she said "No, I'm not. Why must you make this so difficult for me? Can't you just accept a simple compliment?" I replied "Maybe I was distracted by the grudging manner in which it was given." Bastila looked me in the eye and said "I see. Is there nothing I can do to make it up to you? I would rather we were friends." I had to drop my gaze so as to not ruin the moment and got myself under control and glanced back at Bastila. She was blushing and looking elsewhere, damnable bond I thought betrays me every time. I replied mildly "I would like that I suppose."  
  
Bastila looked back at me and said "I know my manner can be a bit taciturn. I know you must be getting sick of my lectures about the dark side and... and everything else. I spent all my years being hounded by my instructors. Being told so often how gifted and important I was until I was sick of it. I remember when I was younger I used to swear that I would never become as self-absorbed and stodgy as the Jedi Masters. It's ironic, really" I smiled at her and said "Nonsense. You're not self-absorbed or stodgy." She shook her head and said "That's kind of you to say, but I know that it's not really true." I said to her softly "You don't have to be that way."  
  
She looked at me and said "Being controlled has kept everyone around me at an arm's length; even those like yourself who are most in need of my understanding and compassion. But maybe it's time to change that. You deserve to know how much I respect and admire you. I had to tell you how much I care for you." I looked at her searchingly and she quickly said "As a friend of course." I held her gaze a moment but accepted what she was offering for now and replied "I'm glad you did." Bastila said "Well, that was not nearly so difficult as I feared. Thank you for hearing me out. I feel... I feel much better."  
  
I showed the journal to Bastila and she said something about Duran and Shaela falling to the dark side, I looked at her and told her to re-read it again and look at the way Gunn had phrased his statements. She frowned at me but re-read it and from the crease in her forehead I could see that she was now seeing what I saw. She finished and looked at me and I said to her "I do not know if they fell but his tone indicates that they were correct in their warning to him. The bond was supposed to have been among the three of them, maybe the two of them acknowledging their feelings affected him somehow, making him more susceptible to the dark side on Korriban." I shrugged; there was no way of knowing exactly what had happened. Bastila nodded and returned the datapad to me, after that she left me to my rest.  
  
After a few hours I decided to get up and get something to eat. Carth was also eating and he looked morose and was pushing the food around on his plate. I asked him what the matter was and he confided that he had been trying to remember his wife's face, he could remember the way she smiled, and what her hair smelled like but not her face and he said it felt like he was loosing her. I told him he still remembered the important things but he shook his head stubbornly and said that he should be able to remember her face. He said the thing that had kept him going since her death had been the need to find Saul and kill him. He said that maybe if he could find and kill Saul that he could let her go. Carth wanted me to promise that I would let him kill Saul but I told him that things didn't work that way in a battle and he knew it. He reluctantly nodded and said "Whether it does or not, that's the way it has to be. I... guess there's no need to discuss it until then." We finished our meals in silence and I went to find Juhani to see if she had calmed down since her earlier outburst.  
  
She apologized for her earlier outburst and talked about how miserable her childhood had been on Taris, how her family had struggled to just survive. How the humans from the upper levels would occasionally visit with their droid escorts and laugh at them. She said that she had meet several decent humans though since Taris. I knew she was thinking of the Jedi she had meet on Taris and I encouraged her to continue. She said that I reminded her of the Jedi who encouraged her to join the Order, she saw something of her when she looked at me. She said that she sometimes cursed the day her parents fled to Taris but then again, if they had not, she would not be where she was today.  
  
I asked her about her parents and she told me of how her homeworld had been attacked by the Mandalorians, her people had a reputation as warriors, and that appealed to the Mandalorian version of honor. The Mandalorians had destroyed everything that moved; the few Cathar that survived packed themselves into the remaining ships and attempted to escape. A few of them had survived. Her parents had settled on Taris, and Juhani admitted that it was a terrible choice. Her father had turned to stimulants, and spent too much time in bars. One day he was provoked into a fight by a man who had killed him like an animal. I nodded to her when she said that she couldn't continue right now and gave her a hug and sat awhile with her until she looked calmer.  
  
We headed back to Tatooine before going to Manaan so that I could deliver the Tach glands to Griff. Mission had been fairly angry and had rambled about how maybe a few broken bones would do Griff some good, but she also didn't want him seriously hurt. I pointed out that no one could change Griff, he would have to decide to change himself. Mission and Jolee decided to come along with me once we reached Tatooine, and we headed out for the Czerka offices. Along the way an old man stopped us and asked us if we had seen a mechanic. Jolee look startled and then called him by the name Davin, Davin peered at Jolee then called him by his name. It was obvious the two knew each other and had known each other for a long time. Davin commented that Jolee looked much like he had the last time he saw him, said that Jolee pickled well. Mission and I chuckled at this and Jolee glared at us. Jolee said we really had to be off and Davin said that he supposed Jolee had heard about Sunry? Jolee shook his head and Davin informed him that Sunry was being held for murder on Manaan and that he could probably use Jolee's assistance about now. Jolee said that it was up to me and I told him we would look into it first thing, Manaan was our next destination.  
  
We delivered the tach glands to Griff and Mission asked that this be his last scheme. Griff said that he had turned over a new leaf and the ale would be a big investment for us, did I want to put in some cash? I steadfastly refused and he finally said that it was my loss and went off to brew the ale. We decided to wait around the few hours it would take for the attempt to see if it went well. While we were waiting on the Ebon Hawk I decided to ask Jolee about the friend we had meet and who was Sunry?  
  
Jolee said he hadn't been a hermit all his life, and even though he hadn't seen Sunry in twenty years he was still a friend. He couldn't see him as a murderer though he admitted people could change a lot in twenty years. He said that Sunry had put him up in his home for a year after Jolee had left the Order, and was a war hero he had heard. He said that he owed it to him to help him if it was possible, and I nodded to him. Since he seemed relatively talkative I decided to ask him why he had decided to come with us and leave Kashyyyk. He said that I had a fast little ship, he had forgotten what engines sounded like, the closest thing to that on Kashyyyk was an uller in mating season. I blinked at this description and he added Ugh! frightful. I could see that he was going to be difficult about this and I said "So you wanted a ride on my ship?" He said maybe it was the free food and what was that gunk that came out of the synthesizer anyway did I never have it cleaned. Since I knew darn well the synthesizer had been cleaned recently I ignored the comment, but I decided it might be a good idea to have it cleaned on Manaan. I said "No, seriously, tell me." He told me he was old and entitled to be enigmatic when he wanted to be.  
  
He also said that I reminded him of someone else he had known ages ago, pleasant fellow, great destiny, and breath like a bantha. I chuckled and decided what to say next since he was trying to bait me. I answered "Did you annoy this person endlessly, too?" He chuckled at the comeback and said it wasn't it fault I was impatient. But he did continue with his story the mans name had been Andor Vex, the Force had swirled around him like a hurricane. I decided on a noncommittal reply and asked "And you traveled with this man?" Jolee said that he had, and mentioned that just because someone has the Force swirling about them didn't mean that they had a great destiny but it was worth checking out. He continued and said that Andor believed a bit too much in the infallibility of that destiny and it turned into his downfall. I wondered if he was telling me to not to depend on the mysterious destiny that the Jedi Masters had talked about constantly.  
  
I had always been put off by their comments, all the great destiny talk had just sounded like pep talks to me. I had never needed pep talks, and the implication that I was somehow more essential to the mission than others had irritated me. The team was essential not any one of us, and I could die at any time. If that happened I fully expected the others to proceed with the mission and not declare defeat just because I had been killed. I was a team player not some glory seeking individualist. Team work had been drilled into us all during training and so had the contempt the instructors had for those of us who though of ourselves before the team, of course those people had been weeded out during training. Covert Ops had no room for the glory seeker, they got too many people killed seeking the fame they wanted.  
  
I realized that Jolee seemed to be waiting for me to say something and I asked "Is there supposed to be some hidden meaning in this?" He replied that he didn't know was I overconfident? He hadn't noticed and if he did he wouldn't comment on it. I grimaced at that, some help he was. Jolee continued that we were talking about Andor anyway not me and he had been a young lad with a full head of hair at the time and had thought Andor's destiny was pretty boring. He had been ready to leave Andor when they had been captured by Kraat a Dimean. Kraat had them hauled to the bridge of his ship for questioning and Andor, believing his destiny made him invulnerable told him he wasn't answering questions didn't he know who Andor was? I waited for Jolee to go on with the story, wondering how the arrogant idiot had gotten himself killed. Kraat had started choking Andor and then decided to toss him into a energy intake shaft. Jolee started chuckling and said that Andor had bounced around in the shaft screaming and had apparently hit something sensitive on the way down, because all the ship alarms started ringing.  
  
I said in disbelief "You're kidding..." Jolee continued describing how everyone had panicked at that point and he was able to make it to his ship and leave before Kraat's ship exploded. The Dimeans never recovered and it had changed the political course of the entire sector. He looked at me and said "I'd call that quite a destiny, wouldn't you?" There was really no other way to for me to reply, I looked at him with narrowed eyes, I was both amused and insulted and replied "I hate you, old man..." Jolee choked off a laugh and said "Well that's the ingratitude of youth for you. I relate an exciting tale and do I get thanked for it? No, no." I had to finally laugh at that and he rambled on for a bit more and finally said maybe we should go check up on young Griff.  
  
We went back to the Czerka office, Griff wasn't there so I asked the store owner if he was still brewing the ale. The store owner told us that Griff had left a message for us, he had made a mistake in brewing the ale and had decided to leave Tatooine before the Exchange realized he had failed. He had hopped aboard the last shuttle off Tatooine and the storeowner had no idea where he was headed. Small loss the storeowner commented, Griff had been one of his worst employees and he thought he might have been stealing from him.  
  
Mission said "Damn it, Griff - won't you ever learn? How can my own flesh and blood be so stupid!" At this the store keeper said he had one last message. Griff had said to tell his sister goodbye and he was sorry. As we were headed back to the ship Mission pause to thank me for all my help with her brother. She said that it didn't appear anything had changed because of it but at least she knew we tried to help him. I commented that he could still change and Mission nodded saying she knew people could change no matter how bad they were, but she wasn't holding her breath where her brother was concerned. She was thankful to him for looking after her when she was a young kid but she had no more illusions about her brother and she didn't feel that she owed him anything anymore. I told her that was a very mature attitude for her to have and she said that she had made her peace with who Griff was and what he meant to her, if he showed up again she would deal with him then but she wasn't going to dwell on him anymore it was time for her to move on.  
  
I nodded and put a companionable arm over her shoulders and we entered the ship, I was quite proud of her and how she had dealt with her issues with her brother.  
  
That night I pulled out my mandovil and took requests for a few hours, I had done this infrequently before and after seeing how everyone apparently enjoyed the evening I resolved to take the time to play more. Everyone's spirits seemed to rise after one of these impromptu concerts, and besides if when we could get Bastila to sing she had a very nice singing voice. Jolee surprisingly turned out to have a nice tenor range even though he grumbled about how he sounded. I played some of the tunes I had been working on, everyone commented after I was done that they were beautiful works. I hadn't really looked at anyone while playing them but I finally glanced toward Bastila and was surprised to see what I thought was a wistful look on her face that quickly disappeared as she realized I was looking at her. I wondered if she had picked up through our bond that they were songs I had composed for her. 


	17. Manann A Murder Trial

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own.   
  
Manaan - A Murder Trial  
  
Our next destination was Manaan, I still had no idea how I was supposed to get us in and out of Korriban without being detected by Dark Jedi. I hoped some source of inspiration would strike me and the answer become clear. But in the meantime there was one more planet we could visit before Korriban.  
  
The ocean planet of Manaan source of the kolto used in medical paks that had saved our lives several times. Once again Bastila and I shared a vision of the location of the Star Map, as before on Tatooine, the vision was not that helpful. It appeared that the Map was located somewhere on the ocean floor, but this planet was all oceans. I hoped that the force would guide us in the right direction as it had on Tatooine.  
  
Bastila was still glancing at me after our discussion of the vision and I asked "You are curious about something?" She dropped her eyes then raised them and said "Am I so transparent? I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, considering our bond. Yes, there is something I would like to ask, if you'll permit it." I nodded and waited for her to continue.  
  
Bastila said "In our time together I've been watching you. You are a true servant of the light, you follow the tenets of the Jedi Order despite the lure of the dark side, and with so little training. For me it has always been a constant battle. Don't you find it difficult at all? You make it seem so easy, or is that only an illusion?"  
  
I frowned thinking and slowly replied "Honestly, sometimes I don't think much about what I'm doing before I do it. In other cases I search my heart for what to do and the right thing makes itself known. In some cases it's a struggle not to give into anger or even my own twisted sense of humor."  
  
Bastila frowned at me and I could see she was confused by the last thing I said. I said to her "Remember back on Tatooine, the man trapped by the droids?" She grimaced and nodded. I said "Before you and HK jumped in I almost told the man that I thought it was a good place to set up an ice water stand." Bastila gasped and then started laughing, "That would have been cruel" she gasped out between chuckles. "I wouldn't have of course, but it was on the tip of my tongue" I told her.  
  
Bastila shook her head at me and controlled herself and said "In a way it's a relief to hear. I have never found the Jedi path and easy one to walk, and it's good to know that I'm not alone. I wish though that I had more moments like you do when the right path is clear to me. I've always struggled over my passions. I've always been too quick to anger, too quick to get involved. My instructors constantly berated me for it."  
  
I chuckled and said "Well I can't say anything about getting involved, you have complained to me several times about my habit of going off and helping anyone who looked like they might possibly need it." She nodded and said "How did you know to talk to Eli and Matton anyway? I could tell Eli was lying when he spoke but I would have never gone over to talk to them." I frowned at her and said "You didn't feel something pulling your attention toward them?" She shook her head and frowned at me "Pulling my attention? No, nothing."  
  
I said "How odd, that's how I usually get involved in other peoples difficulties, something about them draws my attention and when follow my feelings I find out there is some way I can help them." I paused thinking and then said "Now that I think of it, its similar to how I feel when I know what the right thing is to say in situations where I need to persuade people to listen." Bastila said "I do not understand what it is that you sense, maybe when this is over one of the Masters can answer your questions."  
  
I nodded and said, "I think interrupted you, you had something else you wanted to say?" Bastila nodded and said "I've often dreamed that I might be able to confront Darth Malak myself. I dream I can use all this power I have to kill him and stop all the death and destruction. I just think of all the evil that the Sith have caused and I... I get so furious. Yet we are told that these feelings are the path to the dark side."  
  
I could feel her emotions as she said this and I was very worried, such thoughts had been the downfall of many people. I said "It sounds like you have your own demons to face." Bastila looked at me thoughtfully and said "I suppose I do. Part of the thinks that it would be worth anything to vanquish evil, even if it meant giving into my base emotions. The very thought that I could become as evil as Malak; I just can't fathom it. It just doesn't seem possible. How could I..." she paused and caught my obvious concern and said "no, wait. I'm sorry. I shouldn't even be asking you this. The Jedi teachings are clear; who am I to question them? And even worse, who am I to try and make you question them?" I was confused since I hadn't taken anything she said as an attempt to make me question the Jedi teachings and said "What?"  
  
Bastila was agitated now and said "These are dangerous thoughts, the indulgence of a vain mind. Please, forget I ever mentioned this." With that she quickly turned and left me, leaving me very concerned and worried for her.  
  
I was worried about Bastila but I got the clear sense through the bond that she needed some time to think. We had landed on Manaan and I went and got Jolee and Carth to accompany me so that we could find out about Jolee's friend Sunry.  
  
As we exited the landing bay we saw a Republic soldier and Sith soldier, the Sith soldier was insulting the Republic soldier and taunting him. When the Republic soldier finally threatened to hit him the Sith taunted him about the Selkath cameras and how he would like for him to make the first move. The Sith soldier finally left and the Republic soldier noticed us and snapped "Yea, what do you..?" Then he noticed my Jedi robes and started apologizing. I told him it was alright but he said that he should try and keep his calm like the Jedi. I smiled at him and asked him what the Sith had meant and he told me that they constantly taunted Republic citizens trying to get them to break Selkath law. If the Republic citizens responded they could get kolto export restrictions placed on the Republic and that might cause the Republic to lose the war. I nodded to him and thanked him for the information and he told us where the Republic Embassy was located.  
  
We moved off in the direction that he indicated when a man paused and said "Carth, Carth Onasi is that you?" Carth said "Jordo?" They began talking about Telos and how they had both joined the militia together. The conversation got awkward as they talked about Telos and Jordo gave Carth his condolences on the death of his wife, and then said "At least your boy made it through alright." Carth looked at him and said "My... boy? You mean... Dustil?" Jordo looked at him and nodded and said that he had seen him on Korriban, that he was at the Sith Academy there. Carth was shocked and Jordo said hesitantly "Hope everything works out with Dustil." And then walked away saying he must get back to work.  
  
Carth said to me "Dustil... Dustil is alive! We have to go to the Korriban academy and find him!" I nodded and told Carth that we would try and find him while we were on Korriban. Carth thanked me and said "I... I just have to see him. I have to know what happened to him." I nodded in understanding and waited for Carth to get himself back under control before we proceeded to the Selkath Port Official to pay the docking fee.  
  
We walked into Ahto and I wandered toward the edge of the city where there was a wonderous ocean view. It was oddly peaceful watching the rippling waves for a few moments and I allowed myself a few minutes to enjoy it. I turned to Jolee and decided to remind him that he had never actually told me why he decided to come with us. He agreed that he hadn't and continued watching the water. I smirked and asked him if he was always going to be this elusive. He mentioned that he wasn't elusive, Twi'lek dancing girls after drinking too much Ondaran willek juice were elusive. I had to chuckle at that and he said that it had been time for him to move on from Kashyyyk. I asked him "Move on to where?" He quipped back "To bed. I'm old and tired, you know." I shook my head and said "No, really." Jolee asked me how many kilometer high trees can you find interesting after while and then there were all the critters. No he said he was happy to be back in space doing something new.  
  
Then Jolee said something about my destiny again and how he couldn't help but be intrigued. I asked him what interest he had in my future. He said that he didn't have a vested interest, more of an idle curiosity. Jolee said "Your destiny is... rather unclear. In fact, everything about you that I can see is odd. Slightly off, as if my eyes were trying to trick me. Something.... something is very dark about you..." I stared at him startled wondering what he could mean, as far as I knew I hadn't knowingly done anything dark in my life. At least in the life that I could remember, I wondered suddenly chilled if there were something dark in the past that I did not remember.  
  
Jolee said breaking my thoughts "I wouldn't worry about it too much if I were you. You remind me a bit of Nomi, heh heh, and that can't be all bad." I was distracted from my thoughts and said "Nomi? Whose Nomi?" Jolee said "Nomi Sunrider. She came late to the Force, just as you have, and became one of the greatest Jedi ever. Oh, fine, fine lass. Whether you'll follow the same path remains to be seen. For one thing, we'll never get anywhere if you stand around chatting up old men all day..."  
  
I took the hint and we continued our search for the Republic Embassy. We found Elora, Sunry's wife first. She had heard from the Selkath that we were on Manaan and had come looking for us. She begged us to go to the Selkath courts and talk to the Judges. Maybe they would listen to us she said.  
  
We went to the court and inquired about the Sunry murder trial and were told that in Manaan legal tradition the defendant could have an Arbiter whose duty was to prove their innocence in court. I agreed be Sunry's Arbiter and the Selkath Judge filled me in on the details of the case. Sunry had been seen leaving the room of Elassa Huros, who was found dead shortly afterward. Witnesses were being detained at the hotel. Elassa had died of a blaster wound and a Republic medal of Sunry's had been found clutched in her hand. No other evidence had been found at the scene to indicate the identity of the guilty party.  
  
I was told that when I felt I had gathered enough evidence, I was to speak to the warden in charge of the prison where Sunry was being held and the trial would commence.  
  
I decided to interview the witnesses first and we proceeded to the hotel. After questioning the hotel manager Ignus I knew that Sunry and Elassa had regular meetings at the hotel, at least once every week or so. The manager thought they were having and affair, and was pretty certain that Sunry had left her hotel room after the blaster shot, but he admitted the that it was barely possible that Sunry had left just right before the shot. But he was not willing to testify to that. I thanked him and went to interview the two other witnesses.  
  
Firith Me, a Pazaak player, told me that he had heard the blaster shot and remained in his room for a minute then looked to see what was going on. He saw Sunry running and Gluupor in the hall by Elassa's room. He verified that Elassa and Sunry had met frequently in the hotel and had kept people up with their 'antics'. Then he made and interesting statement "There isn't any rule against Sith and Republics seeing each other for personal reasons. Although if you think her Sith Master didn't know, heh, you must be fooling yourself." He got nervous then and tried to tell me that all Sith had Masters but I was able to flatter him into telling me what he had seen to make him say that. He had brushed up against the woman one night and had seen a lightsaber under her cloak. Hmm, I thought to myself, this case was getting more interesting by the moment, a Dark Jedi and a Repubic War hero. She had probably been getting information from him and trying to turn him to the dark side to serve the Sith.  
  
I went to see Gluppor next, he admitted he did not see Sunry actually murder the Sith woman but he saw him running away. Caught by his second reference to the Sith woman's room I asked him more, he said that he had no reason to go in the room no one paid for him to go in the room. I realized he wasn't that bright and asked him if someone had paid him to do something in the room. He was astonished and asked how I had known, a Sith man had come up to him and paid him to plant Sunry's medal at the scene.  
  
I decided it was time to go and confront Sunry with what I had learned so far and see what he had to say about his relationship with Elassa. The Selkath prison guard let us into see Sunry and I asked him if he and Elassa had been having an affair. He finally admitted that they had but passionately said that he hadn't killed her, he had loved her. I stared at him realizing though the Force that he was both lying and telling the truth. But to what? He continued saying that he had went there with the intention of breaking off the affair, that he had made a terrible mistake getting involved with Elassa. All of this was truth I could sense.  
  
Sunry continued trying to convince me that he had found out later that she was dead, but he didn't deserve to go to jail for just having an affair. I could sense with a sinking heart that most of this was a lie, somehow Sunry had killed the woman. I reached out with my force senses toward Sunry and encountered rolling dark emotions of anger and betrayal, and also guilt. Also present were lighter emotions of love toward both of the women in his life. What had the Sith woman done to him, I got the strong sense that he didn't realize she had been a Dark Jedi.  
  
I spoke again to Elora and she told me that Sunry and Elassa hadn't been very discrete about their affair, Sunry had recently confessed of it to her and had promised that he would stop seeing the woman and had went to break off the affair.  
  
I was puzzled as to how to continue and I thought back to the odd man that we had meet outside the hotel that had told us the Sunry and Elassa were proxies for their governments, that both the Sith and Republic were at fault in this matter. He had implied that if I wanted the truth I would have to find it out somehow from the respective governments.  
  
I decided my next stop would be the Republic Embassy. The Republic embassy head Roland Wann skated around the subject when I asked if the Republic knew anything more about the murder case and I knew that he was hiding something. I dropped the subject and decided to ask if he had seen or heard anything about an ancient Star Map on Manaan. I could tell that he had information about what I was seeking but he insisted that I must help him with a task before he told me what he knew. They had been using an underwater reconnaissance droid to explore the oceans around the city when it was attacked by firixan sharks and damaged. The Sith had managed to get to the damaged droid before the Republic and he wanted me to infiltrate the Sith base and retrieve the droids data recorder before the Sith had time to decode it. I agreed to undertake retrieving it and asked if he had any ideas as to how we could get into the base.  
  
There were three possibilities, interrogating a prisoner to get the passcodes, they also had blank Sith data cards that they were trying to decrypt. I might be able to break the code if I was skilled enough though and use one of those to gain access. The last choice was to use a passcard the Sith spy had on him to access a Sith hangar. The hanger housed a speeder there that was used to access an external entrance into the Sith enclave. It was likely to be heavily guarded but it was also the most direct route.  
  
I indicated to him that I would like to try my hand at decoding the passcards and he gave me access to their computer room. I felt guilty that I was using this as an excuse to look for evidence for the murder trial but I knew that the Republic had more information than it was revealing to me.  
  
It didn't take me long to find the data I was looking for, apparently the Republic had a camera in the hotel and had recorded the murder. Sunry had indeed shot Elassa in the back as I had suspected. But the tape left alot of unanswered questions, indeed it left me with more questions that needed to be answered. Did the Republic record all of the hotel rooms or was Sunry assisting the Republic with spy efforts and trying to get information out of Elassa?  
  
I decided to let the matter drop for now and concentrated on decrypting the pass cards. As the technician in the room had said the sequence was complicated but with the assistance of my implant I was able to decrypt it.  
  
I decided that my next step in the investigation was to go back to Sunry and confront him with the evidence I had found to see if I could clear up some of the new questions that had arisen. I told Sunry that we had the data recording and asked him to explain what had happened. Sunry slumped and said "So the truth is out. I never meant to kill her, you know. When I found out she was a Sith spy using me to gain information, something inside me just snapped. She didn't know I had found out, so I waited until she fell asleep and then I... I killed her. Simple, really. But once I realized what I'd done I ... I panicked. I contacted those spies from the Republic to help me. They found the illegal monitoring device that the Sith had planted in the room, altered its recording to hide my part in it and cleared up the evidence. I figured that was the end of it."  
  
Sunry asked me what I was going to do and I told him the truth that I hadn't decided yet. He pleaded with me to keep his secret afraid of what the Selkath would do if they knew the truth, afraid that they would cut off the Republic's kolto export privileges. My mind was on other matters though and I waited for him to wind down before I asked him if he had known that Elassa was a Dark Jedi.  
  
I could tell that he was stunned and he admitted that he hadn't known, he had just known that she was a Sith spy. I asked him how he had found out and he admitted that the Republic had let him know once they realized what was happening. I had strong suspicions that Elassa had been using dark Force powers on Sunry, I didn't know what she had been trying to attempt though. Knowing the Sith it was either something to bring discredit on the Republic, or an attempt to turn Sunry to the Sith.  
  
I theoretically knew how to tell, I had read about the procedure but had never actually tried to use it. I asked Jolee if he had ever tested someone for mind tampering and he admitted that he had not although he also knew the procedure. Sunry asked us what we meant and I could see that he was now realizing that he might have been influenced by her Sith powers and was afraid.  
  
Jolee told me that he thought I would be a better choice at making the attempt since I was more connected to the Living Force than he was. I was puzzled by his statement and he clarified himself by saying that I was attuned to the Force that was present in every living being. It was what allowed me to have the knowledge I had about who needed help and guided me in my attempts to help them.  
  
I asked Sunry if he would trust me to make the attempt, I would only look for traces of dark influence in his mind, I would do my best to not read any of his memories or thoughts. Though I admitted that it might take me a moment to get the hang of what I was attempting to do. He looked at me and asked what I needed him; I told him that he should just sit down and try to meditate if possible. To think of nothing would probably be the best, and for him to tell me if he felt uncomfortable at any time. I gently put my hands on either side of his head and let my force powers thread their way though his mind searching for signs of tampering. I found what I had been dreading, and I pulled back and told Sunry what I had found so far. The tampering seemed to be connected to certain memories of his and I asked his permission to go into only those she had tampered with to determine what she had been trying to accomplish. He looked into my eyes and then nodded. I told him to meditate again and not be surprised if certain memories arose, these would be the ones that she had attempted to tamper with.  
  
I went back to where I had had found the tampering and followed it to the memories that Elassa had been tampering with. Disturbingly they were associated with his intimate memories of his wife. I was puzzled what had she just been oddly voyeuristic? Or was there more to this. I concentrated on trying to tell what she had been attempting to do and discovered that she had been trying to associate those memories with feelings of overwhelming anger. I realized with horror that she had been attempting to make Sunry murder his own wife. If she had succeeded she would have struck a blow to Republic morale, if she managed to turn Sunry to the Sith afterwards that would have been a further victory.  
  
I disengaged myself from Sunrys mind and looked at him; he was breathing heavily and looked extremely angry. It was as I had thought; it was only his love for his wife that had prevented him from killing her. That and the fact that he had been avoiding being intimate with his wife, because he thought he was in love with Elassa. What an odd turn of events, Elassa had actually caused her own death, her tampering had caused Sunry to snap once he found out she was using him.  
  
I waited until Sunry had calmed down and he asked me what Elassa had been doing with those memories, I could tell he was revolted by the fact that his lover had apparently been exploring his memories of his wife. I gathered my thoughts and told him what I had found out, Sunry paled and I was happy he was already sitting down. Sunry said to me "She tried to make me kill my wife! Could... could that still happen is the damage still there?" I nodded to him and he buried his face in his hands and began to weep.  
  
I took a moment to decide the best course of action and said to him "Sunry I will now tell you my judgment in this matter, I find you not guilty of the murder of Elassa since she was the cause of her own death with her attempts to manipulate your mind. However, you are still a danger to your wife, I ask that if you are freed by the Selkath that you immediately report to the Jedi Council on Coruscant and submit yourself to them for treatment. Do you accept my judgment in this matter?" I asked him formally.  
  
He looked at me and nodded and I repeated that he must submit himself to the Jedi Council, He stood and said "I will submit myself to the Jedi Council as soon as I can get there once I am freed you have my oath." He slumped and said "I can't believe that I could hurt my own wife, but I killed Elassa and I never thought I could would do that either." I nodded to him and we left the prison are and went to tell the Selkath Warden that I was prepared for the trial to begin.  
  
With skillful questioning of the witnesses I was able to obtain the not guilty verdict I had been seeking. I felt somewhat bad about withholding evidence from the court but the Selkath laws made no allowance for the actions of the Sith. The Selkath penalty for murder was death and for Sunry to die for his part in Elassa's murder would have been a grave injustice in my mind. I sighed to myself as the verdict was given and followed Sunry out of the court room. Sunry turned to me and asked what I wanted him to do and I told him to follow me to the Republic Embassy.  
  
There we had a meeting with Roland Wann and I told him that I had found the recording, he started to get angry with me for accessing the data and I told him bluntly to let me finish. I informed him that Elassa had been a Dark Jedi and from the look on his face I saw this was something that the Republic had been unaware of. I then informed him that Elassa had been using her powers to tamper with Sunry's mind and had caused her own death, the tampering remained though and Sunry was a threat to himself and to his wife. Elora looked shocked at this and I told her that Elassa had been trying to get Sunry to kill her. Sunry had remained silent through this but at that he started crying again and apologized to her. I kept a close eye on them and advised them frankly to keep separate sleeping quarters until Sunry was healed. Elora looked shocked but Sunry nodded to me and I knew he understood how dangerous it would be for Elora to sleep in his presence right now.  
  
I told Roland Wann that Sunry and Elora must get the next possible transportation to Coruscant and that Sunry had agreed to submit himself to the Jedi Council there for treatment and healing. Roland had been very shaken by all the revelations and quickly agreed saying that there was a transport leaving in four hours and he would make sure they both were on it, and had rooms on separate sides of the ship. He would assign guards to both of them for their protection and make sure that Sunry was escorted to the Jedi Council. I hadn't meant for Sunry to be effectively under arrest but Sunry gratefully accepted Roland's suggestion and I could tell that it made him feel safer. I nodded to Roland and thanked him for his assistance in the matter and took my leave of them, saying to Roland that I had other matters to attend to for the Republic. He took my meaning and nodded and wished me well. 


	18. Manann A Sith Base

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own.   
  
Manaan – Sith Base  
  
We returned to the ship for some supplies before attempting the Sith base and I took the opportunity to see if Balista was ready to talk to me about what had happened earlier. I found her resting on her bunk and she asked me how things had gone. I told her of what I had discovered and she asked how I felt about keeping information from the Selkath's. I grimaced and told her that I regretted it but I knew that the Selkath's would not accept my testimony about the true actions of the Sith in the matter. I shrugged and said that I was comfortable that I had found the most correct path out of several less than perfect possibilities.  
  
She nodded and I brought up the subject of our discussion earlier. She agreed that she had ended it rather abruptly, and that maybe a Master could have handled it better. She said that she should have never brought up the subject and certainly not with me. Bastila told me that part of her purpose on the mission was to guide me in the way of the light and to help me avoid the dark side. But she felt that she had failed in that task, that she wasn't the proper Jedi to guide me.  
  
I was confused, I knew that part of the reason I did good was because of her, I wanted her to think well of me. The bond between us was a great source of comfort and strength, whenever she was with me I found it easier to know what the right path was. For some reason it just seemed clearer, I knew that I depended on Bastila in ways she didn't see, and seemed determine to not accept.  
  
Bastila admitted that she had always never had much skill at controlling herself and with the bond she seemed to have even less. I looked at her confused and then suddenly afraid I told her that I seemed to be less emotional when I was with her and asked her if I had been somehow siphoning off my anger along the bond and dumping it on her. I was honestly afraid suddenly that I had been doing this but she grabbed my hands and told me that she would have known if I was doing anything like that, and I most certainly had not. I looked at her searchingly and knew that she was not lying to me or hiding anything and I calmed back down. I would not have been able to forgive myself if I had been doing that to her.  
  
Bastila watched me for a moment then said "You have maintained the path of the light side. But it has been in spite of my influence, not because of it. It is increasingly obvious I am unable to guide you properly." I once again disagreed with her, trying to tell her that she was influencing me to do good. But she shook her head and said "That is kind of you to say, but I think the evidence speaks for itself. I think... I think I may have made a very big mistake. I simply hope that you are not the one who pays the price, ultimately, for the fact that I can't help you enough."  
  
I stared at her wondering how I could get her to see all that she meant to me. I reached out and clasped her hand and said "Maybe we could help each other?" Bastila looked at me searchingly and said "That's a kinder response than I deserve. And I can see there is wisdom in your words. You... you continue to be there for me, don't you? Even after I keep pushing you away, you're still around when I need you most." She paused and I knew my heart was saying along our bond I love you, and I couldn't hide it.  
  
She looked down and then back at me and said "You're like no one I've known before. And you're nothing like what I expected you to be after... after the Council sent us on this mission together." I tentatively asked her "How did you expect me to be?" She shook her head and said "Well, just... different, I suppose. Things are not going as I thought they would. I... I need time to think about all this."  
  
I couldn't help myself in that moment of closeness, I brought her hand up to my chest and laid it for a moment against my heart and bowed my head over our joined hands. I was feeling so much at the moment and her hand against my heart oddly enough brought me a moment of pure peace and tranquility. I knew she felt it along the bond, how the simple gesture calmed me. Her eyes were confused when I looked back up at her but she made no attempt to free her hand from my grasp and waited until I let it go myself. She paused a moment after I had let her hand go and left it pressed palm flat against the center of my chest, I felt a sudden white hot joy rush through me leaving my skin tingling in its wake. I felt very bright in my spirit at that moment and was suddenly ready to take on any darkness for her.  
  
I think the sudden wave of emotion startled her and she looked at me and I could see concern in her eyes. She slowly removed her hand and I was worried but she smiled at me reassuringly and told me that she would like to accompany the group going to infiltrate the Sith base for the droid data recorder. I nodded and got up; reminded that I needed to make sure everyone was ready for the mission.  
  
Bastila watched Cait leave and stilled the trembling that shook her hands, she could no longer escape the reality of Cait's love for her. The fact that such a simple gesture of hers could either calm Cait or rouse her to overwhelming feelings of joy had shocked her. As did the realization that Cait would probably do almost anything for her. Given the fact that she was having such difficulty controlling her darker emotions, that meant that she was endangering Cait. Bastila finally admitted to herself that she loved Cait as well and she was very afraid that she would weaken her resistance to the dark side as she had once before.  
  
It was up to her to get Cait to realize that the love they had for each other was too dangerous to them both and that they had to resist it. Now if only she could manage to persuade herself to do what was needed.  
  
I decided to take Bastila and Juhani on a tour of the city and to follow up on some vague feelings I had before we decided to infiltrate the Sith base. I think Jolee must have had a conversation with Bastila at some point in the day because she only paused a moment when I told her there were some things that I thought we should do before entering the Sith base before agreeing.  
  
My path lead me unerringly toward the Mercenary Enclave where we were stopped by a Selkath named Nilko Bwaas who was concerned as to why the Republic was hiring so many mercenaries and why they were not returning. He said he was a friend of the Republic and that he would not use the information to harm them and I could tell he was not lying. He asked me as a Jedi to please look into the matter and make sure the Republic was not doing anything to harm the fragile ecosystem of their planet. I wasn't sure exactly what he was concerned about but agreed to look into the matter for him.  
  
That had been one of the things I had been sensing, and the other was very near. I looked over and another Selkath in the Mercenary Enclave caught my eye and I moved over to speak with him. He greeted me first and asked me what my feelings for the Sith were, I answered him truthfully and he said that he did not agree with Manaan's neutral stance but politics stayed his hand. He told me that several Selkath youth, among them his daughter, had disappeared about the same time as the Sith had started their Enclave here. He wanted me to see if there was any connection between the two events and I agreed that I would attempt to find out the fate of his daughter and the other youths. He suggested some of the mercenary's in the area might have an idea and I might want to try asking them first.  
  
I had my thoughts as to who knew the information and it was quickly confirmed, the Irodorian mercenary in the golden armor that my attention had been drawn to. I spend a moment watching him and then approached the Irodorian. He watched me approaching and informed me that he was not for hire, I told him I was more interested in information and he said I could ask whatever I wished though his answers might be distasteful to me. I nodded and asked if he knew anything about the disappearance of the Selkath youth.  
  
The Iridorian acknowledged that he might but his business with the Selkath was his own. I let my feelings guide me and was amused at what I needed to say to get the Iridorian to tell me what he had been doing.  
  
I said with a casual brutality "Maybe I'll just gut you like a Selkath preparing an Orchana ray for lunch." I could feel Bastila and Juhani staring at me in shock behind my back but the Iridorian straightened and replied "You speak the blunt and brutal language of my people. We share the love of death and bloodshed. But we are a rare breed on this planet. Even the Sith are as weak as the cowardly fish people. The Sith sought to buy my loyalty with credits... as if wealth could somehow quench my burning bloodlust! They would have been better off hiring an Echani for the errands they had me running."  
  
I nodded to him and asked "What were you doing for the Sith?" Bastila had relaxed again by this point realizing that there had been no sense of anger in my emotions when I had made my shocking statement, and that it had gotten the Iridorian to talk to us instead of continuing to treat us with distain.  
  
The Iridorian continued "the task paid well, but was boring and beneath me. I was told to lure the Selkath youth to the Sith Embassy, nothing more. I lied, I threatened, I promised... and I brought the most promising youth of the fish people to the Sith." Bastila said "So you brought these youths to the Sith. And then what did you do to them?" He replied "And there I left them. To what purpose I neither know, nor care. Perhaps when the Sith learn I have betrayed their secret they will try to kill me. I will welcome the excitement."  
  
I grinned at him and told him that I hoped the Sith would fulfill his desire. He chuckled and turned away. I told Bastila and Juhani that I thought it was time that we paid the Sith a visit and we proceeded to the Sith base. Bastila and Juhani following me as I walked past the reception desk and opened the entry door and walked in through the front entrance. Bastila and Juhani shook their heads and got ready for the fight they knew had to be upcoming as soon as someone realized just who had entered their base.  
  
It was not long before the Sith officer at the desk realized the pass card was out of date and called for her commander. As soon as he entered they realized that we were not supposed to be there and her commander yelled for her to sound the alarm and called for his droids to attack us. I was between her and the alarm however and she never had the chance to alert the base before I killed her. It was a very short fight, droids were no match for three Jedi.  
  
Most of the fights during our investigation of the base were amazingly easy, only the occasional group of Dark Jedi giving us difficulty. We found the droid and the data module the Republic wanted us to obtain but we had to find out what had happened to the Selkath youth as well so we continued to explore the base. We found the security room and I disabled the force field that had blocked our way earlier. We went back to that location and continued deeper into the base.  
  
As we were going up a corridor I spotted a Selkath, as he saw us and began firing upon us I realized what the Sith were doing with the Selkath youth. I should have seen it earlier; they were turning the Selkath to the darkside.  
  
This area appeared to be some type of training annex and in the medical unit we found the bodies of two Selkaths and one Selkath that was barely alive. He managed to gasp out something about the Sith torturing them before he died. His injuries had been too extensive for me to manage to heal. There was some type of token in his hand and I picked it up and took it with me.  
  
In the dormatory I found Shasa, Shaelas's daughter. She told us that the Sith had treated them well and were teaching them the mastery of the Force. Their alliance with the Sith would bring strength to Manaan. We argued with them that the Sith were evil and sought to only corrupt them. Shasa said that we spoke as if they were prisoners, but one of their friends Galas had chosen to leave and had been returned home safely. I showed her the pin that I had found and told them of the tortured young Selkath. I managed to persuade them of the truth of my words and they realized they had been lied to. One of the Selkath said that they needed to report this to the Selkath authorities and Shasa agreed with him.  
  
As they were leaving Bastila said "You have been saved from more than you know. Given time, the Sith would have turned you fully to the darkside... and you would have betrayed your world gladly." Shasa and the others listened to her and were obviously frightened by her warning. Shasa said "Quickly, my friends - we can stay here no longer. We must flee this foul embassy and warn our people against the plot to corrupt the Manaan youth."  
  
There was one area yet to enter and I sensed that a one strong in the dark side was within. There was a Dark Jedi Master and two Selkath apprentices within and the apprentices asked for the honor of killing us. The Dark Jedi Master laughed and agreed, and I sprang to attack him while Bastila and Juhani fought the apprentices. I was holding my own against the Dark Jedi Master and had gotten in some good attacks when Juhani and Bastila came to my assistance. It was not long before the Dark Master went down and we found his quarters. In his footlocker we came across a datapad that outlined the entire plan to corrupt the Selkath youth. The final plan was to have the Selkath youth overthrow the current government and install a puppet government that the Sith would dominate. This was what we needed to show the Selkath the true intentions of the Sith for their world.  
  
When we exited the base the Selkath Authorities were waiting for us. I wasn't sure if the Selkath youth had managed to get in to see them yet so I did not resist the arrest. The Arbiter they gave me did his best to get information from me but I refused to let him represent me. I was accused of the murder of several Sith and property damage and I had to smile at the truth of these assertions. Doubtless it rankled the Sith that three Jedi had managed to take out their entire base. I turned over the datapad we had found and the head Judge was very disturbed by what he read in it and adjourned the court to discuss its contents.  
  
They came back shortly and told me the charges against me had been dropped for discovering the plot against their government by the Sith. The Sith embassy was no longer subject to the protections of the Selkath law pending a suitable penalty against the Sith. I was free to go with their thanks.  
  
I went first to give the news of his daughters return to Shaelas and then headed to the Republic Embassy to give them the data module. Roland Wann was very pleased to have the data module back, he said that it had not been tampered with which meant the Sith had not managed to copy it.  
  
Roland then revealed to me that the Republic and elements of the Manaan government had begun construction on a underwater base to harvest kolto directly at the source to provide more kolto to the Republic. Construction had been going well when they had run into some type of obstruction... an ancient building possibly the Star Map I had spoke of.  
  
All transmissions were cut off from the base shortly after that and though they had sent down Republic soldiers and then mercenaries to find out what had happened, none of the expeditions returned. They had finally sent the droid down to try and discover what had happened but it had been attacked by firaxian sharks and damaged. Now he asked us to go down and find out what happened to the base, he had a submarine prepared for us and it was available whenever we were ready to make the trip. 


	19. Manann A Kiss

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own. Manaan – A Kiss  
  
I decided to return to the Ebon Hawk for a nights rest before going down to the base, we would start out fresh in the morning. It had been a long day. I noticed that Juhani wanted to talk to me so I invited her to do calestinics with me that night. I usually did them once a day for an hour or two if at all possible. It was hard to stay in shape, though we were physically active while we were looking for the Star Maps, it wasn't the type of activity that kept you in combat condition. So I took the opportunity to exercise whenever possible. Many of the others had decided that it was a good idea and I often had company during my exercises. It made conversation difficult but Juhani seemed to like talking while she was working out, and we had had a great many conversations about the nature of the Force during our workout sessions.  
  
I was meditating on and doing handstand push ups when I asked her "What happened after your father died?" She paused in her stretches and said "My mother was left to support me alone. A single non-human woman, living in one of the worse, most violent slums on Taris." Using the force I flipped myself to my feet then laid on my back, I levitated one of the storage crates over to me and let it come to rest on my feet and began lifting repetitions. I thought about what she said and asked her how they had survived.  
  
She replied that her mother was not able to make enough to feed the both of them and had given the majority of the food to her daughter; she had been too young to realize what was going on until her mother had collapsed one day. Her mother had never recovered and Juhani had watched her die, unable to get any medical assistance for her. I closed my eyes and concentrated on staying calm. Juhani told me that her mother had borrowed money from the Exchange and that when she died they had taken Juhani and enslaved her to pay her mother's debt. She had been waiting for her buyer to claim her when the Jedi came and freed her. She had been left with a dream that she had managed to fulfill. To become a Jedi, once again she thanked me for having turned her from the dark side and given her the opportunity to fulfill her dream rather than become what she hated.  
  
I finished my repetitions and levitated the storage crate back to its place and started my stomach crunches. Juhani watched me for a moment and then groaned and began her own set of crunches. I chuckled at her, and told her they were good for her, she growled softly and I laughed. Juhani hated doing crunches with a passion, but she knew that she needed to do them.  
  
I finished my exercises and went to take a shower, when I finished Bastila was sitting on her bunk waiting for me to come out. I looked at her and said "Have you had the time you needed to think?"  
  
Bastila looked at me said "You've been patient with me haven't you. I suppose you deserve and answer. But you have to understand how difficult this is for me to say." I nodded to her and waited for her to continue, however I decided it was time for a tactical maneuver and sat down on her bunk next to her. I could feel that she was working herself up to telling me that we should not pursue our feelings, and I was not about to let her do that without putting up determined effort to dissuade her.  
  
She shifted around to face me uneasy with my nearness and said "With all my training, I should be able to control myself better than this. But you're not like anything I expected. You're not like any one I've ever met before. I find myself watching you when I don't want to. I'm thinking about you when I don't want to it isn't supposed to be like this!" I watched her face as she said this understanding how conflicted she felt and asked her "What is it supposed to be like?"  
  
Bastila said "I don't know. It shouldn't be so hard not to think of you. It should be easy not to think of you. I should have discipline! Jedi discipline!" I was hard put not to chuckle at her outburst and she frowned at me feeling though our bond that I was not taking things as seriously as she would like. Bastila continued "Every time I try to call on my teachings to calm myself, they fail me. You have such power, such passion! I don't know if it's due to the bond between us, but I'm drawn to you."  
  
I frowned at her and said "Are you interested in me or in my ability to use the Force?" She looked at me and said "The Force is a part of you, as is your power. But that's not what attracted me to you. It's more than that. Maybe it's the bond we share. It gives us a certain... intimacy." She paused and looked away from me and said "If I could, I would return to Dantooine. I need to be away from this bond of ours. I need to weaken it. I need to be anywhere but near you!" I drew back from her hurt by her harsh words and tried not to show my pain, but I knew she felt it.  
  
I told her "Just give into your feelings Bastila. I know you want to." Bastila looked at me and I could feel her struggling against her own feelings "You're stronger than I am, and there's no point in telling me otherwise. You will be a great Jedi, I think. I hope. In some ways you make me feel weak, like I am caught up in the wake of our destiny. But at the same time you make me feel stronger, more alive." I looked at her with renewed hope and told her "And I feel more alive when I'm with you."  
  
Bastila shook her head and said "I realize now these feelings are part of the bond we share. The Jedi Council surely realized this; they knew my loyalty to the doctrines of our Order would be tested on this mission. By facing and overcoming my feelings for you I have learned a valuable lesson about control and the dangers of emotion. This is an important step in understanding the Force. I'm sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear. But I felt it was important you know our... infatuation... was nothing more than a result of our powerful bond."  
  
She was looking rigidly straight ahead at the end of this speech and not directly at me and I wondered if she really expected me to take any of it seriously. I could feel the hollowness of her words not only through the bond but through the Force. I said to her "You're rationalizing, Bastila. You're just scared to face the truth." Bastila turned back to me and asked angrily "You're the one who can't face the truth. Malak has to be stopped. How can I do that if I let myself be blinded by my feelings for you?"  
  
Finally the truth I thought, this was the source of a lot of her fears. I gripped both her hands and said forcefully "I'm going to stop Malak, Bastila. But I want to do it with you at my side." She looked at me searchingly and said "You... you mean it don't you? But how can I be sure you aren't making a mistake. I... I have to resist. I have to be strong for both of us." I smiled at this last and said to her "You know I'm right, Bastila"  
  
She shook her head and stubbornly said "But I don't... I mean, I can't... Malak will..." I sighed and pulled her toward me saying "I love you Bastila, and I know you love me." She stopped her rambling and looked into my eyes and said "Okay you've made your point. Now shut up and kiss me, you fool."  
  
I laughed and finished pulling her toward me, but I didn't kiss her just yet. I touched her face gently tracing the contours of it and watched as her eyes slowly closed, I trailed my fingers over her mouth and watched as her breathing quickened. Finally I gently kissed her, and it was everything and more than I thought it would be.  
  
When I gently broke off the kiss Bastila looked very confused and said hesitantly "We... we shouldn't have done that. It was wrong. The Jedi aren't allowed to fall in love." I sighed and said plaintively "We're not going back to this, are we?"  
  
Bastila was obviously agitated and she said "It was... it was a moment of weakness. When I kissed you... we shouldn't have... no, I'm sorry. I know we both wanted it, but we shouldn't have given in to our desire. We're Jedi! We can't act like this. Not now, not while we still have to deal with Malak! I'm... I'm sorry. I don't blame you, but... it was a mistake. We cannot become emotionally involved; such feelings lead to the dark side. We will not have such a discussion again, I am a Jedi and I will not allow this to happen. Now I have to get out of here before somebody sees us together." With that she shielded herself from the bond and walked quickly away.  
  
I stared after her astonished after she fled wondering who she though was not aware of our mutual attraction. Then I beat my head for awhile against the bulkhead and fought off tears, Juhani came in attracted by the noise and stared at me then sighed. "Bastila?" she said questioningly. I nodded and said "Who else would drive me to beating my head against a wall; I'm trying to figure out why I think this feels good." Juhani looked at me puzzled and then chuckled and pulled me away from the bulkhead. She suggested we take a walk to see the ocean and I agreed that might help. 


	20. Manann An Underwater Base

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own.   
  
Manaan – Underwater Base  
  
We were walking down the corridor when a drunken Twi'lek made a remark about Cathar's. Juhani bristled but I stepped between her and the drunken man. He laughed and made some comment about it not being any wonder that they had crushed her world so easily. Then he asked me how much I wanted for my Cathar slave. I got irritated myself and told him that she was no slave. Suddenly the man peered at Juhani and said "I know that... Hey wait a minute... you look familiar somehow... Hmm... now where could I have... No, he's dead and likely she is too."  
  
I started to get a sinking feeling that and he confirmed it when he repeated his offer of money for her and said "The females make amusing pets, but males should be put down like the animals they are. I remember one time on Taris..." Juhani yelled at him asking him what he had done on Taris. He smirked and said "You were the little Cathar I was going to purchase. But those Jedi came and stole my pet away from me." He taunted Juhani some more and then asked again how much I wanted for my pet. Juhani growled "I will see you dead for what you have done to my people!" and made a motion toward her lightsaber. I grabbed her arm and said "There is no emotion..." Juhani shuddered and calmed and said "...There is peace." The drunk was muttering to himself and choose to run off saying something about he would have her yet.  
  
We continued walking and Juhani thanked me for preventing her from striking him down, but she was worried about what he planned to do. I nodded and decided that we should return to the ship and discuss this new problem with the others. As we returned to the Ebon Hawk the Twi'lek was waiting for us with two Selkath thugs. It was not a wise move on his part; Juhani and I were more than capable of fighting the three of them. The Twi'lek fell to the ground mortally wounded he laughed and told Juhani that he had killed the Cathar for the pleasure of killing her race. I was shocked and Juhani was seething barely in control of herself. I reached to her and asked her not to let herself fall to the dark side. She looked at me and I could see her calm down, the man tried to keep provoking her though, telling her how he had killed her father and then come looking for them but could not find them till he saw her on the auction block. Juhani spat "You... You killed my father, you killed my people, and you treat us like animals... You deserve to die!" I spoke to her softly and said "Do not give in Juhani. You are stronger than this." The Twi'lek spat blood and said "Give in and embrace your hate! You're no better than me! You're nothing!"  
  
I looked at the pathetic Twi'lek and shook my head and said to her "Do not do it Juhani, you are not an animal." She looked at me pleadingly and cried "I... Help me please! Do not let me give into my anger again." Juhani had become a younger sister to me, and I cared for her greatly. I gripped her shoulder and said to her "There is no emotion..." I was using my Force powers at the same time to drain off some of her anger and diffuse it. I didn't know how I was doing it but I made myself a center of calm for her. She felt what I was doing and relaxed and finished "... There is peace." Rationality returned to her and she said "No, I will not do this. He may die, but it will not be out of my vengeance." With that the Twi'lek gave a last hate filled gurgle and died. We dragged the bodies over to the sea and dumped them in letting them drift away. And then we returned to the ship arm in arm.  
  
Bastila saw us enter and turned and walked away, I realized that she had misinterpreted what she had seen, but I didn't feel that I could go after her right then. Juhani still needed to talk to me desperately. We talked for awhile about what she had felt and she calmed down and told me she wanted to meditate for awhile. I nodded and went to find Bastila, she was talking with Jolee and I didn't want to interrupt them so I sighed and decided to just try and get some sleep. It had been an emotional roll coaster of a day and I was starting to feel numb. The next day when I got up, I felt tired and depressed; Bastila was still shutting herself away from our bond. The situation with Bastila seemed to sap my strength away from me. Bastila was still avoiding me and I realized I was seriously starting to feel pretty aggravated with the entire situation.  
  
Everyone seemed busy this morning and I shrugged and decided to take HK to the droid shop and see if they had any upgrades for him. I picked up a few things and we walked back by the Republic embassy, I knew I was being stupid but I decided to just take HK and I down to the underwater base. It just didn't seem to matter and I didn't want to be around anyone this morning. HK was a more than decent backup anyway and he was undemanding company. I probably should have seen if Zaalbar wanted to go as well but I didn't want to step back onboard the ship. I admitted to myself, I was avoiding seeing Bastila.  
  
I found that I actually enjoyed the trip down in the submarine; I felt the aggressiveness of the firaxa sharks but was able to persuade them that the submarine was not food on the way down. I stepped out of the submarine into an eerily quiet base. Extending my force senses I could tell that there were several beings alive down here but they all seemed wrong somehow. I stopped my half meditation and decided to investigate further. The first person I ran into was crazed with fear , he was one of the mercenaries that had been sent down he told me that the Selkath had come out screaming and croaking and had attacked his companions. Some of them had left using one of the submarines but they had been attacked when they left and he had heard the explosion of the submarine. Hmm, interesting the sharks would let people come down but they would attack them if they tried to leave. I told him to wait here and that I would see what I could do. I know he thought me mad.  
  
As I walked through the base I came across several bodies, all clawed up and some of them with appendages torn off. I finally came across some of the Selkath's and realized they were all insane; they didn't even talk anymore just screamed at me and attacked madly. HK and I killed them and I realized I was feeling more awake now. This wasn't going to be a walk in the park like so many of my recent forays had been. I started using my force senses to check every room before I entered and HK and I stalked through the underwater base. In one of the rooms I found a data pad that recorded the work of one of the scientists on a sonic emitter that could be used on the outside of an enviro-suit to drive off the firaxa sharks. I located the emitter it described and stashed it in my pack. We came upon one of the heavy assault droids and I suddenly realized how much I depended upon Bastila's force powers to attack these. It was all I could do to remember my lessons and disable it for short periods. I paused a moment after it had been destroyed and went over the lesson in my mind and though about what I had done wrong. I resolved to use the force on every droid that attacked us down here until I got the hang of it again.  
  
We found a man whimpering in a locker but he would not come out, he was mad with fear and nothing I could do, would persuade him to come out. I asked if he had enough food capsules and he laughed and said no, I gave him a few and told him that I was going to make sure the base was safe for him to come out. He laughed and started talking about me being fishy food. I shook my head and went on. We finally cleared all the Selkaths and patrol droids from the first part of the base and I told HK to make sure it was safe for me to come back. He couldn't wear and enviro suit so I would have to go to the second part of the base myself. We would stay in touch though using our communicators.  
  
I meet another survivor in an enviro suit in the underwater part of the facility but he wouldn't listen to me when I told him that the first part of the base was now safe. Instead he said something about going out to the ocean floor and ran off. I was still struggling with learning how to move in mine and I watched him with frustration as he left me and headed down the hall. I got to the entrance he indicated just in time to see him carried off by one of the larger firaxa sharks. I swore to myself then sighed, if only he had listened to me. Using my force senses and the sonic emitter I was able to make it safely to the second section of the under water base. There were a few more Selkath to fight there and I found two people behind a force field. They stared at me with shocked eyes when they saw me and I could tell that they were close to breaking under the stress of what they had seen. They broke down when I spoke to them and one of them in a panic started a depressurization cycle in the room I was standing in. I used my lightsabers to break though the force field separating me from them and stopped the cycle.  
  
I used the force to calm them and to persuade them that they were alright now and managed to get them to talk sensibly to me. The two of them apologized to me for reacting like they did; they explained that they had felt so afraid. They told me what had happened at the base, they had disturbed a huge firaxan shark. They said it had been screaming inside their head and that's when the Selkath had all went insane and attacked everyone and so had the firaxan sharks outside. They thought that maybe the monster was the parent of the firaxan sharks outside and that it fed directly off the kolto. It must have been living deep within the rift and been disturbed by their construction. They introduced themselves as Kono Nolan the head scientist at the station and Sami, Kono wanted me to use a toxic chemical to kill the monster firaxan but Sami argued that they had no idea what it would do to the environment, it might even kill the kolto. She suggested that I try destroying the machinery that had caused the monster firaxan shark to appear even thought it would set back the Republic efforts to gain more kolto. I nodded and told them I would try destroying the machinery, I thought the idea of using a toxic chemical in the water an extremely risky and potentially environmentally deadly choice.  
  
I went out to the ocean floor again and found the Kolto Control as Sami had described to me. I extended my force senses and could detect something almost sentient in the water with me but it was not that close. Interesting I thought. I proceeded to follow her directions on how to use the fuel to cause a pressure explosion in the tanks. It succeeded and with a mighty explosion the harvesting device slid into the rift. I shook my head and waited to recover from the blast and sensed something watching me. I turned around to face the largest firaxan shark I could imagine. It was the sentient presence I had felt. It watched me but showed no signs of hostility; I proceeded past its watchful gaze to where I hoped the Star Map was located. As I went further I could see it in the distance and approached it being careful to record the data for review later. I felt a bit guilty that I had run off and done this on my own but I was feeling better and not so depressed. The trip had certainly cleared my head.  
  
I went back to Kono and Sami and as I had expected Sami was pleased with what I had done and Kono ranted and said that he would make sure the Republic was informed of my actions. I nodded and told them I would make sure rescuers were sent down as soon as possible. I went back to the area I had left HK and we started back to the submarine. I stopped feeling something odd and realized that we had unexpected guests. I could feel an evil presence waiting for us, Dark Jedi. I informed HK and we proceeded cautiously. As we approached I grew more certain of where they waited for us. I motioned HK to stop and we activated our energy shields and I prepared myself for what I was certain would be a challenging fight.  
  
Bastila had finally gotten tired of avoiding Cait and had went looking for her thinking it was unlike her to ignore the fact that they needed to find the Star Map. She could not find her anywhere on the ship and started to ask her ship mates if they had seen her. Juhani looked at her curiously and it was all Bastila could do to not bristle at the other woman. Juhani sensed her anger and looked at her asking what the matter was. Bastila told her that she was looking for Cait and Juhani told her that she had not seen her since last night after they had confronted her father's killer.  
  
Bastila was startled and asked when this had happened, Juhani looked at her oddly and told her of meeting her father's killer and how Cait had once again stopped her from giving into her anger. She had talked with her late into the night Juhani told Bastila but she had not seen her after that. Concerned now they both started looking for Cait and realized that HK was also gone. They decided to go to the Republic Embassy and see if anyone had seen her in Alto City and were informed that she had already gone down to investigate the base accompanied by a battle droid.  
  
Bastila was hard pressed to control her expression and she thanked the soldier and stared at the smooth water of the empty submarine bay. Juhani and Bastila stared at each other and then at the water feeling helpless. Bastila had been trying to get information from the bond but she was getting very little sense through it. This usually happened when Cait was concentrating on a single mindedly on a task. At least she knew that Cait was still alive and well. Bastila and Juhani extended their force senses trying to find Cait and ran into an unexpected presence. Dark Jedi and one of them was strong with the presence of the dark side. She could sense Cait as well shining with light force energy. Bastila and Juhani waited with senses extended tying to determine what was happening. Shortly they detected the deaths of all of the Dark Jedi and only Cait's presence remained.  
  
They saw the submarine rise back up though the docking area and Cait and HK got out from it. Cait looked at them and raised one eyebrow asking them how long they had been waiting for her. Bastila stared at her looking for any signs of injury but Cait appeared entirely unhurt, not even a hair out of place. When had she grown so strong that she could single handedly defeat three Dark Jedi one who had been strong in the dark side with out apparently any effort? And how dare she frighten her like that and then look so casual about the entire thing.  
  
This wasn't supposed to be how things went; she had broken things off with Cait so that they could both concentrate on the mission like they were supposed to. Instead here was Cait going off on her own to find a Star Map not even bothering to tell anyone where she had gone. Just taking that horrid droid with her for company. And acting like nothing was wrong with it, not only that but she was shielding herself from the bond which was something she had never done before. Had Bastila made a mistake, had telling Cait that there was no hope of a relationship started her down the path Revan had took? What was she supposed to do, she had done what her training told her to do but now it seemed that had been the wrong thing to do, Cait was shutting her out and Bastila was scared of where it could lead especially given that the next placed they had to go was Korriban.  
  
I could tell that Bastila was furious with me but I wasn't in the mood, she had been the one to tell me everything between us had been a mistake and I was still smarting over that. I was aware that I was acting like a brat when I asked her causally how long she had been waiting for me to get back. She glared at me and replied that they hadn't been waiting long and I replied that was good I would have felt bad about keeping them waiting. Juhani was looking between the two of us and I could tell the she was extremely uncomfortable with the over obvious politeness.  
  
I couldn't tell what Bastila was thinking, but then I never could she had always kept a part of herself shielded from the bond. I knew she had secrets she was keeping from me, they hadn't bothered me before but it bothered me now and reflexively I did something I had not done before. I shielded myself from the bond, it made me feel bad to do it but she deserved to feel how it felt. How dare Bastila throw my love back in my face and then think that things would just merrily run on as they had before.  
  
I stepped past the both of them saying that I needed to report to Roland Wann on what I had found and did they want to go with me. Bastila and Juhani fell into step behind me and it was all I could do to stop my pain from showing. I got myself quickly back under control and reported what I had found down at the station and the steps I had taken to resolve it. He winced over the destruction of the base and commented that the price may have been too high but I commented that taking the risk of destroying all the kolto by using an untried toxic chemical would have been worse. I could see that I had made my point and I turned over the toxic chemical to him for further experimentation. I took my leave of him and stepped out of the Republic Embassy only to find a waiting Selkath authority delegation. I chuckled and told them that I would come along peacefully and explain my actions.  
  
The court session was extremely interesting, with part of the judges aware of the station and part of them not. While they argued over whether or not to the Council needed to be told I waited patiently. Finally the head judge persuaded the others to be silent about the research station and asked me what had happened. I told them about the giant firaxan shark and how it had driven everyone in the station insane. Then I told them that I had destroyed the harvesters so that the shark would leave the station alone. They argued among their selves and I could tell they had some type of creation myth about them being descended from such a being, they called it the Proginator.  
  
I was doubly happy that I had taken the action I had and I reported the results of the court session to Roland, emphasizing that the Selkaths believed that the giant firaxan was their ancestor. He shuddered over what might have happened had I used the toxin to kill the shark and thanked me for taking the right action. I smiled and realized that Bastila had come in behind me and heard my second report. She smiled at me and complimented me on my actions. I looked at her and nodded non-committaly and felt sad as the smile dropped from her face and her eyes shadowed. I wondered what was wrong with me that I was being so cruel to her, and I cleared my throat and suggested that we take a walk out to see the ocean if she would do me the honor of accompanying me. Roland stared at us both but I said nothing only politely thanking him for his comments and respectfully taking my leave. I think he eventually just decided that I was excessively formal in my ways.  
  
Bastila hesitantly accompanied me out to watch the waves and I reluctantly lowered the shield I had been keeping over my feelings, I felt her gasp beside me as my feelings of pain, anger and sorrow made themselves known. I said nothing but continued staring out over the waves. She was silent beside me and I could feel her staring at me but I refused to look at her. She fidgeted but would no lower her own shield in return so I once again raised my own feeling disappointed. She bowed her head and I glanced over and could see that she was struggling not to cry in such a public place. What in the hell was she hiding? What did she know about my past that she refused to tell me? Jolee had said there was something dark about me and I had felt that it was locked in the past that I didn't know. I had grown more and surer that Bastila and the Jedi knew more about my past than they would admit and they were not telling me what it was. I suspected Bastila was under direct orders not to tell me but that only slightly blunted my feelings of frustration.  
  
I could think of only one place we could find relative privacy to talk and took her arm and lead her back to the ship, she didn't argue and I could see her bringing herself back under control as we walked back. She went toward the ship but I lead her around to the other side out toward the ocean where there was a stack of crates we could sit on and talk. There were no camera's floating around here, and no one from the ship could exit without us hearing the ramp. This was as close to private as we had gotten in along while.  
  
I apologized to her for going down to the Rift without telling anyone, only saying that I hadn't been thinking clearly and that I had wanted to get away from everyone for awhile. I know she knew that I meant that I had needed to get away from her. She still looked sightlessly out over the landing bay and frustrated I asked her "What are you hiding from me Bastila; I know you know something about my past." She started violently and stared at me and started to leave but I gripped her arms and prevented her from leaving. Then I realized that she was actually afraid of me and was instinctively drawing on the force to push me away from her, I stepped in closer and wrapped my arms around her and bound them together and stared at her saying "I told you long ago that I would never hurt you Bastila, I meant it then and I still mean it." She blinked and I could feel her letting the force drain away as her face whitened in realization that she had almost attacked me.  
  
I wondered what I had done that she knew about to make her think that I would harm her. I closed my eyes and though with anguish what was I before I lost my memories, I had no criminal record that I knew of what could the Jedi know about my past. Had I perhaps gone mad with grief over my planet being destroyed and slaughtered and tortured Sith perhaps? Had I fallen to the dark impulses I had listened to so many Sith soldiers recount in their own falls? Had the blow to my head which took away my memory saved me from a life of dark hatred? Would I be wearing a Sith uniform now if it hadn't happened?  
  
I asked her "What did I do that would make you so afraid of me, that you would think that I would hurt you. What did I do? Did I lash out at the Sith that attacked my world? Did I... did I torture them perhaps?" I waited for her to answer me and she refused to meet my eyes only shaking her head. I sighed and asked "Did the council forbid you to discuss what you know about my past with me?" At that she stilled and then reluctantly nodded. I nodded and said "Nothing much I can say then, orders are orders. I guess I'll have to ask when all this is done. No matter how bad it is I would rather know the truth." She looked at me searchingly and I meet her eyes directly and dropped the shields over my emotions and let her know that I was certain that I would rather know the truth no matter how bad it was.  
  
I reluctantly let her go and she turned toward the ship and then hesitated and said "I don't want you thinking that I don't care for you Cait, this is hurting me as much as it is you. I just don't know what to do, my training says one thing but my heart says another."  
  
I said "Just don't shut me out, I can't stand it. I love you and it hurts almost too much for me to bear." She turned and looked at me and I could see that she was crying. I pulled her back into my arms and held her and thought of how much I loved her and depended on her. Bastila wrapped her arms around me and accepted my comfort and I felt her pain and confusion though our bond. She had dropped part of her defenses; I shuddered and apologized for my boorish behavior telling her how sorry I was that I had hurt her. She apologized as well, telling me she had never meant to hurt me so. Finally we shared a short sweet kiss and I could feel that she did indeed love me but she was very frightened of her emotions for me. I could think of no way to reassure her except to show her as much as I could that she had nothing to fear from me. I finally released her and we walked back aboard the Ebon Hawk and prepared to leave Manaan for Korriban. I still had no idea how we were supposed to move around on a Sith controlled planet but hopefully some plan would make itself apparent.  
  
To take my mind off of things I cornered Jolee and asked him to explain what he had meant when he said his adventuring days were over. It took quite a bit of arguing with him but he finally began to tell me of his smuggling days, he had been involved with smuggling food and supplies to the citizens of a system called Ukatis whose king preferred to keep his people poor and hungry so he could control them. He had stolen most of the food and supplies, he said he considered it a tax on the greedy and that stole was such a harsh word. I chuckled at that and he scowled at me but continued saying that he had only been caught once by a lone Ukatish frigate. He thought the force had deserted him but that had proven to be a lucky day, he paused and looked sad and I wondered what had happened. He went on said that was the day he meet his wife. I wondered what had happened to make the memory both happy and sad. He said that he would prefer to drop the subject and I did. 


	21. Levithan

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own.  
  
**Leviathan**  
  
We left for Korriban the next day. We had been in hyper space for only a few hours before we were intercepted by a Sith Interdictor ship, they must have been waiting for us in the hyperspace lane. Carth said it was the Leviathan, Saul Karath's ship. Carth was talking about what all Saul had done to his family and I reminded him that he needed to make sure that his thirst for vengeance did not cloud his judgment. He assured me that it would not but if the chance came to kill Saul during our escape he would take it and nobody better get in his way.  
  
Bastila reminded him tartly that it might be premature to talk about our escape we didn't even have a plan to get out of this mess yet. She said thoughtfully "Maybe Admiral Karath has no idea how many of us there are on board. All of us have special talents that could be used to free the others. We just have to figure out who has the best chance to avoid capture so that they can come and rescue us later. It's a long shot, but it's our only hope."  
  
I said reluctantly "Admiral Karath will be watching the three of us very closely. One of the others is going to have to save us." I pondered who might have the best choice and decided that it was either Juhani or HK. I asked HK if he had any thoughts as to who would be better and he said that he had a reserve memory chip and back up power chip. He said that I should deactivate my main circuits and wipe his memory chip. The Sith would take him for a deactivated droid and take him to the junk heap where he could reactivate and come to our rescue. I nodded and agreed that it sounded like a good plan. If they had a Dark Jedi he would not be able to detect HK, but he would be able to find Juhani.  
  
The Sith stormed the ship and took all of us prisoner, they ignored the disabled droid completely. They separated the three of us from our companions and took us to the ships interrogation room.  
  
Carth and Saul exchanged uncivil greetings upon seeing one another. They talked about how Saul had destroyed Telos and Saul almost sounded like he was trying to justify himself to Carth. "In a war even the innocent must die. The Sith would not accept me until I proved I had truly turned my back on the Republic by bombing the planet." Saul said to Carth.  
  
Carth replied angrily "My wife died in that attack, Saul. And for that, I swear I'll kill you."  
  
Saul replied coolly, "You used to be a man of action, not of empty words. Cling to your lust for revenge if you must, but spare me your tired threats. I've heard them all before. You are an insignificant part of these events anyway. Lord Malak is far more interested in your Jedi companions. He has great plans for them."  
  
Bastila said "We will never serve Malak or the dark side! The Sith will be destroyed, Admiral Karath... as will you if you don't turn away from this path."  
  
Saul said "Your words are brave, Bastila, but the lure of the dark side is hard to resist - or so I've been told. I wonder if you companion is as devoted to the light as you are?" I looked at him in contempt and replied "You're wasting your time Admiral Karath." He seemed to wait for something else but I just looked calmly at him. I was working on what force senses I still had and was amazed to find out I that I was able to sense dimly all the people in the room. Bastila I could reach through our bond, I was quick to send a quiet reassurance through it and I could see her glance quickly at me.  
  
Then he said something completely puzzling. "Your defiant, I'm certain Lord Malak will find your loyalty to the Jedi amusing. The Dark Lord would probably reward me if I just killed you once and for all. But he may want to question you given the trouble you've caused him... and the history between you."  
  
I paused trying to figure out how the Admiral knew me and why he was implying that I had known Malak. I had some really odd guesses, had I been some type of spy? Maybe even an old lover though that sounded really odd given that I did not like men, maybe both a spy and a lover? I could almost see that. I decided to throw out a line and see if I hooked anything. I asked "History? What are you talking about?"  
  
Saul looked at me and then said "You mean... oh, this can't be true, can it"? You really don't know what's going on here, do you? Well, I won't be the one to deprive Malak of the pleasure of telling you himself. The Dark Lord will no doubt torture you for information and for his own twisted pleasure. Eventually you will tell him everything. The Sith can be very persuasive. However Lord Malak is in another sector. It may be some time before he arrives, so I suppose I will have to fill in for him until then. Activate the torture fields." I prepared myself as best I could for the pain.  
  
Saul called out "Enough! I don't want them to pass out before I question them. Malak will appreciate any information I can give him when he arrives." Bastila said "Don't waste your breath, Saul! We won't answer any of your questions."  
  
Saul said to her "I'm sure you won't, however we both know your friend's loyalties have proven in the past to be somewhat... flexible." I looked at both Bastila and Saul and knew that I just did not have enough information to formulate a good guess yet. Whatever I didn't sound like a very loyal person in the past. Maybe I had been rather mercenary in my loyalties.  
  
"What are you talking about?" I asked him once again hoping to get some decent information.  
  
Saul snapped back "I am interrogating you, not the other way around. You will answer questions, not ask them. It is time to put your loyalty to the test. I doubt torturing you will gain me your true cooperation. Your will is too strong to be broken that way. However even the strongest of heroes has trouble watching those they care about suffering. The interrogation will begin now. Each time you refuse to answer or give me a false answer, Bastila will suffer." Saul told me.  
  
I looked him in the eye knowing that he would torture us no matter what I said "I will not betray the Republic or the Jedi Order, even to save Bastila." I could feel Bastila's uncertainty through the bond and I sent my strength through it to her and my love. Telling the truth would not spare her, and she would not forgive me if I did.  
  
"My pain is meaningless, tell him nothing!" said Bastila to me. I looked at her and nodded gravely.  
  
"I tire of these games - now I want answers! On what planet is the Jedi Academy at which you were trained?" Saul asked. I looked at him and was puzzled he already knew the answer to his question I was certain of it which meant that... I sighed knowing what it meant; they had either already attacked Dantooine or were about to. I looked at him and asked "You already know the answer to the question, have you attacked yet or not is the only question I have for you."  
  
"Once again, I am the one asking he questions here." Saul said as he tortured Bastila. I could see from the flickering of his eyes that he was wondering why the fields about us were not blocking my powers completely. Nor did he realize that I was able to help Bastila through our bond, I could not stop the pain but I let her know that I was with her through it. If she would only pass out her torture would end sooner. Saul would never risk damaging her. Saul said "Enough! You see what happens when you defy me? This first question was only test. Obviously Malak knew the Academy was on Dantooine and it has since been destroyed by our fleet! Dantooine is an empty graveyard now. Nothing remains but a smoking ruin and the charred remains of your former Masters."  
  
I looked at him and said "One more crime you will have to pay for, Saul. You and all the Sith."  
  
He looked at me and said "More empty threats, We Sith prefer to let our actions speak for us. Perhaps that is why we are winning this war. Now... tell me your mission. How were the Jedi planning on using you to stop Lord Malak and our Sith armada?"  
  
I said "Once again Saul, I will not betray the Republic or the Jedi."  
  
Saul glared at me and said "Perhaps you need another reminder of the consequences of refusing to cooperate." Again Bastila was tortured and I had to fight back my anger while offering her what support I could. Her pain was more intense this time though and I knew that she would probably pass out soon. Saul gloated and said "Listen, can you not hear her suffering? You can spare her further pain by simply answering my questions. Now, I will ask again - on what mission did the Jedi Council send you?"  
  
I stared at him and crossed my arms and said "This accomplishes nothing, Saul. We will never betray the Republic." He said "Perhaps another lesson is in order?" With that he tortured Bastila again and this time she passed out, I was thankful.  
  
Saul said "I am surprised she did no pass out sooner. Rarely have I seen someone withstand such punishment and remain conscious. I see I am wasting my time here. When Malak arrives you will learn my interrogation techniques are considered merciful among the Sith. I will leave you here in your cell with but a small taste of the horrors you will suffer when Lord Malak arrives." With that he left us to the hands of his subordinates.  
  
I came too and took stock of my condition and then leapt to my feet glancing around. Bastila said "Don't try to move too quickly, you might not be fully recovered yet. Admiral Karth had his guards continue to torture you even after you passed out." I nodded and assured her I was fully recovered and she stared at me and then nodded.  
  
Carth said "They tortured all of us, though you got the worst of it by far. Saul wanted them to make us suffer. He's become some sort of sadistic monster."  
  
Bastila answered him "The dark side had perverted him, Carth Once you start down the tainted path it leads you further into the depths of evil. I fear he is forever lost." said Bastila. I said gently "No one is without hope of redemption, Bastila. But... I fear that there is little left in him to reach."  
  
"Yes, hmm, I suppose you are correct. Sometimes it is easy to lose sight of that hope in the face of such unbridled cruelty. I suppose I'm taking the news of Dantooine's destruction quite hard. First Taris, now the Academy... is there no end to the killing?" Bastila asked.  
  
I nodded my understanding and said "I know... it's hard to think they are all gone. But of course they are not really gone, there is no death..."  
  
Bastila finished "There is only the Force." I nodded to her. "I can only hope that some of the Jedi escaped. Vrook, Vandar, Zhar... I cannot imagine all of them being gone. In any case we have lost our one place of refuge in the galaxy." said Bastila.  
  
Carth broke in and said "None of this will matter if we don't get out of this prison before Saul gets back!"  
  
I asked "Where is Saul Karth now?"  
  
Carth said that "Saul mentioned that Lord Malak was on his way. I think the Admiral left to prepare for his arrival... and to report the results of the interrogation."  
  
Bastila looked at me and said "It is fortunate you were able to resist the Admiral's questioning. The fate of the galaxy could be changed by revealing the slightest piece of vital information." She paused and then said "I have to confess something. There was a moment - just a moment - when part of me was hoping you would tell him what he wanted to know. Just to make the horrible pain stop."  
  
I looked at her and said "I know and I'm sorry, Bastila. Watching and feeling you suffer tore me apart." I said.  
  
Bastila said "I know you wouldn't ever do anything to intentionally cause me pain. But you did the right thing. I don't honestly know if I could have been as strong in your position. To watch you suffer like that... it might have been too much to bear." She stopped and we both felt something. Bastila said "Did you feel that? A disturbance in the Force. The Admiral has sent his message the Dark Lord knows we are here now. Malak is coming." I nodded I had picked up on the same information.  
  
Carth said "Well then we had better hope HK-47 busts us out of here before he arrives."  
  
I looked at the time and said "He should be arriving about right now actually" They looked at me and at that time the cell fields went down and the door opened and HK-47 said "I believe I am right on time Master." I grinned at him and said "Yes you are HK did you have fun?" HK-47 said "Yes Master, I terminated 11 meatbags while rescuing you."  
  
Carth told us that we would have to get to the bridge to open the docking gates of the hanger so we could escape on the Ebon Hawk. Bastila said "We had better get moving. I can feel the darkness of Malak's presence approaching, and I don't want to be here when he arrives. None of us is a match for the Sith Lord." I looked at her and wondered his apprentice sure hadn't impressed me any.  
  
I said "We will have to split up a group of us should head for the bridge and another clear the way to the Ebon Hawk." Carth said that he wanted in on the bridge group and I looked at him and nodded and of course Bastila would go with us as well. That left the others to head back to the Ebon Hawk with Canderous in the lead. We all picked up our equipment and put it on and wished each other well.  
  
Then we headed for the bridge, Canderous called to let us know that they had made it to the Ebon Hawk, it was under heavy guard but he said for us not to worry they would take care of them. We proceeded toward the bridge taking on all the Sith that found us. The direct way to the bridge was cut off and we had to take a detour using enviro suits on the outside of the ship. Finally we arrived at the bridge door and I reminded everyone to turn on their energy shields we had a nice greeting party waiting for us. I opened the door and walked confidently on the bridge. As I had expected there was a welcoming committee there just for us.  
  
Admiral Karath said to Carth "Very resourceful. I assume you had something part in this; you learned your lessons well from me." Carth snarled back at him "The only thing you taught me was betrayal and death, Saul." Admiral Karath told him not to be a fool, he was offering us a chance to surrender, a chance to live. He said that Lord Malak was on his way and he would be arriving any moment. If we would surrender he would ask for Malak to be merciful.  
  
I snorted and Carth answered for all of us "I've seen enough of Sith mercy!" and the battle began. It was more of a prolonged battle than I would have liked but in the end we were alive and Admiral Karath was lying on the floor of his bridge barely alive. I told Carth not to give into his hatred and Bastila reminded him not to become what he despised.  
  
Karth coughed out something to Carth and Carth went over to see what he had to say. I was already slicing into the computer to open the bay doors and announced that they where open about the time that Carth got up looking pale and turned around and asked Bastila "it is true, isn't it? And... and you knew! You and the whole damn Jedi Council. You knew the whole time!"  
  
I looked at them puzzled and then knew it had something to do with my past, what could have Karath told him in such a short time to fill him in on my history? And was everyone to know my past but me, this was starting to get too irritating but now was not the time or place for this. Bastila looked at Carth and said "Carth, it's not what you think. We had no other choice! Please, you don't understand..." Carth yelled "So make me understand."  
  
I spoke up and reminded both of them that now was not the time or place and I though it was past time by the way for me to be filled in on whatever secrets either of them knew about my past. I was getting bloody tired of everyone around me knowing about my past but me. They both stared at me astonished and I turned and without seeing if they were following I left the bridge. I felt them catch up with me a few minutes later and we worked our way back down from the bridge toward the hangar. We had just entered the hangar deck when Canderous contacted me to let us know that they had taken out the guards and were ready to go as soon as we got there.  
  
We were almost to the Ebon Hawk when we meet Lord Malak entering the ship. Somehow upon meeting him I had the sense that I had known him for along time. I felt a sinking feeling. I didn't know my past but I had the overwhelming feeling that I was about to find out. Jolee's words returned to me "everything about you is off, like my eyes are tricking me. There is something very dark about you." How I had mastered the use of my powers in weeks, instead of years almost as if I was relearning them. I looked at Malak's face at the mask covering it and knew that he had no jaw. I felt somehow detached from what was happening filled with a calmness I was distantly amazed at.  
  
Malak said "I hope you weren't thinking of leaving so soon, Bastila. I've spent far too much energy hunting down you and your companions to let you get away from me now. Besides I had to see for myself if it was true. Even now I can hardly believe my eyes... tell me, why did the Jedi spare you? Is it vengeance you seek at this reunion?"  
  
A fey feeling was upon me and I replied to him "This meeting was inevitable, Malak." He paused and said "As is the outcome. I am actually surprised this confrontation did not happen sooner, given how powerful your mind once was. Even the combined power of the Jedi Council couldn't keep your true identity buried forever, could it?"  
  
Strange flashes of memory kept distracting me, as I tried to feel my way to the truth. Of Bastila telling me how the Jedi did not believe in killing their prisoners. Zhar saying that I was a special case. The memories of all the Star Maps and how Bastila had told me that Revan had visited all these worlds in search of the Star Forge. How Vroom had been so afraid that I would be lead down an all too familiar path. How I had memories of Bastila confronting me on the bridge of my ship. Finally I had the memory of looking out over a strange landscape of removing my face mask and looking with expressionless eyes at myself. My face was marked with the signs of Dark Force power and I accepted the truth. I was Revan.  
  
I regained my sense of where I was and noticed that I had successfully kept myself tightly shielded this entire time. I drew in a breath and felt the darkness with myself, I was what I most hated, I was Sith. How had I let myself go down that far, but now was not the time to explore the hazy new memories.  
  
Malak said to me "You cannot hide from what you once were, Revan! Recognize that you were once the Dark Lord - and know that I have taken your place!"  
  
I looked back at him calmly and said "Yes I know that I was Revan. I do not remember all of the details though. I'm sure you will be kind enough to fill me in Malak."  
  
He looked at me and said "You do not yet remember Revan? The Jedi set a trap. They lured us into battle against a small Republic fleet. During the attack a team of Jedi knights boarded your ship. The Jedi strike team captured you and the Council used the Force to reprogram your mind; they wiped away your identity and turned you against your own followers."  
  
I remembered something different from what he described, I had been waiting for Bastila to enter the bridge, I remembered something of my thoughts and feelings and was confused. How had I known Bastila? How did I know that she was headed toward me? I remembered watching her during the fight, the fight that I had seen in my dreams so many times. Now I realized that I had been looking at her lustfully. Something's hadn't changed I thought to myself amused. I had accidentally? Unthinkingly? Killed the soldier and I saw myself reflected in Bastila's eyes a monster. I had felt such pain, and despair. Had I loved her as Revan? How? Then the attack and my desperate determination that I would not let Malak kill her. There was something there about before? something had tried to kill her before? I had stopped something from killing her before, yes that was it. Before where I wondered and when?  
  
I chuckled dryly and said "The Jedi did not attack me Malak you did."  
  
Malak looked at me and said "I helped them, yes. I always knew that one day the title of Dark Lord would be mine! When the Jedi strike team boarded your vessel I saw my day had come. I ordered my own ships to fire on your bridge. I thought I could destroy all my enemies with a single glorious victory! I never dreamed the Jedi would take you alive from the wreckage."  
  
I asked curious "Why did you betray... "  
  
Malak answered "You mean why did I betray you, Revan. You are the one who taught me the ways of the Sith: the strongest must rule if we are to survive! You knew I would one day challenge you for supremacy, but you underestimated me. I acted sooner than you expected and seized the Sith throne with a single brilliant stroke!"  
  
I turned partially toward Bastila but kept my eyes watchfully on Malak. I asked her "Bastila is this true?" I thought I knew what had happened but I wanted to hear her tell me. I could feel her trying to figure out what was going on and I carefully allowed my feelings to only flow through the bond between us.  
  
She sighed suddenly able to tell that I had not slipped back to the dark side and said "It's true. I was part of the team sent to capture Revan... to capture you. When Malak fired on the ship you were badly injured. We thought you were dead. Your mind was destroyed, but I used the Force to preserve the flicker of life in your body. I brought you to the Jedi Council. They were the ones who healed your damaged mind."  
  
I asked the one question that was bugging me "But why the program me with another identity?"  
  
Bastila said "You were so badly damaged they thought you would never again be able to touch the Force, it was thought the kindest thing would be to let you live out a new life. One which you had a hand in choosing for yourself. But you regained your Force sensitivity and that is when we requested that you be assigned to my command. We were to keep and eye on you and see what developed. But then we were attacked over Taris and... well you know what happened after that. The dreams you had changed everything, suddenly there was the chance that you could lead us to the Star Forge and there was no other way to get the information."  
  
I said to her somewhat angrily "You've been lying to me this whole time Bastila." Bastila said to me "I wanted to tell you, but the Council forbid it! They were afraid you might return to the dark side if you discovered your real identity!"  
  
Malak said "But now you know the truth, Revan! The Council has failed in their attempt to make you their pawn! The will of a Sith Lord is not so easily manipulated!"  
  
I told Bastila "It is alright Bastila, I understand."  
  
Malak said angrily "Forgiveness, Revan? You are weak; I was right to betray you. You are not fit to rule the Sith!" I laughed at him and ignited my lightsabers. He ignited his and said "But now fate has given me a second chance to prove myself. Once I defeat you in combat no one will question my claim to the Sith throne; My triumph will be complete!'  
  
I chuckled and said "Triumph, Malak? You seem to forget that I'm still alive!"  
  
Malak replied "The Jedi Council were foolish to let you live. I won't make the same mistake. We shall finish this alone in the ancient Sith tradition: master versus apprentice, as it was meant to be!" I nodded acceptance and the he froze Bastila and Carth. I made no move to stop him for the feeling of fate was hard upon me. I was doing rather well in the fight against him, we were more evenly matched than I had believed possible and thought we each bore wounds from each other neither of us was seriously hurt. Malak finally got a force attack though my defenses and I rose rotating. This was an attack that I was prepared for though and got ready to defend myself but Malak choose to retreat away from the three of us.  
  
I caught up with him and he ignited his lightsaber and made a gesture that said come and get me. This time I was more prepared I thought and the fight was going well I was beating him. I got too excited though and he was able to freeze me, as I struggled to break his power Bastila came around the corner and saw me frozen there. She yelled "This isn't over, Malak"  
  
Malak said "your friends do not give up easily, Revan; you could always inspire loyalty." Bastila threw her lightsaber at Malak and wounded him and to my shame I panicked and lost precious time breaking out of the stasis.  
  
It gave Malak time to cut us off from him and Bastila and I knew that he had captured her. I was cutting my way though the blast door but Carth was yelling at me that he was already gone, we had to find the Star Forge. I finally stopped and used my Force senses to see if it was true and I slumped, he was already gone and he had Bastila with him. I screamed then in pure anger, and Carth stepped back from me. But I controlled myself and agreed that we must find the final map and the Star Forge. I was certain that where I found the Star Forge I would find Malak and Bastila.  
  
A few fighters followed us but I was able to quickly destroy then and we entered hyperspace headed toward Korriban. I came out of the gun turret to the center of the ship; I was not feeling at my best. What had come over me, I had been so stupidly overconfident even reckless, Malak should have never been able to paralyze me. If I had kept my head Bastila would not have gotten caught. I should have waited for Carth and Bastila to get free and the three of us go face him, I had grandstanded and look at what had happened and Bastila had paid the price.  
  
Fate or no I had been stupid to accept his challenge to a one on one duel no matter how much I had wanted it, especially when I had still been struggling over the fact I was Revan. I had wanted to kill him, kill him for daring to strike at me, for daring to try to kill Bastila, and the dark side had been singing so seductively to me to stretch out my hand and take my old powers and use them to strike him down for thinking he could take my place. I had barely been able to stop myself from instinctively reaching out to the dark side of the force and use the terrible powers I now knew where there.  
  
I was quickly finding out that it was one thing to turn down the dark side when you didn't know what power was there, another thing to do it when you were aware of the power that could be yours. That seductive voice had cost me precious time when I panicked knowing that Bastila was facing Malak alone, I could have used Force Lightening and part of me had been struggling to screaming that it was the only way to save her, but the part of me that was Cait wanted to have nothing to do with those powers and had been trying to break the stasis using the powers of the light. I almost felt like a split person right now, I really needed time to meditate on all that I had learned and find some way to deal with it.  
  
Jolee asked me "Where is Bastila? What happened on that ship?"  
  
Carth answered him "We ran into Malak. He would have killed us, but Bastila sacrificed herself so we could get away."  
  
Mission said "You mean she's... she's dead?"  
  
Jolee answered for me saying "Bah. Malak won't kill her, don't be foolish. He'll want to use her battle meditation against the Republic. Turn her to the dark side and the Sith will always be victorious."  
  
I said to them "Malak will keep Bastila close to him, I'm certain that if we can find the Star Forge we will find Malak and thus Bastila."  
  
Carth looked at me and said "No so fast. We've got a bigger issue to deal with her. They deserve to know the truth about you? Do you want to tell them what Malak said, or should I?" For a moment I was angry with him but then I calmed myself and shrugged wearily.  
  
I said "I'll tell them. I'm Revan." It was perhaps too short an explanation but it got the point across and I was feeling too tired and beat to care.  
  
Mission said "What... what are you talking about? Is this some kind of joke?"  
  
Carth said "No, it's no joke. The Jedi Council captured Revan and erased the Dark Lord's mind, programming in a new identity. Saul Karath told me on the Leviathan and Bastila confirmed it!" I looked at him and wondered why he believed Saul's and Malak's lies, it wasn't like he knew.  
  
I said "That's a lie Carth." He looked at me and started to argue but I said "They did not wipe my mind, Bastila was not lying it was damaged by the blast when Malak attacked me. And she was not lying about the second fact either they did not choose my path I choose the occupation I wanted. I think I would know what happened better than Saul or Malak. And what about you? Believing the words of the dark side before Bastila's?" I could see I had made my point as he flushed.  
  
Everyone had watched this exchange and Mission spoke up asking me "You're Revan? This is... this is big. Do you... do you remember anything about being the Dark Lord?"  
  
I nodded and said truthfully "Some, mostly some memories from right before I died. Though really not much more than what I had dreamed about already. I just remember being Revan now when I didn't before."  
  
Mission said "Just a few flashes? That's it? Nothing more? Then I don't think there's a problem. It seems to me that if you don't really remember anything about being Revan, then it doesn't really matter anymore. You are who you are now. right?"  
  
Trust Mission to see to the heart of the matter, I was indeed who I was now. Now, if I could only figure out exactly who this new person was, I was still mostly Cait but Revan's memories had brought in a new reality to the person that wore this body.  
  
Carth spoke up saying "Of course it still matters! How do we know more memories won't come flooding back? How do we know Revan won't suddenly turn on us? The whole time we've been chasing after Malak we've had his old Sith Master right at our side; listening to our secrets; hearing our plans!"  
  
Carth's old fears were back and in triplicate, I wasn't sure what to say to break him out of the place he was in. I settled for "I'm sorry, Carth... I wish this wasn't true." Gods how I wish this wasn't true I though to myself.  
  
Mission came over and hugged me and said "Hey - you've got nothing to be sorry about! You didn't ask for this. Besides, I know you... you're not Revan anymore. Whatever you used to be, you're one of us now!"  
  
Zaalbar spoke us saying "I agree with Mission. I swore a life-debt to the person you are, not to the person you were."  
  
Mission looked at both of us and said "Big Z and I will stick by you. We owe you our lives; we won't desert you now!"  
  
Carth was still trying to get everyone see things as he did and said "How can you say that, Mission? The Sith bombed my home world! Revan took away my family and destroyed my life!"  
  
Canderous snorted and said "Everyone knows it was Malak who gave the order to attack your people, Carth. You can't blame Revan for that."  
  
I swayed suddenly another memory forced itself upon me. Mission grasped me tighter and looked at my pale face and asked what the matter was. I said "I... Revan did not order that attack Carth. I was very tempted to kill Malak for that piece of stupid wastefulness. Not because I was merciful in any way but because I didn't see any use in ruling over a burned out shell of a world."  
  
Carth looked at me stunned and then said "I... I suppose you've proven yourself to be a friend of the Republic by your actions so far... Revan. But can I trust you? Can any of us?"  
  
I didn't directly answer him because I wasn't sure of the answer right now. I asked instead "What about you, Jolee?"  
  
Jolee said "What about me? I already knew who you were, thought it wasn't my place to tell you. Better off that you know, if you ask me. Does it change anything? I'm not here to judge you. You'll do what you have to, and I'll help if I can."  
  
I stared at him surprised by this revelation and then said "What do you think, Canderous?"  
  
Canderous replied "You defeated the Mandalore clans in the war Revan. You were the only one in the galaxy who could defeat us. We had never met one like you before, and never since. How can you even ask if I will follow you? Whatever you are fighting, it will be worthy of my skill. I'm your man to the end, Revan, no matter how this plays out." I nodded to him not really surprised by his answer.  
  
I said "What do you have to say, HK-47?"  
  
HK said "I am... experiencing something unusual, master."  
  
We all turned cautiously toward the droid and I asked "Why, What's happening?"  
  
HK replied "My programming is activating my deleted memory core. I believe I have a... a homing system that is restoring it, master."  
  
I looked at him surprised and confused and said "So this is the... stimuli you were waiting for?"  
  
HK said "I believe so, master. I was unaware of my homing system until it had been activated. It seems that the homing system deliberately restore my deleted memory core upon... upon returning to my original master."  
  
My jaw dropped and I said "You mean... Revan?"  
  
HK replied "Correct, master. Sith protocols maintain that all droid knowledge be deleted before assassination missions, and restored upon return. I have returned to you, and my full functionality is now under your personal command. It is a distinct pleasure to see you again, master"  
  
I said to HK "I'm not exactly Revan anymore, HK-47..."  
  
HK said "That does not matter, master. I am your droid, regardless of your actions or personality."  
  
Mission spoke up and said "Wow. What are the chances of that happening?"  
  
Canderous said "Remember we're talking about the Force, here. At this point Malak himself could drop out of the sky and I wouldn't bat an eyelash." Almost everyone chuckled at this including me and Mission nodded and said "Good point."  
  
I turned to Carth and said "Well, Carth - will you stand with me against Malak? And to rescue Bastila?"  
  
Carth said "Well, the others seem to trust you... and I don't see any other way that we can stop the Sith. And I suppose that Malak is the real enemy here... I really don't have any other choice, do I?"  
  
I shook my head and said "I'm not Revan anymore, Carth. I have too much of a life of my own as Catherine McDonald to be Revan again."  
  
Carth looked at me searchingly and said "I want to believe you. You've proven yourself time and time again during our mission, but this is a little much for me to wrap my mind around."  
  
I said to him "How do you think I feel?"  
  
Carth seemed to suddenly realize I might be going through a difficult moment myself finally and said sheepishly "This must be even more of a shock to you... I don't know how you even keep going. I guess we both just have to find a way to push forward. Don't worry - I won't let my personal feelings get in the way of my assignments or this mission. But don't forget I've sworn an oath to defend the Republic!"  
  
I said sharply "As have I Onasi!"  
  
Carth paused and remembered that I was also a Republic soldier and said "so I guess that's it then... we keep going. We've still got one more Star Map to uncover if we're going to find that Star Forge and save Bastila, so let's do it before it's too late."  
  
I said shakily "There are a few things that need to be addressed first but only Jolee and Juhani can assist me with these problems." Juhani and Jolee came over to me and I indicated that we should move toward the back of the ship for this discussion. Away from Carth I told them what I had remembered so far, I also told them that it was my fault that Bastila had been captured. "If I hadn't given into my anger and my desire to show him that I was still better than he, she might be here with us" I said.  
  
Jolee looked at me and said "That might be, or it might not be. Hard to say, it's not a situation most people are called upon to handle. Are you going to continue to expect yourself to be perfect?"  
  
I glared at him, I didn't want to be reasonable, I wanted to be at fault, and the last thing I wanted to admit was how much I felt powerless at this moment. Feeling Bastila's despair over our bond her fear, I had been trying to stay strong for her but I was having problems controlling my emotions. Juhani asked me if I could still feel her over the bond and I nodded and buried my head in my hands and started to cry. Wishing mightily that Bastila was here safe and that I would wake up and this horrible nightmare would just go away.  
  
Juhani laid a comforting hand on my back and I could feel both of their strong supporting presences beside me, it helped I gathered myself together and continued "And I'm so very angry at the Force right now." They both paused and looked at me I think Jolee understood better than Juhani at that moment. I continued "I had been wondering how we would manage to find the Star Map on Korriban, how we would manage to move around where there were Dark Jedi without us all getting caught. Now I know I can do it, no one will question a fallen Jedi seeking the Sith. And I can definitely pass as that right now."  
  
I suddenly attacked the floor beating my hands upon it till they bled and they both moved to restrain me. I had still not touched the Force during all of this emotional display and I know they were both afraid that I would truly fall if I did, and so was I. "I feel like a puppet I said, being lead around following its script, I had the feeling of it on the Leviathian of being controlled by something else the feeling that all of this was pre- destined. Malak, Bastila and I all following some type of path that had been laid out for all of us. This would mean that she was destined to be captured by Malak, I was destined to falter at that moment instead of killing him. What will it demand next?"  
  
Suddenly Jolee asked "What did Revan think when Bastila entered the bridge, you said that she looked at you like you were a monster. And that affected you, which showed that you were not entirely lost to the dark side then or you would not have cared."  
  
I looked at Jolee and said "I thought that I would give up anything just to have her come to me willingly. The title of Sith Lord, rulership of the galaxy they seemed as dross to me compared to her, I would have willing surrendered to her had she asked it of me." I think my admission stunned Juhani but Jolee looked like he had expected it.  
  
He asked "And did you fight to show her that?"  
  
I was confused and said "What? there was no way she would want me not with everything I had done! I knew that, I was content to die by her hand."  
  
Jolee said "So you gave up without a fight did you? I'd say her actions since have proven that maybe you should not have."  
  
I looked up at him and for a moment was filled with rage that he would dare say that to me. But it quickly cooled and I and realized the truth of his statement, what would have occurred if Malak hadn't attacked the ship. If I had told Bastila that I would willing go back to the Jedi with her. I had no idea but it would have probably been highly amusing to have watched her face. I realized that Revan had let herself be defeated that she had seen no easy way to get to where she wanted to be. She had decided on the obvious answer the one everyone expected of her, that she would go down fighting. Maybe it was a cowardly answer; to have tried to fight her way back from where she was would have been a task of monumental proportions. If anything the way things had turned out, though completely unexpected had given Bastila and I our best chance of coming to terms with the bond between us.  
  
If there was anything I had learned as Cait it was that to internally admit defeat was to ensure defeat. Was I willing to give up Bastila again? to declare defeat without attempting to find a victory?  
  
Suddenly I realized that my answer was a resounding NO! I looked up at Jolee and suddenly everything suddenly snapped into place to meld behind one goal lone goal. No matter how internally conflicted I was there was one thing that I was utterly certain of.  
  
There were still things I needed to deal with but Jolee was right, it didn't really matter if this was the will of the Force to me, if we were just puppets being manipulated by destiny, it didn't really matter what choices I had made in the past. Here and now I was putting myself 110% behind doing what I needed to do to find Bastila. What would happen then I didn't know but I would have to take that bridge when I came to it, it was impossible to take before.  
  
I stood and declared my determination, my gauntlet at Malak's feet and my promise to Bastila "I will NOT fail her, not this time!" my voice was resounding and utterly certain.  
  
Everyone had come running in the room and was staring at me with wide eyes wondering what was going on. Jolee said "Well it's not any secret that your going to challenge Malak for Bastila now. I think anyone who is Force sensitive at all heard something! Haven't you ever heard of being quiet about your plans?"  
  
I was puzzled and asked whatever did he mean? Jolee rolled his eyes and Juhani started laughing and said "You shouted that with the Force as well as your voice, it was deafening. They might have even heard that all the way to the Council on Coruscant."  
  
I blushed and then blushed more brightly as everyone started chuckling. "Uh... opps?" I said.

* * *

Malak had efficiently punched Bastila after disarming her and she awoke with her head splitting only to find herself in a torture cell. Her wounds had been healed only the pain of a mild concussion remained. Doubtless Malak had not wanted to risk his new prize. She felt a flutter of fear knowing that only endless days of torment awaited her and the attempts to turn her to the dark side. She instinctively felt for the bond with Cait and was relieved to find it intact. She opened herself to it and could feel Cait's swirling, conflicting emotions. Anger, guilt, fear Bastila was overwhelmed for a moment and suddenly worried that Cait might be unable to deal with the revelations forced upon her, and Bastila's capture all at once. Revan's memories were awake and Cait was so very vulnerable at this time to the dark side. Would she have the strength to resist? If only the Council had allowed her to prepare Cait... but they were never supposed to have encountered Malak. This was not how it was supposed to have gone.  
  
She remembered her fear when she came around the corner to see Cait helpless in paralysis with Malak towering over her ready to strike. She had thrown her lightsaber to distract him and had felt Cait struggling to break the paralysis, and had been willing to lay down her life to save Cait's. But things had not turned out that way she had forgotten that Malak would not kill her if he could possibly turn her to the dark side.  
  
Sudden feelings of anger came through the bond and she could feel Cait raging about something. Then there was a wave of dark power that surged along the bond and Bastila felt despondent. Had it all been for nothing? was Revan back and ready to take back her mantle as Sith Lord. Despairing she slumped and unthinkingly sought reassurance from Cait. She almost cried when she realized what she was doing but suddenly there was a sense of utter determination along the bond. A sense of raw power neither light nor dark followed it.  
  
Then ringing through the bond and through the Force itself came an oath "I will NOT fail you, not this time!" She straightened confused, and then felt the Malak's ship exit hyperspace and suddenly the bond was silence by strong waves of dark side power. Bastila felt suddenly alone, she hadn't realized how much she had come to depend on the comfort of knowing that Cait cared and loved her until it was suddenly gone. Bastila was confused, that had been Cait calling her but had she fallen? The call had been made through the Force and Bastila realized how powerful that call had been. Anyone with Force training would know that some message had been sent by a powerful Force adept to another. The most disturbing thing about the call was that it had been from Cait but it had not felt exactly like Cait. Bastila stilled her self and recalled it, the sense of the person behind the call was distinctly Cait, but also reminded her strongly of what she remembered of Revan. Who would she see she wondered when her rescuer came, would she see Catherine or would she see Revan?  
  
Malak entered and she fought to maintain her peace and not shrink away from the wrath and hatred he was feeling toward her. "So Revan has challenged me for you. I will turn you to the power of the dark side Bastila and then I shall have my final revenge on Revan! But first I want to show you to your new quarters." With that she was tortured to unconsciousness and transported down to a temple on the planet below. 


	22. Korriban Part 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own.

**Korriban Part 1**

**by Kudara**

* * *

At some point after my declaration I realized I had been cut off from Bastila. I extended my force powers and could still sense the bond but I could not reach Bastila through it. The dark side was blocking it. I sighed and wondered how long Bastila would hold out, I held no illusions that she could resist forever. That was one thing my training had taught me, you can only go so far before the combination of drugs, pain and mental pressure would win. Different people took different lengths of time to break but given skilled torturers and unlimited time there was no one that would not eventually break. That was why we had the alternate use of our implants after all. The Republic had accepted long ago that loyalty could only go so far before you would be broken.  
  
I must be careful and I must be quick. I could tell that I radiated both light and dark Force powers and I was refusing to choose either path. I could not until the map on Korriban was found. And honestly I did not know yet which path I would choose. I did not want to become a monster again but I did not know what I would do if the next time I meet Bastila she had fallen to the dark side and wanted me to join her. I concentrated each day as we approached Korriban on meditation and physical exercise. I slept only the times I had to and prepared myself for Korriban when I was not.  
  
I also spoke to Jolee a lot one time I was practicing with the Force and floating around the storage area and I asked "Jolee what do you think of love?"  
  
He answered "The Jedi, with their damnable sense of over-caution, would tell you love is something to avoid. Thankfully, anyone who's even partially alive knows that's not true."  
  
I asked "Aren't you worried about the dark side at all?"  
  
Jolee said "Love doesn't lead to the dark side. Passion can lead to rage and fear, and can be controlled... but passion is not the same thing as love. Controlling your passions while being in love... that's what they should teach you to beware. But love, itself, will save you... not condemn you." He paused looking at me and said "Ahhh, but listen to me go on as if I had all the answers. What do I know of love anymore? I'm just a lonely old man who's not even a Jedi."  
  
I said to him "No, I want to hear what you have to say."  
  
He looked at me and said "You do, do you? I wouldn't listen too closely... I'm no authority on anything. I just think that the greatest things in life shouldn't be avoided because they come with a few complications." I chocked over that and almost ended up on the deck and Jolee watched me recover my control and said "Love causes pain, certainly. Inevitably love is going to lead to as much sorrow and regret as it does joy. I suppose there are perfect, eternal loves out there... but I haven't seen any. How you deal with the bad part of love is what determines your character, what determines the dark side's hold over you."  
  
I nodded and said sadly "Maybe the Jedi just think you shouldn't take that risk."  
  
Jolee said "Bah. A life without risk is boring. Is that how you want to live? You want love? You've got to fight for it. I'll tell you one thing: sometimes no matter how hard you try, you and the one you love simply aren't meant to be together. The trick is to know when that time is, to know when it's time to fight and when it's time to part ways."  
  
I stared at him and asked "But how do you know which is which..."  
  
Jolee said "That's something you have to figure out."  
  
Of all the conversations the one that oddly moved me the most was HK, I had built him when I was Revan and sent him on some unknown assassination mission in Mandalorian space. He had been damaged and had been unable to return. He said that he found it distressing given that he was sure he could have protected me from the Jedi and Malak's betrayal.  
  
I said "Am I very much like the Revan you knew?"  
  
HK-47 replied "You are different in many fundamental ways, master. You have a concern for life that is unsettling. This cannot solely be caused by memory loss. I do not know how to explain it. Regardless, you do seem to be improved, overall, from the human I once knew."  
  
I was startled to tears and gave the confused droid a hug. I then asked him curiously "So... why the meatbag references?"  
  
HK answered "It was you who programmed me thus, master. Your pupil once asked what I thought of him and I informed him of his meatbag status. He was unimpressed, but you found the reference humorous. You changed my programming so that I would continue to use the term. It drove your pupil to extreme lengths of frustration."  
  
I chuckled and though well that's another trait I still have, thinking of how I loved to torment Bastila to extreme lengths of frustration, how I wished she was here. I fought off my feelings of sadness then wondered what the relationship between Malak and I had been before we had been corrupted by the dark side. I simply didn't bother to torment people I didn't like, it was an odd sign of affection but there it was. This indicated that even as the Dark Lord I had retained some type of feelings for Malak otherwise I would not have bothered to reprogram HK to continue to use the term. This line of thinking made me uncomfortable and I said "So.. Malak was the original meatbag? I like that idea."  
  
HK replied "Of course you do, master. You did then as well."  
  
It was risky but I really didn't want to be on Korriban without either Juhani or Jolee with me. Jolee volunteered saying that he had a few ideas about how to escape notice. Besides he was not light or dark and thus if anyone though he was force sensitive they would not think Jedi. My other choice of companion was HK, no one questioned a droid and HK's sense of humor would not stand out on Korriban. It should even help us blend in. Carth argued that he needed to go look for Dustil but in no uncertain terms I told him that he would get us and himself killed storming around looking for his son. Any Dark Jedi would be able to read his intentions. He finally had to agree and I told him we would find Dustil and then arrange for a safe meeting if possible, or sneak him to where he could meet Dustil.  
  
As we walked into the Czerka station we walked upon a young man in Sith uniform with three cowering figures in front of him. Apparently they thought they wanted into the Sith Academy, I looked at the three and shook my head, wondering why he was tormenting them. There was no way they would survive as Sith's, they wouldn't make Jedi's either. I listen to him tell them "Mercy is a weakness. If your leader shows weakness, it is your duty to kill him and show true authority... true power. That is why the Sith are strong. Bah! I can't be bothered with fools! Perhaps... I should... hmm.. "  
  
He turned and saw me and said "You! Jedi! You're looking to get into the academy are you not? Of course you are... why else would you be here?" I remained silent and waited. He shifted and continued "Le me pose a question to you. These hopefuls will never survive in the academy. A lesson must be taught, here, but I am at a loss as to what form it should take."  
  
Jolee spoke up from behind me saying "Well, if you can't think of anything cruel you really shouldn't be out here, young man, should you?" I had to keep my face straight but a small snort of laughter escaped.  
  
The young Sith looked aggravated and said "I wasn't talking to you!" He continued "I'm thinking to spare them the effort of being killed and do it myself. Perhaps I shall turn their skin inside out? Or Force Lightening? It is a most impressive display. Or perhaps a bit of humiliation is in order? I could easily strip off their tunics and make them run through the colony. Or they could lose all control of their bodily functions... What do you think? I can't seem to decide."  
  
I looked at the now terrified prospective students and wondered if the lesson had hopefully already been taught, I thought it had. They were no longer interested in doing anything but escaping. I said "Let them go. That's my decision."  
  
He said "Let them go? And what could possibly convince me to do that?"  
  
I said in a bored tone "Because I'll kill you if you don't" and waited for him to make up his mind staring at him coldly.  
  
He blinked and said "Oh? My, but that's rather intrepid of you! I don't think I've had someone stand up to me like that in ages! You see, boys? This is the kind of backbone you need if you ever want a hope of becoming a Sith. Now get out of my sight." With that he quickly decided to get out of my sight as well, he might have played it out like I was merely standing up to him but he and I had known that I was deadly earnest.  
  
We had only made it half way though the area when we were held up by three young Sith apprentices bored and looking for trouble. Their leader was a young blond woman who said to us "Look here, my dear friends. We have some newcomers to the colony... led by a Jedi no less. I don't believe I've seen any of them before have you?"  
  
Jolee barked "Well, if you had seen us before, we wouldn't be newcomers, would we?"  
  
She laughed and said "Smart-mouthed newcomers, to boot."  
  
One of them said "Looks pretty fresh to me, Lashowe." Ah I thought that's the blonde's name.  
  
Lashowe said "That's what I thought. Well stranger... I don't know whether you're aware of this or not, but here on Korriban the Sith do as they please. And we are Sith. Quite literally, whether you live or die depends on our whim. What do you think of that, hmm?"  
  
I looked at them and shrugged and said "You can try to kill me. You'd fail, but you can try."  
  
HK delighted said "That's the way to tell the meatbags, master! Charging weapons, just in case. This should be fun!" I smiled a predatory smile in response and waited to see if they would decide I might be a bigger predator than they had though.  
  
Lashowe stared at us as if we were insane and said "Those are very brave words for such an insignificant person. Do you not realize how many Sith are here in Dreshdae?"  
  
Jolee said "Twelve? No wait, Thirteen!"  
  
I chuckled and one of the other students flushed and said "Let me kill this one, Lashowe! Let me do it!" For just a moment I answered back to the sirens call of the dark side and let it rise about me and noticed how suddenly the three young Sith's seemed to rapidly loose interest in starting a confrontation. I let it flow away and sternly mastered my desire to use it to blast the three in front of me. I was not going to give into the temptation, even if I was tempting the fates by calling the power to me.  
  
Lashowe said "Now, now, let's not be hasty. Perhaps our friend here could offer up some amusement. What do you say? Amuse us. Make us laugh, and we just might consider allowing you to live."  
  
I was not in the mood to be accommodating and said "I'm not looking for trouble, but I'm not here to amuse you."  
  
Lashowe blinked and said "Oh? I see. We'll just have to see about that, won't we?" Another of the apprentices laughed and said "Looks like this one's not afraid of you at all, Lashowe."  
  
Lashowe tried to get them to back her up but they refused one of them saying "Yeah, this one's got some backbone, at least. Let's go." She said back to me "Fine. I'll deal with you later." as she left.  
  
We followed the hallway to its end and stepped out onto the surface of Korriban; I looked out and knew that I had been here before. There was something that I liked about this planet, yes the sadness of it the winds moaned a constant plaintive lament as they wound around the rocky desert landscape that found a match in my feelings. I wondered if I had been sad when I was here before, something within me suggested that perhaps I had been. I shrugged and looked to the Sith Academy entrance and began to walk toward it. Through the Academy was the Valley of the Dark Lords and there I knew I would find the final Star Map. My dream the night before we had landed had elicited further memories and I remembered the Map had been in a tomb.  
  
There was a strange talbu around the front of the entrance, a Sith apprentice sat watching three men, there was the dead body of a Twi'lek lying beside them. The men were standing there with expressions of agony and I wondered what they were doing. A guard stood rigidly at attention at the entrance and I walked up to him. The guard was curt but told me that only student's and Sith could enter the Academy, Master Yuthura made the final decisions on who was accepted into the academy and he told me she was currently at the cantina if I wished to seek her out.  
  
I paused on the way back to ask one of the men what they were doing. I stared at them when I finally got the story out of one of them, the Sith apprentice had told them to stand here without food, water or sleep and when he felt one of them was worthy he would support their attempt to get into the academy. And they had believed him; one of them had already died. I wondered for a heartless second if I should just let them die so they wouldn't pass on their genes but I recognized that as the dark side talking to me, or maybe it wasn't, but I couldn't just let them stand there and starve to death if I could do something.  
  
I went over to ask Mekel why he was doing this and he said "A Sith is not a bantha, all endurance and no brains. A Sith would fight for his life, no matter what the odds. If these rotgrubs are as stupid as they seem, then they deserve their fate!" He decided it was a good time to go to the cantina to get some food and drink and think of these fools as he gorged himself.  
  
I waited till he was in the station and then looked at the three men and decided what to do. I talked to each of them and outright lied to them I told them that Mekel had said they would never make it into the Academy and that they should just go home. I added a touch of persuasion to my words and managed to get two of them to decide that perhaps this was not where they should be. Jolee asked me if I had saved them or crushed their dreams and I replied both, but perhaps they really needed to think of a new dream.  
  
He just looked at me and I turned to make my way back to the cantina. There was a Twi'lek woman in the back that drew my eye, I walked toward her and stopped in front of her. Both of us taking each others measure. She said "Is there something you need, Jedi? Make it good, for I have little patience."  
  
I asked her "Who are you?"  
  
She stared at me startled and said "Who am I? You must not have been on Korriban for very long. Either that or you have been feeling your way about blindly. Luckily for you, I am in a charitable mood. I am Yuthura Ban, second only to Master Uthar of the Sith academy here in Dreshdae. I am the one who decides which few of the many hopefuls who travel here to train actually become a Sith. Why? Is it your desire to enter the academy? is that why you are here?"  
  
I looked at her and said "Why would I want to join the Sith?"  
  
She chuckled and said "An interesting question and not one I hear often. For most the benefits of becoming a Sith are quite obvious. We wield ultimate power, my friend. To be a Sith is to taste freedom and to know victory. Nothing is as glorious as bending the Force to your will." I know I had an odd look on my face but I quickly told my wayward thoughts to take a cold shower and suppressed the image that her words had brought up.  
  
I replied "A lot of the hopefuls here end up dead. That doesn't seem glorious."  
  
She said "We make no apologies for the weak. If you cannot clench your fist and know when the moment comes to strike, there is no place for you among us. Of those who come to train, those who are weak return home. If they are both weak and foolish, they die... but it was their choice to come."  
  
I said "And what about the Jedi?"  
  
She said "Hide bound relics who burden themselves with tradition and with the protection of the weak and ungrateful. They are pitiful and misguided. Why would you take a gift as glorious as the Force and squander it? Weaken yourself deliberately and shackle yourself to outdated mores? Our gift has made us superior. It is our rightful place to rule. How can any deny that? Yet the Jedi do so... and call us 'evil' because we do not.  
  
I asked curious now "You don't consider yourself evil?" I could tell that my questions interested her I guess she rarely had applicants who wanted her to talk them into joining the Academy.  
  
She replied "Is the sarkath beast who dominates his jungle evil? The tuk'ata that leaps on the squellbug for the kill? These are the things of nature, of the universe. We are no different from this. The Force is part of the universe, part of the same laws. We were gifted to set us above the rest... to deny nature is foolish." I wondered if this had been my downfall the belief that my gift made me innately superior to and thus entitled to rule over the galaxy. I knew I was prideful in my abilities but I really didn't feel the need to shackle myself with the galaxy, at least not anymore.  
  
I said "I see. About joining you..."  
  
Yuthura chuckled and said "You've heard enough, have you? So what is it to be? Are you here to be a Sith or not?"  
  
I said "yes. I want to join the Sith."  
  
She nodded and said "Ahhh, so you are just another hopeful after all. Or are you? There is something odd about you that I cannot place... Obviously you are a Jedi. One who is very strong in the Force, it seems. So were you a part of the order for very long? Did they train you?"  
  
I replied with a chuckle "I have forgotten most of my training, it seems." I could tell she was trying to figure out what I meant by this.  
  
She said "What an odd thing to say... and even stranger, I do not sense any deception within you. You are a curious puzzle, human, a puzzle with great power. With that kind of power you could become a great Sith. Perhaps... if I let you. Does that interest you?"  
  
I chuckled at the question and replied "Again? I suppose that would interest me, yes."  
  
She looked at me and said "Hmm. A strange response, indeed. Is your mind maladjusted in some way? You should make for an interesting pupil indeed."  
  
I heard Jolee muffle a snicker at the last comment of hers and I had to agree, maladjusted, yep that probably described me to a T these days. Yuthura Ban asked me about my companions and I told her they were my slaves.  
  
Jolee said "My hearing's not so good. I'm just pleased my nice master doesn't beat me so much anymore, yes sir." I almost lost it at that and Yuthura stared at me and told me that my slaves were my responsibility and I was to make sure they didn't cause any trouble or disturb my training. I nodded and she asked if I was ready to go to the Academy. I nodded and we walked into the Academy to meet the Master of the Academy.  
  
Uthar Wynn was the Master of the Academy and he asked Yuthura "Who do you bring before me, Yuthura? A young human, bristling with the Force?" Yuthura introduced me and Uthar asked me what I knew of the Sith and I responded noncommittally saying that the Sith were powerful, and a force to be reckoned with.  
  
Uthar said it was a diplomatic answer, if not the core of the matter. Uthar said "We however, do not treat the Force as a burden. We treat it as a gift, a thing to be celebrated. We use it to acquire power over others... and why should we not? Because the Jedi say we should not? We are as the Force is meant to be. The Jedi would hide that from you... they would tell you the dark side is too quick, too easy, all so they need never challenge the passions that lie within them. Joining with us means realizing your true potential. It means not stifling yourself solely for the sake of hide-bound shamans and their antiquated notion of order. Be what you were meant to be."  
  
I was starting to see why the Sith got so many Jedi converts it must be very alluring after years of being brought up with a list of don't to suddenly be told that you have permission to do whatever you want, and that those who were telling you no where just trying to stifle you from your true rights. Throw into the mix the general rebelliousness of a young twenty something and you have a very potent recruiting message.  
  
When Uthar asked me if I was ready to join the Academy I answered "I am ready to learn more."  
  
He looked at me and said "Are you? I can see into your heart, young human, and I see the dark kernel that is there. If it is ready to sprout remains to be seen." Uthar finished saying "Welcome to the dark side, my children... your one chance at true greatness lies here."  
  
With that we were told where our quarters were and we were left to our own devices, I decided to explore some and came across Yuthura apparently looking for me. She greeted me saying "Ah, there you are... my favorite prospect for the year." I looked at her questioningly and she told me that she was sure that I would be the one chosen to join the Sith and she had an opportunity for me. She went on to describe the final test how I would walk the same path that Revan and Malak had taken to find the Star Map on Korriban. I smiled to myself and thought well then all I need to do is gain prestige and they will lead me to where I need to go. She wanted me to assist her in changing the academy's leadership while Uthar was alone with us in the tomb.  
  
I commented "Pupil against Master, sounds familiar." She nodded and said "And so it should. It is central to our beliefs. It is my responsibility to replace my master when I am strong enough." I nodded and agreed to her plan. Then asked about the Code, Uthar had said the first to learn it would gain prestige.  
  
"Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength Through strength, I gain power Through power, I gain victory Through victory, my chains are broken The Force shall free me.  
  
I asked her to explain the words to me.  
  
Peace is a lie, there is only passion. She said that it was our passion that fueled the force not peace. Conflict that improved the lot of civilization and single being both. I though about what she said and agreed that a certain amount of conflict did force change, growth and evolution. But the Sith were not the vehicle of that, they exceed the level of conflict necessary for growth and actually became a force for stagnation since change might mean they would lose power.  
  
Through passion, I gain strength. She said that strong dark emotions fueled our power with the Force these passions empowered us. I asked "What about love?" She looked at me and said "Love is more dangerous than all those things. Love leads to anger and hatred more often than not... but it also leads to mercy, which is far worse. That however is a lesson for another time." Interesting I thought they seem as afraid of love as the Jedi.  
  
Through strength, I gain power. She said that the stronger I became in the Force the more power I would achieve.  
  
Through power, I gain victory. She said victory was only achieved by demonstrating that your power is superior. Anything less was only an illusion.  
  
Through victory, my chains are broken. She said the chains represented our restrictions, and the goal of any Sith was to free one's self from such restrictions.  
  
The force shall free me. She said that the force was our servant and master, our teacher and companion, a weapon and a tool. If you mastered the force you would master the universe.  
  
I listened to her words and realized how hollow they were to me, she was correct in one way. If you followed the Sith code you would achieve power over the universe, the power of life and death of those you dominated. I had followed that path, I had held that power and I was sure I had reveled in it. But I knew that it had not filled me, I had still been left wanting. For the power I had was not the power over what I wanted. Amusing I would have had the known universe in the palm of my hand as my plaything, I had no doubt that I would have won by now had I not been distracted by Bastila. Yet the universe could not give me what I wanted, it had no power over Bastila's heart. Only she could give that to me, and it had to be given from her own free will.  
  
I realized that I had been standing there thinking and Yuthura was staring at me trying to discern where my thoughts had gone. I apologized and told her I had been thinking over the words of the Code and I would see if I was the first to understand it well enough for Uthar. With that I politely bowed and went to find Uthar. I could feel her eyes on me but she had not found out anything for I could still feel her puzzlement behind me. I remained an interesting puzzle to her and I was amused, hopefully one that she would not figure out until it was too late.  
  
Amazingly I was the first to have an understanding of the Code complete enough to gain prestige. I bowed to Uthar and went back to exploring the Academy.  
  
There was one of my fellow students that kept drawing my attention and I went over to talk to him. He introduced himself as Kel Agwain and I managed to persuade him to talk to me about what was bothering him. He said that this was where he thought he had belonged but now that he was here he had many doubts. I told him that if it didn't feel right then perhaps he didn't belong. He asked where he would go then, what would he do? I asked him if he had thought about the Jedi. He paused and concerned and admitted he hadn't thought about it much, but maybe he should seek it out and give it a try. He thanked me and I cautioned him to be cautious in how he left and to not mention to anyone where he was going till he got well away from here. He nodded sobered and I told him to go to Corsucant.  
  
I paused to meditate on what to do next and try and discern my path and the answer that came surprised me but I followed it though I felt uncomfortable with the apparent betrayal of Yuthura. I told Uthar of Yuthura's plan and he thanked me and told me that he had already decided to remove her. He had planned on having the winner of the test of this year fight Yuthura and kill her. He gave me a poison pad to give to someone named Adrenas to put poison in her bath so that she would be an easy target. He also granted me more prestige.  
  
I now understood why I had been guided this way, Jolee was watching me and I gave him a slight smile and waggled the pad at him and after wandering around a bit went back to Yuthura and told her of Uthar's plot. She stared at me when I frankly told her that I had told Uthar of her plan and then I showed her the poison pad he had given me. She took it and looked at me and I looked gravely back at her and then she thanked me for bringing her the information. She gave me a device to use to poison Uthar and a passcard to Uthar's quarters and told me to use it to place the device in his bed. Then he would be too weak to stand up to the two of us. I nodded and took the device and passcard and wandered off. I still wasn't sure why I needed the two things but I was certain that the Force would let me know in due time.  
  
I was able to find Dustil but he wasn't pleased to hear his father's name at all. I decided I would have to take the risk and bring Carth in. We waited till Uthar left the Academy for his evening meal and then walked back into the Academy with Carth. It was a very angry family reunion. Dustil was very angry at his father and how his father had never been around when Dustil needed him because he had been off fighting.  
  
Carth apologized to Dustil and told him that he had been fighting for Dustil's freedom for his future, the Sith fight to conquer, to rule the helpless. He begged Dustil to not add to his failure by becoming part of something evil. Something finally got through to Dustil and he agreed that if we could bring him proof of how evil the Sith were he would think about what we had said. Carth was despondent wondering where we would find information like that when I pulled out the passcard and said "Master Uthar's quarters perhaps?"  
  
We went through Uthar's quarters carefully and found a datapad that recorded something interesting. Carth found it and he showed it to me saying "Take a look at this. I wonder if Dustil knows his friend was disposed of like that. If not, it might convince Dustil that what we're saying about the Sith is true. It would be worth a shot."  
  
I looked at the datapad and knew this was what we had been looking for. Carth asked me how I had known and I told him that I saw the connections between the people and things, and the path to take to move from one connection to another connection though sometimes I didn't know why the connection was important at the time. I had to wait till I got there usually to find out.  
  
We returned to Dustil and showed him the datapad; it recorded the killing of Selene so that she would not hold Dustil back. It was obvious that Dustil had loved Selene and the news of how she died hit him hard. Dustil said that he couldn't leave yet that he had some people that he needed to talk to first and he was going to look for information to take to the Republic. He said that he would try to meet up with his father on Telos later and they would talk and see if maybe they could get back to where they should have been.  
  
Dustil left and Carth thanked me for my help but he was dismayed by how full of hate and anger his son had become. I could sense that Carth had come to terms with me being Revan, and that he no longer feared that I was going to turn into some type of foaming Sith Lord at any moment. We snuck him back out of the Academy and I breathed a sigh of relief when he got back on the Ebon Hawk safely.  
  
I went back to the academy and in the morning got up and tried to do my calisthenics but there was not enough room. I decided to go out into the Valley and see if there was a suitable place I could find to do my morning workout. There were several handy outcroppings of rocks that were bathed in the morning sunlight and I sprang to the top of one and began my morning workout. It was a challenging routine that blended stretches with strength development. At the same time it was meditative and I often mixed the two together. With HK and Jolee watching out from below, I wasn't worried about much being able to sneak up on me so I stripped to my workout suit which I was wearing under my robes and began my routine. I was aware of several watchers, but they quickly returned to their work ignoring the strange apprentice.  
  
In two hours Jolee's grumbling was starting to break my concentration and I dive rolled to land before him picking up my robe and getting a drink of water. We returned to the Academy for me to wash and eat something then we decided to go exploring the strange cavern we had walked past on the way to the Valley. The cave was inhabited by many Shyrak flyers and Tuk'ata's and we fought many of them as we were exploring it. I could sense the presence of some evil beast deeper in the cavern and this was actually what I was working my way towards. I knew it was a terentatek like the one we had faced on Kashyyyk. We approached the beast and prepared for a difficult fight. In less time than I had expected Jolene, HK and I had brought the foul creature down and I used my force powers to push the body down a deep chasm.  
  
My attention was drawn for some reason to skeletal remains where the creature had been lairing. A Jedi robe was laying covered with dust and a datapad was still stuck in its pocket. I pulled out the datapad and read the journal of Duran Que-Droma. He had been certain that he and Shaela could defeat one terentatek without Guun's help but apparently he had been wrong. I had felt the life forces of a few others hiding out in the caverns, and after the beast was dead we wandered toward them. As I had suspected they were the students that had refused to obey Master Uthar and that he wanted killed.  
  
The woman introduced herself as Thalia May and said that they had refused to murder a bunch of people on a whim of Master Uthar's. They had thought they wanted to be Sith but they had found out that wasn't true. Now all they wanted was to get out of here, I offered to help and she was skeptical but said that there was a way out of the cavern but it was blocked by a large creature, if we could kill it they could escape.  
  
I told her the terentatek was already dead and the way clear. She was startled and thanked us, saying that she hadn't expected any help from anyone in the Academy. She said "Maybe... maybe the Jedi will accept us. I've seen how evil the dark side is. Maybe I could try. At any rate, thank you again. You've saved our lives." I smiled at her and wished them luck. I wondered what the Jedi on Corsucant would think when all these ex Sith apprentices started showing up asking to be accepted. I smirked and wished I could be there to watch.  
  
We had returned to the Academy and I sought out Yuthura for conversation.  
  
I asked her about herself and she said "About myself? I am originally from Sleheyron, if you must know. I was a slave to a cruel master. Omeesh the Hutt. I am sure you don't need to know more." I told her that I had heard of Sleheyron and asked her more about it. She looked at me and said "I did. I also said that you didn't need to know more. Why are you asking?"  
  
I told her "I just would like to know more about you, that's all."  
  
She looked at me and then shrugged and said "I... see. Very well. I suppose there's no harm in the tale. As I said, I was originally a slave to one of the Hutts. The Hutts control everything on Sleheyron, and a slave is nothing to them. I was determined not to be a 'nothing'. One knight when the drunken worm had me alone in his chambers I stabbed him and escaped the compound. I stole onto a cargo ship and was not discovered by the crew until they reached the next system. They left me for dead on a desolate planetoid, alone... but that was fine by me. I was glad to be anywhere other than Sleheyron. It was not luck that I was eventually rescued, of course. The Force was strong with me, though I didn't know that at the time. Not until the Jedi told me, that is."  
  
I said "The Jedi found you? What happened?"  
  
Yuthura looked sad and said "I'd... rather not discuss it. Perhaps another time." I nodded and told her I would go exploring the tombs and see what I could find to gain prestige.  
  
We decided to explore the tomb of Marka Ragnos, the Sith Student at the entrance told us that there was an insane assassin droid inside and it had a small army of droids protecting it. I asked her where it had gotten them and she said she thought it was building them. We entered the tomb and went through the droids in short order, I had learned well on Manaan and the skill of using the Force to destroy the droids came easily to me.  
  
We worked our way up the long rising hallway and opened the door at the end. The assassin droid was within and said something about too much audio input and called upon other droids to destroy the source of the disturbance. Once again I called upon the Force to destroy the droids and I noticed how like this power was like Force Lightening in a way. I tried to determine what was different and realized that while Force Lightening was specifically drawn from the dark side to kill other living things, the power to kill droids was drawn from the light side and not hurt any creature. They were polar opposites in the Force from each other.  
  
We returned to the Academy and told Uthar that the rogue assassin droid had been destroyed. Uthar said I had gained prestige but I had not gained enough prestige to secure my place as the winner yet. Out of curiosity, I asked Uthar what his suggestion was to gain prestige.  
  
He looked at me and said "It is no more complicated than I said. Perform impressive deeds or bring me a suitably valuable artifact from the Valley of the Dark Lords.  
  
HK spoke up and brought me one of those truly priceless moments he said "We could begin by slaughtering the inhabitants of this building, master. Would that be impressive?"  
  
Uthar looked at the droid and at me and I kept my face still except for an inquisitive look at Uthar and he said "Really, however, you should seek out Yuthura and get her advice. She is your trainer, after all, yes?"  
  
I bowed to him and said "I'll be on my way." I think Uthar was still staring after us as we disappeared and it was all I could do not to break out in gales of laughter. I grabbed HK after we were out of sight and gave it a hug and we proceeded on to see Yuthura, Jolee and I chuckling the entire way. I had already gotten the impression that several of the students thought we were insane and took care to stay out of our way. I was sure that HK's comment would make its way around the building as well.  
  
Yuthura congratulated me and said that I almost had enough prestige to be declared the victor and I thanked her. I asked her casually how she had become a Sith and she looked uneasy and said "I... would prefer not to discuss that."  
  
I looked at her and said "I'd really like to hear the tale."  
  
She snapped at me "Why? There is no point. Have I asked you about your past?"  
  
I said softly "I just thought we could become friends..."  
  
She stared at me then shook her head and said "I see... You certainly have odd notions for one hoping to become a Sith. I will play along... for now. Let's see... after escaping from Sleheyron I was found by the Jedi. They took me in and trained me even though I was a bit older than most Padawans."  
  
I said "You were a Jedi?"  
  
She shook her head and said "Not really no. I never progressed beyond Padawan. I had discipline, but no peace... and after my treatment at the hands of the Hutts there was little room in me for the ways of the Jedi. I wanted to use the Force to free the other slaves I knew, to fight for what I knew was right. The Jedi restrained me until I couldn't stand it any more. They claim the dark side is evil, but that isn't so. Sometimes anger and hatred are deserved and right. Sometimes thing change because of it."  
  
I asked her "But has anything changed?"  
  
Yuthura said "No... not yet. But my anger has not diminished, nor my desire to see change. The more time I spend with the Sith the more I am certain that one day I will be able to fight as I must. I know this may sound strange, but only my compassion stands in my way, now. Once that is gone let the slavers beware."  
  
I caught her eyes and asked her "But... if you lose your compassion, will you still care about those slaves?"  
  
She paused then dropped her eyes and said "I... yes of course. I mean losing my compassion as in... holding back... But enough of that. I've talked about myself too much; surely you are tired of it."  
  
She looked at me uncertainly and I smiled at her and said "It's probably time for me to get to bed; I'll explore the remaining tombs tomorrow.  
  
Yuthura seemed reassured and said "Good luck... my friend." I nodded and gave her a clasp on the shoulder before leaving. I knew she was uneasy with what she had revealed to me and I was reassuring her that it would go no further. 


	23. Korriban Part 2

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own.

* * *

In the morning I made my way back out to the rock I had used the day before and I began my workout. I became aware of Yuthura watching me, she seldom left the Academy I had heard but I gather the tale of yesterday's workout had reached her ears. I reminded myself of my mediation and went back to my workout. She was still there when I finished and when I sprang down from the rock and dried off I could see her staring at my tattoo. Thankfully the motto was obscured by my trunks.  
  
She said "Greetings my friend." and chuckled softly and commented "I do rather enjoy saying that."  
  
I smiled back at her and said "Good morning my friend, how are you today?" She commented on the beautiful work on my back and I thanked her. She mentioned that I was amazingly fit to be able to do such a long workout and I told her I did my best to go through it everyday.  
  
She then asked me what my plans for the day were and I pointed to a tomb that had been calling to me ever since I had arrived on this planet. She looked at me and I could see worry in her eyes, she told me that no student had ever returned from exploring the tomb. It was rumored that Revan had entered and exited the tomb but she did not know the truth of that.  
  
I asked if she had known Revan, and she said no she had never meet her though she had heard that she was very powerful woman, very charismatic. She finished "In the end, Revan was outshone by her pupil. Such is the way of the Sith. Why is this dead woman of importance to you?"  
  
I said "So except for the fact that Revan is dead, you wouldn't recognize Revan if the two of you met."  
  
I knew it was an odd statement but Yuthura shrugged and said "Is there any reason I should. Beside the fact that I did not know Revan in life, Revan was known for wearing a full helmet and cape. Perhaps Revan's body had been disfigured by the power of the Force... it is not unheard of. Regardless, I doubt I shall be meeting Revan anytime soon."  
  
I nodded and agreed that was unlikely given the fact that Revan was dead.  
  
I started off toward the tomb and Yuthura said "Why does it call to you?" I answered her "I don't know, but now I want to find out what Revan found." I had dressed during our conversation and I drank some water and swallowed a food capsule. I motioned for Jolee and HK to come out of the shade and we entered the tomb.  
  
There were a few Tuk'ata at the beginning of the tomb but we quickly came to and area with a walkway across it. There was an obelisk of theragen blocking the way and I motioned Jolee and HK back while I placed a fragmentation grenade in the in one of the crevices. When the grenade went off the pillar exploded, then the assault droids across the way activated and started firing at us. Using the Force it was but a moments work to destroy all of them. The way was clear to the tomb of Ajunta Pall. This was the source of the sense of sadness and regret I sensed about the planet and I was drawn to it. We entered the tomb and I opened the sarcophagus revealing the withered remains of Ajunta Pall.  
  
Suddenly his spirit arose from the dead body and said "Too long... too long in the cold and the dark. I am disturbed again? A human...A.... Jedi? Here? Why have you come to this dark place, Jedi? Why... disturb my sleepless rest?"  
  
I looked at the spirit and asked "I was here once before, I think. Do you remember me?"  
  
Ajunta Pall looked at and in me and said "I do... and yet I do not. The Force is so strong within you human... yet the face, the soul... it has been so very long..."  
  
His pain and remorse drew me, it so matched the pain and remorse in my own heart. I said "Are you... Ajunta Pall?"  
  
The spirit said "I... had a name, once. Ajunta Pall. Yes, that was my name. I was one of many. We were servants of the dark side... Sith Lords we called ourselves, so proud. In the end we were not so proud. We hid... hid from those we had betrayed. We fell and I knew it would be so..."  
  
I asked him "What do you mean by those we had betrayed?" The spirit answered "Our Jedi Masters. Those who had taught us to use the Force... who warned us against the dark side. Yet we embraced it in secret, reveled in its power. We were discovered... or did we act? I can no longer remember. But here is where we came... to hide, to grow. And here we fell.  
  
I asked him "How did you fall? What happened?"  
  
The Spirit looked at me and said "We hid from the Jedi, but it was not they who destroyed us... Is it not obvious what we did? We destroyed each other. We desired the secrets of each other, in increase our power... we battled until finally our fortress rained down on top of us. And so here our old secret is buried and none of us hold it anymore... is that not right? Our power fled. Oh, what became of us? Do... do the Sith still thrive? Did they ever return?"  
  
I answered "They returned, and endanger us all... and the light side must battle them." The Spirit said "So much... so much time has passed. And yet we have learned nothing... nothing..." I asked him "Why do you remain here?"  
  
He replied "Remain? Do I remain? I have regretted for so long all that I have done. My sword I filled it with my pride. And it is buried with me now. A corpse as I am a corpse. I am dead, as my faith... is dead. I shall remain here... surrounded by blackness in death as in life."  
  
I looked at him and said "So alike, both of us, regretting the past and the things that cannot be undone. I feel sorry for you."  
  
The Spirit looked at me and said "Most of my brethren would desire only to take what power I have left. Even if it would destroy them. I wish my sword to be taken away from here. I do not wish it to rot away as I have. I command this of you."  
  
I asked "What do you want me to do with it?" The Spirit said "If you are wise, you will not keep it. In the end it is what destroyed me. There are three blades within my sarcophagus. Only one is truly my sword, but it has been so long I do not remember which. Find the sword that is mine and place it on the statue. If it is truly mine then it is yours."  
  
I asked "And if the sword isn't yours?"  
  
"Then you must die. This is how it must be." said the Spirit of Ajunta Pall.  
  
I said "How will I know which sword it is?"  
  
Ajunta Pall replied "I do remember one thing of my sword. Listen to me carefully. I am that which grips the heart in fright, hearkens night and silences the light. It was written of my sword long... long ago. Go then... find my sword and place it on the statue."  
  
I walked over to the sarcophagus and picked up the three swords and went over to the statue and placed one of the swords within its grasp. I knew which sword it was his I could feel his pride within it.  
  
I returned to the Spirit and he said "Yes that is the one. That is the blade that destroyed me. Take it and the other blades, even take them and go. My darkness awaits me..."  
  
I looked at him and reached out impulsively to him and said "There's no need to remain here, is there?"  
  
He looked at my hand and at me and said "No need? What choice have I?"  
  
I said in a harsh voice "The same one I have, You can return to the light side and end your torment."  
  
I felt the touch of the Spirit on my extended hand and he said "Return? But I betrayed my old masters. They would never let me return to the light side it is too late... too late."  
  
I felt his lack of hope his lack of forgiveness for himself and they were so familiar. We both were our own obstacles to returning to the light. I realized however I knew that he could return to the light, the answer was there in front of me. I could see the connection from the Ajunta Pall to where he needed to be to return to the light. I saw the path and I said "I don't believe the light side would turn you away. You have suffered long enough."  
  
I could sense the Spirit searching me and feeling my belief in what I said and Ajunta Pall said "If... if I could return. Oh my Master... it has been... so long... and I regret so much..." I could feel him returning to the light and it was an indescribable experience.  
  
He faded and I kneeled and covered my face and wept. I cried this time not for Bastila but for myself. Jolee came over and sat beside me while I mourned all that I had thrown away, all that I had lost, all that I had destroyed. I mourned the loss of Jedi Revan and the things I had done as Lord Revan. I cried myself out and lay on the floor of the tomb silent. Memories flashed in front of my eyes. I saw a vision of myself following a much younger Bastila on Dantooine, hiding from her but watching over her. I saw the karth hounds; I saw the battle, the kiss. The fear in her eyes and the rejection the words that had broken my heart. How young I had been to not see how much I had frightened her, how foolishly I had responded dealing pain for pain. The flight to war trying to escape the pain of seeing her everyday.  
  
Another memory followed this time a light in the darkness a feeling of being loved and cared for that I had believed to be my mother. Now I was able to place it in its proper place in time and realized that the woman holding me could not be my mother. The only one it could be was Bastila. The light in the darkness grew in my vision until it was all that I could see it encompassed me, within the brightness love shone purely. Bastila loved me; the truth of it had always been there for me to see. That love had been my strength when I thought I could not go on. My warmth in the cold, dark and rain. My comfort when I was in pain.  
  
I slowly sat up and stared into the light that filled the chamber and realized that Bastila had already forgiven me for everything I had done in my past. I just needed to forgive myself just a little, just enough to let myself hope. I had shown Ajunta Pall the path to the light; I had to believe there was one there for me as well if I was willing to travel it. But Bastila... Bastila... I had the deep feeling that I would see the mark of the dark side on Bastila when I saw her next. I would have to hope that I could see the way for her.  
  
I stood up and felt Jolee staring at me searchingly seeing that I had passed a certain turning point. I took out my flask and washed my face and shook the dust out of my robe. And looked at the both of them. I had no idea how much time had passed but it was time to return. I felt curiously empty and at ease with myself. Still though my task was not over and I took care to shield my thoughts and emotions as we walked back up toward the Valley of the Dark Lords. I felt him before I saw him Shaardan. I knew what he wanted. I gave him plenty of time to think about his choices but in the end I was not surprised when he attacked me. He looked surprised when he died and I sighed and walked past his body and out of the tomb.  
  
The Sith student whom I has spoken to earlier saw me and what was in my hand and exclaimed that I had the sword. I could see Yuthura emerge from the shadows a look of relief on her face. I suspected she might be more than just relieved to see that I had the sword and was still alive to assist her in her plan.  
  
She walked up as the student, Galon Lor, asked me how I had acquired it. I said "I got it from Ajunta himself, if you must know."  
  
They both stared at me and Galon said "Are you joking with me? The Sith Lord still lives?"  
  
I said "No, not exactly" I could see they both realized what I was saying and Galon went on about how interesting it was and how he must be off to tell his mentor.  
  
Yuthura looked at me searchingly and then at the tomb and I said "Look for him there no longer, he remains no more in darkness." She stared at me probably wondering what I could mean but I said no more about him instead I said "Let us walk out of this shadow into the light and enjoy the warmth of the sun." I was still speaking in metaphor and I was getting looks from both Jolee and Yuthura. But they followed me out into the sunlight and I lifted my face to the sun and enjoyed its warmth. I listened to the sound of the wind and I no longer heard a lamenting cry upon it, instead it sang to me. I heard them shift and I asked "Do you hear the song of the wind?" I looked at them and Jolee was just stared at me and listened, Yuthura looked baffled.  
  
I shrugged and said that it was probably time to take Uthar Ajunta's sword. We walked back to the Academy and Yuthura hung back while I gave Uthar the sword of Ajunta Pall.  
  
Uthar said "Well done! You have impressed me greatly! You have impressed me enough, by my estimation, to become a Sith in full. Congratulations, young one... you have bested the others quite completely. You have but one final test which you must take, and this requires us to travel to the tomb of Naga Sadow in the Valley of the Dark Lords. I would advise you to be rested and equipped before we leave. Return to your quarters now and seek me in the morning. When you return, make sure that you have all that you will need... for you will face your test alone. Go, and may the Force serve you well."  
  
In the morning I went as instructed to meet with Uthar, I was more than ready to get this over with. Uthar and Yuthura accompanied me; the two verbally sparred and talked about schemes failing. I ignored them and waited for my instructions, I was to follow in my own footsteps and find the Star Map and a lightsaber then return with them. When Uthar asked if I understood I repeated my instructions and then turned to begin my journey into the tomb. An acid pool blocked my direct path to the Star Map and I knew I could jump over it but this was not what I was supposed to do I knew.  
  
I backtracked and took one of the side corridors, I could feel the presence of two terentatek's and I walked cautiously into the room at then end of the corridor and stayed well back from them. I was powerful but two of the beasts would surely kill me. I thought I saw a way to fight them separately and I thought of the rakghoul baiting I had done on Taris. It worked, I was able to creep just close enough to one of them to lure it away from the other and fight it well back from the other beast. Even then it was a difficult fight and I paused to heal before attacking the second beast. The second beast came deadly close to killing me it was old and strong and cunning and only a lucky duck by me kept my head on my shoulders. I took the time to heal my self fully and explored the room they had been lairing in.  
  
I found the skeleton of the last of the three Jedi that had been sent to Korriban in the Great Hunt. I read her journal and wept inside for her, Duran's death and her own despair had pushed her into attacking the two beasts together. Apparently one of the beasts I had killed probably the older one had ambushed them in the Shyrak caves and had killed Duran. Whether she went seeking revenge or her own death I could not tell but I suspected it was both. I could understand her choice, if Bastila were to die would I feel like going on? Or would I too seek out my own death? I did not know the answer.  
  
In the room beyond there were two pillars one contained an ice grenade, one a fire grenade, I left the fire grenade and picked up the ice grenade and proceeded back to the acid pool. There I used the grenade to freeze the pool and proceeded over it to the Star Map. This map was not incomplete and with the data from all four maps the route to an unknown planet was shown and the Star Forge orbited around it. I grabbed the lightsaber and headed back the way I had come. Uthar and Yuthura were waiting standing on the frozen pool of acid for me.  
  
Uthar said "So you return to us with the lightsaber in hand, as I knew you would. You took a great risk in acquiring the artifact. You used your mind and your power... no peaceful meditation, no pacifism. Sometimes you must fight in order to achieve. This gives you your passion, this makes you stronger. This is what makes you superior. That is the lesson we teach with that part of the final test. Do you understand?  
  
I said "The Sith are not the only ones who fight and take risks."  
  
Uthar replied "True, but most would say they fight only when they must... or not at all. We are the ones who know that struggle is what makes us superior.  
  
I asked "Are you saying a Jedi couldn't have gotten the lightsaber?"  
  
Uthar said "When a Jedi acts, it is with skill, true. But the Jedi teach you that your passions are counter-productive. That strength is only found in peace. Did you not feel a moment of excitement in the tomb? Did your passions not flow and make you feel stronger and more alive? What purpose would be served by restricting yourself from such? I would say only the purpose of the Jedi. Through this they would control you and restrict your potential.  
  
I stated "I don't believe you. I don't feel superior to anyone."  
  
Uthar said "If you came to the academy, you must have felt the stirrings within you that cry out for the freedom of the dark side that cry out for release. I can only show you the path that will lead to power and superiority. You have followed it this far... you must decide if you are capable of continuing."  
  
I asked "And if I'm not?"  
  
Uthar said sternly "This is where you path ends, young one. There is no turning back once you have embarked on it."  
  
I nodded and said "I think I understand."  
  
Uthar started speaking of competition and how all life must compete in order to survive, how it was the natural order of things. One comment caught my attention "So it behooves you in this final test to strike down one you are familiar with, for no other reason than to prove you are superior and without mercy."  
  
I blinked at the statement, realizing that Malak would send Bastila against me to kill me. I had known this somewhere inside myself, but now I knew that this was part of the final testing of any Sith.  
  
I pulled my attention back to Uthar and Yuthura for Uthar was telling me I would be fighting Yuthura instead of another student.  
  
I said to Uthar "Sorry, Uthar... I'm with Yuthura on this one."  
  
Uthar said "So the time has come has it? You both wish to stand against a Sith Master and perish, do you?" I waited for him to attack and sprang to Yuthura's defense, his words were empty threat though, for he was not nearly as good as the thought he was, it was not long before he lay dead at my feet. I waited for Yuthura to make her decision.  
  
Yuthura said "Uthar is finished, and a new order is brought to the academy. Excellent. While I do like you... truly... I'm afraid I'm not the type to share power with anyone. Even you."  
  
I had been expecting this and I asked her "Are you sure there's no way other than this?"  
  
She paused then said "I... I'm sure. I told you there was no such thing as friends among the Sith, didn't I. Let's... get this over with." With that she attacked me but I could tell her heart wasn't in it. I did my best to be careful and I was beginning to be afraid that she was going to force me to kill her when she cried "Unggh! Stop! I yield!" I pulled away from her and watched her with anxious eyes.  
  
She slumped over holding a deep wound on her side and said "You are... too strong for me. I was a fool to think otherwise. I am... at your mercy."  
  
I smiled at her and said "You ask for mercy? You a Sith?"  
  
She looked at me and smiled then grimaced in pain and said "I... suppose I am. Something tells me that you are... not like the other students. I don't know why that is. I... was right the first time, back at the cantina, wasn't I? There is something different about you... more so than I expected."  
  
I paused silent and did not answer at first but walked over and laid a hand against her wound and healed her. She straightened and looked up at me for I was slightly taller than she. I nodded and said "Indeed, I am Revan." Yuthura looked at me searchingly and I dropped the tight control on my thoughts.  
  
Yuthura said "I see. I should have known... right from the beginning. But you are no longer the Dark Lord you once were are you? You are Revan... but yet you are not. What I sense of your destiny is... is still unclear. So what happens now? Will you show me mercy? Will you... just let me leave?"  
  
I looked at her and said "You could come with me."  
  
She looked at me startled and the shook her head and said "That's... tempting, but I don't think I could. Your path... it goes somewhere I can't follow." I nodded accepting her answer but glad I had made the offer  
  
I said "Maybe you need to think about your own path."  
  
Yuthura said "I... suppose you could be right. All the things I wanted to do, all the wrongs I wanted to right... I haven't done any of it. They just get farther and farther from my mind. All I've cared about is power and... and myself. This isn't the person I was."  
  
I smiled at her and said "There's still time to change that."  
  
She nodded and said "You're right. Maybe... maybe what I needed most was peace, after all. The Jedi tried to show me that. I don't know if I can ever go back to them... but my place isn't here. Thank you... thank you for showing me that. You have a destiny, my friend, and I wish you well on your way to it. May the Force... be with you."  
  
I walked with her up the hallway then stopped her and asked her if she would answer some questions for me. She stopped and nodded and I asked her "Is love possible at all among Sith?" I suspected I knew the answer but I needed to hear it confirmed.  
  
Yuthura said "Love or lust? Lust yes, love, no I would say not. The very nature of it is against all that is Sith. Remember I said that all I have cared about is power and myself?" I nodded. Yuthura continued "Love is caring for another as much or more than you care about yourself I think; it cannot exist in one who embraces the dark side it goes directly against all that the dark side represents. The dark side would demand that you killed what was holding you back from reaching your true potential. It would demand that you kill that which you loved. Like it demanded that I kill my compassion."  
  
That confirmed what I had suspected, how had I managed to maintain my love for Bastila as Revan? Suddenly memories returned how I had come to blame the Jedi for Bastila's rejection. How I had been determined to wipe those who opposed my will from the face of the universe. I would grip the universe in an iron fist and no one would deny me what I wanted. Not even Bastila, my plans for her were clear to me, how I had planned on bending her mind and making her my slave. I would never let her become my apprentice for that would mean that she would eventually move to kill me, no the only way Revan could see to have Bastila was to take her will to resist me away.  
  
I was sickened by what I had planned, but then I recalled that when I had saw Bastila on the bridge I had faced the fact that I did not want to force Bastila to submit to my will, I wanted her to love me to come to me of her own will. In a very essential way I had turned my back on the dark side even then. If Malak had not intervened it would not have taken the Jedi long to realize that I had no desire to kill them, and they would have persuaded me to return.  
  
I recalled where I was and realized that I had slumped against the wall and that Yuthura was supporting me and looking at me anxiously. She could have killed me if she had wanted to but she had not. Yuthura asked me wonderingly "Who is this woman that you cherish so much? That could make you forsake all your power just for the hope that she might love you in return?"  
  
I straightened and said "Jedi Bastila Shan, I think I have loved her all my life. Certainly from the first moment I saw her and realized she was a child no longer." I had most of my memories now; thankfully my four years as a Sith Lord were hazy in their details. "When Malak fired on my ship I was able to protect her with my powers, but I was mortally wounded. Bastila kept me alive but my mind was badly damaged.  
  
I forgot everything, I was a clean slate for them and they gave me a new identity believing that I would never be able to wield the Force again. I went some type of choosing process and they made up an identity for me as a newly trained officer of the Republic Fleet. I was offered the chance to train for Covert Operations and after a year I succeeded and became part of a Covert Operations Squad.  
  
However, the Jedi were wrong in assuming I would not be able to wield the Force again. They had kept watch on me, not surprisingly, and it was not long before they noticed I was Force sensitive again." I paused and looked at her, she nodded and I continued "They had me reassigned to Bastila's command where they could better keep an eye on me." I paused and grinned thinking of how unsettling that change must have been to the Jedi.  
  
Yuthura chuckled and said "They must have been in as near a panic as a Jedi could be, fearing that you would remember being a Dark Lord of the Sith at any moment."  
  
I nodded and said "Then Bandon's fleet attacked us and we were forced to escape to Taris. Bastila was captured and Carth Onasi and I managed to eventually free her and escape Taris as Malak was destroying it. She talked us into going to Dantooine and there I had the first of my visions of the Star Map's. Bastila and I have a bond in the Force, we always have, and she shared my vision and reported it to the Council."  
  
Yuthura asked "What did they do?"  
  
I said "They argued I believe, a lot. Finally Master Vandar and Master Zhar won out over Master Vrook's objections. It must have been hard for him, now I remember that Master Vrook was my master, and seeing me must have been a shock to him. I was trained as a Jedi again, my pace of learning was amazing. I wonder now that it did not occur to me that it was too fast. I was merely relearning lessons that I already knew. But, I did not think of that.  
  
Maybe was for the best that I only started questioning things when we had found half of the Star Maps. It was an interesting time, Bastila and I constantly battling over our feelings for one another. She was determined to resist me, but the bond made it obvious to both of us what our feelings were for each other.  
  
As time went on and we were together longer I could tell that she was falling in love with me. Now I know how difficult it must have been for her, why she seemed so conflicted every time we came close to admitting our feelings. Why she would immediately retreat and try and pretend that she didn't love me. They had ordered her not to tell me I was Revan or reveal it to me in any way, and of course there were her own fears that love would lead us both to the dark side.  
  
Admiral Saul intercepted our ship and captured us after we left Manaan and tortured us to try and get information about our mission but he failed. I had deactivated HK's main power supply before we were captured and after the Sith left the ship he activated himself and was able to free us. We were almost to our ship when Malak arrived as well and we met on the hangar deck.  
  
Seeing him triggered my memory and I started to remember that I had been Revan. I was still rather confused though; all I got were bits and pieces of memory. Enough to remember that the coward had used the Jedi as a distraction and then fired on my ship. He challenged me to a confrontation, master and apprentice and I accepted.  
  
It was probably not the wisest decision I have made. I was really not in the best shape to try and fight him at that particular time. But I was able to hold my own against him and was pressing the attack when I got another flash of memory. He managed to paralyze me while I was distracted, and he might have been able to kill me." I paused in my narrative and tried to think what to say next.  
  
Yuthura had been silent listening to me and now she shifted and asked "Were you angry at Bastila when you found out the secret she had been keeping from you?"  
  
I nodded and said "Some yes, but I have been obligated to keep secrets myself and I had a greater respect as Catherine for following orders than I ever had as Revan. I had known that she felt guilty about something. The returning memories made it clear what it had been, besides she had saved my life when I expected nothing but loathing from her. It was not that hard to forgive her for her silence, especially when she made it clear that she had not wanted to keep me in the dark." I sighed and continued my tale.  
  
"Bastila caught up with us in time to see him paralyze me and she threw her lightsaber at him to distract him from attacking me. He saw the opportunity to capture her and took it. He closed a blast door and jammed it to stop me, and took her away to his ship. That was... five days ago. He's had five days no to turn her to the dark side, and as much as I would wish it not to be I know he will be able to. She has too much repressed anger and fear for her to be able to resist, and she will not be able to control it, not with the drugs and pain. I should know, after all I'm the bastard who taught him how to break Jedi." The last was said harshly.  
  
I knew that Malak would be able to break Bastila, it would not even be that hard but it would take patience. I suspected that he would manage to take the time for the prize she would be, even though he was not patient. He had been once though I remembered, but not after the dark side had corrupted him.  
  
I turned and told Yuthura "Thank you for listening to me, and thank you for the wisdom you shared with me. I was confused about my path when I came to Korriban. But because of Adjuna Pall and you, my path has become clear. My love for Bastila brought me out of the darkness, and it is clear to me that love can only wither and die there, lost in the destructive nature of the dark side. Love can only exist in the light where it can flourish and grow."  
  
Yuthura looked at me confused and asked "My words helped you? How could I help you when you just turned me from the dark side?"  
  
I looked at her and replied "You made my path clear to me, I had not faced the fact that love cannot exist in the dark side. You forced me to face that with your words, and brought back my memory of Revan being faced with the same knowledge. Now I know not to make the choice that I did before."  
  
I could tell that Yuthura was surprised by my words and then pleased that she had helped me even as I had helped her. She asked "What happened in Ajunta Pall's tomb, you were so strange when you returned, I had sensed the conflict within you when I first saw you in the cantina. But I dismissed it as the conflict in anyone when deciding to follow the dark side. I realize now what I was seeing, the conflict between you and your past as Revan".  
  
She stared at me and then said "You are not the same person who came to Korriban, you have changed once again. I wonder that I did not see it before this. Something happened in Ajunta Pall's tomb to bring peace between your past as Revan and who you are now."  
  
I nodded and told her about Ajunta's words, about the regret that he had for his deeds and his self imposed suffering. How he had been unable to forgive himself and how that had prevented him from seeing that the light would not reject him. How I recognized that Ajunta and I were so alike in our problems. I had been unwilling to forgive myself for falling, unwilling to forgive any of the actions I had done.  
  
Ajunta caused me to recognize that I needed to forgive myself. I found it so easy to extend the same forgiveness to others but I was withholding that same compassion from Revan, from myself. In seeing the path he needed to take, in feeling him return to the light I had been able to forgive myself for falling to the dark. I had finally grieved for my loss of innocence, both as Catherine finding out my true past, and as Revan for falling to the dark side.  
  
I told her that I had recovered most of my memories back afterward, and how I had recognized that the memory I had thought was of my mother was actually one of Bastila holding me and keeping me alive after my injury.  
  
I sighed and fell silent thinking of the journey I had taken here on Korriban. Yuthura asked me "Why have you told me all of this? Not that I am not honored with your trust but I feel there is a reason you have told me this."  
  
I looked at her and nodded and said "I ask that you go to Coruscant, to the Jedi Temple there and let them know everything I have told you. Let them know that though Revan has returned, that I am resolved to follow the path of the light. Let them know that Bastila has been captured and I will go to rescue her."  
  
Yuthura nodded then something dawned on her "You were the source of the disturbance in the force! You were the one who challenged Malak!"  
  
I blushed and nodded and admitted that I hadn't really meant to be quite as loud as I had. I asked "Did everyone really feel that?"  
  
Yuthura said "Some of the students didn't sense it but the teacher, Uthar and I felt it. It caused quite a stir in the Sith, for some unknown Force adept to challenge Malak directly that way." She paused and I could tell she was considering something "That explains why Malak did not send anyone here to stop you, though it would have been an obvious choice. He could not, not after the way he attacked Revan, for him to avoid another direct confrontation with an opponent would have weakened him in the eyes of the Sith."  
  
Yuthura said "We will not be welcome in the Academy, but that is the way we must go for me to find transportation to Coruscant. We should head back before they send someone looking. Maybe we can bluff our way past but I doubt we can. They will be able to tell I am not Sith anymore. I can still fight if needed, but I do not dare touch the Force right now without being tempted to use my dark powers."  
  
I nodded in understanding and we walked out of the temple and toward the Academy. The students were more interested in their digging than us and barely gave us a glance as we walked past them. At the academy entrance though three Sith apprentices waited for Master Uthar and the newest Sith apprentice; which of course was supposed to have been me. They took one look at the both of us and could tell something was not the way it was supposed to be.  
  
I tried to talk the three of them out of attacking us but the woman in charge of them only thought of how she would become the new master of the Sith Academy if the two of us were dead. It was a brief fight as Yuthura and I were much more skilled than they.  
  
We entered the Academy and were instantly attacked as the teachers there realized that we were enemies. Thankfully Jolee and HK had been waiting at the entrance and we fought together protecting each other sides and back. It was a long fight, and I took the fore as the strongest fighter. Thankfully my skill was up to the challenge and after a long and difficult fight we stood at the entrance to the Academy. The Academy was quiet behind us since we had ended up killing all of the teachers and guards, and most of the students. Some of them had fled and were hiding somewhere and I hoped they would reconsider their choice.  
  
We exited the Academy and the guard at the entrance tried to kill me but I deflected his blade and killed him. We crossed to the Czerka Compound and walked through boldly, no one paid attention to us and we were able to enter the Ebon Hawk without any further incident. I introduced Yuthura to everyone and told them that I needed to find her transport to Coruscant. Carth spoke up and told me that his friend who had told him about Dustil was here and that he thought the man could be trusted to get her safely there. I agreed, and we went to find him.  
  
Carth asked around and we located the man's ship, for a fee he agreed that he could pick up a shipment that day for Coruscant and transport a passenger there as well. I could detect no duplicity in him and I specifically asked him if he would promise me that he would deliver his passenger safely to Coruscant. He agreed and I could tell that he was no threat to Yuthura.  
  
We saw her safely to his ship and watched it depart, I hoped she would not have any difficulties getting to Coruscant and into see the Jedi Council there.  
  
We returned to the Ebon Hawk and I meditated on what path I should take now. The path I saw surprised me, a stop at one of Davik's hyperspace coordinates would increase our chances of success at the Star Forge. It took some argument with the others but as the coordinates were not out of the way Carth finally agreed. The coordinates were for an old Republic station above Yavin 4. We entered the station only to find five Trandoshan's threatening a Rhodian. We interrupted them and asked what they were doing here and they promptly began attacking us. The fight was short as everyone had gotten off the Ebon Hawk except for HK to explore.  
  
The Rhodian introduced himself as Suvam Tan and said that he scavenged items from Yavin 4 from the ruins of the Exar Kun battle. He repaired them and was even able to improve on them, out of thanks for our intervention he said that he was willing to bring out what he had for sale.  
  
His inventory amazed us, everyone was able to find something, whether it was armor or weapons. I was drawn to two unusual focus crystals he had in his inventory. They radiated with Force energy, and were of unusual structure. I asked Suvam about them and he was able to tell me of their history. One was a force crystal he had found on the ruins below, he said that it was old and was called Heart of the Guardian. I had heard of this crystal when I was studying the Jedi histories and I picked it up awed. It was supposed to have been instrumental in the founding of the Jedi Order itself. The other focus crystal had been made by Suvam from pieces he had found of several focus crystals. I bought both focus crystals and the other purchases everyone wanted as well. It was a good thing that we had as many credits as we did for we spent quite a lot of our credits there.  
  
We went back to the ship and I began working on my lightsaber's. I put the Heart of the Guardian in my lightsaber along with the Solari crystal I had found in Shaela Nurr's remains, and the Krayt Dragon Pearl. In my short lightsaber I put the Mantle of the Force along with Jenruax and Sigil force crystals. I also made sure that Jolee and Juhani's lightsabers were upgraded.  
  
Everyone agreed that it had been a good thing to do to stop there, almost everyone had found something for themselves in Suvam's stock and we were much more effective now than we had been before stopping there.  
  
Yuthura arrived on Coruscant and immediately placed a call to the Jedi Temple asking whether or not any of the Masters had survived the Sith attack on Dantooine. She was informed that Masters Vandar and Zhar had survived the attack and were at the Jedi Temple. Yuthura asked that Master Vandar be notified that Yuthura Ban once a Padawan at Dantooine requested an audience with him. The young Padawan answering her call hesitated noticing the past tense and then asked her to wait while she checked to see if Master Vandar was available.  
  
It was not long before the Padawan came back on and told her that an escort had been sent to bring her to the Jedi Temple. Yuthura thanked her and waited for her escort to arrive. Shortly several Jedi Knights arrived in a hovercraft to take her to the Temple. She could tell they were curious and probably knew that she had been a Master at the Sith Academy but they asked her no questions and only requested her lightsaber.  
  
She had already destroyed the Sith focus crystal and with a shrug surrendered the empty hilt. The Jedi Knight she handed it to looked at it and then looked at her searchingly and gave her a small bow and thanked her. They were all intensely curious she could tell, it had to be obvious to them that she had left the Sith and no longer walked the dark path. They were all wondering what had happened to cause one who had traveled so far down the dark path to return to the light.  
  
Yuthura was escorted to see Master Vandar and then left alone with him. She knew him from her time at the Jedi Enclave and was surprised at how happy she felt to see him alive. She bowed to him and said "I bear messages from Revan for the Jedi Council."  
  
She could see Master Vandar's eyes open wide for a fraction of a second and then he said "So her memories have returned, and yet you are here and walk in the darkness no more. Revan is the cause of this?"  
  
Yuthura told him of how Revan had come as Catherine to Korriban and she had accepted her for Sith training. How Catherine had used that to gain entrance to the last Star Map and of the final battle where Catherine had revealed herself as Revan and persuaded her to leave the darkside.  
  
Master Vandar asked her if she had seen Bastila and Yuthura replied "The woman Revan loves? No I did not see her she has been captured by Malak and Revan goes to rescue her."  
  
Master Vandar stood still and thought and then said that he must call the Council to hear this, this was grave news that Bastila had been captured.  
  
It was a few hours before all the Masters could be gathered, but as soon as they were in place Yuthura was escorted in to the Council chamber and asked to relate all she knew. She began with her first sight of Catherine, how she had been impressed with the power evident in the woman even though the answers she gave to her questions were odd. The Masters stirred and then quieted.  
  
Yuthura continued telling how Catherine had retrieved several artifacts from the tombs of the Sith Lords. How Catherine had persuaded her to tell her of how Yuthura had become a Sith. How she had caused her to question whether or not she was on the right path to help those enslaved.  
  
She related how strange Catherine had been after she had returned from the tomb of Ajunta Pall. Master Vandar commented that the Master's had felt Ajunta Pall return to the light and become one with the Force. Yuthura nodded and continued her tale, telling them how Catherine had gained enough prestige to be chosen as to become a Sith. She told of how Catherine had went through the tomb quicker than any other prospective Sith, surprising her and Uthar when she showed up with her Sith lightsaber.  
  
She finished by telling of how she and Catherine had defeated Uthar and then how she had attempted to kill Catherine only to realize that she could not defeat her and she had surrendered and asked for mercy. Then Catherine made her realize that she had betrayed herself and her ideals by becoming a Sith. She had become consumed with gaining power and had come to forget the people she has sworn she was going to help.  
  
Then she told of how Catherine had revealed herself as Revan.  
  
The Masters stirred and muttered to each other at this and Yuthura waited until they were silent again before she related the tale Revan had told her. How they had confronted Malak aboard the Leviathan, and Catherine had remembered she was Revan. How Malak had been able to capture Bastila and escape with her.  
  
She related how Revan had been overcome with the last of her returning memories as they were speaking and how she had felt Revan's love for Bastila. She paused and remembered and then told how Revan had left the path of darkness before Malak had attacked her on the bridge of her ship, and that it had been her love for Bastila that had made it possible.  
  
She told them how Revan had told her to tell them of what she had learned from Ajunta Pall and from Yuthura, and that Revan had said that she would not return to the darkside. There was nothing the darkside could give her that she desired, because love could not be found there.  
  
Yuthura was silent and waited to see if the Masters had any questions for her. They asked her several questions about what Revan said had occurred in Ajunta Pall's tomb, and about the memories she had experienced of Revan's. Then they asked her to wait in a side chamber while they discussed what she had related to them.  
  
The Masters discussed what Yuthura had told them, several arguing that the love between them showed how right they were to forbid Jedi to love. Several arguing how it showed the opposite, that if love could redeem Revan then maybe they had been wrong. The one thing they all came to agree on was that the bond between them had existed before Bastila had saved Revan's life. Revan had stated that she had become aware of it years before she had acted upon the attraction she had felt for Bastila.  
  
Those who suggested that the bond be broken if possible were met with resistance, Masters Vandar and Zhar were adamant that the bond was the will of the Force, and that they would likely cripple if not kill both Bastila and Revan if they tried to sever it.  
  
They were questioned about this and Master Vandar related how the bond was not the bond that existed between Master and apprentice. This bond was one with their life forces, he had discerned that when Bastila had first brought Revan to them. She had kept Revan alive by sharing her own life Force, something that was thought impossible. But it was not between these two because the bond was part of their life Force.  
  
The Council was silent at this revelation; such a deep bond had never been heard of before. They questioned Master Vandar and Master Zhar more and the focus of the discussion shifted from the bond itself to what the presence of the bond meant and what was the will of the Force for Bastila and Revan.  
  
They were interrupted by the news that Carth Onasi had sent the coordinates of the system where the Star Forge was located to the Republic Fleet and Admiral Dodonna was requesting that Jedi go with the strike force to attack. 


	24. Unknown Planet

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own.

* * *

We entered the Star Forge system and Carth sent the coordinates to the Republic Fleet, he wanted to remain outside of the Sith Fleet's sensor range and wait for the Republic Fleet to show up. I didn't feel at ease with that decision but at that moment we were spotted by Sith fighters and I had to run to the gun turrets to destroy them before they could report our presence to the Sith Fleet. During our escape maneuvering we came close to one of the planets in the Star Forge system and the ship started to shake.  
  
Carth exclaimed to me "We've got problems! We've flown into some kind of disruptor field. All of my instruments are jammed! We've got massive overloads in all systems. I'm picking up a single planet in this system. I'll try and put us down there. Hold on, this may be a rough landing."  
  
The landing was rough but the ship was still in once piece, from what I had seen when we were landing other ships hadn't been as lucky. The landscape was littered with the hulls of many crashed ships. Carth reported that the ship's stabilizers had been damaged by the disruptor field; hopefully we could salvage something from one of the crashed ships to repair it.  
  
Also, we needed to find the source of the disruptor field before the Republic Fleet arrived and encountered it. It would be a short battle for the Sith if the Fleet arrived and the disruptor field was still active. T3 was picking up massive power fluctuations on the ship's sensors coming from some type temple looking structure to the east; it seemed a likely source for the disruptor field.  
  
We exited the ship with our two missions in mind, find repair parts and find a way to disable the disruptor field. Juhani and HK went with me to scout out the stone structure to the east while Carth and Canderous went to find salvage. Misson and Zaalbar remained to guard the ship. It left us spread thin but we needed to hurry.  
  
As we stepped out onto the beach where we had landed I knew that I had been here before, but the memory was hazy. I was certain though that the temple to the east was very important. Beyond knowing that and the landscape seeming very familiar I had no further memory. I realized that I remembered less of my life as Revan than I had realized, at least of the time I had fallen to the dark side. My memories of the Jedi Academy seemed very clear to me but that clearness faded sometime after I left the Academy for the Mandalorian Wars. I remembered some of my thoughts and feelings while I was Dark Lord, and I remembered the feel of the dark side powers.  
  
We continued up the beach only to be spotted by some amphibian looking natives who quickly attacked us yelling war cries. We killed them and two Duros who had been hiding among the rocks came out and thanked us. The Duros were part of a mining crew who had wrecked here a few weeks ago. They were the only two survivors left on this island, the natives and Mandalorians had killed the rest. They told us the Mandalorians were based around the temple, and we should beware them.  
  
I offered them refuge on the Ebon Hawk but they said that they were going to try their luck on another island.  
  
We continued toward the temple structure and ran into more natives, this time with young rancors that they had apparently tamed. When the last of them had been killed I wiped the sweat from my face and was thankful that we had stopped by the Yavin 4 station. The fight would have been a lot harder without the new weapons we had purchased there.  
  
We could see several apparently wild rancors that lived around the base of the temple and we cautiously lured each of them away and killed them, pausing after each battle to heal. As we approached the south side of the temple I became aware of several unseen presences. The Mandalorians I thought to myself. I activated my energy shield and Juhani and HK took their cue from me and activated theirs as well.  
  
As we approached an obelisk I sensed the Mandalorians surround us and then decloak. We must have seemed and easy target, two Jedi and a droid. But we were anything but an easy target, the fight was brief and it was not long before all the Mandalorians lay dead in the grass.  
  
We walked up toward the temple but an energy shield at the entrance barred us from entering. I decided to explore further and see if we could find some natives that would not attack us on sight. As we explored further we found a disabled ship that looked like it might have the parts we needed. I risked calling Carth and Canderous and told them where the ship was located and warned them to watch out for plasma vents around the ship. They assured me they would be careful and were headed toward the ship.  
  
Juhani, HK and I continued exploring. On the beach opposite where we had crashed we found a compound protected by an energy field. We approached cautiously and were greeted by a hologram. I knew the language thought I did not know what the language was called. The hologram said "You are not Rakata... What is your business here off-worlder?" I told the hologram that I was seeking the Star Forge and it recognized me as Revan and said that the Elders wanted to speak with me. I thought for a moment then nodded, knowing who I had been before I wasn't certain what type of reception we would receive.  
  
It was obvious that the Rakata that spoke to us recognized me but hard as I tried I had no memory of ever meeting him. He introduced himself as the Elder Councilor and asked why after I had betrayed them I returned now. I told him that I did not remember him and he said something about how I had promised to destroy the ancient evils of their ancestors. I told him that my mind had been injured and I no longer remembered many things, including ever meeting him.  
  
He paused and I could sense his confusion, but he said that he could sense something different about me. Yet I still wielded the Force and I could still help them if they dared trust me again. He said that I must be confused and that he would answer my questions so that I would understand. I asked when I had been here before and he said that I and Malak had crashed here three years ago; I had used the Force to draw their language from their minds and teach them Basic. They had helped me enter the Temple of the Ancients and then I had disappeared until now.  
  
I asked what the Temple of the Ancients was and if it was the source of the disruptor field. He told us that it was but only those who could command the Force could enter the temple. I asked him about the Rakata and he told me the Elders were the last of the priest caste of the Infinite Empire. The warriors who had attacked us were descendants of the warrior caste and lived in another compound and were lead by a powerful warrior known as the One.  
  
I was able to persuade them to give me another chance and they agreed that if I would risk my own life to save one of their scouts from the tribe of the One, they would help me enter the Temple again.  
  
They gave me permission to wander around the enclave and I took the opportunity to learn more about the Rakata. In one area I found researchers studying captive tribesmen and asked them why they had prisoners. The researcher was frank in admitting they were studying their genetic code in the hopes of discovering why the Rakata had lost their ability to use the Force. They believed that Force sensitivity still existed in some of the warrior tribes and that if they could find the gene that granted it they might be able to reintroduce the ability back into their species. I was uneasy about what they were doing but I could sense no evil in the researcher and the prisoners appeared well fed and taken care of.  
  
We went further into the compound and spoke with the Historian. He told us of how the Rakata Infinite Empire began, back when their race was the only Force using race in the galaxy and they had merged technology with their Force powers to dominate and enslave. Once they had started losing their Force sensitivity, their Empire had began to crumble and their Empire had collapsed. They had retreated back to their home world but even there they continued to fight, civil war had erupted and weapons of mass destruction had been unleashed. Only those who had went underground for shelter had survived. Only in the past few thousand years had they come back to the surface, and only the Elders remembered their true past. I was reminded of what Ajunta Pall had said of the Sith Lords how they had destroyed themselves.  
  
Carth and Canderous called as we were leaving the compound in search of the tribe of the One and informed us that they had successfully retrieved the parts they needed and were headed back to the Ebon Hawk.  
  
We backtracked some and went to explore the one side of the island we had not been to yet. As I had suspected we found the compound of the One and outside was a welcoming committee. The lead warrior said that we had been seen entering the compound of the Elders and the One had ordered that we were to be killed. After a difficult fight we proceeded cautiously into the compound. Every warrior in the compound attacked us as soon as the saw us and we were forced to battle our way through in our search for the missing Elder scout.  
  
We finally made it to the area where the prisoner was being kept and a large Rakata stared at us then yelled "The Black Rakata will never fall to you!" With that he ordered the rancor keepers to open the gates and we were attacked on all sides. I had everyone switch to melee energy shield and activate them, and I was thankful that we had done so as we were attacked by four rancors, as well as the warrior known as the One.  
  
HK was badly damaged during the attack as three of the rancors decided he was their target but Juhani and I managed to take down all of the rancors before they damaged him beyond repair. Then we turned and fought the One. Once he was dead we searched the area for the Elder scout and found him lying among his dead companions. I used my Force powers to heal him and helped him to his feet.  
  
I said to him "I was sent by the Council to save you."  
  
The scout replied "I don't know what I could have done if you had not come. I suppose I would be dead now, like the others they captured with me. Thank you for saving me. I shall attempt to return to the Enclave on my own. I will tell the Council of what you have done."  
  
I insisted that we escort him safely to the settlement as we were headed that way anyway and he reluctantly accepted our assistance. We meet a few more warriors on our way to the Elder settlement and I was happy that I had insisted the scout stay with us, for he was still none to steady on his feet. Alone he would not have been able to fight the four warriors that tried to ambush us, not to mention the two young rancors that stood on the path just in front of the settlement.  
  
We delivered the scout safely to the Elder settlement and the Elder Councilor was thankful for my actions. They were still uncertain about me though and went to deliberate on what they would now do. They agreed that I would enter the temple but I had to go alone into the temple. They told me that there were dark Jedi in the temple and I grimaced, this would be very difficult to do alone. Maybe if I was cautious I could manage to take them on one at a time and survive to find the controls.  
  
I sent Juhani and HK back to the ship and proceeded to the temple alone. The Elder priests were there and when I approached they began the ritual. They paused as Jolee and Juhani came running up. I asked the two what they were doing there and they said the Force had given them a vision, there was great danger in the Temple and if I faced it alone I would surely fail. I argued with them but they were resolved, finally I persuaded the lead Elder priest that I would fail if I entered the temple alone and he resumed the ritual. As soon as the barrier blocking the entrance feel we sprinted into the Temple.  
  
We fought several dark Jedi and assault droids as we explored the lower floor of the temple. In one room we disturbed two dark Jedi meditating, I waited for them to become aware of us and they stood and stared at me. One of them said "Revan you are back!" I replied "I am Revan but I serve the light now." The dark Jedi said "Malak told us what happened to you. The Jedi Council has stripped you of your power. You are a shell of what you once were! You are not fit to rule the Sith anymore, Revan. Lord Malak will reward us greatly for destroying you!" With that they attacked and I shook my head a few moments later as we stepped over their corpses.  
  
In the next room was a Sith Master who also recognized me and told me that he had intensified his training in the hope that he would have a chance to meet me in combat. I chuckled and waited for him to attack, he was not nearly as good a fighter as he thought though and he fell to my attack quickly.  
  
We finally found our way down to the lower level; a datapad in a chest owned by a forgetful apprentice told us how to make our way past a pattern on the floor so that we could enter the next area. In the next room was the master computer for the temple. The computer recognized me and greeted me by name. It said that it detected significant changes in my composition since the last time it had seen me. My neurological patterns and exhibited subtle and yet substantive alterations in both thought patterns and information processing. It said the changes had now been noted in its database.  
  
I laughed and asked it what its purpose was, it told me that it had been constructed to record the entire history of the Rakata, since the collapse of the Infinite Empire though I had been the only one to seek out its information. I asked it for the genetic data the Rakata researcher had asked for and it stored it on my datapad. Then I asked about the Rakata history, it told us of a plague that had played a significant part in the collapse of the Infinite Empire and then of the civil war that had finally destroyed the Rakata civilization.  
  
I asked it how I could turn off the disruptor field and it told me I would have to ascend to the upper levels and deactivate the field from there. The doors to the upper levels would now recognize me and open. I thank it then paused, I felt a disturbance in the Force. I reached out with my senses and then realized that I was sensing Bastila through the bond. My heart started pounding and I forced myself to calm and figure out what I was sensing. I realized that I could sense nothing of her feeling just that she was near. My heart sank I could only think of one way that she would be able to arrive here, but maybe I was wrong, maybe she had escaped.  
  
As the computer had said the door to the summit opened to us and allowed us to ascend. I ascended with a heavy heart, fearing who I would meet at the summit. As I stepped out into the sunlight I saw her waiting for us, wearing the black robes of a Dark Jedi. I wanted to weep, but I controlled myself and tried to see a way to bring her back to the light.  
  
There was no way that I could see in the immediate future but there seemed to be something that I could do here to increase my chances in the future. I would have to let her retreat to the Star Forge I realized, and there I might have a chance.  
  
Bastila said as we approached "I knew you would come for me. Malak thought you might be afraid to enter the temple again, but he doesn't know you like I do. Not anymore. Not since you've changed." I replied "I swore to you that I would not fail you Bastila, and I shall not."  
  
Bastila paused and looked at me and said "You don't understand. I have sworn allegiance to Lord Malak and the Sith, I do not need rescuing."  
  
I said to her "No, Bastila. Don't go over to the dark side!"  
  
She replied "You say that as if the dark side is some terrible entity. The Jedi Council had brainwashed you like all the others. Like they once did with me. They speak of the dark side as if it was something to be feared. But in reality their only goal is to manipulate those who are strong in the Force. The fear of the dark side is a tool to maintain control. Why do you think the Jedi forbid you and Malak from joining the Mandalorian Wars? They knew you would realize your true potential and break free of their domination. Malak has shown me how the Jedi Council have been using me the same way they once tried to use you. They've been holding me back because they knew one day I would surpass them all."  
  
I listened to her words and tried again to break through the shell of anger "It's not too late Bastila, you can still turn away from the dark side!"  
  
She glared at me and said "I resisted at first. I endured the Sith torments with the passionless serenity of a true Jedi, emptying my mind. But after a week of endless tortures I finally saw the truth. Malak forced me to acknowledge my anger and pain. He showed me the liberating power of these emotions. Then he made me see how the Jedi Council has denied me what is mine by right! The Jedi Council gladly used my Battle Meditation in their wars, but they still treated me like a child – like an inferior. They were jealous of your power... of what I could become! They wanted me to bow and call them Master follow their Code and obey their every order. But all the while they were exploiting my Battle Meditation for their own use!"  
  
I thought to myself, skillfully done Malak just enough truth mixed in with the lies to make it almost believable. I said "Don't be lured in by these Sith lies, Bastila!"  
  
Bastila said "Lies? You are the one living a lie, Revan. The Jedi Council made you into something you are not; they programmed you to be their slave. You used to be Revan, Master of the Sith, but no longer. You are simply a pawn of the Jedi Council and the Republic they serve... like I was until Malak freed me from their shackles! A pity the power you once had is so diluted in you. You could have been strong as I am now... stronger, even. But that will never happen now. With the power of the Star Forge, Malak will destroy the Republic and conquer the galaxy. And I will be the apprentice at his side – after I prove my worth by killing you!"  
  
I set myself for the battle knowing that Bastila was now furious that I had resisted her first efforts to persuade me to join her. She attempted to use her forced powers against me but I resisted all her efforts, after a few hard blows and after I had deflected a few of Juhani's attacks. Juhani and Jolee stopped attacking and let me face Bastila alone. She quit attacking and started her second more earnest attempt to persuade me to go with her.  
  
Bastila said "You are stronger than I would have thought possible, after what the Jedi Council did to you. Seems that Malak was wrong – the power of the dark side is not lost to you after all, Revan."  
  
Sadly I knew that I had to destroy her hope that I would join her and return to the dark side. She had to understand that I would never follow her there; she would have to come back to me. I knew she was not going to be pleased to hear what I had to say; she had persuaded herself that I would chose to follow her. Maybe she even thought that the only way she could be with me was to go to the dark side, after all Master Vrook had told her that to love meant that a Jedi would fall to the dark side. Now she had went to the dark side and I suspected she thought that she could now love, I wondered if she realized yet that the dark side would demand that she destroy any love she felt for me.  
  
I replied "I draw my power from the light now, Bastila."  
  
Bastila said "You can deny what you are; Revan, but you are only fooling yourself. I know the truth. I have seen the shadows inside your mind. Remember I was there when you nearly died in that trap set by the Jedi Council. I used the Force to preserve you life, Revan. We are forever linked by my actions on that bridge!"  
  
I replied to her saying "We were linked before that Bastila, I remember saving your life. The bond has been between us for along time, maybe all our lives. And it is how I know you will come back to the light."  
  
She started in surprise at the evidence I had regained my memories of that event but she recovered and "These are not your true feelings, Revan. You are speaking as a tool of the Jedi Council – as I once did. But now I see how the Jedi used us both! The Council tried to exploit the bond between us. They hoped I would draw out your memories to lead them to the Star Forge. We were slaves to their will – like all who follow the Jedi Code! But in our shared visions of the Star Maps I also felt the so called taint within you. I resisted it at first, but now I embrace the power of the dark side – your dark side!"  
  
I winced in pain at the thought that I had weakened her to the dark side then realized that she had her own reasons for choosing the dark side. While the darkness she saw within me might have played a part in that choice, she was using my guilt to try and persuade me to join her. I said to her "Learn from my mistakes. It is not too late to come back to the light!"  
  
She made her final plea and openly asked me to join her saying "Mistakes? No, Revan – the only mistake you are making is the one you are making now! You deny yourself the power that is yours by right! Only now do I realize how strong you are. You deserve to bet he true Master of the Sith, not Malak. I see this now. Together we can destroy your old apprentice. Join with me and reclaim your lost identity!"  
  
She was offering herself to me now and I admit the thought did cross my mind to play along but I sternly reminded myself that while lust might exist, it was not the only thing I wanted from Bastila.  
  
I told her "I'm not that Revan anymore Bastila, I haven't been that Revan since I first saw you on the bridge of my ship and realized what I truly desired."  
  
She frowned confused and said "Your mind was too badly damaged to ever fully restore your memories, Revan. But your power, your strength of will, the essence of who and what you are: these things still remain! Once long ago you defied the Jedi Council, freeing yourself from their control. You claimed your rightful title of Dark Lord of the Sith. Together we can defeat Malak and take back what is yours!"  
  
I shook my head and said "Turn away from this path, Bastila. The dark side leads only to destruction."  
  
Juhani spoke up saying "Bastila, it is not too late for you to be saved. The teachings of the Jedi can lead you from the dark side back into the light and a true understanding of the Force.  
  
Bastila replied scathingly "You are beneath my contempt, Juhani. When you felt the power of the dark side you fled to a cave like some cowering animal! You know nothing of the Force or its true potential!"  
  
Then Bastila said to me "But you, Revan – the power of the dark side is yours to command! You can use it to destroy Malak! With my help you could rule over the entire galaxy!"  
  
I said to her "The Dark Lord Revan is dead. Only Revan remains, I am a servant of the light now."  
  
I could see her accepting her failure she replied with sudden anger saying "You are a pathetic fool, Revan! Together we could have defeated Malak and ruled over an Empire, but now I will be at Lord Malak's side instead! You will be crushed with the Republic and all the fools who bow down to the Jedi Council! No one can stand against the power of the Star Forge and the Sith fleet!"  
  
I could feel her anger and pain as she ran to her ship and fled to the Star Forge. She had never considered that I would resist her efforts, now she was faced with the fact that I would never go over to the dark side again. I whispered through our bond that was once again open, I will not fail you Bastila, not again and felt her answering surge of anger and fear before the Star Forge and the distance dampened the bond again.  
  
After her ship left I went over to the computer console and shut down the planetary disruptor field and the energy shield that protected the temple. We exited the temple and made our way quickly back to the Ebon Hawk. The entire group was waiting for us and Carth asked "You're back! But where is Bastila? Is she alive? What happened inside that Temple?"  
  
I told them that Bastila had fallen to the dark side and had fled to the Star Forge. Jolee commented that Bastila had always been in danger of being seduced by the dark side; her own impatient and headstrong nature had been the weakness that Malak had exploited. I said that I felt her fall was partially my fault and Jolee agreed that the bond might have played a part but in the end Bastila had chosen her own path...  
  
Carth said "But there's still hope for her right? I mean, Revan rejected the dark side so Bastila could too, right? We still might be able to save her."  
  
I smiled at Carth and said "We can try... and we will." Juhani commented that she was sure that Bastila had a role to play in the events to come and would be waiting for us on the Star Forge. Carth agreed and said that we should get moving before she had time to organize a bigger welcoming committee. 


	25. Star Forge

Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Star Wars KOTOR, George Lucas and Lucas Arts do. They also own all the Characters and Worlds contained therein. The characters created by me for this story are all that I own.

* * *

We all boarded the Ebon Hawk and took off for the Star Forge. I went with Jolee and Juhani to meditate and center myself in the Force for the upcoming effort. Carth came and told us he had spoken to Admiral Dodonna and Master Vandar. I was happy to learn that Master Vandar was still alive and listened to their plan. The Ebon Hawk and several Jedi Knights would dock with the Star Forge and attempt to distract Bastila so the Republic Fleet could destroy the Star Forge. We nodded and trusted in Carth's skills to pilot us safely to the Star Forge.  
  
When we docked I took Juhani and HK with me to see if we could find Bastila, leaving the rest of the group to protect the Ebon Hawk for our retreat. Four Jedi Knights waited for us as we exited and their leader said "You made it! Several Jedi have already gone ahead into the Star Forge. We have to strike while we still have the element of surprise. If we don't stop Bastila from using her Battle Meditation the entire Republic fleet will be wiped out!" As she said that a group of Dark Jedi arrived, though she said for us to leave we paused a moment to assist them and then exited the docking bay.  
  
The walkways were strangely deserted until several assault droids appeared. It was but the work of a moment to use the Force to disable them though. As we continued we encountered more of the assault droids and were easily able to destroy them often before they were even aware of us.  
  
We finally caught up with the force of Jedi Knights that had gone on before us in time to see them cut down by a group of Dark Jedi. The Dark Jedi ran to attack us and the battle began, HK cut one of them down before they ever reached us and the remaining two were no match for Juhani and I. In a surprisingly short amount of time we entered the second level of the Star Forge. It appeared that Malak had finally decided to give up the idea of sending droids and began to throw everyone he could find at us in an attempt to stop us.  
  
The fights through the second level were hectic, with Sith troopers and Dark Jedi coming at us in groups of four and five each. Finally we appeared to have killed all that were willing to come against us and were able to proceed to the Command Center. I had the feeling that Malak was just trying to slow us down and I wondered what he was planning.  
  
I sensed that I was drawing near to Bastila and I could feel her concentrating in her Battle Meditation. Then her concentration was broken and I could feel fear, confusion and turmoil through the bond. I wondered what had happened and then realized she must have been informed that I was on the station. I could think of nothing else that would account for her feelings.  
  
More Sith troopers and Dark Jedi awaited us on the Command Deck but it was not long before I realized that Bastila was in the next room. I calmed myself and opened the door that stood between us.  
  
Bastila got up from where she had been kneeling in her meditation and said "Revan – I knew you would come for me."  
  
I said "I'll never give up on you, Bastila. I know you can still be saved."  
  
Bastila was playing at being a Sith princess and in a haughty voice said "You are wasting your time. I have seen the Jedi for what they are: weak and afraid. The Sith are the true Masters of the Force. You have forgotten that lesson, Revan. Now you must pay the price. Here on the Star Forge the power of the dark side is at it's strongest. This time you will not defeat me!"  
  
I prepared myself for a difficult battle, she was strong in the darkness and I would have to take care not to get myself killed while trying to save her. She tried to use her dark powers against me but as before I was prepared for her attempt and resisted all her efforts. She rushed me then attacking me with her dual bladed lightsaber. She was surprised by how easily I landed a painful gash to her thigh and backed off limping and said "I can't even imagine the power you must have wielded when you were the Dark Lord. You were a fool to give it all up and follow the light side."  
  
I looked at her and said "I am as strong in the light as I ever was following the dark side."  
  
Bastila stared at me and then said "The dark side has made me stronger than I ever was before! I have a greater command of the Force than all but the most powerful Jedi Masters. As Malak teaches me the greatest secrets of the Sith, I will unlock more of my potential. Eventually there will be no limit to what I can accomplish with the Force!"  
  
I rebuked her saying "You will accomplish death and destruction with the dark side, nothing else."  
  
Bastila glared at me and said "Jedi propaganda. The dark side is only a took, and Malak will train me in it's use. Eventually I will surpass my Master and challenge him. If I am worthy he will die by my hand. Then I will take on my own apprentice and the cycle will begin again. This is the way of the Sith, it is how we assure our leaders are always the strongest and most worthy!"  
  
I shook my head sadly and said "You're dooming yourself to an endless cycle of death and betrayal."  
  
Bastila drew on the power of the Star Forge and healed herself and shouted as she attacked again "No, Revan, it is you who are doomed!"  
  
She attacked again and got in a few good blows, but I was able to drive her back and sent her sprawling. We paused again and she said "You are growing weary, I can sense it! Your strength falters; the light side is failing you while the power of the Star Forge re-energizes me! Soon this will all be over!"  
  
I said to her "I have not faltered, Bastila. You have been misled by the dark side."  
  
We fought and I was growing worried that I might accidentally kill her, I had scored deep gashes across her thigh and arm and still she fought on in a frenzy. Finally I wounded her again across her side and she backed off limping and said in a defeated voice "No, this is not possible! You have rejected the dark side; you are a weak and pathetic servant of the light! How can you still stand against me? Why can't I defeat you?"  
  
I said to her gently sensing that this was my chance to persuade her "Now you see the dark side is not stronger than the light."  
  
Bastila "Yes, I see you speak the truth. I am no match for you. Please, for the sake of what we once shared, do not make me suffer. End my life quickly. There is no other way."  
  
I remembered when I had felt the same way, this was a strange reflection of when we had met on a Sith ship once before, only now it was Bastila who felt that she could not return to me. I said to her with all the love I felt for her "I could never kill you, Bastila."  
  
She looked at me and said "What other choice do you have? I have fallen to the dark side; I am the apprentice to the Dark Lord himself. You cannot let me live."  
  
I held out a hand to her and said "You can reject the dark side, Bastila. Return to the light." I know she heard through our bond 'return to me.'  
  
She dropped her eyes and said despairing "No... I'm not strong enough. There is too much anger inside me now. Too much hatred and fear. I can no longer find peace in the Force."  
  
I opened myself to her and as she looked at me wondering at the emotions that sang through the bond to her said "Use our bond, then. Take your strength from me."  
  
She straightened some and said "You... always had more strength than I did. I told you that. I felt so... helpless before your destiny. You were Revan and I couldn't tell you... it was agonizing! Even worse when I began to... feel closer to you. I despised myself for it. And even now I... feel your strength. It... does help me. Thank you, I think I can face the end, now. If you are the one to end it for me."  
  
I took a step closer to her and touched her face and said "I love you, Bastila. I can't abandon you, ever." I gently began to heal her and waited for her reply.  
  
Bastila straightened as I healed her wounds and looked at me wonderingly and said "You... love me? Heh. I... there was a time I yearned for and yet dreaded to hear those words. I loved you, too, but I could never... face who you were. Malak knew how I felt. Any part of the light that was within me would be extinguished when I killed you. But what good is love? It cannot save me from the sea of blackness I am drowning in. I have betrayed everything I ever believed in! How can I atone for that?"  
  
I stepped another step closer to her and said "Help us defeat the Sith, Bastila. This will atone for what you have done."  
  
Bastila said "Yes, I... could join you in your battle against the Dark Lord. That alone would not make up for all I have done, yet... it would be a step in the right direction. But how would you be able to trust me? How do you know I wouldn't turn on you when you faced Lord Malak? How do you know the dark side wouldn't make me betray you again?"  
  
I smiled at her and said "I trust you enough to leave myself open to your attack, Bastila."  
  
She shook her head at me and said "You play a dangerous game. Are you certain you wish to take this risk? I could end your life and gain Malak's favor with a single stroke of my lightsaber."  
  
I looked into her eyes and said "You won't Bastila. Because I love you and I believe in you."  
  
She blinked and I could see she was fighting back tears and she said huskily "You are brave... and some would say foolish. But you are also right. The dark side has not wholly consumed me. I cannot raise my blade against you. You will go on to defeat Malak; of this I have little doubt. You will have gone from being the Sith Lord, to the savior of our galaxy. And... and you said you loved me. This may not be the best time to say it, but... I love you, too. With all my heart."  
  
Relief and joy rushed over me and I said "You aren't afraid to love me anymore?"  
  
She smiled at me and said "After this? No, nothing could make me feel safer than to be loved by you."  
  
With that I could not restrain myself further and in a echo of the past I swept her into my arms and kissed her passionately. This time though she didn't push me away, nor were there any words of anger. Instead she wrapped her arms around me and returned my kiss with just as much passion and love as I was feeling. As Bastila accepted and returned my love the bond between us filled with joyous emotion.  
  
We finally broke apart only to realize that HK and Juhani had entered the room at some point. HK was waiting patiently to be noticed and Juhani was pretending an interest in the walls of the room. I smiled at the both of them and Bastila buried her head in my chest for a moment then straightened and said "You should go. Malak waits. This isn't over yet... for any of us. I should stay here, thought. If we face Malak I am afraid his dark presence will overwhelm me. It would not be wise to expose myself to such temptation."  
  
I frowned and said "Bastila, I want you at my side when I face Malak."  
  
Bastila shook her head and said "I'm sorry, but the risk is too great. I am not wholly free of the dark side's shadow. Not yet. But you are more than a match for the Dark Lord. I understand that now. I will stay here in this chamber and use my Battle Meditation to aid the Republic fleet. I am their only hope of destroying the Star Forge and ending the Sith menace. You must go and face Malak, but you have to hurry. Once I turn the battle in the Republic's favor we won't have much time to escape the Star Forge before it is destroyed.  
  
She stepped back from me and said "Good luck, my love... and may the Force be with you." With that she returned to her meditation and I bent over and kissed the top of her head and asked HK and Juhani to remain with her and make sure she was safe. They agreed and I went in the direction that Bastila had indicated Malak had gone.

* * *

Master Vandar felt a disturbance in the force and realized that something had changed. He looked around him and noticed a difference in the soldiers' attitudes. They no longer looked despondent and hopeless from Bastila's Battle Meditation. Instead they looked more alive every passing second, there was a spring in their step and hope in their eyes.  
  
Master Vandar tried to determine what had changed, it felt like Bastila was now using her Battle Meditation to help the Republic but her Battle Meditation had never had this effect before. The people around him seemed more alive in the Force and there was an undercurrent of.... hope and joy that what was growing in the people around him.  
  
Master Vandar looked at Masters Vierina and Tallok from Corsucant and could tell they were sensing the same thing. He stilled himself and looked at the Living Force that surrounded them and realized what was occurring.  
  
He said to them and Admiral Dodonna "Bastila is aiding us with her Battle Meditation once again." Admiral Dodonna nodded then said "I thought it might be so but I wasn't sure, this doesn't feel like what I remembered. I've been in battles where she aided us before and there wasn't this sense of.... Joy and hope?" She stared puzzled at Master Vandar.  
  
Master Vandar nodded and said "It is the bond between Bastila and Revan you are sensing; it is affecting Bastila's Battle Meditation."  
  
Admiral Dodonna gaped at them and said "But Revan is dead what are you talking about?!"  
  
Master Vierina ignored Admiral Dodonna's question for now, "So it is as you predicted Master Vandar, Revan has found Bastila and through their bond turned her back to the light. They have admitted their love for one another. It is a powerful emotion; I can see how the soldiers around us are affected by it. I can feel the strength of it through her Battle Meditation. Such a thing I have never heard of, or read of, in all our history. I see now, why you said the bond is the will of the Force, and I agree that we should observe only and not try to interfere in any way with the bond. We must determine what the will of the Force had been in all that has occurred as a result of it."  
  
Admiral Dodonna listened to them with astonishment and asked again "Are you saying that Revan is alive?"  
  
Master Vandar looked at her and nodded saying "When the battle is over I will explain everything. But for now, yes, Revan lives and walks in the light once again and goes to fight Malak now on the Star Forge. May the Force be with her."  
  
Admiral Dodonna was one of the flag officers who had accepted the Republics part in the events following the Mandalorian Wars. She had pushed for changes in training and had gotten approved an order stating that the Republic Fleet would never again accept any Jedi assistance when the Jedi Council had not given their permission.  
  
The Jedi Council had been right when they said that something dark awaited them and that only ruin would follow if the Jedi assisted them when the Republic had asked for aid. But the Fleet had ignored their warning and accepted the offered help from Revan and Malak when the two went against the wishes of the Jedi Council and events had unfolded as the Jedi predicted. Revan and Malak had returned as Sith Lords seduced by the dark side and bent on conquering the very galaxy they had saved from the Mandalorian threat.  
  
She shook her head and brought her attention back to the battle. They still had to destroy the Star Forge, and she hoped that the Jedi's on the Star Forge would have time to escape before that happened.

* * *

As I passed through the door to the next section of the Star Forge I noted bins and computer terminals beside them. Curious I went over and accessed one it read 'Accessing Droid Generator, Internal System, Loading Status..... Generator Inactive.' My only option was to log off. I looked at the machinery next to the terminal and deduced that it must be the Droid Generator and the terminal the controls for it.  
  
I shrugged and continued deeper into the section, walking past several different droid generator terminals. Finally I came to the end of the section and a door opened to reveal two Jedi being held by Malak's force powers. He turned and killed them and then said to me "I tire of this game, Revan. You have been a thorn in my side from the moment I seized the mantle of Dark Lord from your feeble grasp! You made a mistake coming here, Revan. The Star Forge fuels my command of the dark side. You are no match for me here. And this time you will not escape!"  
  
I fought my feelings of anger at what he had done to Bastila how he had dared to try and interfere with our bond. How he had attempted to get Bastila to kill me and thus endangered her and managed to growl "It's you who can't escape, Malak. Surrender and the Jedi might show you mercy." Instead of telling him I was going to see him dead for his actions.  
  
I continued to fight my feelings, hearing the sirens call of the darkness to strike him down for his actions as he responded to me saying "Is that what you call it? You think stripping away your power and your identity was an act of mercy, Revan? I would rather die!"  
  
I realized that I did now consider my loss of memory a mercy; it had allowed me to freely choose a different path and have experiences that made me stronger, more able to resist the dark side. I breathed easier and said calmly. "I was saved from the darkness, Malak. You can be too, if you wish."  
  
Malak glared at me and said "Spoken like a true slave of the Jedi code. Save your preaching, Revan – I will have none of it! You are an insignificant speak beneath my notice. I have surpassed you in every way and accomplished what you never could... I have unleashed the full potential of this Rakatan factory! You had no idea of the power within this place! It's very walls are alive with dark side energies! And now, my old master, I will let the Star Forge itself destroy you!"  
  
With that he shut and locked the blast door between us and I could sense the droid generators activating behind me. What was it with Sith and droids I thought to myself puzzled. Then I realized that the dark side had no direct ability to affect droids and so they saw them as powerful, totally forgetting that the light side had powers that directly affected droids.  
  
I avoided the droids that were generated and instead ran to the computer terminal that was nearest. Using the terminal for protection I sliced into the terminal. Now that the generator was active I had the option to overload the generator. I did so and watched as the generator destroyed itself. Using the Force I leapt over the droids and choose another terminal to slice.  
  
I worked my way around the room using my energy shield to protect myself from the blaster bolts of the droids and ignoring their efforts to attack me except to avoid them. When I thought that I had disabled most of the droid generators I attacked the droids using my force powers and looked to see if I had missed any of the generators. I had missed one and I jumped over the droid that it produced and ran to it's terminal. The droid paused trying to pick me up on its sensors but I had disabled the terminal by then and it stopped attacking.  
  
I shook my head and wondered why Malak had thought that exercise would be challenging. The droids the generators had produced hadn't even been all that threatening. Thank goodness he had thought that would stop me though, I would probably catch him off guard now, as it had only taken me minutes to disable all the droid generators.  
  
I paused and prepared myself to face Malak. I had my emotions under control once again and reminded myself that I had led Malak into this, he had been my friend once and I owed it to him to try and persuade him to return to the light, even though I did not see a path for him in the Force. I opened the door to an elevator and took it to the final level of the Star Forge where I felt Malak waiting.  
  
Malak turned to me as I entered and I detected his surprise.  
  
Malak said "Well done, Revan. I was certain the defenses of the Star Forge would destroy you, but I see there is more of your old self in you than I expected. You are stronger than I though; stronger than you ever were during your reign as the Dark Lord. I did not think that was possible."  
  
I replied "The light side is stronger than you know, Malak."  
  
Malak said "I am tempted to try and capture you alive, Revan. Then I could break your will and bind you to me as my apprentice, as I did with Bastila. You would be a far greater asset to me than even Bastila and her Battle Meditation, if I could control you. But is it worth the risk? Perhaps you are too powerful to be my apprentice. I betrayed you when I realized my own strength was greater than yours; in time you might try to do the same to me."  
  
I shook my head and said "I will never serve the dark side again, Malak."  
  
Malak said "Foolish words. The darkness and the light wage a constant war within you. The balance is tipped one way now, but it can easily be tipped back. Savior, conqueror, hero, villain. You are all things Revan... and yet you are nothing. In the end you belong to neither the light nor the darkness. You will forever stand alone."  
  
I recognized the truth in what he said, it was possible for me to fall to the darkness again, but not while my bond with Bastila existed, not while she loved me. And I did not stand alone, Bastila would be with me, she was with me now through the bond and I could feel her love for me. I looked at Malak and said "I believe in the power of redemption, Malak."  
  
Malak said "Of course. What else do you have? Fate and destiny have conspired to keep you alive despite my best efforts; they have thrust you into the role of savior. We have been inexorably pushed to this final confrontation, Revan. I see now that this can only be settled when one of us destroys the other. Once again we shall face each other in single combat... and the victor will decide the fate of the galaxy!"  
  
With that he attacked, but I was prepared and he did not catch me off guard. He retreated when I injured him and I took the opportunity to use one of my med paks. I wanted all my force powers available for I had the feeling that he had something up his sleeve still. And what were dead Jedi doing hanging in the tanks in the room?  
  
Malak spoke then and said "You continue to amaze me, Revan. If only you had been the one to uncover the true power of the Star Forge you might have become truly invincible. But you were a fool. All you saw was an enormous factory; all you imagined was an infinite fleet rolling forth to crush the Republic. You were blind, Revan – blind and stupid!"  
  
I asked "Is there some point to this?"  
  
Malak snarled "The Star Forge is more than just a space station. In some ways, it is like a living creature. It hungers. And it can feed on the dark side that is within all of us! Look around you, Revan. See the bodies? You should recognize them from the Academy. These are Jedi who fell when I attacked Dantooine. For all intents and purposes dead, except for one difference: I have not let them become one with the Force. Instead I have brought them here. The Star Forge corrupts what remains of their power and transfers the dark taint to me! You cannot beat me, Revan. Not here on the Star Forge. Not when I can draw upon the power of all these Jedi! And once you are beaten I will do the same to you. You will be trapped in a terrible existence between life and death, your power feeding me as I conquer the galaxy!"  
  
With that he drew upon one of the Jedi to replenish himself and I could feel what he did, he tainted the Jedi's soul. Abomination I thought, I must stop him. I was certain that the Jedi he had touched could still become one with the force if the Star Forge was completely destroyed. As for the others if I could destroy the field holding their power they would become one with the Force and forever beyond Malak's reach.  
  
I ignored Malak for awhile, simply evading his attacks and concentrated on destroying the remaining containment field on all the Jedi that Malak had not tainted yet. Finally when I had destroyed the last containment field I faced Malak for our final battle. He had no more Jedi to draw upon; this would be our last engagement. It was a close battle but I was able finally to land a deadly strike that brought him to his knees.  
  
Malak coughed and gasped "I'm... impossible. I... I cannot be beaten. I am the Dark Lord of the Sith."  
  
I shook my head sadly and said "The power of the light will always be stronger than the dark side." I searched the paths for a way to him, but still I could see no way for him to return to the light.  
  
Malak said "Still... still sprouting the wisdom of the Jedi, I see. Maybe there is more truth in their code than I ever believed. I cannot help but wonder, Revan. What would have happened if our positions had been reversed? What if fate had decreed I would be captured by the Jedi? Could I have returned to the light, as you did? If you had not led me down the dark path in the first place, what destiny would I have found?"  
  
Sadly I said "I am sorry I started you on this path. But you chose to continue down it."  
  
Malak replied his strength failing "I suppose... I suppose you speak the truth. I alone must accept responsibility for my fate. I wanted to be Master of the Sith and rule of the galaxy. But that destiny was not mine, Revan. It might have been yours, perhaps... but never mine. And in the end, as the darkness takes me, I am nothing."  
  
I walked over to Malak's body and closed his eyes, I had failed to find a way to free him of his darkness and I grieved. I tried to let him know wherever he was that he was not nothing to me, he was still my friend, and I was so very sorry that I had played a part in leading him here to his death at my hands.  
  
I became aware that I needed to hurry if Bastila and our friends were to escape the destruction of the Star Forge. I turned and left with one last look at the body of my old friend and started running for the Ebon Hawk.  
  
Carth and Bastila waited for me near the ship and as I ran up Carth asked "There you are! What happened?"  
  
I became aware that tears were streaming down my face and they were both looking at me in concern. I said "There was no way to turn him to the light side. I had to kill him."  
  
Bastila was in no mood to forgive Malak, but she realized that I felt guilty for what he had become and merely said "I don't think anyone actually expected that he could be redeemed. I'm surprised you would even think of trying. There's no time to celebrate just yet. I was able to use my Battle Meditation to allow the Republic to break through the Sith fleet. The capital ships are in bombardment range."  
  
Carth nodded and said "And that means we have to get out of here right now before this entire complex comes down around our ears. Everyone else is already on the ship, lets move!"  
  
We all sprinted for the Ebon Hawk and Carth ran for the pilots chair to navigate the Ebon Hawk away from the Star Forge. Memories of another escape from destruction intruded and I remembered Taris and wondered if the outcasts had found shelter. Maybe now I would be able to go to Taris and search for them.  
  
Bastila came and stood by me and I leaned against her and wrapped an arm around her waist. She glanced at me and asked "What was Malak to you? Why do you grieve for him so?" I sensed through our bond that she was angry with me, I wasn't sure exactly why though.  
  
I sighed and said "Malak loved me, and I loved him, but not as he wanted. He was the older brother I never had when I was at the Academy. He was always there to join in with my plans and help bail me out of trouble when I did something foolish. Against his better judgment he followed me to the Mandalorian Wars, he understood that I needed to get away from the Enclave." I paused and Bastila said "Away from me you mean."  
  
I winced but nodded and said "That was one of the reasons yes, but not the only one. I wanted to go, I wanted to do good. I thought the Master's were just being too cautious after Exar Kun. And I could never take no as an answer, I was willful and proud." I paused and sighed deeply and said "I was stupid and young, and I should have listened to them."  
  
I continued "That war broke the goodness inside of me. To win I had to make terrible choices. I've always been able to see how to get from the past to a certain future. It started small, a choice to arrange troops so that a town was lost but a major engagement won. I wept after every battle for the lives I had caused to be lost with my choices and Malak always was there for me. Holding my hand, telling me I had made the only choice I could have."  
  
I paused trying to remember what I could of that time and realized that Carth was staring at me with an odd look on his face. I remembered that Carth had thought that Revan and Malak were heroes, that they had come and rescued the Republic from the Mandalorians. Now I was telling him that the Mandalorian War was the cause for my fall to the dark side. Bastila had tried to tell him before, maybe this time he would listen.  
  
"I cannot remember much about the specifics of the War and the choices I made, the closer I get to the point I actually went to the dark side the less I remember. I do remember that the choices only got harder, and I started not caring about the deaths those choices caused. That was the beginning of my fall, and by the war's end I suspect I had gone to the dark side, though I did not know it myself then. Malak held on to the light longer than I did, but in the end he followed me into the darkness."  
  
Bastila asked "So you were never lovers?" I looked at her puzzled and said "I don't think so? I don't remember us being intimate... but honestly I could not swear that we were not after our fall. I just don't remember enough of that time. If we were I'm sure I only would have done that to control him." She stared at me and I could feel her anger ebbing, I wondered what Malak had told her during her captivity.  
  
I opened myself to her letting her feel the strength of my love,"Bastilla I have never loved anyone else; I will never love anyone else. You and I are bound together in the force; I believe we always have been." She smiled back at me and I could feel whatever doubts had been tormenting her fade away.  
  
A frown of worry crossed her features, "But what about the Jedi Council?"  
  
I chuckled, "I have given the Jedi Council many things to consider, I believe they will choose not to interfere with the bond."  
  
Suddenly Admiral Dondonna's voice broke in greeting us and betraying her relief that we were still alive.  
  
Carth grinned at everyone in the room and replied, "We couldn't let you start the party without us Admiral." 


End file.
